When I browse the pages I see girls that have received hundreds of letters. Months later they still have their profiles there and have got even more letters.
I've met a few ladies who were very genuine but had either been messed about by non-serious men (a frequent tale), or in some cases simply receive no attention. On girl was with an agency in Sumy who introduced me to a few girls. They were VERY keen for me to meet her, as she hadn't received a single letter and, if memory serves, had been registered for a year. She was really pretty (actually, she was drop dead gorgeous), but just too young for me. Unless a girl or her agency knows how to "use" the sites, their profiles seem to disappear towards the back of the search listings, so don't get as much attention as they could. A real pity as the "pro's" (both agencies and girls) are adept at getting scam profiles to the front of the queue.
Muzzy there is a whole lot of truth regarding the male scammers that contact these ladies. From complete nutjobs to momma's boys. I would almost bet it is higher than the women who scam men. Men who get scammed are for the most part trying to get something way out of their league for nothing and not willing to take the time to put the work in.
From my experiences there are very many great looking honest ladies in the 30 yr range. 35 to 40 is probably the best age range of a woman with sincere desires to meet a man. I don't know about other countries but the attitude of the uninformed in the USA is that it is a mail order bride business. Most think it is just a simple task to 'pick' a woman and have her sent to them. I am done getting angry every time someone refers to my wife as a 'mail order bride.' They have no idea that the woman is the person who has the luxury of choosing who she wants. I have corresponded with many and met a few. If I had the time to do it and extra dollars just laying around I could have traveled to many places to meet women. I was talking to real ladies - knockouts - on their home phone and emailing them. I was kind enough to let them all know that I met someone and wanted to be exclusive with this lady. I got a few emails after a year asking me how things turned out and a few 'congratulations' messages from ladies that could have been the one. All of these ladies I met through elena's models.
As was already stated, there are just as many men fooling around with this as women. Asking women for compromising photos etc, etc, etc. So for the real women who are getting hundreds of letters from sick men who are only looking for a good time it surely must be frustrating and at least amusing. That makes it more difficult for a real man who wishes to meet an eligible lady from far away. Because I am sure that their guard is up and they certainly must use a lot more scrutiny when having to deal with all of the jokers and perverted men out there. Yeah there are very many women who are in it for nothing more than to supplement their income - or the only income? And if someone has to go to a forum for advice on how to tell if she is a 'scammer' then I would presume that most are not savvy enough to deal with the workings of international dating. What nasfan6 posted above is absolutely true. Too many men think it is easy pickings and are way out of their league. I know it has been rehashed on this forum many times.
As for the original post, "Do these women ever get married?" The answer is yes. I met a guy recently who went to meet a lady and it didn't work out. While he was there (Ukraine) he met another lady. They have been married for six years and she is an MD working at a local hospital completing her internship. My wife has a friend from college who is married to an American and they have been raising a family together for ten years near Colorado. Yes these women do get married. But they are not fools or so desperate to run off with any schmoe that comes their way. If you are serious and a good man then you could be successful in finding a woman from RF or FSU countries. Just don't expect it to be like shopping for a car. And as was also stated many times, these women want a man. Not just a male but a man who is in control of his life and able to deal with life's problems. And a gentleman as well. Believe that there are many who will pull up the stakes and leave it all behind when the right man comes along.
Another thought... I spent a few years trying match.com in America. I dated quite a few. What I find interesting is that the same women are still active with the same profile after five years. It was my experience with that whole charade that somehow got me pointed in the direction of Russia. So to wonder why a woman is still listed on a site and getting hundreds of letters - stay away from letter sites!!!!! Sites that 'rate' women etc. There are many alternatives that have been discussed here before. I suggest you browse the archives.
Not to blame anybody, there are women who go through the whole courting process with the best intentions, only to realize that they do not want to leave their countries when decision time comes.
To men in such situations, I understand your frustrations, but these women are not scammers. Why don't you try moving to the women's countries and see if the decision is so easy?
Jan,
I have had great success on the tau2 dating site, I met my fiancée in September of 2008 and in January 2009 we both removed our profiles and became exclusive. That being said we are currently waiting on approval of her fiancée visa (should have approval in 4 months). From the beginning she was contacted by many weirdoes from France, Germany, Canada and USA. Mostly they wanted to see nude photos or they would ask stupid questions like "what color panties are you wearing now" in their messages to her. I wrote more mature emails and asked more mature questions, it paid off because she realized that I was not… in her words a "sex tourist" but wanted a more mature relationship.
In closing the honest girls do attempt to get married and will leave their countries in hope of finding a better man than what they have at home.
PS... I was married to a Russian woman that I met on a romance social in 2004 but after two years of marriage we mutually agreed to end it. Since we ended as friends I sent her back to Russia with enough money to start her own buisiness and pick up her life in dignity.
"Men who get scammed are for the most part trying to get something way out of their league for nothing and not willing to take the time to put the work in"
That's the whole point of the exercise. Pretty much everyone who looks in the FSU is looking for a younger more attractive girl than they can get at home, I don't know why we (collectively) are so shy about admitting it. Just as the ladies are looking for men who have better prospects (rather than all this "true love" bullshit peddled by the agencies).
Thing is nasfan, you are indulging in classic "survivorship bias" (as mathematicians call it) - "I did x, therefore anyone who does x will be successful". But for every guy like you who was successful, there are probably another 10 who failed, got scammed, whatever despite being just as diligent.
