I have been in communication with this lovely FSU girl who I now consider to be my online girlfriend. I have been searching and searching about her in Google and I have found nothing.
Last Saturday, as I paid my regular visit to the dating site where we do the online chat I found, to my dismay, that her account had been removed. I went into a panic and all the scammer paranoia entered my mind. "She must have been removed as she is a scammer" I thought.
So I set about sending her emails asking her to tell me exactly what happened, why she was removed, what she had done, did she ask men for money. I asked her to tell me the truth. However, in the last message she wrote me, before they removed her profile, she told me that she had got rid of a man who had been pestering her with sex talk. When she saw that the thing was getting serious with me, she sent him a final message telling him off. The bugger got furious and went to report her, then she got removed as they usually believe the men.
So she wrote to the administrators of the site, told them what happened, showed them the conversations with the bugger and they were convinced, they reinstated her and removed the bugger.
So while I was waiting for her to reply to me, later in the day, her account got reinstated, but it was too late. She ha already read my messages and she got furious as it was the second time I treated her with suspicion. She blocked me in the chat room and told me it was over, she added never to call her on the phone, send her letters by post or send her emails ever again.
As this is THE GIRL I want to pursue, I had no option but to start the grovelling. She said to leave her alone again. I tried one last message and she responded. She was angry and bitter but she started to talk to me again, she told me she over-reacted. Now we are back to the niceties but I am worried that there is some resentment there that I have to work on.
I was saved a thread all because of 'scammer paranoia'. She had told me clearly that, if there was something that really pissed her off, it was not being trusted.
The moral of the story: leave your paranoia at the sign in page and enjoy the experience of communicating with the lovely honest ladies.
WS,, this is what i mean of been a little naive.
take a step back and play it cool, you have the time,,, and there maybe a lot of it.
scammer should be on your mind as a last resort and only on red flags that keep leading there.
time wasters are always possible but i still dont see why you reacted so quickly.
so what if she went missing,,, the internet, these sites or whatever are so unreliable and never straight forward to go dreaming up scenarios to quickly.
even if she possibility found a man she likes,, why hit her with stupid questions like that?
if she thinks you are a alright guy you will get answers eventually.
yeah its hard waiting sometimes but play it cool.
specially if bugger all red flags have ever shown up?
my words of a time thing of years is reality, dont go jamming heaps of bullshit into a moment to come up with ghost.
paranoia dose not work in this game or in anything.
keep it real, and only measure her in that way if theres significant red flags.
but still, be careful in what you write, you may be wrong:).
hope you are a good at groveling:)
lonely,, dont make him any more paranoid:)
yes it takes two to tango.
compatible,, if so WS you may break most records in speed of things:)
hell imagine that.
once i was hoping such,, she turned out to be one of the lugansks agencys queen bees.
dam gorgeous thing she was.
that was the one i got that guy to check out for me,,, to understand the ins and outs of these girls.
back then i didnt know of forums like this,, i had to use my own head in understanding the connection with agencys girls money.
the interpreter was who opened my eyes up more so then anything else to start with, she was a very cool girl, rather lucky on my part meeting her really.
gorgeous woman to.
she's married now in Kiev with a beautiful baby and good man.
sadly the chances of them visiting me is almost nil because of our(nz) attitude to Ukraine and Russian visitors.
I see what you mean about agency girls. I would not touch one of those agencies with a barge pole and I do not understand why men, who even come to forums like this, use them.
I do not know why you would want that girl to visit you, to give you a reminder of what cost you emotionally and in money, then another guy got for free.
It would be easy to do with the advice given here. On the percentage if say American women were much bigger users than Ukranian women. I also nearly did the same thing. Be aware but no more so than here in the states. Users are obvious if you tell them you only have 4 days in their town whe n you arrive... Scammers will show their hands immediately.
until you meet think of her as nothing serious...like a piece of meat
say you meet this lady and you click you will look back at all your letter writing and Skype sms as nothing but a pain in the arse
you think .. she might like everything about you in letters but once she meets you she may not like your body odor or how you suck your teeth .
possibly she has a smelly vagina .
my point is you cant tell the real person until you meet . you will have more chance if you just meet this girl and then see if a real relationship happens
Wifeseeker, I had written 12 women for over 6 months.. Hundreds of letters each. They were in donetsk, lugansk, makeevka, and another city to the south..I forget. I told each woman that I was coming by on the way back for a work trip so I was only there for 4 days. In reality i had around 20 days. I knew some would b4 one night and done. I arranged them in connection order that i felt with them. On the first day I meet the one I felt closest with from the letters. I knew telling them I was just there for 4 days would cause the scammers to step right up. Anyway by the 3rd day I called all the others and wished them good luck in the future but I had found my other half. I spent the whole 18 days there and e are to be married the day after tomorrow
I still do not know why telling a scammer that you are going to be there only 4 days will make her reveal herself.
To be honest, they way you went about it was vey unfair on any of the honest girls you were going to see. That is why they complain so bitterly about men who make all kinds of promises, then do not deliver.
Supposing you had gone to see one of the other girls first, then you would have written a good bye letter to your now fiance? Are you happy to think you would have hurt her feelings.
Besides, these girls are not stupid, they suspect you are going to see other girls when you say you can only be there for 4 days. So some of the honest ones will drop you too.
Ask your wife to be if she did not suspect you were going to see other women on your trip.
A girl dropped me unceremoniously when she suspected I was going out with other girls on a visit of mine (I was). I met her over there, so there were no promises by post. Still, she was not pleased.
I still don't get what this actually means... "telling them I was just there for 4 days would cause the scammers to step right up". They said, sorry I can't see you I'm a scammer? They stopped e-mailing? How did they identify themselves?