the usual gifts,, the last of the old romantics:) giving dieing vegetation or products from a sperm whales crap(ambergris,, they wish).. that's just getting to predictable isn't it?
they must think oh god here comes another one, then its received and immediately they gauge this meeting with or like many others from that beginning..
everything is just becoming so familiar for them yeah,,, same oh same oh:)
really such should be given only if you know them very well in my mind.
what i hate is when some stupid person appears selling roses when you are having a quiet moment, you know egsactly what the girl is thinking:) trouble is my first thoughts are "god dam it fuuuck off". bit like car window washers:))
the gifts i give these days on first meeting are stupid ones to see if she has any humor, prank stuff, its great they never suspect.
bathroom scales,, i haven't done that one yet, that's very very good, i like it and that is exactly what i mean:)
keep the beauty and the beast guessing:)
I suppose you wouldn't have sex unless you had feelings for the lady also. Sure I'll pay you $100 to sleep with me but I must have feelings for you first. Unless of course we are both drunk out of our minds - then it doesn't count. I remember now that the Australian women I spoke mentioned that men (not all men) from there do not know how to treat a lady.
Guess I opened another can of worms... :)
BTW, I did give my wife a fishing rod as a present. But not as a hello nice to meet you gift.
I still open the door for my wife even at the grocery store after loading the car. Heck, I hold the door for anyone. It's called common courtesy.
As far as I'm concerned cultural traditions are discretionary, wouldn't life be boring if everybody acted in the same way and did the same things etc? For anyone that claims to act by the book as far as Russian cultural traditions are concerned then don't forget their tradition of no sex before marriage!
I'll only buy flowers if it represents something special, a special occasion or similar, if one does the such a thing routinely then, as far as I'm concerned, it loses any special value. But, cosmetics, perfume, chocolates etc, not a problem and I'll open doors, or hold doors open, but not 100% of the time, anywhere in the world and often for complete strangers, after all us Brits have a reputation for being 'gentlemen'!
I have been reading this with interest. Aside from the thoughtful responses I detect a bit of dissension among the troops. I am sure the guy simpleton was disappointed but maybe learned a few things. My heart goes out to him. Maybe next time?
Still I wonder, what is the number 4 good gift idea? And to be sure, I would only give a gift of credit to my local hardware store that was good for 1 yr assuming she would be in the neighborhood to spend it. I must assume it's so she can buy me a present? As much as flowers are useless (they don't last except for the thoughtfulness) in the long run, what woman wants a hardware store gift certificate? How about a jewelery store or clothing store gift card? Maybe even a Victoria's Secret gift card, a gift for both of you ;) And a gift that keeps on giving :)-
#4 - a 70's version of the Jane Fonda workout tapes so she can make sure the bathroom scale is more to the left.
I don't consider Simpleton to have erred by not thinking of, or, buying her a gift, his mistake(s) were that he talked, in her presence, that he was going shopping for gifts (for others) and, her already feeling left out, him offering to present her with a doggy bag from a meal.
gifts on first meeting has always been an American thing in my mind, maybe its not totally but what the older people and documentary's have shown or told me here is pretty much that.
for exampled the jealousy's of the past in my country from American men dating here in New Zealand is very much that.
back in the 1940's kiwis got very jealous of this America trait creeping through our country (it was when troops were stationed here for pacific campaign) this was the same for Australia,, the reality of it, kiwis and Aussies just couldn't compete at that level with the American counterparts and their salary's, the clean cut no shame practices of there romancing,, this is documented.
there were many problems this created in our country for the military police to overall feelings against Americans, this was seriously becoming a big problem at that time", there were riots between our soldiers big time,, Auckland queen street riot was the biggest one:) this is or was talked about here until quite recently of the American so called invasion( most of these people are dead now of cause:)
I'm sure this would have happened in England to some point, maybe not to the level as here and Aussie .
what I'm getting at, Americans have been well known for this style of romance and Russia is only copying something else again from America as most country's do.
Americans have always been better at this, the passed showed this, its interesting reading your guys thoughts on it and yet you lot forget this has always been a very American thing.
maybe most Americans don't know much about their history in the pacific and some of the other side of soldiering here but this is easy stuff to find and read about, and the mark your grandfathers left behind:)
no, gifts in Russia for a first time date really is not a Russian thing or a Slarv thing.
It is called "chivalry" and it is what an FSU woman expects from a MAN.
Didn't you notice that the ones here in favor of a token of chivalry, even on first dates, are the ones married or in a relationship, but the ones against it are the ones perpetually single (not all, but percentages do not lie)?
Actually Kiwi, buying a gift for dating isn't practiced in the states. Never has been. It's just not an accepted practice. Even the buying of flowers on a first date isn't practiced. For special occasions maybe, but not in the day to day dating of Americans.
The flower thing is a very Russian/Ukrainian practice. In my life I have never travled to any place that had more flower shops. The only thing they had more was the beer booths on every corner. Every where you look someone was peddling flowers in Ukraine.
I don't know what the New Zealand military was getting paid in WWII but my father told me he was getting paid about 12 dollars a month back then. Not a lot of money even by those times. When he got out in 1946 he was getting a whopping 20 bucks a month.
plastic boobs are only good for people like my sister who had nothing after her child , i said to her , dont be so stupid to want this , she lifted up her shirt and said
"look danny i have nothing" ... flat as a board
so i took her straight to thailand and got her some . bumrungrad hospital is the best place to take someone for this gift i dont think they have vouchers . by hell they make a nice looking fake tit .and the hospital is state of the art ..she had problems with one side where it was pinching a nerve but they payed all expenses and had one of ther doctors fix it in adelaide australia
so the nerve was pinched so she couldn 't feel you ?
The difference between dating in one's local vicinity compared to dating, perhaps, halfway across the world is that many may only, perhaps, be able to travel twice each year thus once one meets a lady he may not see her again for another 6 months.
It's only reasonable she have some pleasant memories to recall during that long period of absense, if Simpleton's lady had been a genuine lady then her memories would have been of a guy who declined to offer her any other gift that the leftovers of a meal, would any reasonable person be expected to wait 6 months for, perhaps, a repeat experience?
That said, one shouldn't shower her with gifts or allow oneself to be taken shopping, just a little effort is required.
For a first date I normally buy the lady a packet of condoms :)
One thing, that springs to mind, regarding this subject .....
For years, including on this forum, I have been reading that men, within a specified period of time from first contact, should make demand for, and attain, a lady's contact information, email, home address, telephone number etc. and thereafter, literally immediately, should internet order a flower delivery and photographer to her to, in these guys opinions, verify that she is legit.
I've never gone in for this idea and in, long ago, conversations with such ladies many were aware that a flower and photographer delivery was a sign of distrust by the guy(s), they were aware they were being checked out, imagine for yourselves that a lady who has recently profiled on the web, gets in to communication with 10 guys and, all of a sudden, 10 flower and photographer deliveries turn up on her doorstep, well how stupid do these guys believe these ladies are?
However, whether she realises this is a sign of distrust or not the guy has, even before any first date, demonstrated that he is gift bearing, as if money is no object, so is it so wrong for the lady(s) to expect such gifts to be, thereafter, forthcoming?
My point is, and I already have my opinion of this flower delivery & photographer nonsense, are we saying that these guys are right, or wrong, to demonstrate that they are gift bearing within, perhaps, a week of first contact and long before any first date?
I'd say that these guys are their own worst enemies!