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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > Sumy ladies Author Post Pommie Dave Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/28/2010 11:41:57 AM   Hi all. It's my first time on here so.....please be gentle! I'm currently in the middle of a very amicable seperation which ultimately will end in divorce. I don't mean to sound shallow because, believe me, I'm not. However, I've started conversing with a "few" ladies on a dating site Online Dating Ukraine. To cut a long story short(ish), I've got a short list of 3 ladies I feel are right for me. One, my preffered if you like, lives in Sumy. I'm contemplating going over for Christmas and meeting her. I should back it up a bit here.......she doesn't know yet!!! Which leads me to my question. Once I ask her about meeting what kind of reaction should I expect? Certainly she seems very enthusiastic about a relationship in our exchange of emails but how will (should) she react if she is genuinly genuine??? Any advice of your experiences will be greatly appreciated. Thanks.......... Dave durak Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/28/2010 2:48:40 PM   One guy's thoughts: 1. "she seems very enthusiastic about a relationship in our exchange of emails" -- If you've done some reading here, you've seen that there is lots of concern about women's true motives. She could be quite genuine. For me, if a woman seems quite enthusiastic after a not-very-long correspondence, it is worrying. 2. "I'm currently in the middle..." -- I'm sure all your friends are telling you this, but a man in your situation can be quite vulnerable. Please take care! 3. "What kind of reaction?" -- If she is very interested in meeting, then she will probably be quite positive. The New Year is the bigggest holiday over there. Most jobs are on holiday for the first two weeks of January, so it is an opportune time for getting acquainted. Most people will be together with family, especially on 31 December to 1st January. If you don't already know this, Orthodox Christmas (7th January) is not considered a major holiday in itself. And western Christmas (25th December) is not a significant date on the Russian/Ukrainian calendar. People don't usually celebrate then, and though it is on a Saturday this year, it is sandwiched between normal work weeks. baron555 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/28/2010 3:46:01 PM   Whenever I read about a similar posting, this is what I do: I go to the site. How is it organized? What are the photos like? What are the costs? This is a Pay-per site. These are highly suggested to avoid. Look at those photos....now stop looking at them because genuine ladies will not post semi-nudie photos of themselves, just as much as you would not also (assuming you are a genuine, serious, non-sex-crazed man). You've been emailing this/these women......do you email back and forth for free? Do you have her personal email? Do you have her address and phone number? Have you ever spoken to her on the phone? Have you seen her face live on Skype video conferencing. Answering no to any of these would suggest that you do not really know who you are communicating with. bowhunter Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/28/2010 9:19:07 PM   Hello Dave if you would like to send me a PM with some information about the girl chances are I know her or know some one from Sumy who knows hers. I also have contacts in that city who can help you arrange accommodations and anything else you might need there. I will tell you they had a mix of rain and snow yesterday so be prepared for some really cold weather. if by chance things do work out I also know or soon will know some people to help her get and do what she needs, to interview at the embassy in Ukraine. the advice you will get from some of the members here can and will help you succeed if you know what to look for and what to ask. RodanTsunami Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/28/2010 9:46:24 PM   You can write me too. My advice is similar to bowhunter. In addition, I would not put her in a difficult position of receiving youthe first time during the Holidays as they are celebrated in Ukraine. December 31 through January 7 Pommie Dave Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/29/2010 5:08:14 AM   Hi all. Thanks so much for your shared wisdom. Durak, Many thanks. Yes my friends, and I have many, have all urged caution. Some have called "mad". Other suggested I must be going through a "mid life crisis" etc, etc. Honestly though, I just want to be happy with a woman who will love me for what and who I am and for what I have! Thanks also for the heads up regarding dates. Definetely worth knowing. Baron555, Again, thanks. The site is a paid for type. I pay to open her (their) letters. The photos of 2 of the ladies are natural, unposed and most certainly not nuded or semi nude. That said, 2 of the ladies have pics in bikinis which I feel is fine given they have FANTASTIC bodies. All 3 have a child, and are aware I don't want (can't have....if you know!) anymore. No, I have not got their personal details as yet. I intend to ask today.....very good that! Bowhunter, Thanks. If I receive a positive result I shall indeed be getting in touch with you. Rodan Tsunami, Thanks also. I wasn't aware of the signifigance of Christmas until Durak posted them. You're quite right, I shouldn't put her on the spot. Perhaps I'll approach the subject from a different perspective. Thanks again all............ Dave Pommie Dave Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/29/2010 6:44:23 AM   Guys (and girls!) what do you know about Kherson? is it easy to get to or a trek similar to Sumy? Thanks in advance.......dave FSULover Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/29/2010 7:56:31 AM   Stop using pay-per-letter sites! You'll never know who you are talking to. I had a friend who worked as an interpreter in one such site, and she confessed some of their secrets ... as long as I never said anything to anybody. Use your imagination!!! baron555 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/29/2010 9:27:43 AM   I would never ever think about or even talk about going to meet them until.... We had been communicating via our private emails/SMSs/chats for some time. I would not put any faith in the truthfulness of any letter received (by the lady, maybe) via the agency. Period. And then I would have also wanted to be speaking on the phone for some time, even if you both can't speak each other's language, using the phone and following up via email is a great way to determine if the woman is real. You don't know who you are communicating with, do you really? And then finally, just me, I would have wanted to have some Skype video calls under our belts before I agreed to meet with someone. You should have a master plan already outlined. If any woman you took interest with didn't "hit the marks", drop them immediately and move on. You may be wasting time and money on nothing. My wife and I used Elenas Models and we sent each other a quickie EM email and then immediately, wit6hin the next day, took is out of the agency. Within a week, I had her phone number and had called. Within another week, we were SMSing, and then after about a month, Skype was used. We communicated almost every day, using all mediums for about two months before we talked about meeting in person. Pommie Dave Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/29/2010 10:00:59 AM   FSULover, Thans for the advice but I've only been on the site 3 weeks and I want to give them a chance. To be honest I, like us all no doubt, was inundated with 18, 19, 20, etc,etc,etc year olds professing "undying love". Obviously, flattering as it is, I ignored them pretty much out of hand. Cricky, I've got kids 25, 23 and 20! But I've got a "thing" going with 3 ladies 2 in particular. Baron555, I take it you met your wife via the "online dating method" so to speak? Congrats, a genuine success story! It saddens me to admit that despite my 48 years and lots of experience, I'm STILL very niave in these matters. My "master plan" was to "talk" to a dozen or so then whittle the list down to 2-3 which I've pretty much done. I'm fairly settled with 2 really but now comes the crunch I guess. I want to keep coressponding via email, progress to direct interaction and then visit. Both ladies appear genuine, both are mid 30s with 1 child, both write reasonable english. Think I'll take your advice and progress it to "the next level". Thanks for good advice well received........ Dave beemer18 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/30/2010 3:36:36 AM   The site in question is related to natashaclub, probably knockoff with similar layout, I have seen several. As soon as a read you only pay to open girls letters I knew. My only experience was a girl that soon stopped corespondence with I was visiting. A guy that comes here once in a while had good success. Strange how costs vary with different girls. It would be interesting to know the girl's agency in sumy. I know a couple( heartdesires & shans) and I am sure bowhunter knows a few too. Baron, you are assuming that girl speaks good english & has computer with internet at home. In my time, I rarely find a girl with computer, internet, webcam, ect. and it can difficult to use internet cafe only. Glad you found one with both, I just think it is rare. baron555 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/30/2010 8:34:26 AM   Beem....I corresponded with many women who had a computer at home....maybe the Internet connection wasn't that great or the computer was old. Also in my short experience, I see many many couples come together and get together. If you only visit this forum, then your statement is correct. Maybe you ought to alter your master plan. You have one, right? Part of your master plan may be to only correspond with women who have a home computer or have constant good access to one. Also many of the women I corresponded with did not speak English very well, but that didn't stop us. One woman that I Skype with had her 7 year son with her and as he was taking English classes, he acted as live interpreter. It actually was a not of fun. But anyway.....one basic part of anyone's basic plan should be.......never do pay-per. Yes for some sites you pay a one time fee to access emails and addresses, but if you and woman can not take it outside the agency, immediately, then you drop them and move on. Many men have no clue and no plan and they languish and languish. You may be one of them; it is hard for a man to admit he needs to change. It's natural. But if your current plan is not working, as you think it should, (usually here the men blame the women), then some self reflection is warranted and is due. Just my opinion. I can only speak from my experience. I took 6 months to formulate my plan, three months to prepare to correspond and be ready to meet within about 2-3 months (as was suggested), I then acted and worked my plan. In the end, I corresponded with a handful of real women, any one of which could have become my wife. I chose one. I know #2 is now engaged and pursuing the K-1. I think a couple of the others are still listed. I have come to meet many more real women who are just starting the hunt. They are out there. The men just need a good plan.....and be good men themselves. bowhunter Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/30/2010 8:35:23 PM   If I had it to do over again I think I would just contact a few small local agency's. of course you would want to know what your looking for and inform