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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > Do dreams really come true? Part 3 Author Post AussieInLove Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/8/2012 2:28:23 AM   The Interesting. She is reluctant to organize the details of my trip there until “later”. She seems to think that finding a hotel or apartment and booking it can happen a couple of weeks before my trip in July. I naturally want to book it now. She doesn’t want to plan what we will do until I am there. I want to do it now. We have talked about maybe going somewhere together outside of Ukraine but she doesn’t want to talk about it until after I am there. I want to book that romantic holiday to some romantic Greek island now… We obviously like each other enough physically to get naked on web cam (which I now realize was perhaps a mistake even though she initiated and I reluctantly agreed to) and we like each other in so many other ways that I think planning our time together is something that we should be doing… Yet she seems reluctant… The very first time we spoke on chat on the Russian dating site I did what I always did and Google searched her pictures… One of her pictures came up as a Facebook page with a totally different American name. When I questioned her about this, fearing she was just another scammer she got furious and demanded to know what and where and how … she insisted aggressively that she was definitely not that person and that somehow her picture was stolen and used without her knowledge. I told her that she would need to contact Facebook and complain that somebody was using her picture. The next day she told me that she did so, and a few days later the “fake” profile was deleted from Facebook. So our very first chat was quite a heated “discussion” about fakes and scammers from Ukraine. Our very next chat, the next day, was a strong, almost desperate attempt from her to prove to me that she was real, and so she suggested that we get on webcam “right now”. We did… and she was right there… the beautiful sexy lady from her profile right in front of me. To-date I have not been able to catch her out on anything else that shows to me that she is not real and willing and ready for a relationship with me. Yet that Facebook profile incident does come back in my mind every now and again... To-date she has never ever even mentioned anything about money. On a few occasions where I attempted to get her address so I could send her flowers or a gift she flat out refused to accept any gifts from me. Even when we spoke about perhaps going somewhere “if we like each other in real life of course” she mentioned that she would have to see about her finances before she could tell me if she could go on a holiday. She assumes that she will have to pay her way. I have not even attempted to say to her “don’t be silly, of course I will pay for you” just in case she takes offence. She is a very proud, smart, funny young lady and insists on making sure that we do not get too much ahead of ourselves (my words) until after we meet in real life. Just on the “getting naked on webcam” incident. I really did not initiate it, as much as I wanted to see more of her. She initiated it by trying to ensure that I was to her liking physically. So it started with show me your body, then it went to show me more and before I knew it, even though throughout I was always attempting to ensure that she was comfortable with what was happening, we showing each other all parts of our bodies… Then for a period of a few days, maybe a week, the discussions on chat and on sms got quite “hot”. And it was all good and fun but then something happened that surprised me. All of a sudden one day when we were “into it” she said that I should stop “asking her to do these things”. Telling her that I was not the one that initiated any of “these things” only got her more angry… The words “I am not a prostitute” floored me… I never thought she was… and we were not doing anything on that last occasion that we had not done or talked about quite a few times in the previous week or so… I thought about this quite a bit and I really think that her reaction to the “hot stuff” was simply an attempt to ensure that I did not think of her as just a cheap thrill on the internet and thus loose interest in her after we “finished”. So I told her the next day that I had decided that we had gone too far and that it was my mistake and that we would no longer continue down that path “until after we meet in real life of course”. She seemed totally happy with that decision and everything has been great since…!!! One of the main things that have me constantly baffled is HER insecurity about ME… Here I am thinking how lucky am I to find such a woman and OMG will she like me and, OMG I hope she doesn’t find somebody else in the mean time, and surprisingly, SHE is the one thinking exactly the same way about me… We have had quite a few heated discussions centered around the fact that I am NOT talking to anybody else and I am NOT going to just meet another woman here and simply forget about her… I have never had to testify my commitment to a woman so many times as I have had to with her… To me she seems a little jealous but I think that is simply normal female insecurities (from the little I understand about women)… So I take it as a positive sign… So… here we are… I met this girl… and I am falling for her hard… and she appears to like me a lot… Time will tell how things go but I am VERY hopeful about our future together… Has any of this happened to anyone else? Thanks for reading and I would welcome all comments… lonelyranger1701 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/8/2012 4:21:45 