I shot an arrow into the air...

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durak

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	Send: 9/2/2013 12:29:15 AM

... it fell to earth, I know not where. Those faithful readers of this forum, who have been patient enough to read my posts over the years, have a fair idea of what sort of old fool I am. In keeping with my tradition, I've been trying -- in my clumsy way -- to court a woman who gives me only the faintest encouragement (if she has encouraged me at all). I've done my best to be clear about my intentions and feelings, so at least I can have confidence that she knows what I'm after. Until now, all our togetherness has taken the form of brief visits of a sociable nature, in the nearest city to where she lives (around the time I started getting to know her, she relocated to her parents's village home). Things have reached the point, where it's necessary for me either to move up, or move on. Today, I wrote to her (in both my language, and hers), expressing my wish to visit for a few days in her village. In a way, it's a small thing -- as I say, she has encouraged me so little. Even so, she is rather Something Special ... and she and her child have been in my thoughts every day for more than a year. It took me a long time to write the letter; of course, it's always slow for me to write in Russian, but I also wanted to get the the heart of the matter. Well, now I will know within a few days, unlike Longfellow, whose arrow he found "long, long afterward." Will I, like he, again find my song "in the heart of a friend?"

lonelyranger1701

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	Send: 9/2/2013 1:58:05 AM

Durak,,, if you are going to act, it is probably better to act sooner rather than later. The last girl I met in 2009, has been in my heart every day since I met her. For several years now I have decided to do nothing about it. I’m making great progress,,,,,, nothing continues to happen!

Tom Shea

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	Send: 9/2/2013 1:23:36 PM

What's up with you guys? I'm being serious, why would you chase a women who clearly was not as into her as you were to her durak? Shit now i could load a profile right here and in 20 days have 5 great women waiting to meet me. In my experience its purely a numbers game. Met 100 of them and you will like 5. One well be redicuously wonderful. If my deal feel thru today in one year and 3 troops is have another wonderful lady. Heres one of the texts I wakeup to every day My love!I got your the big letter! thank you,my hun!I`m very busy today,but I think about you every minute)good day for you!xx (actual text from this morning) Why torture yourself and settle for a womab who doesn't really care? And ranger, what the hell 2009? What's stopping you? I was worried too then told her about the prenup. Its even including if she goes on social assistance she owes me the money back! Dude you gotta do something or just sit here forever Telling about how impossible it is to find a good woman?

lonelyranger1701

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	Send: 9/3/2013 10:29:47 PM

Tom,,,,, I meant the last girl I met on the 2009 trip,,,, not that 2009 was my last trip. Jan 2012 was the last trip,,,, and the clincher for me was the dishonestly of the women I met from THIS SITE during my last two trips. Tom,,,, I even told you about some of it!! I don’t have any desire or ambition to restart my search,,,, Sumy was the last straw for me!! Maybe I’ll change my mind some time in the future,,,, maybe I won’t?

Rick4girl

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	Send: 9/5/2013 10:25:33 PM

PM me durak and i will give my Ukrainian number. Im in "the Krane" till october 18

kiwinorth

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	Send: 9/6/2013 6:18:36 PM

you write good Durak, rather jealous of that:) so i'm sure that letter would be something. often a man will ponder, take time to understand how precious certain things are, what they are. why we do this i dont know,, but its better to be sure then then just to do, to blunder into oblivion. if its to be....

durak

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	Send: 9/16/2013 5:09:08 AM

Kiwi, thanks for the kind words, and your thoughtful contributions to the forum. It took such a long time, but I finally received her "Dear Ivan" letter. This is no surprise; by this time, I was expecting the answer would be 'no'. It's a bit of a relief for me, not to be in suspense any longer. I've been thinking about her, and her little daughter, every day for more than a year now. As it sinks in, I expect some teardrops here and there. Onward...

lonelyranger1701

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	Send: 9/17/2013 1:03:33 AM

Durak,,, is this the same mother and daughter that came to the US.?

durak

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	Send: 9/17/2013 3:15:01 AM

@lonely: Thanks for asking ... no, that woman who was recently in the US has her own love interest; she and I are friends. Anyway, she would be mighty young for me. My age difference with the woman who just sent her polite "not interested" is a lot more reasonable. That is one of several reasons I saw possibilities that we might make a good combination. Ironically, I felt (and feel) much closer to the younger woman -- we understand each other well, and made our acquaintance without my feeling the pressures of courtship. The woman I was pursuing was less open (or perhaps better to say, more reserved).

beemer18

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	Send: 9/18/2013 8:27:02 PM

" The woman I was pursuing was less open (or perhaps better to say, more reserved)." From my experiences, you can hardly tell much about a women from one vantage point. Let me explain. A guy I met in Kiev, we both were here (forum), was to meet a girl from fiancé. We both were writing her but we did not know each other was. He met her first, over lunch, and did not have a good word about her, too quiet, reserved, not interesting, said very little. In her profile said '3' in english skills I thought to myself( my friend did not know I was to meet her too), should I even bother. To meet this girl it cost $20, introduction fee of agency. I said what the hell, I went for it. Lo and behold, she was pleasant with me. Her English was very good, we had music interests in common, spoke about travel alot, she wanted to hear my stories. The lunch date turned into a dinner. Moral of the story....girl was not interested in my friend but was interested in me. Durak, could it be you make excuses for a women's behavior??? Just a shot in the dark...

