Did you understand what I said? I did not say anything about you wanting anyone to follow you. If they did, you would not have anyone to call idiots. Everyone is unique. Everyone is different. You look for that difference. Then when they get back at you, you cry. Why would anyone want to follow a crybaby anyway?
Rag (Martin) - You have this obsession about "followers". I don't follow you. I don't even understand you. I just know now that I remember when I first joined the forum a few years ago, you had a lot of jealousy issues with a lot of guys writing anything in this forum that sounded anything close to having a successful relationship, foreign or domestic.
Don't care what tripe you keep posting. It just looks insane to keep posting daily blogs about your so-called business in the Philippines ... you keep mispelling it, so doubt you are even there Mr typo nazi. ;)
You continue to mistake me for someone who actually gives a shit ...
I awake this morning to find that you are the most recent poster in four seperate threads, last week you would daily post in some six seperate threads, and you suggest that I am the one that has issues with others?
Please ... go and demonstrate to others that they/we are all losers, that they/we have got it all so very wrong, that you have got it so right, that you're 'Mr Perfect' having never made a mistake in your life, tell them what you like because "I DON'T CARE" ... I've got a life outside of this forum whether you choose to believe it or not ... "I DON'T CARE" :)
If I write more than 2 posts a day, 5 days a week, I feel I am over doing it!! Plus, there is no incentive for me to do any of it!! But, to write 1 to 7 posts on 4 to 8 threads almost everyday,,,, he MUST have an agenda!! Nobody spends that much time without a reason!!
He throws the word ďloserĒ around a lot,, then tells other people to have more class????
He calls other people losers, so they will change and become more like him????
What has he succeeded at??
He is spoiling a girl and giving her a better life style??? And we arenít sure if they have even kissed yet???
A couple of points from my experience living over in this part of the world. I'm not going to say I'm an expert, but this what I see.
1) Many of these pretty girls are very lazy. But they know how to sweet talk a guy into giving them money. However they respect a firm no (Ösometimes and there's no point in trying to reason ever, particularly if your right).
2) These girls (above) are loyal. But just like a cat is loyal to their owner, if they get a better meal elsewhere they will move on.
3) They might say they are "saving themselves" but this more often an excuse. I recall a pretty girl who walked in various countries as a hooker as was telling this line to the new boyfriend so was old and really fat. I was surprised he believed it.
4) A girl would expect the guy to be a man and make the first move. If you want it you should take it is the thinking.
5) If a guy is over there for a short time, a girl can be the perfect girlfriend if she thinks itís going to benefit them (girls admit this but itís no surprise since many are just they are lazy).
6) Don't be afraid to spend money. But you should start off my offering first. If she needs to ask you have probably lost the respect at this point. You should know she needs and know how much she needs (because you are a man).
7) If your there regularly and have a business, this is a big bonus.
8) plenty of hot girls will be prepared to date an older and ugly guy if heís able to support (sponsor) her. No doubt about it. However they see it as sponsorship and itís culturally somewhat acceptable.
9) If youíre accepted by the family then youíre on the right track. Of course they might just be accepting you as youíre a source of financial stability to the entire family.
Personally I would expect to be shagging a girl if we were an item (most guys would). Otherwise I'd be thinking when a guy has a good look at her, heís getting the same as you are except for free. I know itís not very romantic but girls I've talked to have actually said they stopping believing in romance when they were 15. Everyone is different of course and its really a private matter I would have thought..why would anyone want to bring that up in the first place.
What I think is more important is to have something in common. Even the young beautiful ones in 10 years will be second rate as there will lots of more beautiful younger girls to replace her. So if you have nothing in common and she isn't your intellectual equal things might be difficult in the future. I donít think itís important if others think sheís beautiful, itís what you think that matters. But then again opposites attract so who knows what is best and I only came here to get an update on how Martins resort is coming along.
..And regarding business there. There's money to be made if you have money to invest and invest wisely. And if you can sell services overseas ie outsourcing under the radar this is also profitable. But you have to work much harder to get the same results as in the west.
