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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > Taking Time Author Post durak Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/7/2011 9:05:49 AM   In recent times, I became deeply fond of a Ukrainian girl. I could see from the start that there was practically no potential for the kind of marriage I want, or even any kind of marriage at all. As I usually do, I acted more from my heart than my intellect -- that's why my name is Durak. After many visits, I have finally accepted that there is no hope with her. We made our good-byes about 10 days ago. Of course, any man here who is prone to such mistakes, might profit from my foolishness: don't waste your irreplaceable time on something that doesn't look promising. But that's not my purpose, in this post. In my last visits with this girl, she began "opening up" -- telling me her impressions, thoughts and feelings about some of our times together. For me, this kind of communication is like gold. It was bittersweet, that it began only at the end. When I love someone, I want to know what's going on with them, and I surely take this knowledge into account. Emotional intimacy is better than sex -- and anyway, I believe that a deep and enduring sexual connection is impossible without it. In the final days, I was reflecting on the importance of time, to what had passed between us. She lives in a sort of timeless world -- it's part of her eccentric way of life. I, as the long-distance suitor, have felt the pressure of time quite strongly: for me, our days and hours together were precious and few. And it cost me serious money, to have this time together. I'm not a wealthy man, and in addition to the expenses of travel, my business is mostly undone when I'm abroad. So I wanted to make the most of our times together. And there was tension between my sense of time pressing, and the slow meandering pace at which intimacy grew between us. I suppose that most who pursue an overseas romance will face this: the necessity to go through passages that usually need plenty of time, by a compressed calendar. I wonder what difference it might have made, if I could have pretended to myself, "we have all the time in the world." Would a more relaxed perspective on my side, have helped? I don't know. No answers here, only thoughts, and questions. I hope this might be useful to some other man. Rick4girl Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/7/2011 11:31:56 PM   I feel your pain. it sucks when you realize it isnt going to work but you are with what seems to be the most beautiful girl in the country. Thats what sucks about the young ones I used to date. They couldn't separate reality from fantasy. Like you, I cant affdord to make those mistakes. Chin up buddy, plenty o fish. just gotta be sure about the girl. It might take some time. Myself, Ive decided to settle down and be patient and meet the girls and see what happens without any expectations. who knows. I will find the next where I least expect. Harvey Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/8/2011 10:24:00 AM   dude, you seem to have a tendency to fall too easily. you want something so bad that you allow yourself to be taken for a ride. and I don't mean that you are being scammed. you may hang on to a glimmer of hope that she will come around. and you try to sell yourself - just my opinion and may not be fact. it reminds me of a movie line - here we go again with movie references . in the movie dumb and dumber (you are not dumb I know) the character asks the girl what the chances are she will go out with him. she answers (in a way), "One in a million." and he exclaims, "So I have a chance!" I actually use that reference to guys at work that they can get hurt or make a blunder on the simplest task. part of the process is to be sure that she digs you up front. or at least digs you in the first ten minutes to an hour after you meet. you are either in or out in that time frame. simple as that. if she digs you then you have only crossed the first hurdle. only then can you put on your salesman hat. and from there it is 50/50 at best. most people make a decision in the first 10 minutes of meeting someone. if there is no spark immediately then it is an uphill battle. it can be a difficult pill to swallow. but it is a fact of life. durak Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/8/2011 12:51:53 PM   Thanks for your kind comments, gentlemen. Today, my heart is sore, but it was a valuable experience, and I don't regret it. @Danny: I'm happy to go anywhere in Russia. I haven't yet connected with a small-town girl. I think the costs of visiting for a week or two (what is usually practical for me) won't be dramatically different between a small town and a big city. The money I can save on a place to stay, would be offset to some extent by costs of getting there. @Ralph: There was plenty of chemistry, from the beginning. Her attraction to me is genuine -- if it weren't for this, I would have given up much sooner. It seems to me, that she is not ready to be close to any man. ragingbull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/8/2011 1:31:27 PM   "its why i have no time for average guys going to fsu in the hope of a model" Mr. Durak said nothing