OK, the name of this topic is an obscure pun on Soviet culture -- don't worry about it ;) I just want to complain about a specially unpleasant woman.
CHAPTER 1
While trying to chase down a certain young lady, I didn't make any new contacts for two years. When I sent out some messages in the spring, I got my usual low rate of positive responses. But a woman in Kyiv did answer, and wrote (more or less) "why not, let's meet." (By the way, she was someone I had written to a couple of years before who had not answered, I decided to write again anyway.)
Her profile wasn't the most inspiring, but she looked like a possibility, so your old friend Durak gave it a try. When we met, I didn't find her as visually appealing as her photos -- as often happens, profiles contain pictures from the best possible angles, and sometimes from a few years before. In truth, I thought she looked rather plain. But looks aren't such a big deal for me, when I like or admire a woman in other ways.
No such luck, in this meeting. First, she led me from our point of rendezvous to a typically high-priced Kyiv cafe, and though it was mid-afternoon, proceeded to order a lot of food (ostensibly for both of us, though I wasn't hungry and tried in a diplomatic way to tell her so). Again, I wouldn't mind so much for a pleasant meeting, but the cafe check was enough to cover a day in a pretty nice apartment.
After a few minutes conversation, she announced that she has worked as a fashion consultant, and proceeded to give me advice about how I should improve my appearance. I could say in her defense that Durak and fashion are complete strangers to one another, and no doubt I could use all kinds of improvement -- but is there any country in the world, where it wouldn't be thought damned rude to say such a thing to a person one has just met?
She then asked what kind of car I drive. When I explained to her that I always get used cars, and have saved many tens of thousands of dollars over the years by doing so, she sniffed that for her, everything must be new. She went on to explain the she needs about $1500 per month (she specifically used the word NEED) for various kinds of maintenance, including $200 haircuts. The idea of spending $200 on a haircut, in a country where per capita GDP is 10% of that in the USA, actually put me in a state of shock.
Now, there are guys out there who are willing and able to bankroll princesses, and I don't have any problem with that. But this woman and I had already talked in our very short correspondence, about wanting to have a child (that is one of Durak's criteria, so I'm very up front about it). I'm not a rich man, and I figure a kid will absorb a lot of money for quite a few years -- and if you have any experience with new moms, some of them cut most of their hair off to prevent baby yanking on it all the time, and are really happy just to get through the day with a little sleep here and there. Being a princess who has to have every hair perfect, and mothering a little one, are not compatible in my eyes.
So any guy patient enough to have read this far, will understand that old Durak was thinking, "won't be seeing this girl again!" Some lost money, and a lost afternoon I could have spent having a lot more fun while in Kyiv, but I have to roll the dice to be in the game.
But the annoyance wasn't over! After our meeting, I wrote to her explaining that I didn't see us as compatible -- actually, I wrote that she would be happy with somebody richer and handsomer. She wrote back that she didn't think we were compatible either, all very polite. She even asked if I could be on the lookout for a suitable man (!) I have one old friend who makes buckets of money and who looks more than little like Cary Grant, but he's been married for ages, and wouldn't look twice at my Ukrainian correspondent in any case.
A few weeks later, to my surprise I received a message from her. It was less than 5 words, something along the lines of "what's new?" I couldn't fathom why she wrote to me at all, and was saturated with work and travel preparations (Durak has spent one month out of the last 7 weeks in Russia). So a few days later, when a had a little time to write, I finally wrote a short reply, just be to polite. I try to be a gentleman, at least most of the time.
She then wrote back, that she would consider giving me another chance, if only I would follow her fashion advice. She also made some pointed reference to how long I had taken to answer her message. Wow, that woman has nerve! At that point, I could have written in complete sincerity, "actually, you're kind of ugly, but with your character I wouldn't want anything to do with you even if you looked like Audrey Hepburn." (Note: maybe you can imagine a woman more beautiful than Audrey Hepburn; I can't.)
But being reflexively polite, a few days later when I had a moment, I wrote back to her ... but at first I couldn't, because she had blocked me from messaging on the dating website. I know it's possible to block somebody by mistake (typical poor web page design), so I gave her the benefit of the doubt). We had done real email, so I emailed her, trying to be gallant, and referring to an old Soviet car whose remaining relics are pretty shabby these days, that you could put a coat of new paint on it, but it would still be a crappy old car. In other words, I answered her "sorry, I'm just not good enough for you."