Trying to setup my fiances' girlfriends with old ugly angry guys that seem to congregate on this forum like some sort of mourner's support group? ;)
It's no wonder why most of you won't post a single photo of yourself. You have a lot to hide. Probably you won't upload or post profile photos and then show up expecting nice words and a dinner will be enough? ;)
And why Rag, if you failed in FSU and hang out in Phillippines are you still doing on an FSU forum giving advice to guys going to FSU? ;)
ben - Don't agree with a lot of what you are saying.
You attempt to stereotype a lot about FSU girls from a guy who may have met a few?
You come off with age numbers and stats sounding like some sort of expert?
Really? FSU girls give up on romance at 15? Are you for real? For girls that have sex that young, probably, but it isn't that way for 99% of the girls I met in-person in any country in the world. Geezus... you believe that tripe from someone's letter?
And you expect to f*ck a girl if you give them anything? You should stick to prostitutes because that's the attitude of a lot of the sex tourist guys.
If I were a newcomer, I'd disregard 90% of what you wrote. I have not seen anything but #6 and #9 being anywhere near correct.
Yeah I sterotype. Its easier as I can't meet everyone but of course there are variations and it all depends on who I have meet. I am married to a Moldovan and live there now. I first came here in my late 20s. I've never written letters, but have friends (girls) who some might call scammers and I they tell me many stories. They see me as a trusted adviser and from time to time I help them if they need and never asked for anything in return. Its interesting to see things from their side and most have had/have a very difficult life and they have a extended family they support. Also I'm not sterotyping all FSU girls. Most are hard working and not interested in meeting a foreigner. Those are the ones guys should be looking for but they won't find them listed on the internet (at least the ones I know). I see guys who come here and many have no money, completely unrealistic expectations and clueless in terms of their objectives. Apal you seem to be an exception to the rule. I don't say I'm an expert, I'm too busy with work to give this subject that much attention.
"Really? FSU girls give up on romance at 15? Are you for real?" Two I talked to said this. Do I believe it, I'm not sure, but what I see is they are more practical in their expectations of finding a partner.
"And you expect to f*ck a girl if you give them anything?" Well its the mentality of locals. But what I meant was if I was dating her I would, I won't want to wait until after marriage.
Ben,, I like what you wrote, 1 thru 9 ,,, but I wouldnít expect to be shagging them, unless like you said; once the two of you are an item! Too many guys expect sex on the first trip, simply because they buy things for them, or just because they flew over to see them.
When a woman comes on to me too quickly, Iím thinking;,,,, how many times has she done this before?? Will she still be doing it with men after I leave town,,, while telling me; Iím the only one???
The same things goes for webcams!! How long has she been doing it??? Will she continue it in the future??
I donít want the headaches that come with such women, so I avoid them.
If anybody wants to learn about the girls and their dating habits,,, go to Vk or other such sites and see for yourself!!!
You can search in any country or city, and any age down to 13???? Try searching for up to 18yr olds, then select; ďsingleď,,,,, ďactively searchingď, ďin a relationshipĒ or,,, ďitís complicatedĒ and go down one year at a time to see how many 13 year olds are in relationships,,, or itís complicated!!! You will be shocked!!!
Apal,, you donít need to worry about me coming to an agency with 5 Odessa girls! I donít want that type of girl,,, the stereotypical Odessa girl.
The one girl I did plan to meet there, was one of the more honest girls,,, she admitted to being in the Carpathian mountains with her lover during my stay in Odessa.
Now,,,, everybody probably thinks this is sarcasm,,, but No,, she married the guy!! The one girl who actually did what she said she was going to do,,, makes her the most honest girl I have met!! ( I returned to her city after leaving Nikolaev ) Oh,,, and she didnít know my name,,,, after a year long correspondence???
Lonelyranger, yes I agree and that would be my approach too. You have to prove your serious and be a gentlemen. If you go there with no expectations of sleeping with them but to instead just to enjoy your holiday, and spend quality time with your girl your much more likely to have a good time as well. And at the same time you can demonstrate your able take care of her and show you think about her needs you almost can't go wrong. But at the same time, don't be a fool and throw around money as your also lose respect and be considered a fool.
Ben,, Iíve been a fool for one girl, but my only regret is that she lied to me.
