What are some of the misconceptions you have found when visiting fsu women? I personally had no clue what to expect when I started about 6 years ago.One problem we had early on was communication, some thing just do not translate very well.
Communication is a problem at all levels,,, website/agency, email, phone and in person.
There also seems to be a dislike for answering questions. The girls act as if a guy doesn’t trust them,,, and don’t realize that he is asking questions because he is interested in her and wants to know her better.
1. How serious I am about this relatio
2. Marriage within 6 months.
3. Roles, who is incharge...
4. Stay home with kids while I go out wih my friends...never , no way...
I emphatically second lonely. This isn't the norm in my experience, but did happen on a couple of occasions.
I asked a mother (by email) a couple of routine practical questions, including "are you legally able to move your son to another country?" This is absolutely important, see the new thread titled "Ex-husband putting a stop to everything". If this isn't legally possible, then it's game over. She responded to these straightforward questions (which I tried to phrase as simply and neutrally as I could) by writing about the distrust and suspicion toward women in her part of the world. After a couple of rounds of this, I gave up. She never actually answered the questions! As I recall, her English was weak to middling.
There was another woman who, in a way, was the "best" correspondent I ever had -- her letters were long with lots of serious information and serious questions, of the kind that make absolute sense if someone is really intent on starting a new life with a new man. I have to say, she is the ONLY contact I ever had who wrote such down-to-business letters -- and, she's as cute as a button. As impressed as I was by her correspondence, I didn't want to continue it very long -- I wanted to meet before many months passed. In order to make it practical to move beyond letters, I asked for her telephone number in at least 3 or 4 different messages. I never got either her number, or any acknowledgement like "not ready to give you my phone yet." Again, I gave up. Again, her English was weak, and (as I remember it) some friend or relative was helping her with translation. By the time I gave up, I was wondering about this woman's intentions -- but a year or so later, there was her photo with her new husband as a success story for the website.
The greatest misconception I see is the beautiful ladies are ready to get married and are comfortable with getting married with you even though they have not met you. This premise is perpetuated by the marriage agencies especially in their initial letters. Newbies fall for it. Although a vast majority is ready to get married, this is far from a done deal, even though you are a nice guy and you have visited.
I don't think many girls think about all implications of leaving their country, only the thought of finding second half and building a strong family.
Durak, did you ever think of sending one of these girls a good translated letter in Russian for important questions? There is so much that can be lost in translation.
Too much energy is wasted on trying to verify girl, questions asked with suspicion.
I like the saying, 'He who looks for scammers will certainly find them'.
Caution and careful are my favorite words used in this journey!!!
I find it interesting all the different views on the subject. I have found there are some basics that are the same all over the world, the rest is based on nassesaty or culture.
In the experiences I related, I didn't suspect the ladies of being scammers, and was not in any way motivated by suspicion of their sincerity.
In one case, I was trying to move from letters to meeting.
In the other case, I was trying to find out whether marriage was even feasible. Shocking though it may seem, a fair percentage of women with children haven't paid attention to the problem of taking their child to another country, even very bright women! If she is stuck in her home country, and I'm not prepared to live there, then exchanging letters is useless.
I did not mean to insinuate scammers, only for your letters to be correctly understood. A reason for some questions to be unanswered is not fully understanding them. Sometimes I had to ask several times using different words.
If you are not paying for letters, they are not useless if you are enjoying your company. Who knows where anything will lead....with the biggest obstacle being an actual meeting.
“lonely would you say that's because of culture or distrust? “
Both! It’s also because the agencies control much of what the women do and say. Letters coming from agency girls are most likely written and created by the translator,,, so a lot of the resistance and frustration to answering questions, can come from not knowing any of the answers.
I once asked a girl, if the fireworks factory that both of her parents worked their entire lives at, was once the famous gunpowder factory in her hometown?? I had to ask 3 times.
Durak,, I’d bet that most of those mothers don’t know if they can move or not,,,, because they never planned to in the first place. Shouldn’t the agencies have all of those answers for their women?? The agencies make more money when the women stay ignorant and disconnected,,,,, or at least pretend to be so?!
Durak,, that “Best” correspondent,,, was she from Kherson??
Rb,,, I somewhat agree,, but I believe that very few plan to move and get married.
Beemer,,, “'He who looks for scammers will certainly find them'.”
Yeah,,, but they find you if you don’t look,,, and then it gets expensive!
The problem with agency girls is the competition. They must contact many men to get them to visit. When you visit, you are competing with these men who may never visit. You may be the best of them, but she wants to see the others who promise to visit, but may never.
I was staying in the home of an agency girl. She was on my lap and we were looking at the computer. Her phone rang. I heard the guy on the other line.
"Hello, this is Dave from Australia."
This girl didn't work out. She would not answer my emails until I sent his son a small gift. Then, silence again for several months. But, when I emailed her telling her I was going back to Ukraine, the correspondence started again.
I did not visit her. I only wrote her for back up purposes. After my visit, she wrote me about how broken hearted she was that I didn't.