Now, this was a woman I have no interest in whatever. I was taking some of my valuable time to answer her silly messages, just to be gentlemanly. Her last message to me was along the lines of, "I blocked you on purpose, how dare you take so long to answer my messages! And I don't want that old Soviet car, the new Porsche for me!"
a girl who picked me up at my apartment once wouldnt leave with me because of the two different shades of socks 'black socks' she noticed as i was putting on my shoes,, under my Levi's,,,, what a drama it came to be..
anyhow i wasn't going to change them, my thoughts who the hell would see them,, in the end i compromised.
she changed my socks for me.
what lengths they will go to so everything is just right
Hi durak,
Can I ask you a question?...
Have you tried using Mamba.ru?
Personally, I found from my experiences, the women I was talking to on Mamba.ru were more real then any bullshit agency listing single russian women for a 'foreign relationship'...And that includes this website, fiance.com....( All the bullshit letters I received from women listed with Fiance.com...I picked out the letter writing scam straight away)
Forget about Russian/Ukraine women listed on bullshit/money making 'dating' sites and let these women live out their days, in an exploited life of squalor.
To find a woman on those bullshit sites that isn't materialistic, you would have more chances winning the lottery.
After saying that statement, I've met decent FSU people and NOT ONE of these people had anything to do with a scam dating agency!
It seems to me, the one's who are smart, have already left the FSU and were living in another country because they knew the FSU is a corrupt shit hole.
Mate, the money you have spent on these over opinionated, over priced,mentality-vain bitches, you could have brought a new car plus a Harley-Davidson...And have some spare money for an all-expenses paid fishing trip chasing Saratoga in Papua New Guinea!!
I'm just reading up briefly, about how Russia and China have vetoed the latest UN decision to help the poor Syrian people...
To me, this sums up Russian mentality, they don't give a fuck unless it's THEM that's having their asreholes shot at.
Dangerous Demographics, will be the end for Russia..We won't see it, but it is happening to them at an alarming rate....And you know what?...FUCK'EM!
Cheers.
Well I wish I could say this is new to me but I have seen this in more than one country. The girl obviously thinks she is some beautiful princes and people should bow down to her. She probably acts this way with her friends also. Since I am very curious about human behavior I would have found her very entertaining to say the least. Of course I would have had to push a few buttons to see how she would react.
In my eyes, it's actually rather poignant. She's already coming to the end of her 30's, so she's not "marketable" in Ukraine, and even the foreign gents will see a lot of younger alternatives.
As I mentioned more than once, she's not the prettiest, and with her attitude, she is almost certain to live out the rest of her life alone.
I have an hypothesis -- could be dead wrong -- that she got so snippy at the end, because she's more aware of her darkness of her situation, than she let on. I think that most women her age, especially those with an interest in motherhood, are very acutely and painfully aware of how the sands are draining through the hourglass. It would be understandable if she wanted me to show more interest -- even if she thought I wasn't her type, she perhaps wanted me to affirm that she was desirable. If that was the case, my detached message of "Hey, I'm not up to your standards, so I'm moving on!" could have reinforced her anxieties about her situation.
About the whole fashion thing ... I'm much more concerned with essences, than appearances or status. A whole lot of women won't find me desirable for this reason (among other reasons, of course) ... and that's OK. I believe that in starting a family, it is very necessary to be clear about what's important, and what isn't. So many people in this world are worried about whether other people will be impressed by their clothes/house/car/lifestyle. What a horrible waste of time and energy! I want to create things that are useful, to drink in and appreciate beauty, to show love in many directions, to care for my health and that of my dear ones, to learn and to teach, and to share knowledge, tools and experiences with others that can empower them to go where they want in life.
One thing's for damned sure, each of us is going to come to a last day on this planet. On that day, will it matter how shiny a car we once drove?
I have mostly steered clear of the typical agencies. I'm registered on elenasmodels, which seems to have a higher proportion of the "real deal" than most of the sites. For example, I estimate that I've gotten something like two scammer letters per year on elenasmodels (compare that with other sites!) I've been around long enough, that I can identify most of the time-wasters pretty quickly.
From 'em' and other sites, I have met a fair number of women whom I believe were quite decent in character, and sincere in their intentions. The real ones are there, but it takes some care in which sites to use, which profiles to select, and how to read a woman when corresponding or meeting.
One problem with using domestic dating or social networking sites, is that most of the women don't have an express interest in an international romance. In my opinion, very few people understand how hard and wrenching it is to successfully make a new life in a very foreign country. Most people, whether in my country or the FSU, simply aren't cut out for it. At least on the international dating sites, those women who are sincere have (for the most part) given serious thought to what it means, to become an expatriate.