Furhermore even if someone is not exercising due diligence then that doest make it right for them to be scammed. If I leave my front door open when I go out, that doesnt make it right for someone to rob me (even if if it is a pretty dumb thing to do).
just like anything else, whether you want arm candy, someone who is own your own level or someone way "out of your league", it is still a gamble. My last wife was thirteen years younger than I. She graduated top of her class at a very good big 10 engineering school. Good breeding stock as they say. Unfortunately she had demons from her young life as her father was abusive. Sometimes these things don't show themselves until an event triggers them. As when the old man decided to leave her mom for his young secretary. She totally lost it and I was the point of her hatred almost overnight. Her mother and I tried to get her professional help. It got ugly. And there was not a thing I could do about it but protect myself in the end. Yep, I had a young hottie. I also had a millionaire model. I don't need to go into all of the drop dead gorgeous women I was with in the states. I just got tired of it all. All of the bullshit. So maybe I thought a Russian gal would be more down to earth. But who knows in the end. It is still a gamble. I myself chose someone for the years ahead. I don't care about impressing anyone with a hot young blond. Been there done that. Friends still can't believe I dumped a millionaire. But it was for my own piece of mind. Smokin hot - and I could have quit my job.
So yes, it is a game of chance looking to another land. But after having experienced the worst I am prepared to deal with whatever the outcome may be. I was fully prepared to live out life enjoying the freedom of not having a wife. It would have been very good. But at the same time not fulfilling.
So I took a gamble. Just as many do. If someone wants to spend the time to find a hot young thing, hurray for them. I know of one guy here (have not met) who finds himself a young Russian wife - he is going for his third one - and just feels good about himself because he has this young hot babe for five years. His motto is, "I'll just get another one." So if that's you good for you... As I said, I am in it for the long haul. Hopefully in thirty years I will still be by her side.
No-one can predict the future. But, depending on what you wish to achieve, you can influence the outcome.
Moonknight -- it is a gamble no matter how you approach it.
Devil I disagree with you on that point. There were a whole bunch of us in this forum that are married and learned and watched the warning signs. We were educated by the group before use and all of us are still married 5 years later. If it seems too good to be true then it probably is. If your looking to rob the cradle you're probably going to get robbed. It's not rocket science, guys who get scammed don't take time to learn the culture and the mindset of the culture.
"That's the whole point of the exercise. Pretty much everyone who looks in the FSU is looking for a younger more attractive girl than they can get at home, I don't know why we (collectively) are so shy about admitting it. Just as the ladies are looking for men who have better prospects (rather than all this 'true love' bullshit peddled by the agencies)."
A thoughtful observation! When I was a lad, there was a science homework question that described the procedure to make "applejack" by freezing hard cider and collecting the liquid that drains from the resulting slush -- and then asked, "what effect does this have on the percentage of alcohol in the solution?"
My smart-ass answer was, "it increases the percentage of alcohol, because if it didn't, they wouldn't go to all that trouble!"
As I once read on this forum, everyone hoping to become part of an international marriage is seeking a "better deal" ... that is, a better deal than we believe we can find at home. Probably, anyone who has learned anything about this process will agree that attempting to make an successful international marriage is a hell of a lot of work (and by the way, costs a packet of money). For an excellent outline of the commitment required, ralph29's recent post about his new marriage.
If a man is seeking a foreign bride -- and he ISN'T looking for some kind of a "better deal" -- then why is going to all the bother? [There are a few exceptional situations, but they probably apply to less than 1% of the men.]
By instinct, men are powerfully drawn to various facial features, body shape, youth, vitality, and so on. Our ancestors who preferred such characteristics found (on the average) more fertile mates, and these preferences are imbedded in our genes. So for many men -- probably, most men -- whatever characteristics we want to have in a bride, our "better deal" includes a woman who is more sexually attractive than her likely counterpart from our home country.
As devilmaycare says, we seem to be shy about admitting this. A few of the men who post here express contempt for those men who want a more attractive mate. Certainlhy, those of us who are serious (or at least, like to think that we are) care about plenty of other things: for example, work ethic, intellect, moral virtue, education, attitude towards motherhood, etc. etc. But how many aren't looking for a 'hotter' woman than we expect to find at home?
In my case, I want to father a baby, and comparative youth is of great practical importance. I'm not in a position to pretend otherwise. I don't know whether I'll succeed, but I have a clear concept of my "better deal." And I still have a little hope that some woman will find, in making a family with me, a better deal.
If I guide myself by the comments of most people here, I am one of the "unlucky" men who made the wrong decision and my marriage is doomed to fail miserably, not to mention that I am being clearly used.
Why?
I am a crazy, old (in my 40s), fat, and "ugly" man (some here will also add stupid) that went ahead and married an FSU girl totally out of my league: hot, young (in her early 20s), never before married, smart, and a total sweetheart (so far).
I will only know the true outcome of my decision after she divorces me or after I die, but I trust that marrying this girl was the best decision I have ever made. Yes! I went for the much younger and beautiful girl than what I had a chance to land here, but so far the rewards far outweigh the risks. I tend to believe that I made a smart decision, and she has not given me any reason to doubt that this will become the kind of family I truly wanted while I was searching.
I am not ashamed a bit for having a sweet hottie by my side, even when some people ask if she is my daughter. She enjoys such comments too, because she enjoys being with me. I am not the kind who settles for less than what I truly believe that I can get. I tried many times (many disappointments along the way) until I found the right one.