Send Flowers to Russia, Ukraine and Worldwide with Cyber-Florist.com Fiance.com: Beautiful Russian brides
Home  |  About  |  Forum  |  User Blogs  |  Login  |  Register

	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > Advise , End of Relationship? I am very lost Author Post Al Al Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/3/2011 8:25:51 PM   2 years ago in May 2009 I met a 20 year old Ukrainian girl in the USA (I'm American) and I was 25 at the time. She was on a summer job visa for 4 months. So from May '09 until Sept.'09 we started a relationship which toward the end had become very serious and involved (we even discussed marriage as an option so she would not need to leave, however it was too soon.) So she goes back to Ukraine in Sept.'09 after 4 months of being together everyday and doing many things (in this time we took trips to New York, Miami, Philadelphia, went to concerts, etc.) So she goes back and we decide I will come in Dec.'09 to visit her which I do (and the 3 months apart we call and email about 5 times per week every week.) I arrive in Ukraine in Dec'.09 and stay for 3 months until March '10. In that time things are like they were when we were together in the USA. (During this time we took trips as well, Thailand, Paris, Holland). So this is an extremely serious relationship at this point. I leave in March '10 with the plan of her visiting again in July '10 to the USA for 2 months which she does. During this time we are still going strong like before. (we also travel to California in this time). Now this time she has to go back to complete her university studies and I can not make it back until April '11 (7 months this time). During which 7 months have been like previous times apart either phone calls or emails 4-5 time week. When I arrive in Ukraine in April '11 within a week she tells me she doesn't want to be together anymore, her feelings have changed, she doesn't love me....I am completely devastated by this....throughout this 2 year relationship I had always put her first cared for her first put her needs #1 (we only had the occasional fight like every relationship). I want to include that I NEVER forgot a birthday or valentine's day or anniversary and always got her very nice and thoughtful gifts and dinners because I loved her (and still do). How is it possible that she can come with she just has different feelings and doesn't want to be together she wants someone different (a different personality) how do 2 YEARS seem like NOTHING to her??? how??? I am devastated I am lost.........I really am .......... ragingbull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/4/2011 3:07:35 AM   Get busy, Al Al. That's the only way. Look for another. Correspond with another, and be smart about it. Your gf cannot be replaced, but your thoughts about her can. When the thoughts of her come up, think of your new woman. Armin(Bonddd) Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/4/2011 6:15:01 AM   Hey, what's unusual, it's just another love story with an unhappy end. That happens often and it doesn't matter if the girl is Ukrainian or American. 1.She might have met someone else. At this age feelings can change dramatically. What can you expect from a young girl who wants to experience something new every time? Why can't she realize that she loves someone else. That's the right of any person to come to the understanding of a real feeling. She meets some nice guy in Ukraine, she understands that here is the true love and that's the end, she's going to be a loving and sincere wife and mother. So good bye my dear American boy I don't love you any more. 2.On the other hand it can be the scamm. A young pretty girl comes to the USA by Work and travel program, she or her parents have spent about $3000 for this program. She has a choice to work hard being a shop assistant, swimming pools cleaner or something else, have no rest and pleasure, earn some funny money that can hardly cover her expenses, live in a dorm, eat junk food, travel only to work and back, or... she can find a nice, young and wealthy guy, he is nice enough to be good for sex, wealthy enough to take care of all her demands and naive enough to believe in her "sincere" feelings. Ok, the guy has had a beautiful, sexy and hot girl, the girl has had "a great time in the USA". Everyone is pleased. Her visa comes to the end and it's time to say "thank you for that great time, but I think I don't love any more". But why? The guy is generous and caring - presents, travelling, support for two years, the girl is still young but she isn't stupid to refuse all these advantages of "being in love". Then she meets some nice guy in Ukraine, she understands that here is the true love and that's the end, she's going to be a loving and sincere wife and mother. So good bye my dear American boy I don't love you any more. Well, I hope that in your case it was number 1 of these stories. Don't be so devastated, I bet every man here can tell you one or even more broken-heart stories as well as women can. Good luck next time. Muzzy Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/4/2011 2:48:07 PM   Hello there, Sorry to hear such a sad