Fashion is very important to some people, Mr. Durak. I am color blind. I have never considered myself as such, but I failed the test in the Air Force where there are hidden numbers. Years after high school, my sister told me how I never matched in high school. I do remember a girl friend telling me I didn't match a few times. But, that didn't stop our relationship.
Fashion mattered to the girlfriend I had before my first FSU trek. She did make some remarks sometimes how bright my clothes were, and how Pat Riley, coach of the Magic and others were well dressed. I took it the same as all of our conversations. She never said how I should dress so I didn't change the way I dressed much.
She was going through nursing school and she met a guy there that was dressed the way she liked. That she asked me to give her more space stunned me at first. Her son then told me about how she was into fashion. He told me that she always wore designer clothes and I just never had the right clothes nor the right combination. I did not notice. Her son took me shopping and I bought new wardrobe. Geeezzz. What was I going to do with my old wardrobe. I usually keep them until they at least have more than one hole. Since clothes last long nowadays. I have all sorts of clothes, some decades old.
After she graduated from nursing school, she wanted to get back with me. I visited her and picked up some things from her house that was mine. I left and never went back.
This girl taught me some things about fashion. I have noticed, though that many women in the FSU are seriously into fashion.
A panic does set in when they approach 30 yrs! They are no longer desirable to their own men, especially if they have children.
The girl I call the “Date from Hell” was 29 or 30 when we met. Like Every girl I have written to, she had not met with a man before,,, according to her letters.
She was very, very happy to meet me, the first one who was actually early for a date?! I had always considered her to be very shy and conservative in her letters,,, I almost didn’t bother to see her. On the way out of the hotel/agency, she told me about her fantasy of having a 3 way with a man and another woman!
We went to a club and had a nice meal. It was during the meal and a couple of drinks, that she realized I was serious. She stood up and said; You’re serious??? Yes! I replied! Again she asks if I am serious,,, and I said; Yes! She sits down and slams her drink, then tells me about how,,,, “All of the other men before, were only interested in fun and games” How many other men,,, and did they get their fun and games,,, I don’t know, but after the events of that night,,,, I would think so!
We talked some more, mostly about her and what she does for a living. She is/was a fitness trainer, and teaches several classes a day. She was tired and sore and really wanted a massage,,,, I can do that!! We leave for my hotel,,, I’m already helping her navigate. She admits to me, that she hasn’t had sex in four months,,,,,,,,, and says: “I want to fuck!!!” Having almost died, losing 8kg just days before arriving in Nikolaev,,,,, I’m thinking,,,, I’m going to almost die again??
We get to the hotel,,,,, and everyone is staring! I guess I am to leave the key at the desk when I leave my room,,,, I never do that. We get to my room, she jumps on the bed, says; this will do,,,,, then jumps into my arms! She was very heavy for her size,,, very lean! She then asks for money,,,,,, and after my reaction,, she then says; for a bad tooth?! I give her some, then a phone rings. It’s mine,,, who the hell is calling me here? It’s the interpreter from Odessa,,,, the girl who was sick and AWL was now able to meet me. I told her; maybe in a few days. While on the phone, my girl is circling me,,,,, grabbing my you know what,,,, and talking,,,, Ah,,,, it’s another girl??? She wants to meet you??? After the call,,, she then wants to return to the club! I wonder what would have taken place, if that call never came??
To make a long story short,,, she had 6 more drinks,, fell over twice,,,, played with my thingy most of the night,,,, and I could not get her out of the club until real late,,, she then went back in with a friend of hers’ and I left.
The next morning while in the shower, I heard someone crying out in the hall. I don’t mean waah waah,,, I mean loud bawling,,, like someone had just died! And a man’s voice,,, possibly her friend?? I hurried with my shower and got dressed, but I was too late. I don’t know, but I believe it was her. Realizing she had her chance,,, and blew it! After so many others just had fun with her,,, most likely prostituting herself in the process.
I went to the agency and gave them the girl’s scarf that was left in my room. They asked me about my date? I sat down and said;,, it was the date from hell!!! After seeing the way she acts after a few drinks, I could never bring her home. “She has always been one of our best girls,,, we never had any complaints!! “
Almost a year later to the day,,, I’m in the Nikolaev hotel again,,,, waiting for a date that never showed. There was another American there, who planed to marry a girl and live in Nikolaev. And not bother to do the visa thing. We talked for hours, mostly about the girl from the previous year. He said; she was 30 yrs and over compensating! She most likely didn’t want a 3way,, and only said it for my benefit. She knows no man there wanted her.