lonelyranger1701

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	Send: 9/21/2013 3:31:48 AM

Think about this,,,, two guys from this forum that know each other,,, come upon each other in the same city,, perhaps the same hotel,, to meet the same girl??? If only Spock were here to give us the odds?!! I have often thought,,, that we SERIOUSLY underestimate the number of men traveling to the FSU,,, mostly Ukraine. This is a business for 99% of the women on these dating sites,,,,, and nothing more. Beemer,,, it’s great that you had a nice evening with that girl,,,, but can you not see the deception?? She spoke very good English with you,,,, so why not with the 1st guy?? Anyone who has been on dates over there, knows full well how having a common language makes the dates go more smoothly. Even if she didn’t like the 1st guy,,, that is no reason for her not to speak English. It’s my guess, that the outcome of that meeting (1st) was determined before they ever met! Twenty dollars seems to be a trivial amount of money,,, hardly worth bothering with,,, and certainly not enough to let a guy travel from where ever he was from?? There is also the meal, interpreter for the 1st guy perhaps,,, and maybe a gift and taxi money. They would never lure a guy to Ukraine for such a pittance,,,, or would they??? Yes they would,,,, and did for 90USD and two meals twice! Kherson 2010

beemer18

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	Send: 9/21/2013 10:21:31 AM

Lonely....I don't see the deception. A girls interest in a guy determines the outcome of any meeting. In my example, she spoke very little to my friend....how does he determine how well she speaks English? BTW, We had both planned on our trips separately, just coincidence we were to be in Kiev at same time for a couple days. Also coincidence we spoke to same girl...maybe we have same taste in women( she was gorgeous)!! IMHO, the outcome of any meeting is determined when they meet face to face and furthered after spending some time together. True. $20 is nothing but after hearing about the girl, I wondered if wasting an afternoon was worth it. I did think maybe girl was coerced by agency to meet with men for some $$$.

lonelyranger1701

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	Send: 9/21/2013 11:40:46 AM

I realize that it was a coincidence, if you both planned your trip together then it wouldn’t be. The more men these women meet,,, greater are the chances of these little coincidences happening. It’s a big planet,,, billions of people,,,, and two friends travel around the world to see the same girl at the same time?? What are the odds?? How well does she speak English?? She spoke well enough with you to have an enjoyable time,,,,, so why didn’t she try with the 1st guy?? She fulfilled her agency obligations with the first guy,,, served her time and went home. You did write: “I did think maybe girl was coerced by agency to meet with men for some $$$. “ Well there you go!! Maybe she never wanted to meet this other man,,, but her agency made her?? That’s why I wrote: “It’s my guess, that the outcome of that meeting (1st) was determined before they ever met! “ Just how well is a date that you don’t want to be on going to go?? I think the 1st guy’s description of their date is probably accurate. And another thing,,,, you and the 1st guy didn’t know you were both meeting the same girl,,,, but the girl and the agency knew at least two guys were in town to meet this same girl, at the same time. Another day in the life of an agency and their girls!!!

beemer18

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	Send: 9/21/2013 1:56:28 PM

Let me correct you a bit Lonely, your making assumptions now. The meetings were not made ahead of time. It was more like I'm in town, I'll call, maybe we meet. Of course, it was agency that you were calling to set up meeting. I had number from this agency because I knew another girl. My meeting was last minute. As far as your assertion, “It’s my guess, that the outcome of that meeting (1st) was determined before they ever met! “ When I asked girl about a guy she met before( my friend) she said she didn't feel comfortable and was not attracted at all. Now I mentioned to you about maybe girl meeting guys for $$$ for agency...I think that anytime you pay to meet a girl, any girl. Anyways this is getting out of hand....having nothing to due with shooting an arrow into the air!!!

lonelyranger1701

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	Send: 9/22/2013 3:46:48 AM

Beemer,,, there is no need to get defensive, I don’t think either of you did anything wrong. Whether or not the plans were made ahead of time doesn’t matter much. Because your visit and request to meet her were out of the blue,,, the agency didn’t have time to pick a more convenient day and time. The point I’m trying to make is,,,, just how many men do these girls have two write to,,, to get guys showing up two at a time?? And yes I know,,,, she could have gone days or weeks or even months for her next date. I’ve had a date with a girl, who showed up more than three hours late. I knew what direction their homes were,,, and this one time when they were late,,, they both came from the same direction. I said nothing during the date,,,, but after I asked the interpreter about it, and flat out asked; Did she have another date before me?? Her face turned red. I called that interpreter the following year,,,, and she told me that she had quit the business,,,, too much deception. Shooting an arrow into the air,, means taking a chance or gamble. You and the 1st guy did that. How long each of you wrote to this girl is a factor too. If it was only a short correspondence, then the girl was well within her rights to turn him away quickly. But if they wrote for a long time,,,, shared everything,,, then it was plain rude and very cold. I shared everything with this one girl who I had wrote to for a very long time,,, I sent every photo I had,,, even a couple from the beach (more rare than a Bigfoot sighting) she told me that I was “marvelous”?!! When they stepped out of the taxi, she stood behind the interp to hide??? WTF? She didn’t want to be there,,,, she didn’t know much about me,,,, the date didn’t go well! In hindsight,,, it’s no big surprise,,, she had a local boyfriend for several years before we met.

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