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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > A woman's perspective on the marriage game. Author Post sunshine123 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/21/2013 2:27:39 PM   My name is Ellen! I am a 27 year old female in Kiev, and I still haven't found the one (just yet). I joined Anastasia (I won't comment on that one, LONG and TROUBLING story) and I joined a local marriage agency in Kiev. One man who was 82 years old (yes, correct) wanted to date me, I said no to the agency and the manager said "Look, go out with him, and we'll pay you." It is so difficult for a woman to get married with all these scam agencies." I have friends who are married, and in relationships who can't get their profiles taken down off sites! It's really sad, and embarrassing to the many good girls who are serious about trying to find a man. I am a lawyer, fluent in English with a five year visa to the USA, and a work VISA to the EU, so I'd like to think about my options. I was very focused on my career at a young age, and didn't get married. The issue with this is a lot of the GREAT guys I knew from school, local neighborhood, friends and all the rest are 99% married off. Don't be fooled, if a guy in Ukraine is a catch he's off the market so fast it will make your head spin. My mother always told me I was making a big mistake not getting married early. I just decided I would take my time. I think I am ready now. It appears their are a lot of experts on this forum, so I am here looking for some serious advice. What steps should I take to find a serious relationship? Anyways, I thought joining this forum would be a good idea, so I will come on here and answer posts, and maybe share with you all a different perspective. I am here to learn, and maybe even give some feedback to anyone who requests it. PROBOWLER900 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/22/2013 11:07:17 AM   Hi Sunshine, Welcome to the forum! You can really help new men who are trying to find their other half with your perspective of what these agencies do. Both good and bad points of what these agencies try to do for both the men and women. As for your situation and the advice you seek, I would advise you to stay away from the agencies as much as possible as it is their business to keep you on their site for as long as possible. Try to be outside of the box in trying to meet men. What do I mean, for example as for my situation I have found my other half by not using the agencies. I started out by using them but like you described in your post the girls were there just to get paid. So after a couple of failed attempts and learning this game I took a different approach and found her using social media. VK and classmates is what I used to find my bride. We have been together 2 and a half years and were married for over a year now. I was even a subject of a magazine article regarding how I found my bride. I was a very lucky man to find my bride this way but it just shows when you have a goal you can always find a way to achieve that goal. Just have to try anything, one of them will lead you to finding that one. I wish you luck in your search. kiwinorth Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/22/2013 4:47:21 PM   welcome sunshine,, your written english is good,,,,, far better then mine. i wonder if that was Durak, the 82 year old? "a sly horse that one" he could be a lot older then hes let on here:) we do realize its just as frustrating for genuine girls trying to connect. somehow the not so serious often seem to get pushed to the front of the line. and i more then often people get confused between the two. in the end its frustrating on all accounts,,,, you only need to read guys experiences on here. no there's no experts here,,, just different peoples take on your world.. i think your mum was wrong in saying about the marriage thing,, it seems to be the Ukrainian way i noticed.. but hey dont tell your mum such was said,, most often them wise shoulders say things for good reason.. you have a 5 year visa to USA, have you been to the US? can you tell how you got such a visa? i think using personal connection sites would be a far better way in your search then any agency. trusting your profile with a agency is risky and basically you are putting yourself in the same playing field as the time wasters and thats how many men will see you. personally i dont trust anything from a agency, they were never a option after checking them out. i used personal dating sites, to me it felt more of a even playing field,,,,,,,,,,,, no third party corruptible twicks to contend with. always wrote for 3-6 months to be sure she was who she was,,, and be sure it felt good.., before a visit. dont be shy in putting your perspective here.. durak Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/23/2013 1:36:53 PM   Elena, Such an interesting post! You are very kind (or at least, diplomatic) to say that there are a lot of experts on this forum. That overstates the case, but we have a few guys who have accumulated some experience, and even learned from it a little. As to advice, probably numerous women in Kyiv could help you more than we can. I agree with the gents above, that simple dating websites are likely to work better for you than agencies. Some of the men here have had good experiences with one or another agency, but in general agencies don't make money by matching up couples for marriage -- they make money by exploiting men and women, so their incentives are all in the wrong place. However, making use of dating websites is neither easy, nor (most of the time) fun. It takes a big investment of time. I have a woman friend in Russia who was active on international dating sites for several years before she gave it up. She told me that 95% of the men are just absolutely unacceptable -- crude, uneducated, elderly, poor, terrible photos, etc. (Disclaimer: though everyone else in her immediate family consists of scientists and mathematicians, she tends to overstate numbers like that.) The point she was making to me is that a regular decent guy should look pretty good, because so much of the competition is of low quality. But from your point of view, this means sifting out a lot of unacceptable men (sad to say, it is not unusual for men to send photos of their genitals). Another challenge is men who write letters but stay firmly at home. Unfortunately, this happens a LOT. I have heard from several women who were obviously bitter about their experiences of long correspondence with men who never showed up. Another Russian friend, a sweet girl whom I like a lot, has been waiting nearly two years now for her American man: they have met and actually spent a fair amount of time together, but he has been too poor to bring her to the USA and provide a place for them to live. Supposedly he is making progress; I hope it works this time... So once you find men who seem like good prospects, you face the question, "are they willing and able to do the hard work and investment, to make a real family life?" After you cross those two bridges, there is a "big question" -- to make an international family needs not only deep affection, but also maturity, stability, reasonable financial success, compassion, a very big sense of humor, and very much patience. If he doesn't have these qualities (and if the woman doesn't have most of them), I think it will be difficult to make success in marriage. I know two women in Kyiv who became discouraged about finding a husband in Ukraine, and are now with men from other countries that belonged to the Soviet Union (Russia on one case, Moldova in the other). These matches have worked well for them. durak Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/23/2013 1:39:02 PM   @kiwi: On my word of honor, I am not 82 years old. But the guy who wanted to meet Ellen MIGHT have been my little brother... ragingbull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/23/2013 3:10:55 PM   I have a 26 year old vk friend. Her profile says she is married, but I don't know if I believe that. She also has a five year visa to the US. It is a working visa. I had the impression that visas to the US from Ukraine were hard to get. Is this changing? ragingbull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/10/2013 10:33:56 AM   I think I found Durak's little brother. http://goo.gl/lAtmrF Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > A woman's perspective on the marriage game.
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