It’s late here, I’ll continue tomorrow.
I think you might have a better chance at success if your potential partner has worked or traveled abroad. My wife has done both in the past , working tourist season in Turkey and Romania. She has had experience in learning foreign culture and a little of the language. I would say Elena.s is probably one of the better sites when it comes to down to it unless you have access to vkontakt (not sure of spelling).
The experience you described, seems dreadful to me. Though I think it was educational, too -- an eye opener. And in my mind, it reinforces the picture I have in my mind of Nikolaev/Mykolaiv as the rotten heart of the industry that is powered by western men coming to Ukraine, and those who are ready to take their money.
The reaction of the agency reminded me of something I haven't thought of in a long time ... I once paid hundreds to a local (USA) agency for some introductions to local women -- this was back before internet dating.
One of the few women I met was obviously suffering from an acute mental disturbance. I've no formal education, but I have learned some practical things about applied psychology, effects of trauma, counseling etc. Not only was this woman in serious trouble, and serious need of professional help, but this was obvious within not many minutes of meeting her. I won't try to quote any of what she told me, but I think it would be shocking even to some pretty jaded men.
I mean, I couldn't imagine any man spending an evening with her, without thinking "this woman is batsh*t crazy."
I called the agency, not so much to complain, but to tell them that one of their female clients was in urgent need of care. The answer was, "she's met a number of other men before, we never had any complaints."
Durak,, it was quite the scene! It started as a date, turned into baby sitting, then almost into a survival scenario! I didn’t know what to do with her, the thought of hoisting her over my shoulder and carrying her back to my hotel crossed my mind. But I didn’t know how the club’s bouncers would react,, or the hotel staff. Plus, I was only 50%, still weak from my abscessed tooth and swollen jaw. I had the tooth pulled in Odessa, and took really strong antibiotics for 5 or 6 days. They were burning a hole in my stomach after the 2nd day For 8 days I ordered from room service, because I could not open my mouth enough to eat with utensils, and had to push food in my mouth with my fingers. Most likely improper etiquette for the London Hotel.
She made a real scene inside the club, falling on a table, then on a guy sitting down. I held her up for most of the night,,, the few times I let go she fell over. I helped her to the bathroom several times,,, once was for 30 mins I sent one of the coat check ladies in to see if she was okay. She also had both of our coat tags on her,,,, I couldn’t leave without my jacket, passport and second wallet were in my pockets.
Her mind was not in too bad of shape,, but her body was like an over cooked noodle! I tried to get her to drink sprite, and no more alcohol,,, she kept ordering more drinks. I was worried she would cause an even bigger scene if I cut her off.
A couple high school age boys were in the club,, they were making obscene gestures about her,,, as if I should be getting a BJ from her. I waved my finger at them in a No kind of way and shook my head no. I couldn’t just leave her there alone, and I have never abandoned a date before,,,, even when I really wanted to.
The worst scene was when she was laying on the floor, shouting at the bouncer to let her back in,,, throwing money at him as a bribe. That was my money.
I couldn’t throw her into a taxi either, she was totally defenseless, and it was after 2:30am. I left her with a friend, but I still feel as if I abandoned her.
I still feel bad for what she had to go through,,, guys just using her,,, perhaps at her agencies request. The next day when I went to her agency, I told them that I had left her with a friend,,,,, perhaps a boyfriend? “A boyfriend,,,, they aren’t allowed boyfriends“!!! She was off of the site before I had internet the next day! I later found her on another site,,,, she acted as if nothing happened??? Perhaps the translator didn’t know about that night?
I was pissed at the time, because I wasn’t there for fun and games,,, just to meet the women I had wrote to.
You now know why I get a little testy, when guys brag about how they used the girls on dates or on video!
I wish I could have meet this girl long before she joined an agency. Before the trauma and shame she had to endure.
I never believed the agency stories about the men drinking so much and that the women were so aghast at it; especially when you factor the genetic component of alcoholism into the equation. Now we have a pair of stories where the only thing missing from these fish are the gills.
Here's a tip for the newbies: this international dating thing is just like dating at home--you have all the red flags to look for plus you're dealing with a different culture, language, etc. Don't rush into anything just because she's a pretty face.
Batman,, the agencies and websites have to give us men, a plausible explanation for having thousands of women wanting to leave their homes and families behind. Saying that it’s the men’s fault, helps them in two ways! One,, it’s the men, not the country! If it was the country, then we would all think they are only after visas. Two, it also lets us play hero,, as if we are rescuing them from their abusive men.
