Hi.....New on here. Been on Fiance.com about a week....seems ok.......I have read so many of the blogs on here, it has been good for me.......anyway I'll tell you where I've been and where I'm at......I had been talking to a lady (girl 24) whos main interest was dancing as is mine and it was specified on my profile. She also wanted the same thing as I, a family. We had been talking for 7 months and she was pushing me to go and see her in Sumy, said she would meet me at the airport, help me book an apartment, all sounded great. But some things did not add up I must admit. I had bought her contact details but she would not e mail me or chat on yahoo (even though she had given me her yahoo account info). She was very clever in that she would send odd messages on Yahoo to keep the carrot dangling. But preferred to do it on the dating site and chat on the dating site. She also sent some amazing gorgeous pictures of herself too..wow...Anyway I thought just fly to Kiev and meet her...booked a flight and told her I would be there first week of October. We had originally said September but with a new job I could not get time off...She claimed I said I would be there in August and attempted to start an argument. She said if I gave her the truth she would tell me her problem and why she was quizzing me.....I gave her my side regarding new job and just trying to get a cheap flight from UK..(maybe "cheap" scared her). But I did say I would visit her every month....Not heard her side of the story and her last message was finished bluntly with "goodnight". Anyway not heard from her since and I know I wont...I did get a message via Yahoo asking "how are you dear" a few days later. I replied to it up with what a scam DM was and I was out of there....maybe I should of been softer with my reply and there could of been a chance, who knows!!....I do still have the flight booked though....the site I was on, DREAM MARRIAGE....I know I know, don't shout at me through the computer. I had actually been on DM for 4 years the first 2 I was saying to myself, "it's scam it's got to be" but looked on the internet and didn't see big red flags like I did with Anastasia....So I have been researching since....I am 52 and would like to meet a woman to marry and have a family with...I am looking for a young woman late twenties if possible, abroad as I thought they may accept the age gap better than the British women.
I have figured out I need to do the following.....1. If there is an age gap of twenty years or more mention it and see what they say. (one girl on here, 22 keeps sending messages. When I mentioned the gap she said she was dissappointed I had done, age meant nothing. I have 3 nieces older than her!!!!..... 2. Find a site where you pay monthly for unlimited letters like this one.......3..check to see if they are on VK Ukraine version of FB (you can find them apparently with a christian name and date of birth in the search bit, but not tried it yet......and that's about it....but I need advice on a few things....I have read they will have Skype and should be able to chat on that if they are genuine....how long should you leave it before travelling to see them?.......Or is it just best to do a group tour via this or another company...There is nothing like meeting someone to see if you have chemistry. This was meant to be short and brief so people would read it.....apologies...
Use a site where you only pay a monthly subscription with access to all the girls and exchange of personal contact information at any time, that is all you need. The age gap is less important unless you get mesages from model looking 20 year olds telling you they really want you.
You want younger girls, you go after them and convince them that you can be good for them. The genuine ones are not easy to convince.
Yes it is easy to find them in VK as ther search engine is far better than FB's
I am corresponding with a lady in her late 20s. I also brought up the age difference, but she says she is not concerned with it. She appears more concerned about becoming an "old maid" because when women reach 30 in her country, the marriage prospects get smaller. She also wants children, so waiting any longer will make it that much more difficult. She has been in the USA as a teen and wants to change her life. I have an aunt who is younger than I am. I have cousins who are 30 years younger than I am. I do not have children, so there is no child vs. spouse age issue in my case. I just recently started corresponding for a few months, so I could not suggest when is a good time to travel to meet them. Some have suggested between 6 months to 1 year. Some have waited a couple of years before travelling. As for group tour, it does save you from having to visit alone, but you could be tied with that group and then decide you want to stay in one place longer and not have that flexibility. Each company has different travel costs and introduction costs, so you need to compare.
Don't you see? She wants you to correspond through the site so that you pay and in turn she gets paid.
She wants you to come quickly so she can scam you in person - apartment rentals, interpreters, taxi, restaurants, shops. They will scam you every way to Sunday.
They can only get so much with you paying through the site but if they get you there in person they can rape you financially. In the end you will get NOTHING.
Remember what I said before - don't let her or an agency arrange anything (apartment, taxi, etc.) because they have a vested interest. It's like trusting the fox to guard the hen house.
I wouldn't be going to see her unless you're spending hours a day on Skype video with her.
You can still use your ticket. Just find a good agency (or website as some ppl here call it) where you can get lady's DIRECT contact information.
IBM yes the phrase "just trying to get a cheap flight from UK" is going to scare a scammer because she will think you have no money. It's also going to scare a normal girl because she also wants a financially secure man.
The scammer might go for it anyway because she will pick any tree she can get.
Ibm, you were being scammed. Dancing? That's as deep a connection as you had? OK, maybe a hobby but the main thing in your life/profile? I'd say at 50 maybe you should go deeper than that. A girl in her 20? You might as well just send her your AMEX that's all shes after. If you want a family , which is very reasonable, look for mid 30s. I'm 55 and meet my wife here. She's now 36. I don't want any kids I've got too many already. Unless you are very famous/rich and can give her opportunities for a life she can't imagine, forget you middle age drooling for a 20 year old. Look to do this you must be rather savvy and from what I've read you aren't up for this.
