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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > The "Poison Pill" Author Post durak Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/2/2013 2:30:48 AM   I've been corresponding a little with a woman whose profile is very charming. Her letters are quite friendly and cheerful. As yet, we haven't discussed anything serious (I've been swamped with work). Yesterday, I sent her a brief letter to express that I haven't forgotten her, it's just that I've been busy. Today, she wrote that she has a US visa which expires before the end of winter, and asked (with some "wink" emoticons) about our meeting. With a sinking heart, I interpeted this as a somewhat indirect way of asking whether I would pay her way. After ruminating about it for a few hours, I just wrote her a VERY diplomatically worded letter explaining that IF that's what she had in mind, I don't do that, and apologizing in case I misunderstood her. From my understanding and experience, my assessment of the likelihood that she is sincere (in light of her last letter) has fallen nearly to zero. It is a widely shared opinion among the experienced men here, that the "good ones" (who really want to marry, AND are worth marrying) would never make such a request, and indeed would be ashamed to do so. I'll post back here, with any further developments. Sigh. lonelyranger1701 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/2/2013 2:54:27 AM   Unless she made the offer knowing you are too busy to travel to her?? For what reason and how,,, did she already have a US visa? Scorpio1951 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/2/2013 1:24:50 PM   Hello Durak, I have followed the correspondence on this site with great interest. Sometimes I post something. I must tell you, in all candor, that the "I have a U.S. Visa" claim is often a scam to get money. I am not saying your lady is a liar, but you need her to fax a copy of it to you. As you no doubt know, it is not easy for a Ukrainian citizen to get a tourist visa to the U.S. Does she own real estate in Ukraine? Does she have minor children? These are the types of factors the U.S. Government looks for before granting a tourist visa, ie, something that serves to "guarantee" the Ukrainian citizen will return to Ukraine. How do I know all of this? I am an American lawyer, with 35 years of experience. I have also been to Ukraine 5 times. Don't send her any money until you are sure she is legit. If she is, she will gladly prove it. If she is not, she is a scammer. I wish you well, Durak. Sincerely, John Scorpio1951 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/2/2013 1:25:56 PM   Hello Durak, I have followed the correspondence on this site with great interest. Sometimes I post something. I must tell you, in all candor, that the "I have a U.S. Visa" claim is often a scam to get money. I am not saying your lady is a liar, but you need her to fax a copy of it to you. As you no doubt know, it is not easy for a Ukrainian citizen to get a tourist visa to the U.S. Does she own real estate in Ukraine? Does she have minor children? These are the types of factors the U.S. Government looks for before granting a tourist visa, ie, something that serves to "guarantee" the Ukrainian citizen will return to Ukraine. How do I know all of this? I am an American lawyer, with 35 years of experience. I have also been to Ukraine 5 times. Don't send her any money until you are sure she is legit. If she is, she will gladly prove it. If she is not, she is a scammer. I wish you well, Durak. Sincerely, John WIFESEEKER Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/2/2013 5:47:40 PM   durak, That is not very diplomatic if she turns out to be honest. Why did you challenge her about her asking for money when she has not? Why could you not wait and see if she did ask for money? You could have just said "great, keep me informed if you develop your plans" or something like that. Then you strike by telling her "I don't do that" even when she has not asked you. If she is honest, you have hurt her feelings, apologies or no apologies. I am communicating with a lady who gave me a hint that she neeeded a computer. After a few hints, she finally asked me. I said sorry no and that I could not send her any money or costly items until we are near the altar (or after that). Then I told her that if she wanted to seek another man who would take care of her better I would understand. She apologised for asking and we are still in constant communication. The fact that she asked does not necessarily make her a scammer. She was being naive. I said no to her but only after she asked for 'help'. There is a big problem in forums like this with scare-mongers who tell you that just about every FSU woman is a scammer or a time waster. Many men assume that every small 'suspicious' act means the lady is a scammer, then they over-react. RodanTsunami Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/2/2013 9:22:00 PM   Never send money, you'd never see her or the money. Buying passage only opens the question of why she had made the effort to get a visa, it is not a simple thing to acquire. My opinion,,,,, there is no visa, nor is passage the goal, but don't borrow trouble. Just ask her when she is coming and be accepting and positive. I had a woman come to meet me from Russia. Though it did not create a relationship, it was a lot easier for me to "drive the bus" on my own turf,,,,,,,,, so it is possible. lonelyranger1701 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/3/2013 3:17:22 AM   Truth mongers would be far more accurate!! lonelyranger1701 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/3/2013 3:23:03 AM   """apologised"""??? another one of danny's tells!!! (apologized) durak Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/3/2013 4:02:39 AM   Gents, Thanks for taking the time to write your thoughts here. I'll try to clarify a few things: 1. I don't think of her as "my lady". Our total correspondence so far is about the equivalent of 5 minutes' chat with somebody you met at a party. We are that near to being total strangers. I was quite startled, when she wrote to ask me about meeting in my country. 