AM   Is it a pay per minute webcam??? If yes, find a deep hole and await death! Rag'n'Bull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/8/2012 4:35:48 AM   I won't even bother commenting but I have a suspicion that the flood gates are about to open. :) Vesnovka Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/8/2012 6:02:08 AM   How many fotos were there in Fasebook? AussieInLove Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/8/2012 10:17:36 AM   Not sure what you mean Rag'n'Bull.. Good floods or bad ones.. ? Esvees Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/8/2012 1:11:44 PM   Mate, all I'll say is get your head straight. I'm in a similar situation, but despite her telling me all kinds of sweet stuff, I' m still factual and to the point. Why? Because I've never met her in real life and until that happens, we are still complete strangers. Don't go over there thinking you're going to meet the love of your life. Think you're going on holiday and meeting someone you don't really know. If it turns out leading to more than that, great, if it doesn't no harm done, you had a holiday. And there's still plenty of women out there. But snap out of this idealized version of things in your head or you could be in for a very hard landing. dungy377 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/8/2012 3:00:12 PM   Thanks Rag'n'Bull Martin coleman apal1 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/8/2012 3:07:48 PM   Hi Aussie. 1st Question) Why 3 seperate posts? Going to be hard to follow for future posters when no one replies to #1 and #2 posts... just fyi. 2nd Question) Why worry? Woman is very interested. She has a child. She is very serious about you. Answer: Why is she not planning? My guess is that she doesn't want to make a mistake and then you don't like her suggestions. My advice, book a hotel in her city and then once you know each other, go apartment hunting together from local newspaper. Most local ukraine apartments will need month-to-month contracts. My advice, stay to hotel near her. Answer: She is not a prostitute so stop it with the cyber sex until after you meet and have serious relations. You are making her feel cheap. Stop it. It's okay if she wears some sexy lingerie during webcam, but if you want her to feel you respect her, let her guide how it goes. But my advice is to cut it down to a real minimum the week before you meet and forget it happened. If you show her you respect her it will go very far. Answer: She will be extremely jealous if she is a normal Ukraine woman. Get used to it and be faithful. Apparently you are. Guess: Photo.. everyone steals photos. Nothing you wrote shows anything at all remotely to be a scammer. She is on video skype? That is as good as it gets and she is communicating? She is really serious. Good luck. Treat her with respect and she will be yours for life. Rag'n'Bull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/8/2012 8:42:53 PM   Aussie, I wasn't going to comment but as you ask, and you don't seem to be "getting it" otherwise, I will comment. First of all by your chosen member ID 'AussieInLove' you transmit an impression that you've met someone who you're in love with and you're hopefully set to live happily ever after. I read your first post, you're a 45 year old businessman managing your own business, you enjoy s;porting activities and with a great circle of friends, "great" I thought. Then I read your second post titled "The Good" whereas you write: "Since we met 3 months ago" "Since the very first day we met" Yet then you wrote: "I have to wait for another 59 days before I meet her in real life" And then reading your third post (above): "She is reluctant to organize the details of my trip there until “later” "She doesn’t want to plan what we will do until I am there" "We have talked about maybe going somewhere together outside of Ukraine but she doesn’t want to talk about it until after I am there" "On a few occasions where I attempted to get her address so I could send her flowers or a gift she flat out refused" And to summarise: "Since the very first day we met she insisted that we talk on web cam" "We obviously like each other enough physically to get naked on web cam" Aussie, Please excuse me for being straightforward with you: You're a 45 year old successful business so why the phuck are you suddenly acting like a 16 year old kid as soon as you come across an online webcam girl who gets her kit off for you? The oldies of FSU dating had some golden rules and one of those rules is/was that if one couldn't get her address (to verify that she is legit) then dump her and move on. What you haven't told us is how much you're paying for your webcam girl, that's all she is, a webcam girl, she's said all the right things to you ... "Oh yes, I want to meet you" etc. etc. etc. and you've gone and booked your trip. You don't know where she lives, she has repeatedly declined to discuss any details of your trip with you, meanwhile you're probably continuing to pay all the time you webcam with her ... Think about it Aussie, when you arrive in Ukraine do you really think she is going to be there to meet you and how are you going to find her when she doesn't meet you? This is probably all very new to you Aussie, unfortunately the majority of the more knowledgeable members have been driven away from this forum by the idiot element because, I'm sure, they'd tell you pretty much the same as I'm telling you. No self respecting woman, in Australia, Ukraine, Russia etc. would ever get naked on a webcam particularly to someone that she has never met, please get the message Aussie, presuming that your air tickets are non refundable you've got 8 weeks to rescue your trip, use the time wisely