I helped her out several times with the only expectation is that she would send me timely emails!! Almost no emails! But,,, Iím sure that I will receive one towards fall, again, when I usually plan my trips to Ukraine. However,, my travel plans have been changed!! She will be out of luck this year. I'm looking forward to telling her; NO!lol
I wonít post a photo of myself or any girl from my past,,,,,, not anymore!! Itís weirdoes like you, dunt, Aussie, and a few others who have spoiled it! No matter how good the photo looks, they will mock and ridicule it!!
I have always posted photos to my profiles in the past, but when a girl seemed to be getting close, I would remove pics from my profile and send every photo I have to her with the letters. I made sure she knew as much as possible about me before I made my trip. Itís when I expect the same from them, is when everything falls apart! Most have no intention of leaving their country,,, and never will!!
Iíve had girls call me handsome and,,,, marvelous??? I donít even think of myself as being,,,, marvelous?
Iíve had girls take me by the arm,,,, and say; Muscles!!! Then I flex for them,,, most girls canít wrap both of their hands around my biceps!!!! They also like my tight buns,,,, not bad for someone my age!!
However,,, I wonít ever do ballet!! This is a working body,, used, bruised, and abused! And there isnít any end in sight.
You know apal,,, you keep talking about your success? Then I think about martin/RnB!! He has found someone to live with and he is happy! Who among us can dictate to him about what makes him happy??! So what if itís in the Philippines??? I donít know if he plans to marry her, or just live with her, but he is happy!!! So in a way,,, he is more successful than you!!!
So put than in your pipe and smoke it!!
Ben - re: stereotyping - is to generalize and to generalize individuals is so bad at so many levels that it is the bastion of the ignorant. Not one person in this world, is exactly alike. I agree that it is harder to have to analyze each person on their own regards, but that is a life choice.
re: scammers - yes, as I wrote many times, there are scammers and abusing agency girls. There are even scam agencies out there. Some websites promote them and others clear them out quickly. How are you to know? Use your head or read a forum like this to learn how to circumvent the bad and get to the real good.
re: hardworkers - I agree that many FSU girls, even the smart beautiful ones have a very hard time dealing with the economy of Ukraine/Eastern Europe. And yes, I have personally met very unrealistic girls, who join the agency to find the ultra rich foreign boyfriend who will buy them a Porsche at a meeting, and when they marry she will have a mansion with 7 to 10 rooms. That was a wierd meeting. Girl wasn't even that pretty and lived in a one bedroom apartment with her half-employed mother...
re: Romance dead at 15. I have not yet met one of those girls. I guess some girl from a small village or heavily industrial town may feel this way. Reason being is that in reality romance is expensive to a Ukraine guy who makes $100 a week at hard labor... $200-$300 a week at a managerial job as a degreed professional working 50+ hours a week including one day on the weekends. But not one of the girls I met say what you are saying. Especially not my own fiance'. She adores romance and it was always her dream.
re: Sex for gifts. I don't agree with you, but to each their own. My fiance' has completely saved herself for marriage. I didn't set out to find someone like that, I just liked her and met her. I was truly stunned by how beautiful and young she is/was when I first saw her. To know she has never even kissed a boy before meeting me? 1 in one hundred trillion to one. But as I said, she adores romance. And I didn't want to keep dating and having girlfriends. My objective is to be married, not to play the field. Figure out your life long objectives. Your cultural bias will prevent you from having relations with a true girl. Ukraine culture expects that a girl (and her family) receive gifts during a real courtship to prove you are sincere. Your mentality will have you meeting ex-escorts and prostitutes (active). So watch yourself if that is your plan... and goal.
lonely - get back on the saddle and learn what we are telling you. You aren't a bad guy. You had a rough time of it. I also had a rough time on my very first visit. The psycho girl I met had played games with me in letters. She was even making money on the letters and even got profit from me sending a gift basket. She told me the truth when I met her a few years ago. She could not even send an email about the truth, because of the fear the girls have of the mafia connections with some of the larger agencies keeping the girls in line. It is big business in Ukraine and brings in a lot of extra money for Ukraine tourism. The ripple effect is evident if you look for it.
