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Tomasu

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	Send: 3/7/2014 8:49:58 AM

Hi all, While I'm somewhat new here, I've been trying the online, and online foreign dating thing for a while now. Obviously I haven't had much luck. And I've had numerous people attempt to scam me. One recent one actually managed to do it, the amount of effort they put into so little money really surprised me. Live and learn. Given my luck (or skill?), I'm wondering just how wary I should be when I get nice messages from /beautiful/ UA women on this site? Especially ones that are eager to get my messages, and repeatedly ask me to visit? I've heard about a bunch of the different scams, baiting foreigners, pro daters, etc. One girl just yesterday, in all caps, asked me to come save her. Even for the situation Ukraine is in right now, I really don't think a real person would just outright ask a stranger that. We'd only been messaging for a little while at that point. And what about the women that ask things like "If we were together right now, what would we do?", I can't tell you how immature my mind is when asked things like that. I never actually tell a woman what my first thought is ;) I'm pretty sure that would send a massive red-flag to any genuine woman, and I'd never hear from them again. So yes, my mind can be a little perverted, but I don't actually let that side of me take the lead, especially when I don't know the person. Basically, I'm getting increasingly hesitant about this. What to do?

WIFESEEKER

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	Send: 3/7/2014 6:44:00 PM

What if they are prompting you: "If we were together right now, what would we do: go to the cinema, give each other a kiss, have a nice meal, you give me flowers....." Start talking about sex from the beginning and all the decent women will go away and you will be left with the scammers and prostitutes. There are going to be loads of messages with advice. Mine is hold them at bay, talk to them for months, as much as you can. Gradually, you will weed out the scammers, opportunists, visa searchers and time wasters. You will be left with only one or two who are genuine and interested in you (there will be many who are genuine but who will end up choosing another man). No woman can hide everything about herself for months unless she has been trained by the modern KGB. My girl is in the heart of the troubles in Crimea, she is losing work, maybe altogether soon. She has not given me the slightest hint she needs money. I have known her for several months.

wineman

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	Send: 3/7/2014 9:41:32 PM

Have you ever been over there? If not why not? My suggestion is for you to get on a plane and go meet some ladies in person. When you meet them, you will know if they are serious or just trying to scam you.

Tom Shea

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	Send: 3/8/2014 12:18:08 AM

Dude you said nothing. How old are you? Don't waste your time if you are under 30. Don't waste your time with women inner 27...28. There are lots of guys that have been here for decades who will tell you how to succeed while they failed. I've been here for 2 years and am married to a woman 20 years younger than me and stunning. Put on your big girl panties, pay attention, and go for it if you are a puss you will fail anyway so man up, use fiance.com..... Its the best site, and if you have any questions pm me. I'm writing a book on how its done right but advice to those here will always be free. Here's a hint...when a woman likes you over there, it feels the same as over here. If you are 26... Wait 10 years. If you want to know how its done right, pm me questions.

kiwinorth

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	Send: 3/8/2014 3:30:17 AM

yes the absolute rubbish one has to sniff through to find real. its a numbers game,,, eventually you will find real if you keep at it. but its seriously one hell of a garbage heap of cyber trash for sure.

Tomasu

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	Send: 3/8/2014 10:26:11 PM

@WIFESEEKER, yeah, That is probably what she was asking. I've just let myself get a little cynical due to scammers and "cam girls", always starting with sex and love and "lets cam/meet!". I have to make sure I don't make that mistake again :) My plans have been to spend a long time talking first. I can't imagine it really working any other way. @Tom, I appreciate the advice, but not the insults. I'm over 30. And I'm not about to stop using fiance.com, not for the very very minor issues I've had so far. There's another site I've been a member of for a while, and probably 90% of the people I've been messaged by are fake. Not going to give up on that one either. Actually met some nice people, though we didn't really connect. Are there any tips you can offer, other than the few general ones that everyone should know? Like: - No sending money - Don't rush things - Don't be a dick - Don't talk to them as if they are hookers

WIFESEEKER

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	Send: 3/9/2014 4:51:43 PM

Tom, That is interesting about guys under 30 looking for a lady in the FSU. I think their No. 1 problem is that the ladies over there tend not to trust them or take them seriously. As their young men treat the girls like sex toys and one of many, they are wary of these young men. I believe that many FSU ladies purposely look for Western men who are quite a bit older and not so good looking as these men should have little chance of finding a better woman than them.

WIFESEEKER

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	Send: 3/13/2014 8:46:23 AM

Tomasu, You said it: - No sending money Think, if she did not know you or any other foreigner, how would she cope? Would she starve? No. The only ones who are in real danger of hardship at present are the ones in Crimea. - Don't rush things You meet a girl online, the next week you are there to see her, then you find she was a scammer, she went away, she was talking to 40 other men, she meets you with her boyfriend, etc. - Don't be a dick Many girls put it in her profile: "I am sick of stupid men" Stupid for them: No knowledge of their culture whatsoever: they call her a Russian when she is Ukrainian, they tell her all Ukrainians are poor and live in misery, etc. They treat them like a mail order bride. They talk for months, make all kinds of promises, then they disappear. They always talk about her tits, bum, etc. They ask their Skype address, email address, phone number from day 1 They assume they (the man) is the one that chooses her, not the other way round. They call a distinguished looking lady a chick, bird, hot mamma, you name it. And other things. - Don't talk to them as if they are hookers Of course not. I have told a couple of them that I am sexually attracted to them. They did not take offence and took it as a compliment, why? Because I treated them with respect, I spoke to them about a lot of other things before, I praised them on their education, job, being a good mother, etc. talked about the relationship and many other things. Then I told them I was going to be honest and say that I am not looking for a nanny for my children or another daughter, I want a lover and that is the way I see them. They liked this.

Tom Shea

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	Send: 3/13/2014 8:49:27 PM

Tom even I said how old are you, that wasn't an insult. You didn't say and it maters because if you are looking for a 22 year old beautiful serious woman, you have you're work cut out for you.

Tomasu

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	Send: 3/18/2014 5:33:58 PM

The age question wasn't the main part I was talking about. But at any rate, I've found I'm not that attracted to women under mid to late 20s anyhow. I mean sure, some are quite physically attractive, but that's not my main concern.

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