to try to find yourself a good lady, FSU dating is an online minefield, you've already hit one mine, please try to tread carefully in future and not hit any other mines. JayH Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/8/2012 10:55:11 PM   Most sensible advice I have seen here!! A couple of observations--it is good to get real address and phone numbers-- you did not say of your 2 way vision was you paying !! or Skype type.This is important I think--if it was free-- that is a good sign. Getting clothes off--16 yo old crazy thing to do !! But-- it could be rationalised. I have been shown some bits in fun--on pay sites-- from nice girls!! So I do not think it is everything. She is being carefull about locking herself in to you--it is not reasonable to expect her to go away on first meeting.In fact--on sex issue-- if you are serious-- forget it and treat it like you would in Australia.I have found Ukraine girls very moral and conservative on this issue( despite all else you may read). Treat her with proper respect in every way-if you think about it--if you have genuine motives -- that should be easy for you. There are lots of warning bells in your story-- you need to keep being carefull--- regardless of that-- if you keep pursuing her it will be the only way to find out.From my experience--in roundabout ways-- I have got to know quite a few girls there quite well-- agency workers and owners also !! So I have lots of info and first hand experience-- it often does not go in a predictable way -- so you need to think with your head--not your loins !! Like all these stories--I would love to know what site? what city? what girl? AussieInLove Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/8/2012 11:32:47 PM   Firstly Thanks for all your comments... It is great to finally be able to share and get the opinions from people that have similar experiences... OK... LonelyRanger and more to the point Rag'n'Bull.. I would totally agree with all you have written except for one thing... I have not payed and would never pay 1 cent for webcam with anybody... We use Skype and it is totally free for me and for her... Actually since day 1 this girl has cost me literally zero dollars... I get my sms and international calls for free on my plan. It has cost her much more because (from what I understand) she pays for her sms's. Maybe not much for each ... but still, when she sends me 2-3-4-5 a day it would add up. On a couple of occasions when I did not receive an sms from her for a day or two, she would send an apologetic sms saying she ran out of credit. So Rag'n'Bull I can totally understand your comments from the point of view of me paying for her time... but now that we know that is not the case maybe you could look at this with different eyes... But I do agree with you ... I am acting like a 16yo... LOL... I can't say I am not having fun... and this is the whole point for my post... Is it possible that dreams can come true... Or am I literally in fantasy land and missing something obvious to somebody else... I can see the importance of getting a physical address to verify that she is for real.. But in her words... I do not give my address to anybody from internet until after we meet... Now to me that did not seem unreasonable... Here in Australia you would never get a girl to tell you where she lives until after a few dates... so maybe the "oldies of FSU dating" might have to adjust the thinking a little here... Having done quite a bit of on line dating (I had 6 relationship over the last 5 years after being divorced and all of them are from online dating sites, albeit local ones here in Aus) I can pick a scammer from a million miles. I actually have fun playing with them during some boring days in the office. I honestly cannot see any signs that his girl is a scammer. But I may be surprised. Again this is the thought behind this discussion... "Could she be THAT good that I eventually find out she is scamming me". I hope not but time will tell. On the getting naked thing... Look... We never got quite to the "cyber sex" stage... when it got too close to that... she reacted and I put a stop to it... we have actually NOT talked "Sexy" for two weeks now... and I told her that I am not here to get some cheap thrills on the internet... and I am not... When it happened, SHE initiated it... Like I said she is quite cheeky... so it was her that started to want to see photos and then the real "thing" lol... But it was always simply sexy fun... never heavy or pushy... by either of us. And for the record she never got totally naked... breasts is as far as it went for her. Apal1 thanks for your comments... I agree... sexy fun on the internet with someone you are seriously interested in for real, is a dangerous area that can backfire... I realized this and that is why I stopped it. I am realizing that jealousy is something that (especially) Ukraine women might have in their DNA... That is actually fine with me... I almost like it... It means they care... ;) The 3 posts was only out of necessity. It kept giving me an error when I tried to post it in one post... After I cut it down in three it worked fine.... Vesnovka there was only the one photo and that was the one she also used for her profile on the dating site... OK... Here is a question for you all... If a person is a scammer... how long do they go for, how much time do they invest in one person until they actually "hit you with it" Is it reasonable to spend 3-6 hours every day with me, spend money on sms's for 3 months and not ask for one thing? To me that would not make sense... the return on their time investment would simply not add up... Am I missing something Rag'n'Bull? Having said all this, YES I am falling for her... and