about whether or not she's a model. Even if she was, that's what he wants. It's not true that you don't have time for them. You call their women, "scammer" time and time again. You have not called this woman a scammer. I commend you for that. Perhaps my response to you had some good. No time means you do not give time, even for a response. My definition and the dictionary's definition of a scammer is one who obtains money by deceptive means. I don't believe in labeling people scammers, especially before they even have a chance to be deceptive yet. Certainly, they are not scammers if they accept gifts or even ask for gifts and have not lied to get them. We are all not angels ourselves. Even if the woman is a scammer by definition does not mean they cannot be reformed. Don't second guess Mr. Durak. He wanted to see the girl, scammer or not. Those who spend serious money to see a woman means they care very much for the woman. As much as you see that he made a mistake in going to see the girl, it is what he wanted to do. @Mr. Durak - Sex goes a long way to emotional intimacy. If emotional intimacy is absent after sex, it is usually because it is rationalized in one's mind why it doesn't exist. It's not just my opinion. For the good guy, that means don't have sex until you are serious about going further. For the bad guy, it's have sex, run and hide because she may be coming after you. Muzzy Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/8/2011 3:58:31 PM   Hey durak, I'm truly sorry to read your tale. I can't think of a gentler, more considerate and downright intelligent guy than you, so it puzzles me no end that things just keep on being so difficult for you. To echo Danny's statement, though, it surely must happen. As hard as it is to consider now, deep down you know things will get better. I certainly won't try to advise or admonish you, you've probably forgotten more than I know about this whole thing. If you want a sounding board, you know where to find me. Be blessed, my good friend. You're a seriously top bloke! lonelyranger1701 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/9/2011 3:09:59 AM   danny,,, you make choosing a wife sound more like a job interview!! This is perhaps the biggest decision of anyones life,,,, it's the most personal choice anyone can make!! Yes,, it might easier to choose someone older,, or not as pretty,, but you will wake up with that person along side of you every morning!! Do you want to wake up every morning and think;,,, she is good enough??? Think down the road 5, 10, 20 years from now,,, your kids might ask you;,,daddy,,,,, why did you marry mom?? Well son,,, because she was;,,, average,,, plain,,, older,, blah,,, do-able,, easy, ordinary, good enough???? Of the women I have written to, I would say most were pretty, by most men's standards!! But by my standards,, all were pretty to me!! With one that would make all men drool!! We see their looks first, but the inner beauty takes time to see! Time we don't always have enough of with the damn distance between us!! I don't go looking for trophies,,,, but I want a smile on my face when I go to bed,,, and when I wake up!! ragingbull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/10/2011 5:28:26 PM   Danny is looking for information that Mr. Durak found a beautiful girl and gave her a gift. It's good that Mr. Durak has not said anything about this. She will surely be slandered. If this subject is continued, he will soon make it up and slander her anyway. This is his history. durak Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/10/2011 7:15:08 PM   Danny, The age difference is way too big (53 to 30). I usually look for women several years older, I met her on an impulse. Ironically, she's not conventionally pretty. She has a delicious figure, but her face is nothing like you see in any magazines. What instantly attracted me was her bubbly energy, and incredibly lively mind (for me, bright is very sexy). Over time, I grew accustomed to her "funny face," which of course became very dear to me. And when I awoke to see that face beside me, I saw there all the beauty I could wish. It's love that makes someone beautiful, more than beauty can explain love. I don't think of it as bad luck, but rather bad judgment -- I was hoping something would work, despite plenty of evidence it wouldn't. Поэтому, я такой дурак. P.S. nasfan, if my use of Russian annoys you, then иди к черту :) lonelyranger1701 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/11/2011 2:36:09 AM   Danny,,,, not only do you have a problem with dyslexia, but you also have a problem with memory and comprehension!!!! Read this very slowly,,, so just maybe you can remember and understand it??!!! I don’t search for models!! I never have,,, and I never will!!! I would call most of the girls I wrote to pretty,,, but most certainly not models!! I don’t think most real models are even pretty,,, I don’t like the skinny toothpick look! The one girl I call “gorgeous“, became that way after changing everything! What should I have done?? Told her; to go away,, you are too pretty for me now???? I am not threatened by a woman’s beauty, it’s the attitude of most models that I don’t like. I want to share the rest of my life with them,,,, not live to serve them!!! You seem