But my advice for everyone is to be realistic. It is very expensive to marry and even court a FSU girl. If you are only wanting a girlfriend and unable to think of the real expenses you may not be very realistic. It is more expensive than just the cost of a ticket, hotel/apartment, food to meet and then paying for filing paperwork, unless you are hoping to meet and marry the girl with no expectations, who has no self-esteem and no wants/desires of her own.
If that's is a guy's hope (that it will cost little next to nothing to have a Ukraine wife), please just go buy a pump for the inflatable doll you are really needing. It's much cheaper and more risk-free. Don't give in to the notion that every girl is a scammer. It's business. And there are real and legitimate earnest girls in Ukraine looking for a better life with a better guy, who won't see them only as sex objects with no trust, no real serious intentions.
Apal, Iím sorry, but I havenít really heard anything that I didnít already know! Iíve been very serious about my search, and I have spent a lot of time on it.
Itís my plan to step back for a year, and maybe at this time next year Iíll decide if I want to try again. I need time away from it, to see if this is really what I want. I was married to a Russian woman before, and I told myself; Never again!!
It wasnít just about her,,, but the whole process that is involved. Not everybody accepts foreign marriages, and you will get a lot of strange looks,,, and that is with a two year age difference!
I have an experience of my own, where I thought the girl was under pressure from her agency. We started talking about staying in contact outside of the agency. She had to travel 80km to get her letters, but sometimes the agency would read them to her over the phone. That explained a lot of misunderstandings. I offered to buy her a computer, but she already had one, and didnít have a connection, and would need to find a place in her small city. I then suggested a fax machine, and I asked her if she wanted a simple fax with the roll of paper, or a more advanced one like I have at home. An All in one officejet?? She was off of the website that same week.
Apal, you don't think your one to stereotype? seems to me you have guys here stereotyped.
And who said Sex for gifts? Not me, youíre making this up. Personally I see guys like you giving gifts and taking girls on shopping trips and of course the girls love it and it makes them happy and secure. Particularly as they can show off to their friends who are envious of the fact that their friends has this wonderful boyfriend who buys her nice clothes and supports her....and doesn't expect sex. Keeping in mind that they wouldn't be able to afford any new clothes or makeup themselves so the guy is almost like a father to these young girls. Like you said local boys don't have the cash, but cash isnít the only thing to a relationship. A young beautiful isn't cheap to maintain this is true which makes them more available. So welcome to stage 1.
Anyway all this is fine, but you should get something in return if is a real relationship. If you talk to locals they would say a beautiful girl is like low hanging fruit but you really need is an intelligent girl who can take care of your children and yourself. Itís not normal to buy a grandmother a TV (expensive or not), guys in this part of the world donít do that. Itís not about the money itís about being treated as a soft touch and being seen as Mr Moneybags.
Your advice in general is actually good (for stage 1 as this is where you are at). Newbies should take note but the real test is when you have to live with your girlfriend/wife particularly in another country. In my mind guys like Nasfan are the ones guys should listen too. For example when she moves to your country sheís got no friends to be envious of her and the giving of gifts loses its novelty. What will she do in her spare time, sit alone at home probably if sheís got no education and been spoilt? Eventually she may want to be back with her friends where and family in the Ukraine she was important. You mentioned sheís close to her family, so will she leave so easily (now she may want to go as to go would make her friends jealous, but at such a young age is she prepared to leave permanently). So how does all this fit in with your "life long objectives"? Do you plan to move to the Ukraine? or spent much of your time away from her? I know I'm being somewhat hash and itís not how I wish to sound as you seem like an descent guy but I these are questions I would be thinking and would suggest newbies talk your word of wisdom with caution.
Also on the matter of "ex-escorts and prostitutes" you seem to be doing some stereotyping again. I know girls who work for the government, teachers, business owners, air hostess, and students and yes also ex-escorts. The ex-escorts I know have had a difficult life. I know one girl who's mother was beaten up by her drunken father and as a result killed when the girl was 15 and she had to take on the role of her mother supporting the family and since does (even the father), all she wishes for is an family and normal life. Thatís not uncommon too. If I happen to be friends with her thatís my choice. So your comment..
"Your mentality will have you meeting ex-escorts and prostitutes (active). So watch yourself if that is your plan... and goal."
I don't get, who you think you are to know my situation, you donít have a clue.