yes if I go there and find out that I was taken for a ride it will be hard for me... but it wont be the worst thing that has ever happened to me... and then I can join your ranks and offer the benefits of my experience to other silly people that fall in love and think their dreams can also come true... BUT I live in hope... AussieInLove Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/9/2012 12:47:20 AM   Hey JayH, If you are talking about Apal1's advice, yes I agree... very good...! Thanks mate... By now we know that this girl has not asked nor have I offered 1 cent... So this, so far, has nothing to do with money. I think one of the most silly things to do in this pursuit for our happiness in the FSU is to use sites that have pay per letter type fee structures... If you think about it THAT is the most certain way to set your self up for being scammed. I cannot understand how anybody can be so silly as to pay for and believe a letter that is written by who knows who and is specifically designed to get you to respond... and repeat... I met my girl on RussianCupid. IMHO the best site, but then again maybe only because I (may) have found my ONE there... lol... She is from Odessa and there is no way I am telling you her name ;)... I will be in Odessa on 6th July for 2 weeks... All going well I will not have ANY time to catch up with anyone else on here for a beer or 2... but if things don't work out... nahhh.. positive thoughts... everything will be fine... lonelyranger1701 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/9/2012 3:00:12 AM   Aus I L,,,,, First thing, I think you are a sick Fxxx that’s just jerking our chain for kicks!!! What the hell is it with Aussies??? Even if I didn’t know where you were from, I would still call you classless low life!! I don’t remember if you stated the age of your girl or not, but you did say she had a child. Single mothers in any country will a lot for their child, single mothers in FSU countries will do a lot more! When she snapped at you, saying; “I am not a prostitute” she probably realized she had crossed the line on how far she could go and still look at herself in the mirror! She is now ashamed of herself! And you should be too! How many men has she stripped for on the live cams??? How many will she strip for in the future?? You have no way of knowing,, and she won’t ever tell you!!! Not the truth anyway! What kind of woman do you really want to marry???? How long will they carry on a scam?? Why put a time table on it?! The word “scammer” is used far too often, the word “opportunist” is a better fit!! Why won’t she plan the dates and events for your trip??? She is keeping her options open,,,,, for opportunities!! If she sets a time and day with you,, she will be expected to keep it! Who knows,,, maybe you are not her biggest fish??! apal1 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/9/2012 3:18:15 AM   Well, that's a good sign from what you wrote Aussie. But pull in the reins abit more on the falling in love part. If you have the notion of dropping to the knees and proposing too soon, it could spell disaster when you do meet for many reasons. 1st) It's a sign of weakness and Ukraine women run fast from it sure as I've ever met any. 2nd) Don't show any weakness to a Ukraine woman. See #1 above. 3rd) Show up and meet her and start it from day one, because sure as its going to be a new day tomorrow, so will your relations be on day one when you do meet. Everything you wrote, its cool, and it gets you a foot in the door. Just let the normal relations happen, go to dinner, give her flowers at the first meeting, say good night. Kiss on cheek and see her for lunch on the next day. Start cycle over. Rinse and repest. Play it cool. Don't show desperation. She is your friend right now and those are hard to find. Desperation is a big sign of weakness. See #1 above... Good luck! kiwinorth Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/9/2012 3:35:35 AM   hi ya aussie,, yeah quite the story, a good laugh your scamming question,, really there is no limit, the returns, a holiday where or what ever money mentioning is very old school scamming, wish life was that simple. for what its worth with everything you have said i dont feel comfortable about this girl.. and no not for any reason of scamming. the different outburst are very very dodgy,,, beautiful but unstable yeah) the outburst and the situation shows me shes demanding pushy, majorly insecure, morals questionable, its all a little to forward really and then to finish it off she demands that very private place was your fault. all this and you have no address, which you have tried for? aussie an address is not much to ask for in ukraine,,, even with an address(if its an apartment) these girls a locked behind usually three doors(this is normal) two of them steel, ok the first steal door is easy to get around but. unless she of cause lives in a cottage but i still wouldn't be happy of not receiving an address, its very abnormal not to. this to me really makes me wonder about her stability. if you do go over, my thoughts are,,, dont bother with the thought of tripping out of ukraine stay there, you need the mileage there to get a feel for these people and specially her background. by the way theres just no excuse for been a bitch and been a ukraine is absolutely no excuse. also their sim rates are a lot cheaper then in aus from memory. to me it seems she is pushing your bells and running you through the emotions. again this rings of emotional stuff, dose it not to you? girls of the not so good nature or the little over the top are very good at this. she is finding out a lot about you isn't she, how you emotionally work, and you are confused about her. shes