Hello buddies. My 3 year dating, which was about to convert into a marriage this year, has ended. She is very sweet, pretty, honest and kind. She is one of the best persons I ever met. I never did any harm to her and maybe I even was too good. Our relationship had everything you need for a good romantic movie - long courting, many nights in different and often strange places… It was a very intimate and close relationship. Then the movie ended and the life began. I am still thinking why it did not work out.
I have some conclusions though. And I’m interested whether I am right or not:
- there is no any rule. All that crap about being good to her, making her wishes come true, being a conquer, being a gentleman, etc. does not work. You do need to love, protect and support your woman, but you should not be a pussy. When you buy her flowers every week she is not happy. But when you buy her flowers once a year she is on havens.
- if it does not work out on the third date then it isn’t worth it. I courted her for a few months. We would date regularly, almost every day, but she would say “we are not dating”. She had turned me down 3 times before finely she agreed to “really” date with me. Did she appreciate my efforts? I do not think so. I was the one who understood what it cost me to “win” her. Although she liked the fact I was persistent I doubt she ever understood what it meant to me. I’ll never do this mistake again.
- strong relationship and marriage is all about commitment and conceding. I still think so (maybe I need another bitter lesson to change my mind). But you should have principle positions in some aspects. Once you give up on them you’ll never gain your territory back again.
- do not take important actions first. Do not introduce her to your friends until she introduces you to hers. Do not move to another apartment and wait until she moves to you (either she moves first or you move simultaneously).
- do not spend your money first. It is ok to help her if she is in need. But she earns money too so may she buy stuff for herself with her own money.
- do not make promises like “I’ll never hurt you, never cheat on you, etc.”. From the moment she understands you’ll keep these promises she will use them against you. Never ever hurt her or cheat on her. But may she not be so confident in this.
Could someone add another advice for me?
P.S. I think it is important to notice that all the “rules” I mentioned above are not the guideline to women. Women should use the same rules if they want their men to be with them. I also assume that there are couples who do not need to play all those games and they are happy, live long lives together. But I tried, failed and do not have time for another fail.
Dude, she had no interest in you initially and most likely was just keeping you around until the right guy came alone. A woman is not obligated to like you because you're "nice" to her. She made it clear from the start and you chose to ignore reality. Maybe next time you should date someone who is into you and is actually serious. And don't suck so that she doesn't change her mind.
I'm a woman
in my view
this is not your half
If you are not conquered
it will not be your
this is when
a man in a woman sees a goddess
woman in a man of God
together they have common plans and aspirations
a man and a woman can have different professions
's aspirations and desires
when feelings are real
in these respects, there is no place to play
These relations are clean
and there is no competition for anyone who create one more
relationships are built on a sincere desire to give flowers
and female-to-male and
man to woman
to respect and love each other
forgive and let go of the woman
I wish you to quickly find your half