story. I might use different words, but I'd perhaps agree with Armin - to an extent. If your relationship carried on after her returning to Ukraine, then I wouldn't say it was a 'holiday fling'. Maybe she was using you for the free holidays, but I'm not so sure. It sounds more to me that she perhaps did have genuine intentions for a while. From the Ukrainian women I've met, I've noticed that they can hide their emotions very well. It may be that she was equally upset to end the relationship (for whatever reasons she had), but it would just never show. Whatever her reasons, it doesn't sound from your description as if you did anything to cause this. Unfortunately, there's also nothing you can do about it. I'd advise drawing a stern line under it. It's over, and no looking back. As a guy who was married for 7 years until his wife cheated, I can certainly relate to how hard it is, and how you're feeling right now. Trust me though, life still goes on, and for a 27 year old considerate and generous bloke, there's a LOT of fish in the sea! I know pretty much nothing will make you feel better right now, but just hold on to the knowledge that every day that passes heals you a little more. durak Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/5/2011 3:27:20 AM   I know you're in anguish at the moment. I wish I knew how to help a little. Our situations are very different, but for what it's worth, I'm a bit teary-eyed these days about a Ukrainian girl, whom I kissed good-bye a few weeks ago. What your story and mine perhaps have in common, is that the woman's goals in life and relationship, were different from what the man sought. I see that you are asking "how" your time together can seem to mean nothing to her... but maybe even if you had the answer, it wouldn't help much. For her, it is all history now, and she is looking in a different direction. The way my heart is constructed, it is not difficult for me to care quite deeply about someone. What I am very slowly learning (I'm almost exactly twice your age) is that caring deeply about me, makes a woman a lot more beautiful -- and sexy. And when I say caring, I don't mean simple affection and frolics in bed -- many can give those quite light-heartedly. I have in mind something deeper, along the lines of "you enrich my life, and have meaning for me, like nobody else in this world." I don't know whether she once treasured you in that way -- but she certainly doesn't now. As Armin wrote, maybe she found her true love. Whether or no, you are not "the one" in her heart. That's the basic truth. I agree with Armin, that there are plenty of American couples that have the same sad situation. But I also agree strongly with Muzzy: "I've noticed that they can hide their emotions very well." I have enough experience with this! The topic has the word "advise", well here goes: * remember that she's just human, not the angel you might have dreamed her to be, or the devil that your pain may proclaim * if it helps to cry sometimes, then let it out * keep in contact with those who are solidly "in your corner" * though I don't pray regularly, at such times it can help me a lot * if you feel the need to turn the experience over in your mind, focus on what you are learning about yourself, rather than on her -- over time, you may see that as much as it hurts today, you learned a lot about the wonderful things you want in a relationship, and the broken things you don't want Probably, a day will come ... perhaps sooner than seems possible ... when you'll think, "damn, life is good!" And you'll be able to see that the darkness that hangs over you today, was part of the road that took you to your heart's contentment. Best wishes! ragingbull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/5/2011 3:05:03 PM   I am speaking from experience. While thoughts on this is healthy, you are now overwhelmed with too many thoughts about her. That is unhealthy and makes you unstable. That is why I gave that advice. Even if the subsequent relationship does not pan out, it puts your thoughts on this woman to a manageable level. TINTIN Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/5/2011 8:22:28 PM   My god get a grip are you men or mice.Pathetic.Really sad.Get a life and find another split arse better than the later.Life is life cry babys. Mini Cooper Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/7/2011 1:11:17 AM   It is evident that there is a large IQ gap between those people that respond on this forum... TINTIN is at the bottom. eric Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/7/2011 1:13:18 AM   your not the only one to blow some money. i wasted $900 on a visa for girl that decided not to come to america and another girl after i bought an airplane ticket for over a $1000 told me she wants to get married. i said i am not ready so soon. she replied "not with you" some more girls write nice letters until you refuse to help them with phone and travel expenses. the funny thing was i did the traveling. some girls hide their emotions really well. ragingbull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/7/2011 2:12:16 AM   Only those who love are heartbroken. I think we