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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > Need Advice from ones who have been scammed Author Post Tom Shea Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 9/27/2012 5:12:52 AM   Ok so I've been dating this woman from Kharkov. . I've spoken with her for about 1.5 years, spent 2 weeks with her on two different occasions and she is supposed to be coming back here in the spring. She has removed her profile and I've meet her family. Her family even send me presents on special days. Her apartment was given to her in her divorce yet she hasn't got it transferred into her name. Now she had been working on it for over a month but her husband forgets documents when he comes to town...one thing after the other... Today she writes work is slow and she knows for the next 2 months I'm kind of broke thanks to support payments and my job slowing down so she's thinking about taking another part time job in a very seedy part of town to make ends meet. I do need to say she has always been amazingly honest in every example I could check. Here's the question. Am I getting set up to be scammed? I think about her apartment not being transferred might be a good reason to not be able to come. How much money does the average Ukraine woman make $300 / mo? If she needs just a couple hundred it's no big deal. Even if it was a scan, that's cheap. I have never doubted her on anything before but the way she put it " is part time in a dangerous part of town, but i know you have money problems now too" just struck me odd Paranoia or red flash, you decide. Also I will be there next week staying in her flat with her and her daughter. durak Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 9/28/2012 1:44:07 AM   It's always a possibility, and I think you are reasonable to wonder about it. The ironclad rule is, "never send money to someone you haven't met." Obviously, you have a lot of history with this woman. It seems to me that the big question is, do you trust your own judgment of her character? There's no way to eliminate all risk. To get somewhere, we've got to take chances. lonelyranger1701 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 9/28/2012 3:06:20 AM   I remember from years ago,,, someone told me: “that these girls wouldn’t write for months or years just for a chance to go on a shopping spree!!”,,, perhaps not spelled (in)accurately?! Lol Danny is just as wrong today as he was back then!!! Tom,, most of these girls are professionals,,, keep being skeptical,,,,, but don’t push her away with your doubt!! Her mentioning, that she needs to take another job,, and in a dangerous part of town is not a good sign! She could be playing on your sympathy,,, hoping for you to come to her rescue??! Her removing her profile is a good sign,,, but have you checked for her on other websites?? I know a girl who was on at least 47 websites!! I got tired of looking,,, she could have been on more than 47?! This girl also had a boyfriend during that time,, and our interpreter is on a scammer watch list!! I know several girls who only made 300USD a month! One of them is currently without a job. She also let me know that in a letter??! Go East Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 9/28/2012 3:48:02 AM   I would be more concerned about the ex still having skin in the game via those documents. From what you describe I'd give her the benefit of the doubt... but I'd put an expiry date and tight limits on the assistance you offer. If she quibbles I'd be suspicious.....and I'd leverage your kind gesture to get that ex out of the picture completely. If she continues to drag chain I'd be suspicious RodanTsunami Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 9/28/2012 7:49:20 PM   Estate issues are verrrrry slooooow to finalize. If someone is dragging their feet, good luck. Rick4girl Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 9/29/2012 12:17:12 AM   Hi Tom, it could go either way. she could be a good player or simply wanting to know if you are going to step up to the plate and show her you are going to be her knight. Ukrainian women expect to be taken care of. As you are a western man, they will expect even more than they do of the ones they can find locally, which usually isnt much,lol As you have already spent time in her apartment, you probably know that she expects you to pitch in on the daily things. Many in her situation wont directly ask you to help out financially but will be put off if you dont. My girl has a debit card from my US bank which she used to use alot until I helped her start her own business. Now she only uses it for unexpected things like when her laptop screen took a dump or when she got a new apartment a couple months ago. I would consider giving your girl one with spending limits on it and see how she does. A sincere girl will only use it for important things that she really needs. finally, owning an apartment is a big deal when it comes to getting short term visas to the US, well and a stable job, etc. I wish you and everyone here success. Use your head and dont be stupid is the best advice anyone here can receive. If you wouldnt do it for a girl in your own country, why do it for someone living 4500 miles away wineman Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 9/29/2012 8:40:31 PM   I would never give a lady a single cent or kopeck until I was married to her. Period. Yes, I would pay for the dates, give her and her child small, thoughtful presents, buy her flowers, pay for the food at the grocery store and pizza carryout when I stay with her, give her parents gifts at holidays and when invited to their home, but I would never give her cash, in any amount, or for any reason. You say, "Even if it was a scam, that's cheap." If it was a scam, that means she is a scammer; are you going to want to continue to date and eventually marry a scammer? So that means you have spent a year and a half of your life with a scammer. I don't consider that cheap, by any means. Time is money. Time is your most precious commodity. I just happen to see things differently, and I'm not criticizing you or anyone else in any way. blu_craze Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 9/30/2012 12:39:23 AM   You could very well be getting scammed but not in the traditional sense. But my hunch says you are not. You met her, probably able to judge her character. Besides you have not stated that she asked for any money and assuming that it is her hidden intent by saying she will have to take