much about hiding stuff and passing stuff aside, again it rings of something to hide or her emotional been. you need to check out her passed, what shes really about. the childs father would be to interesting to talk to i bet. what has she to say about the childs father,,, a bastard i'm guessing. yes the reason i'm overly negative with this is her emotional state, its just doesnt ring quite right. many guys have married emotional roller-coasters from Ukraine, are you sure you could handle this type of shit. check out the last posts from "ozzy", (american guy, excellent dude, but bad choice he made) he had one hell of a Ukrainian emotional nightmare a few years back. many guys are to embarrassed to tell such story's. be careful naighbour Rag'n'Bull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/9/2012 3:40:13 AM   Aussie, Well if you're not paying for webcam then I take back that part of what I said but, I repeat, no self respecting woman from any country would ever get naked on the internet particularly with someone that she has never met. She said "I do not give my address to anybody from internet until after we meet". So have there been, are there, others that are getting a similar treatment as you? bowhunter Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/9/2012 6:47:38 AM   Only way to know for sure is go meet her. Waiting to book your trip and any other plans is quite smart since prices will drop after Euro 2012. smart a Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/9/2012 7:24:53 AM   Aussieinlove, Why not take her to your home town somewhere in America? AussieInLove Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/9/2012 8:39:01 AM   Apal1 once again thank you for the VERY constructive and helpful advice... I will certainly apply in real life what you have suggested... KiwiNorth, thank you for your honest feedback AND I totally understand where you are coming from... If I was honest I would say that I have had similar thoughts to yours. NOT about her being a scammer or an opportunist but perhaps emotionally needy and maybe beautiful but unstable... I have no FEAR of being scammed... I work way too hard to give my money to anyone that doesn't deserve it. So I will never loose any money over this girl or any other... what the cost will be, if she turns out to be a scammer or simply an opportunist, is loss of my time... which is certainly a very valuable commodity for me... hence our discussion... and "careful" is my middle name ;) The way I see it is like this... most women have issues... they don't need to be beautiful or from the FSU to turn out to be "crazies"... (I was married to one of them for 20 years...lol) ALL women have insecurities and emotional baggage... So the real question for me is will this one's "issues" be the kind that is normal and expected and can I deal with them... Or will she turn out to be beyond control... I suppose only time will tell and at this stage from everything that I have experienced I am prepared to spend the time to find out the truth about her. And if I am wrong... well it won't be the first time and I will learn and move on.. Nothing ventured nothing gained ... right? Rag'n'Bull you seem to be stuck on the getting naked thing... I said it earlier and repeatedly... what WE did was silly, a mistake and if I had my time over I would not have allowed it to happen... but it did... and when WE BOTH realised that we had gone too far it stopped and it hasn't happened again and it won't happen again... I didn;t wait for anyone else to tell me that it was a mistake...I realised it and stopped it.... But it seems that mistakes are not tolerated by a few on this forum... I tend to look at people with a slightly more optimistic outlook... She has been quite open about the fact that she has met others.. and that ultimately they were not right for her... She has certainly never claimed to be some angel from some village and I am the very first man she has ever talked to or met... However I do believe that I am the only one she is talking to right now... Again maybe I am wrong on this but how would I (or anyone) know... Until I know... And Finally... Mr LonelyRanger... obviously you are the resident LonelyWanker in the group... Who the hell do you think you are and when did you assume the right to call me or anyone else for that matter a "classless low life" whether I am Australian or not... It is obvious to me that you are a bitter old man and your nickname describes you quite well... lonely... I feel a little sorry for you... For your benefit again Mr Lonely, as it is obvious you are also the slow one in the group, yes we both realised that it was mistake to go that far with what started out as cheeky sexy fun initiated by HER and when we realised it had gone too far WE STOPPED IT... now I am not ashamed of anything and neither is she... we are adults that got carried away in the heat of the moment for a short period of time (about a week) and then both realised that it was not smart to keep going down that path. And Lonely if you think I am a sick F** that is simply jerking your chain please feel free to not read or comment on this post... I am certain you will not be missed by anyone... :-) Well this is fun .. isn't it...!!! Rag'n'Bull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/9/2012 9:39:54 AM   Aussie, I'm not stuck on anything except this remote tropical paradise of an island where I live with my beautiful girlfriend. I'll just say that there is a saying ... "If something seems too good to be true then it normally is". Think about iot ... Please :) Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > Do dreams really come true? Part 3
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