2. Yes, it's quite difficult for people from former Soviet lands to get US visitor visas (she is not from Ukraine). Even so, it happens fairly often, one way or another. I have seen many dating site profiles with photos of the women in the USA. 3. I never send money to a "dating correspondent". 4. I was mindful that she might take offense, by my declaration. I considered waiting for her to state more clearly what's on her mind, or trying to "draw her out" on the subject, and decided that it's better for me not to invest time in a "cat and mouse" game. Though making this move was not in itself diplomatic, I worded my letter in as courteous and gentlemanly way as I could contrive. 5. If it WAS her intention to ask me to "sponsor" her trip, I don't take that as proof that she's a scammer. On the other hand, proposing a meeting when we know virtually nothing about each other, and haven't had any serious discussion about compatibility, life goals, etc., raises strong doubts in my mind. 6. For a woman seeking a "sugar daddy", a message like the one I sent will prompt her to give up and look for more generous guys, which is fine by me. Of course, if she's offended then that also means the end of the correspondence. On the one hand, I don't like to risk hurting someone's feelings. On the other hand, a woman who is not strong, mature, patient and persistent has no chance of making a happy life in a new country: better that I find out now rather than later. She just read my letter, and signed out of the website without replying. Probably, I won't hear from her again. Onward! WIFESEEKER Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/3/2013 5:06:06 AM   durak, I have had ladies who sign out of the website without replying to a message of mine and 5 weeks later they return with a cheerful message telling me they are still interested. lonelyranger1701 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/3/2013 10:36:01 AM   "If it WAS her intention to ask me to "sponsor" her trip, I don't take that as proof that she's a scammer." After only 5 minutes of chat time,,,, hinting about flying over could make her far worse than a scammer!! lonelyranger1701 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/3/2013 10:52:55 AM   I don’t understand why some members like WS keep calling all FSU women scammers or time wasters?! Most of the scammers and time wasters are concentrated in the agencies! Maybe that’s where the phrase “Thick as Thieves” came from?? poppy Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/3/2013 4:31:46 PM   Good luck with the next one buddy WIFESEEKER Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/3/2013 4:31:49 PM   lonely, do you not have a life? why do you not take up a hobby? You post in virtually all threads. You really do not have a life outside this forum and this forum is making your life a misery, added to the way FSU scammers have done it to you. Why do you do it? It is no coincidence that you chose the word lonely as your screen name, don't you see? WIFESEEKER Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/4/2013 6:54:10 PM   durak, I was thinking that if the girl never comes back, you will never know if it was because you hurt her feelings or because she was a scammer. Is she in one of those better sites where scammers eventually get removed? That way you would know. When the profile of a girl I have been in contact with is removed from the site I use, I write and ask if it was her or the site that removed it. If it was the site I ask if it was for misconduct on her part and they usually tell me. Or you could write her a message and ask her if she is coming back to you, and if not, why. It would be useful feed-back if she told you. lonelyranger1701 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/5/2013 12:56:48 PM   Durak: “She just read my letter, and signed out of the website without replying.” Did durak or anyone else say the girl left the website for good??? “Signed out” means logged off for the evening, not that she is gone for good! durak Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/5/2013 1:34:57 PM   @Wifeseeker, I appreciate your thoughtful comments. It's a fact, that if she doesn't reply to me again, I won't know whether it's because she took offense. Probably, I've gotten a bit hard-nosed about these things. I work as an engineer, so I think of it rather like this... She's pretty and young, with a very high age limit for men of interest: I estimate the probability of such a profile being sincere at no more than 30% (on this particular site, and I'm being generous with the estimates). She proposed meeting when we are at the very