The couple of Ukrainian men that I know seem to be great guys. They are happy, their wives are happy, and so are their children. They might admit that Ukraine has problems, but their attitude is; Yeah, we have problems,,, but what can you do about it???
The people that seem to strive for a more western style of living,,, the movers and the shakers, are doing fine! They are also the ones to look out for. The people who are working at the markets, or at the factories,,, the same place their mother and/or father work at,,, may not be doing so well.
lonely, i wouldn't feel for her, shes her own person, bloody mental alcoholic one at that.
alcoholics have a certain way and manner and she fits that bill dont you think?
i'm thinking how my associates act,, its very familiar how she stood up asking if you are serious then swallowing another, or am i presuming to easily.
yes batman, their drinking is pathetic, why would any man drink with food to start with???
my 9 year old son pulls down a beer faster then they at the best of times.
actually their whole system of getting a descent amount of booze is shabby for any drinker, haven't they heard of bloody boxes??
carrying bottles in a plastic bags is just a cheap limited budget booze up in any carry on.
after these stupid plastic bags i new they just didnt drink like down under.
what an embarrassment for there alcoholics when such advertising of lavendish drinkys is rife around the world.
i'm still mystified how they get a decent volume home just for one night let alone the thought of a weekend..
actually lonely you should thank all the gods including Allah,, its possible you ducked a real bullet there with that phone call,, a disease you cannot take a pill for..
your story shows others good reason why people need to always have full control of there gear like that little cloak ticket, so if you need to move on quickly ya can.
Durak & Batman,, I too wonder why she drank so much. I’ve thought perhaps she didn’t drink often,,, and the alcohol sneaked up on her. But she had a favorite drink,,, something green with what she called; “grass” in it?? It tasted very bitter, and clashed with my Screwdriver. When we kissed, she kept saying that I tasted sweet. I always carry breathe mints on me,,, but that made it worse!
She was most likely nervous about having a serious man for the first time. I also think, that being in that club might have had something to do with it. You had to pay to get in,,, perhaps something she was unable to do on her own?
I wrote to her on another website,, but she wasn’t serious about anything. I don’t believe I had ever wrote to or received a letter from her,,, only an agency letter. I did have her email address, but that was the same story too??! I have pondered the possibility,,, that “she“,, her photos, letters, email letters, and even face book profile, are completely managed or controlled by an agency, or some other person or entity! Or,,, she does have a screw loose.
Before my last trip, she had re-started her fb profile and I contacted her. She was happy to hear from me again??! Knowing or realizing that my trip to Sumy was going to be short,, and not expecting my ex in Kiev to send a reply to my email,,, which she did,,, I asked this girl to go on a vacation to some nice place with me?! Her answer; I would meet you in any city!! You were nice to me!!
I told her; that I work all year long, and my trips to Ukraine take away from my personal vacation time. I wanted to go somewhere nice where we could both be pampered. I suggested Truskavets or Yalta?! Her answer,,,,, Why don’t you want to arrive in Nikolaev??? I then said,, I want to go somewhere away from your work,,, so we will have all of the time to ourselves! In her next reply, she talked about needing money for something,, and I told her; If you are worried about missing income from work,,, I can compensate you for the lost income!! Her reply to that was; You are scaring me! I then wrote; Do you have me confused with somebody else?? Why am I scaring you??? I will let you decide how close we will become. One room or two rooms,,, one bed or two beds,, it is up to you!! I just want to spend my time with someone I know! Her next and final reply; You are not coming here for me, you are not a nice person!
I had given her an opportunity to have an all expense paid vacation,, giving her the right to make any personal choices!
I think I was supposed to throw money at her. In her correspondence, she had asked for money twice, and I never gave her any.
While heading back to Kiev and away from Sumy, I sent the girl a text! “I have 10 days and 5,000USD in Kiev, and nothing to do! Don’t you wish you were here???” I can’t be sure if she received the text, since I did not get a reply. And it didn’t matter anyway,,, I spent 9 of those 10 days sick,,, plus 2 weeks at home! It was the worst cold or flu I have ever had. 50% of the people in Ukraine were coughing on that trip. The 2012 trip.
Kiwi,,, I just posted my last letter, then read your’s. He he hehe,,,, were you there???
She was a bad drunk, because she was so lean!! Bone and muscle,, washboard abs?!! And I know this because she was topless while I was on the phone, I left that part out before. Giving her a massage would have felt strange.