IMB,, you are asking a lot:) you need to come down to reality just a small bit i feel.
hell i'm 46 and i would be very skeptic in having some silly twenty year old around me, let alone wondering of her motives. ..
actually i do all the time in my home from all over the world but i dont date them (calm down Moyarishka, the thought of feeling that heart of yours bounce that double beat all the way down to new zealand is frightening enough then been caught in some whacked out dating triangle by you moody Ukrainian girls:):)
IMB with that age gap you need to be even more sure of what you are doing, as in what you are getting into.
are you trying to relive your passed or something, come on mate find a bit of reality:)
finding your equal would be very limited to almost impossible,,, hell its difficulty enough finding your equal there as it is.
look mate using this dating system will give you a false level of security of whats really real and it seems it has.
in reality you, we should be going over there and living in the place for a while, work or what ever in finding her if you are serious.
this puts you in amongst real people instead of mostly fantasy.
i'm not saying its not real dating young woman, i have over there but what you are asking or wanting is extremely on the edge.
put it this way, what do you have that a twenty year old would want?
partying? classy moments involving fun and youth, equal friends of her age, through your lives?? love of viagra pills? hiking through the Himalayas?
will she really be happy as every year goes by i wonder?
could you sustain a consistent changing need physically and mentally to her needs let alone her excepting your growing British belly and rigid mind.
if you did find such the chances of her taking on extra services over the fence by your naigbours son is rather high.
i'm not trying to belittle you IMB, just think about this,,, personally i think its actually really difficult finding maturity in many of these young girls (its a brain thing called living, most are still kids)
a lot of pretending goes on with the younger ones with a demanding almost brat-ness in full swing.
i would go to the 30 year age group, they are far more centered, seriously..
forgot to ask, how old are you Moyarishka:)? or have i? wheres my pills..
Not being dumb WS - just being realistic. If you were 22 would you want to date a 55 year old? If you had a 22 year old daughter would you want her to date a 55 yr old fart? I personally wouldn't.
kiwinorth - excellent points. WS could learn a thing or two.
No girl is serious about marriage at the age of 22. She is only wanting the party or is in heat with a young beau,, certainly not an old man. Life and reality might make a woman in her 30's or 40's look seriously at an old man. Just a little advice from an old man a few years more experience looking and succeeded.
You continue to assume that it is YOUR (or the man's) choice what lady you get. It is THEIR choice. I posted the link to the website where women talk about THEIR opinions on the age difference. You and others chose to ignore it altogether, and posted your 'expert' opinions on the matter instead.
I have had 36-38 year old women telling me that they would not get involved with a decrepit man of over 45. And you think you can decide for them that, being in their mid 30's, they are there for the taking.
Furthermore, many of these women in their mid thirties are completely spoilt as, they themselves, were picked by a wealthy Ukrainian man, when they looked like models at the age of 19, then dumped them for another 19 year old and they want a Westerner to give them the lifestyle they got from their former husband. Hence their profile photos wearing fur coats, in a porsche, on a yacht
Hi everyone.....thanks for your thoughts..... By the way I'm extremely fit and don't look 52 (just needed to get that in :) .....I must admit that I thought the 30's age bracket more realistic. Just put on here what happened. I did find one of the first girls I spoke to on VK the other day. She was very nice, and I would of said she could of been one of the 1% that could of been genuine on DM. She never sent many photos as she was not keen on the camera. Got to her profile on VK, I've never seen so many photos in my life. Reality check there. I have found a site (as well as this one) where you pay monthly and can exchange e mail addresses and as many messages too and fro as you like. So that's a good start. My gut feeling is go out there (I'll do a group tour) and see how the land lies and what is what.
Tom Shea.....It wasn't just dancing......my profiles are quite long explaining what I like what I'm looking for. Then letters follow regarding my lifestyle and family (3 sisters, 2 brothers, nieces, nephews, etc etc) so they know what they are getting involved with. I make it sound like the Mafia, but can assure you it isn't :)..... Did you ever write your book?
kiwinorth.....beer belly and rigid mind...certainly no beer belly, would I be on here if I had a rigid mind!!!!!...I do know where your coming from with your comments.
The examples you cite WS always involve the financial benefit a young lady would receive by being with an old man.
A young lady deserves to be with a young man. If she's with a man twice her age she's not going to be happy and is going to go looking elsewhere. If he's ok with that arrangement (and many are), then fine.
In IBM..UK's case, he is searching for cheap tickets from UK to Ukraine. He certainly is not wealthy so I, (we) are trying to give him realistic advice based on his social and economic status.
A young lady in her 20s is not going to be interested in a 50 or 60 something year old man other than the financial (or possibly immigration) benefit she can receive from him. Plain and simple. As I said, put yourself in her shoes. Think of what's going to make her happy and not yourself.
I can hardly believe that you are so deluded. The benefit of a passage to the West and/or financial benefit applies to virtually ALL FSU women looking for a Western man, from 19 to 70 year olds. Men like me accept the fact that girls want to be brought to the UK. Several of them have been honest with me and told me so but I say to them that I want to be loved too. What I do not accept is girls looking for money as I am not wealthy anyway.
You are completely fooling yourself tninking that FSU women have an intrests in your looks or great personality. You have said yourself that you only get sex from them when you pay.
all tongue a cheek IBM tongue and cheek,,, glad to see you back,,, hey i have been trying for that belly for years but maybe i'm drinking the wrong stuff? some people have all the luck aye..
be careful with the younger, you can just be a stepping stone, its just business and your heart really means shit to them.
its like fishing, they will tell you what you want to hear,, sadly once you are hooked it can be a very long play until you find yourself high and dry.
they have the time and you have the world they normally cannot swim in..
with the older ones it can be the other way round, the time clock will decide how much she loves you at the time...
its strictly business with some, but saying that some will still hold some kind of morality.
just how far to stick your head out (when moving fast) is the question, its all a gamble..
but hey i'm only covering the worst scenarios here.
Ouch Tom: I couldn't imagine splitting the bill with a woman I was hoping to bed. If however, she were to go to market, buy something and cook it for me or even plan a special outing to a restaurant as her treat O.K., but I would have to see at as an event and not lunch with friends