very beginning of making acquaintance. To me, the probability that a sincere woman would do that is not more than 5%. When I explained that I'm very happy to come to her country to meet (if we get to know each other better, and find compatibility), but don't pay for travel of a someone I don't know well, she didn't reply (her first time not to answer). Taking into account the possibility that she felt offended, I'll say that the probability of a sincere woman ending the correspondence at that point is 50%. Now, this isn't proper math, but the oversimplified way to estimate this is to multiply the probabilities together thus: 0.30 X 0.05 = 0.015 (1.5% likelihood that she is sincere). So, there's 0.75% likelihood that I lost a good prospect by my handling of the matter (odds more than 130 to 1 against). _____________________________________ Yes, it is a website with fairly good policing. If she is looking for a sponsor, her indirect way of asking for an air ticket is a good defense against the "scammer patrol." She would be smart enough to know that she can be booted for asking straight out. I have met some pretty lousy women whom I didn't denounce to the site (for example, a woman who insisted that we go to an astronomically expensive hotel for dinner and then asked for taxi money much greater than was actually needed), because it isn't strictly scamming. Where I draw the line is asking for money, or making provably false statements. My correspondent stayed on the "safe side" of the line. kiwinorth Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/5/2013 4:09:58 PM   actually WS, Durak isnt been hard nosed as he put it. its your comments that surprise me somewhat. why would you bother taking more time out of your way for some ignorant naive money expecting trollop? theres two types of people in life, the good and then theres the shitters. as in the naive well we leave they to someone else's fate of stupidly. its as simple as saying hello to someone, what are you going to do or say in return? a quick reply in a matter of respect to that person yes no? that little moment tells a lot in a person. its no different. theres no point in trying to throw that net a little wider. its not worth it.. what you are doing WS is possibly taking a very long piece of time out of your life to do this, a lot of work really if you are going to do it properly and sincerely. you can knock lonely as much as you like but this adventure isn't so straight forward as you might think. once you dabble a bit you will realize how much it can rip time out of your life. anybody can find a woman over there but. most in the end will end up grabbing some fluff they can put up with,, not their soul-mate,, for the time thing they just have enough of it. one can ask,, did they really secede then? "not in my books" some people just get out while they have some sanity left in knowing how long a road it can be of garbage money or ones own expectations. your girl is over there, but how long are you willing to do this for? as in picking up crumbs around loaves of bread,, thats done only for fun, it shouldnt be part of your plan.. WIFESEEKER Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/5/2013 4:25:16 PM   durak, OK, I am not saying that she is a scammer or not. However, I want to say a couple of things: There are lots and I mean lots of ladies who are fed up with keyobard Romeos who write and write then one day disappear or say "sorry but I met someone better". These ladies have established a policy, just as men like you say "I am not sending money and that is final". Theirs is: "you want to court me you come to see me, no correspondence, no Skype, no endless phone calls". Many say it on their profile. Of course you will not find ladies' profiles like this in those Anastasia or Ukrainedrwam whatever sites. If there is a forum for FSU ladies looking for men, this must be what they mostly talk about just as we talk about giving them money and scammers. In fact, I will go in direct contradiction to your maths on the above. I say that the ones who insist on you coming to see them first are honest ones. I believe this because it is the ones who say this on their profiles and who tell me in private messages that do not get removed from the website I use. Some of them have been in the site for a few months. They are attractive, self-assured, intelligent and are in no hurry to do what the Western men want them to do. Reducing the matter to maths...well Wanting you to take them to an incredibly expensive restaurant for dinner and then asking you for money is asking for money but you have to refuse so that you can report them, especially if they drop you as a result. My website has a strict policy: anybody who asks for money in any form, gets removed from the site (if they are reported). durak: there was no indirect or direct way that she asked you for money by telling you she had an American visa. She DID NOT ask you for money. Now, after you sent her that message telling her you would not give her money, you have convinced yourself that she was asking or about to ask for money. Tom Shea Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/6/2013 12:10:25 AM   The chances of a single woman getting a visa with out a sponsor, unless it's an educational visa Hoovers right around zero. Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > The "Poison Pill"
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