I do still feel for her, because I don’t know what happened to her, and made her become that way. She was 100% opposite of her profile!!!! All of the women on that trip, and each one after were 100% opposite. It makes no sense for me to even start a search or a correspondence anymore, a total waste of time.
Now,, for something you can’t take a pill for??! Lol No,,, don’t everybody get excited!!
I was in bad shape before Nikolaev. Cut a hotdog bun in half the long way,,, and place it under your jawbone,,, that’s the way I looked in Odessa. That thing that hangs down in the back of your mouth,, between your tonsils,,, mine was pointed at the 4:00 position! I woke up several times in the night,, gasping for air!!
The dentist had to work with only a 1 cm opening in my mouth, and cut the tooth into several pieces,,, he couldn’t just pull it out. He worked for over an hour. When he was done, he put 2 stitches over the hole to close it,,,,, that’s not proper procedure! You want it to drain out quickly! Besides the antibiotics, I was also to mix iodine and salt with warm water and rinse that area, and see him in 5 days. He okayed me during that visit because the hole had closed and I no longer had any infection. I extended my departure flight by 4 days, and went on to Nikolaev- Odessa- Lugansk-Kiev.! Total trip was 22 days.
A week or two after arriving home, I started to get swelling again in my gum and jaw, the infection came back!! I did all of the home treatments for it, gargled with Listerine or warm salt water. I noticed a sharp edge on the inside of the gum,,, it kept getting closer to the surface and finally came out. It was a chip of bone or tooth! A few days later I was fine again,,,,,,,,, lol,,, or so I thought?!!
A few days later,,,,, again,,,,, I came into the house for the night,,,, and started to feel bad. It felt like something moving through my body,,, almost like in a Sci-fi movie. In five minutes time I had a 104F fever. I also started to feel some discomfort in my lower stomach. Now,,, I have never caught anything,,, you know what I mean,,,, but I do know what to look for,,, and this was not it!! I had a HS shop teacher who was in Nam and he told the most awful stories,,, soldiers with green underwear,,, etc, etc, shouting in pain when they went,,, this was not that! I would go,,,,, everything is fine,,,,,, then ouch?? This I went to the doctor for!!!
He asked me questions,,, pushed here and there to see where it hurt, and asked me to fill a sample cup. Five minutes later the test came back and I did have an infection. It could have been in three places, but the cure was the same, so he did not do any further testing.
I told him about my ordeal,, and how I thought this infection came from my jaw? He said; these infections usually come from the bottom up,,, not from the top down,,, but it’s not impossible. He then asked me where this all took place?? I told him; In Ukraine!!,,,,,,,,, I think I’ll run some more tests!!! I burst out laughing!! I told him that nothing happened, but I did drink off her glass,, and she did have her tongue down my throat. He then said:, I’ll run tests for everything this antibiotic won’t cure!! (Cipporil?)
About a week later, while working with our work crew, the doctor called me personally with the results,,,, unfortunately,,, I accidentally turned on the loudspeaker on my cell phone when he said; The test results came back negative!!! I forgot what I told the crew!
When I travel,,, I plan for everything. You know those utility kits you put your tooth brush-paste, soap, meds, etc,,,, I bring along 3 of them!!! The 3rd one I put in the checked in luggage,,,, I don’t want to be standing along side of it when they search it. I call it the “Party Pack” !! A fully stocked protection package!! Don’t leave home without it!!!!
Of course, in a culture where alcoholism is epidemic, women participate too. I made two meetings with a woman (a mother, at that) who surprised me with her volume & urgency of drinking, and was only friendly/cheerful when at least two sheets to the wind. I've known enough alcoholics to recognize problem drinking when I see it.
On a suburban train to Moscow, the car I was riding in received a small group of sh*t-faced passengers, including a woman who smelled so bad that several passengers moved a few rows to get away from her.
But there is a real gender gap, when it comes to alcoholism and other kinds of substance abuse in the FSU. I believe this is one reason why there is such a big gender gap in mortality. In industrialized countries, women live longer than men, but in Russia and Ukraine the difference is extreme. A Ukrainian study on public health issues claimed that 40% of male deaths in Ukraine have alcohol as a contributing cause - wow!
So my take away is, men really are drinking a lot worse. But at the same time, there are many alcoholic women, so be on the lookout!
Durak,, we had talked about children from older fathers on another thread,,,, but I couldn't find it and got tired of looking, so I posted this here. Just to let everyone know, that I don't make this stuff up.