to have a real problem with pretty women?? What is it about them that has you so frightened?? Why do you feel the need to try and prevent anyone else from dating them?? Did a pretty girl break your heart,, once upon a time??? You must have very low self-esteem!! No confidence in yourself,,,, and a lot of jealous towards any man that does!! Why elsewould you write this?? “if your prepared to have that hassel and never find anyone that’s your choice I hope you enjoy masterbating to fsu pictures because that’s all you will get” For the record,,, MS word removed half of danny’s mistakes!! Danny,,, if you want to fix personal problems,,, just look into a mirror and fix your own!!!!! Why are you so bitter towards men who are doing their own search?? Do you think everyone should be like you??? I truly hope not???!!! So often in your posts, you will write; it’s your choice!! Is it,,, is it really my choice?? Do you mean I have a voice in my own future???? If so,,,, I hope I never have to read your opinion about anything I do again!! Because your opinion is not wanted,, and it is not needed!!! Oh,, if you don’t want anyone “Whining” about your opinions,,, don’t aim them at someone!! Danny,, you are a real dumb, dumb,,,,, now don‘t start whining to me about name calling!!!!!! ragingbull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/11/2011 10:36:38 AM   Now that I mentioned it, Danny is trying to play good guy with Mr. Durak. I don't believe anyone else is safe from his abuse, especially the newbies. ragingbull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/11/2011 11:07:29 AM   There are two principles that Danny goes by in looking for a woman. If you follow them, she is a scammer. 1. If she is beautiful, she must be after your money. She is a scammer. 2. If you give her anything, however small, she is a scammer. Never mind that she does not ask for it, never mind that she didn't con you into giving it to her. She is a scammer. Those who tell stories of women described above are not safe in this forum from abuse by Danny. ragingbull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/12/2011 12:04:31 AM   "i dont have a problem with pritty women" That's not true. No one who describes his gf as "pritty" or beautiful is safe from Danny's slandering. If she gets flowers, he is called a flower boy. He will press for information on how much it cost to see her. Any amount will mean she will be called a scammer. lonelyranger1701 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/13/2011 1:31:16 AM   Rb,,, he's not danny anymore!! He's now; "dang-odd" !! It would be impolite not to call him by his correct name!!!! lonelyranger1701 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/13/2011 3:19:55 AM   danny,,, or dang-odd You should write a book!! Call it;,,, Cheeep bassturds,,, use ur untelligents!!! Harvey Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/13/2011 8:21:48 AM   as much as I want to stay out of this........................... why on earth would you (danny)be at a strip club with your girlfriend getting a lap dance with a 'hot ukraine' stripper in the first place??? that is the lowest of low!!!! you have got to be kidding me. ??????? surely you are making this up. any respectable woman - man - would not even consider this. perhaps you were trying to prove your manhood by showing her that you can just as well pay for it too. since it has been discussed what a cheap baaah- sturd you are... did your girlfriend pay for the lap dance??? you should hold on to her. maybe she can pay for your trips to the "massage" parlor too. why would anyone share such a thing??? AS for durak -- well, I shouldn't but I will. I asked my wife to introduce her sister to durak - just last week. We hope she will visit in the next year. She said, "He is too old for her." She wants someone less than ten years older (35). I have met this man and I would introduce him to my little sister if she were available. ragingbull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/13/2011 1:09:05 PM   It's not hard to take a picture in front of an establishment and say you went inside. You made other stories up about you and your sexual exploits, why not this one? lonelyranger1701 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/13/2011 3:14:41 PM   danny,,, the "flew" for 5 days??? I think you mean "flu"?? What is it with you??? Must all of you women be flying or falling???? You have a regular theme going with women flying or dying!!! Danny,,, tell me,, what are your prisons like?? Do you think you could make some friends in jail??? lonelyranger1701 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/13/2011 9:53:25 PM   danny,, don't ever write Suzuki and Jeep in the same sentence!!!! Is this a Suzuki Side Kick??? One of the most dangerous Mini SUV's on the road!! Danny's getting creative!!! ragingbull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/14/2011 12:38:08 AM   Danny, a month or so ago, you mentioned your grandmother might need to go to a home. You just got me to admit balcony jokes were shameful. Now, you see it fit to tell dead grandmother jokes. Did she really die or is she still alive? Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > Taking Time
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