all have that capability. Somehow, Tintin has lost it. I bet he has a story to tell.r ragingbull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/7/2011 11:13:07 AM   Whatever Tintin is, there's one thing he is not: Dunny41. Armin(Bonddd) Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/7/2011 2:11:40 PM   Eric, the truth is that a mean pays twice. Why don't you check the women's background, reality, honesty before spending all those money. Pay $200 to a private agent to investigate, to prove the real intentions and you will save loads of money. Harvey Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/9/2011 12:37:54 PM   Armin -- she is a young girl -- how many have spent two or three years with a woman in college thinking she is the one only to find out that she had other plans - or just had an awakening and changed her mind? This should in no way be linked to her being Ukrainian/Russian or whatever. She is young, it makes no difference what country she is from. She enjoyed a good time. She moved on. That's it. To be 27 and devastated by the loss of a girlfriend... oh the horror! Time will eventually have this young man think of the good times he had --- many more than the average person has experienced. Chalk it up to experience and that you enjoyed the company of a lady many would never get the chance to know. In your later years you can reminisce about it to you friends and think about how you became so upset over it. Trust that this will harden you for the next time... and the next... and the next... AlAl - this is probably your first real relationship with a lady. Get over it and do not dwell on it. There are many more horror stories than yours getting your feelings hurt. Thank your lucky stars. You were traveling and enjoying life all the while banging some Ukrainian hotty. You were weren't you? You are old enough to be my son. And I would say to you, "Move on. She didn't deserve you anyway. She just used you for a good time." Hopefully you had a better time and you didn't pick up any communicable disease. It's a win-win for you. Forget all the nonsense of investigators or whatever ---- SHE AND YOU ARE YOUNG!!! It is not like she duped you on some dating site. Shit happens, Move on. kiwinorth Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/10/2011 9:46:11 PM   tintin, you do know how to make yourself look like a moron! Al Al, i'm sure most on here understand where you are, male or female, this is rather normal stuff to all once upon a time. you need to take stock where you went wrong with yourself, and thats giving your heart away before you should have. theres giving it and actually "giving it". shes not really of fault, only of been someone you really like. i learnt many years ago never trust a girls intentions or even more so, your own self. all people have an angle, you need to figure that out with people around you, what they are really thinking. never let ya mind believe or decide what direction a relationship is going, or where it is, until a very good time has gone passed. yeah relationships are as confusing as the last sentences. hell mate you dont know people until a given period(and thats not a short time), so why believe in something before you actully know them.. the exception is people you grew up with. dont change who you are, just protect that heart and think wiser around newer people in your life. if its to be, it will be, meaning most good things cannot be hurried, so why hurry ragingbull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/11/2011 2:26:32 PM   AlAl is 27. When will he be old enough? Santiago Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/13/2011 1:42:42 PM   Whilst at University many, many students experience massive changes to who they believe themselves to be and who they thought they wanted ti be with. Absentee relationships are difficult.# Absentee relationships with people going through the intensive learning (and changing) of Uni life is next to impossible. from the little you said I believe she was genuine about you... sadly it faded to black. In a month you'll surprise yourself with the amount of recovering you have done. Get out there and find attractive girls for pure fun! AND NO FALLING IN LOVE!!! Rebound into bed, not into church! You'll be fine colin Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/15/2011 7:56:21 AM   I asked the same questions as you before, how do the good times and intimate moments get forgotten? a friend who lived in Ukraine for many years and had his heart broken as well told me they are tougher women they have had a hard life than us and can easily put things like this from their minds and move on. Also that men are quite disposable to them ,if you are continually bombarding her with how much you love her and miss her you will just seem pathetic! Dont call dont text her ! just hang out with your friends try and exercise ,do things you enjoy! Look at the bright side imagine if you had of married her! ua Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/27/2011 1:31:40 AM   we are hard to forget:) Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > Advise , End of Relationship? I am very lost
	Pages: 1