Kiwi,,, Iím not surprised by anything WS might write! He came to the forum asking about the best way to investigate women,,, now heís talking about forgiving and second chances? Ridiculing durak because he is being too tough on them???
We are all looking for our own match,,, someone that fits our own idea of the perfect mate. What Iím looking for wouldnít be a match for many of the guys here,,, and more precisely,,, their idea of the perfect mate wouldnít work for me. Iíve learned important lessons from past experiences,,, and the bitter despicable haters and anarchists on this forum are the last ones I would take advice from! I wonít change my search for anyone.
I thought I had found the perfect one for myself once,,, and had some hope for a second one. I under estimated the coldness of their hearts, and the magnitude of their lies and deceptions, and how long they can maintain the charade. That wonít happen again!!
Conducting a thorough search and the ensuing investigation takes a lot of time. I might have logged in over a thousand hours of letter writing and web searches before EACH trip that I made. Iíve searched through hundreds of profiles, opened several dozens of intro letters, and had months and sometimes years invested in the few I planned to finally meet! Then to learn that there was never a chance, all of the plans and dreams of a life together and starting a family was nothing more than a lie so they could make a few pennies a week off of you?? All of the expense so they could have a few free meals and maybe some free gifts?? Thatís COLD!!!
Many guys judge their success by how many times they got lucky,,,, and seem to have forgotten the main goal! When Iím in Ukraine, I focus on the goal,,,, and only seek out the temptations when I realize the trip was a bust. Thousands and thousands of hours wasted through the years,,, and very little ďsuccess?Ē verses a few dbl shots of jager and a half hour of small talk,,,,,, for some success?! The ďsuccess?Ē rate of letter writing vs. a chance encounter,,,,, 4,000hrs for 1 on letter writing,,,, and less than an hour for a chance meeting? Sex does not equate success!!!
ďdurak: there was no indirect or direct way that she asked you for money by telling you she had an American visa. She DID NOT ask you for money. Now, after you sent her that message telling her you would not give her money, you have convinced yourself that she was asking or about to ask for money. ď
I think she was about to,,,, younger woman,,, older man,,, most men would jump at the chance for that. She knows that??
Also,,, itís not just about the money ,,, it is a moral issue! Approx 5 minutes of acquaintance,,,, and wanting to fly over??? Wink, wink, wink!!!
I donít think durak is looking for the live nude webcam type. But some of you are,,,, so go for it!!!
Each man will have his own image of what kind of woman he's looking for.
I can offer one example, of a Ukrainian woman who has since married a guy from outside the FSU (not American, as it happened). Soon after we started writing, I asked her about meeting, because I happened to be a few hundred km away at that time. She didn't want to meet, before we got to know each other better.
She wrote long letters with lots of information about herself, and asked deep and practical questions, for example what I consider to be indispensable in a relationship, and on the other side what I find intolerable in marriage.
My judgment, was that she was really serious about finding a suitable husband to make a solid marriage.
In contrast, the woman who recently wrote to ask me about meeting in my country knows nothing about me beyond my website profile, except that I eat meat (she doesn't). One big reason she knows so little about me, is that she hasn't asked! Remember, our communication was equivalent to about 5 minutes of in-person chatting. She doesn't know me from Adam, has no clue about whether we might be able to get along or otherwise compatible or share interests or values or goals in life.
From her city, to the city nearest me, is almost 10,000 km flight distance. The fare runs about $1,000. To understand it scaled to the typical Russian income, imagine it costs $5,000.
She was prepared to make this investment after three short chatty notes? Really? Seriously?
I have chosen to explain my judgment, but am not interested in debating it. At a racetrack, people will bet on different horses, each thinking that their pick is going to bring them some winnings. I have my own ways of choosing what I think is a worthwhile gamble -- to each man, his own!
Women can get a visa, at least for the UK if they come with a group on a tour. I (or they) have obtained visas for ladies to visit me on a tour and as students.
kiwinorth, you are calling a timewaster/scammer somebody who never showed she was, to the extent that you speak like lonely calling her an ignorant naive money expecting trollop.
It is all an assumption. Remember the old 'innocent until proven guilty'? This is always my policy with the ladies I communicate with.