them of that. then just go on a few dates to meet some of them. A good interpreter is a must if you need to use one. even if a girl knows a reasonable amount of English she may still want an interpreter. baron555 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/31/2010 9:45:12 AM   I think that some of you miss the point. Regardless of how you first meet a woman, beit via an email interest on a website, or at a social or live at the cafe.....that is one the first part of the process. The meat of the process if the continuing communication and getting to know each other, to ask and answer questions, to determine the seriousness of each and the goals and desires of each. This is where your main efforts should lie and whether any success or not will be determined. I know of a (famous on another forum) man who has been living in FSU for three years. He says he goes out on lots of dates with beautiful women, but he has never ever come close anything serious. Do you think it is that he is just finding all the wrong women? Or do you think that maybe his communication abilities are not up to snuff? Spend you efforts at determining what you are searching for, what you bring to the table and make a plan and stick to it. Some folks will have success quickly and others will take some time. But also know that you will probably need to alter your plan as you go. I believe that many men just do not have any plan and then secondly many are just not good at communication using the modern mediums available. There are courses available at your local community college that can assist you in self presentation and writing and speaking. ragingbull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/31/2010 6:25:20 PM   "If I had it to do over again I think I would just contact a few small local agency's." Mr. bowhunter. How do you find small agency's? Also, if you find them, how would you know they are small? Kerch is a small town. I would think the agency my gf used would be small. Yet they have an office in Kiev. I would not trust them. bowhunter Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/31/2010 10:21:01 PM   I would use the internet and some of the forums to ask questions then, find a few agency's. I am sure if you asked a few members here for advice they would know some agency's as well as a few good contacts to have when you land. I would not say any method cannot work, in 4 years I have met women on the pay per letter sites, fiance and Elenas models. the main thing is to go there and start learning what you need for the way that best suits you. in my case I purchased a membership here then was charged for meeting the girls when I actually met them. none of those girls worked out 1 seemed to be just a dater so I dropped her quickly and the other was a great girl but just didn't work out. the pay per letter girls had 1 no show 1 scammer and one dater. I only met one girl from Elenas but she was genuine and we are still friends. my Lady I met because I had some free time and my interpreter said I should meet a girl. after telling her what I was looking for she contacted the agency she worked for and set up 2 dates, I was only charged for 1 because she was the one I was interested in. I did meet both girls. now I have begun the visa journey and in about 6 months she should be here. ragingbull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/1/2010 3:21:42 PM   I'm just looking into a back up plan when I get there. It makes sense to go directly to the agency rather than the website. You deal with less people and less chance of being scammed. I doubt if small agencies are scam free. Pommie Dave Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/5/2010 3:47:40 AM   Hi all. Thanks for all the advice. I've been pretty busy at work and it's been a while since I last logged on so it was good to see so many opinions at once. Beemer, the agency she is with is Hearts Desires. As I said previously, I'm new to all this and when I saw her photos with Hearts Desires superimposed on them I assumed, wrongly, that they were a photographers!!! Oh well, live and learn. What I will say is that this particular lady has not "come on to me". She's very good with both asking and answering questions. She's not forward at all. No suggestions of sexual favours and not even a hint of wanting gifts. She has said she would like to meet me and, if it works well, she wants me to meet her 12 year old daughter. Again, I might be viewing this through rose tinted glasses, but my gut feeling (and savvy!) tell me she is serious........at least I hope so because I'm quite smitten! So guys and girls...... what do you know of Hearts Desires??? Answers on a forum please! LOL Thanks again.......Dave baron555 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/6/2010 11:55:21 AM   HD is an anastasia based site. You SHOULD run away. Answer these questions. Are you paying per letter? If yes, run away. Are you communicating via a private email? If no, run away. Have you spoken to the woman on the phone? If no, run away. Do you have her private address? If no, run away. Have you Skype video conferenced on your own and not with the agency? If yes, and if you have spoken on the phone and if all fits together, then proceed. Try Elenas Models. Always immediately separate the lady from the agency. If you can not, move on. Always get a phone number within about two weeks of regular correpsondence, if not, move on. baron555 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/6/2010 11:56:42 AM   at least I hope so because I'm quite smitten! That is not good. You need to think clearly and carefully. Stop looking at the pictures. Answer my questions from above. PM me if you want. Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > Sumy ladies
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