a second job in a bad part of town? Maybe that is the only place she knows for sure that she has a job lined up guaranteed. If she is talking to you and knows you do not have much money at the moment I think your safe. Samgaf Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 9/30/2012 12:36:19 PM   Hey Tom,your friend got a mate lonelyranger1701 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 9/30/2012 11:45:22 PM   “Lonely do you have to spoil my fun everyday” Fun?? I guess this is just a big laugh for you? “ I try to give a positive post but you ruin it . “ No,,, you didn’t try to give a positive post!! You gave disinformation!! Tom’s girl might be a good one,,, but most of the time, it will be a scammer doing a good job of acting! “Sound all really good. Just go along with it and you can take my word on it ... Everything will work out” Just go along with it???? (disinformation) You want everybody to get scammed don’t you??? And why is that,,,, because you have only been scammed!! Misery loves company???? Danny/dunt/piece of shxt! stevc Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/1/2012 10:06:18 AM   I tried to not believe woman I wanted was scammer I came up with many solutions in my mind, to believe she was not. In the end she and her agency were nothing but scammers/ Some of these ladys are trained. be careful. One I am with now is great. Asks for no money has good job , we just talk and have fun, Just like a normal relationship. She is not from Ukraine stevc Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/1/2012 10:06:53 AM   I tried to not believe woman I wanted was scammer I came up with many solutions in my mind, to believe she was not. In the end she and her agency were nothing but scammers/ Some of these ladys are trained. be careful. One I am with now is great. Asks for no money has good job , we just talk and have fun, Just like a normal relationship. She is not from Ukraine ragingbull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/2/2012 6:59:28 PM   "I think it will be fine for him I can't see a single problem you negative American prick" Before you complain about anyone being negative, first look at yourself. Tom Shea Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/8/2012 4:24:03 AM   Ok thanks here's the update. Went over, came back. Told her about details of a pre nup. All property in my name stays mine. All things designated retirement accounts remain mine (even future contributions) met her parents again, asked dad to marry his daughter. Dad says yes. She is hurt about prenup. She says she needs time. She gets time to think. She says ok, cool once i explain if we are together it means nothing. Going back in a few weeks. Honestly every single thing she has ever said to me has been completely true, not even shaded. I think im looking for boogy men as a result of this site, but I dont want to f up. Did that with an american woman the first time. Will scammers hang on that long with no pay offf(getting close to 2 years of writing every day?). Btw money problems were sorted out, never sent a dime. Thanks lonelyranger1701 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/8/2012 6:59:36 PM   Tom,, everything sounds okay but it is wise to watch out for any problems. You are in the best position there is,,,, if you were to completely trust her (blindly),, you could end up being scammed?! You don’t have much choice other than going forward,,,,, if you were to split up and look for someone else,,, it could take years to get back to where you are today,,,, and then you would still have the same worries. Think of it as,,,,, walking the pink mile?! Go East Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/8/2012 9:28:12 PM   sounds like a great result Tom. Happy days dude((( That prenup's tough enough to make me cry...damn!! lonelyranger1701 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/9/2012 11:49:12 AM   Good luck Tom!! Feel free to PM me again if you need another persons opinion! I'm glad I could help!! I'll be away for a week, but the outfitter had wifi the last three years,,, he should have it again. Rick4girl Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/9/2012 9:00:44 PM   No offense to Tom as Im speaking generally but some will think Im slamming them with this, but here goes... Im STILL trying to figure out why some guys here are so tight-fisted, thinking if they spend a buck they are getting scammed. No girl in Ukraine is going to give much regard to a man "who is always counting his money" And if you dont understand what this means then you shouldn't be going overseas to find a wife. They DONT want to come to your country to struggle, they can do that just fine where they are. You dont even talk about money until its time to make serious plans with a girl you are in a committed relationship with thats ACTUALLY coming to marry you. Tom Shea Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/11/2012 8:03:42 AM   A new twist. I looked all over dating sites for her, couldn't see her profile anywhere UNTIL I tried anastasiaweb. There she was sure as hell. Now i have heard stories that they never take a womans profile off of there, and how married women, move to the US and are still on there. I'm not too upset about this but it's just another "thing" that bothers me. So what do I do? Write her there? See if she writes back? Does Anastasia write meters for the women, I mean might they not even tell her and just write me. This sucks. I'm done getting scammed... Now on the same side, her parents are well paid and honorable people. She has introduced me to them and her child has seem me ask her to marry me. Write to bring some other guy by now would make her look really bad. This sucks GeminiDreams Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/11/2012 8:30:13 AM   Sometimes you cant help but laugh at advice given here. The same people who wouldnt give the lady a cent are the same people who are quite happy to give people money for serving them food and drink in a restaurant but quibble about flicking a prospective wife a couple of hundred who is going to be your bedmate and serve you food and drinks for nothing. If she keeps asking for money without providing exceptional reasons then start to worry. If you get profound thanks and no more demands you just worked out she is of good character in a much cheaper way than travelling thousands of kilometers. The reason the cheapskates here are sad and lonely is that they are cheapskates! 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