Sometimes you sound like lonely. I am not saying it is easy gto find an FSU wife, but if you have his attitude, then get a hobby (preferably not involving rifles) and forget about women, I mean all women not just the FSU ones. He simply is not marriage material. A lot of men accept this and prefer to live on their own rather than have to face a woman having her period.
That is fine, each person decides how to deal with 'their' women, However, for the benefit of other men and honest FSU women I emphasise that men must not make assumptions about women and accuse them of being scammers until they have substantial proof that they are.
For instance, I have debated which women to report to scammer data bases. I would certainly not report this girl and it would be very damaging to her if she is honest.
I have not reported girls who asked me for help or even money out of their own naivety. These have been mostly young girls who thought that the commitment by their man should start from the time they are corresponding and he needs to prove to them his commitment. Some of these girls have continued to talk to me after I said no money. These girls did not follow the usual patterns of scammers: the latter approach you first, tell you they love you from the beginning, hide their contact details, start telling you how expensive things are, etc until they ask you for money, then dump you when they know you will not send them money.
I have reported older girls who followed the usual patterns of scammer behaviour and cut you off when they know they are not getting the money from you.
Iíve proven that every girl I went to meet was a scammer, timewaster or chair filler,,,, but everyone here seems to ignore that fact.
You can go on a handful of trips and not meet anything that you want to marry,,, or anything that is available.
It can have nothing to do with personality or attitude.
well i do call a stone a stone,,,, no point in defining it more unless i was named Charles Darwin.
i think my search of 3 to 4 years with 6 months over there puts me in a pretty good place in able-ling to generalize such sweet things.
she's Ukrainian i'm guessing, on a Ukrainian marriage site i'm guessing and asking for 'well good as' money in a very cunning way.
time waster for sure and possible a whole lot more..
really she should of been on a good time site instead of possible marriage, and that is been more then fair.
yes you are right in saying Durak has no idea who she was.
on the funny side of it, shes could have been some shriveled up old tart thats had more horse treatment then your local hooker down the road?
maybe the daughter gave the shriveled old dear her identity for afternoon frills or to find the bimbo daughter a potential partner?
stranger things have happened.
why bother figuring it out, its just part of the time wasting agency seen the whole caper there has created.
i may sound harsh to you and some, but to me you sound rather naive.
a lot of your questions and thoughts are really needing a reality check,, i dont mean to be horrible, thats not what i'm trying to do, just saying it as it is and i do wish you luck with this.
but i refuse to be a gentlemen like our Durak when it comes to cheeky cows.
to many men are hurt by these vampires.
this thread of Duraks brings back many memory's of my pure wastage in time with my fingers on the keyboard.
all the awesome girls i met never started with asking anything but my time.
some guys i met through this site and other places just gave up from the pure garbage they were constantly receiving from that world.
just bad luck i guess, sad really.
the point to Duraks post i had gathered was a example to the newer lot here maybe of a time waster..
as i said before, if she doesn't have the decency to explain herself then shes easily categorized as another toe-rag in my books.
there will come a time you will bin such without a thought WS' unless you are lucky like Tom and this doesn't grow into years of searching.
Rb,,, by being invited to visit their city! When buying the plane tickets, we (Americans) already have 900 to 1,200USD invested,,, and then 50 to 150USD per day for hotels.
It isnít always the girl herself that is doing the lying,,, the translator or agency owner could be lying on the girlís behalf.
Girls that donít show up, girls with boyfriends, girls with STDs, girls who donít want to leave their country or job, waste our time.
If a girl lets an agency use her photos and info for deception,,, the girl should be held accountable too!
"Girls that donít show up, girls with boyfriends, girls with STDs, girls who donít want to leave their country or job, waste our time."
How many of each of these did you have and how many legitimate ones?
I just told the story about how the girl didn't want to leave her country. She was genuinely looking into it, but it was her mother that changed her mind. She would have been left alone. They have no relatives.
I think they are entitled to change their minds, just like us.
I don't know what you are thinking. If she has a visa, she's dancing you money! The visa and costs associated with getting the visa are much more than a plane ticket. If you buy a plane ticket on a credit card, she can't cash it in. It can only be refunded to that card. It does seem unusual she would have a visa but if she was serious and she could get a visa, why wouldn't she?