I think chat should include the ladies, as i often nip 2 there forum for a nose, It`s good for all... If its made VIP could it not include ex-VIP`s.. Tim + others should get a free life membership for going above and beyond their call of duty, damn lucky sod`s. Still wait till i get out there..sorry going of topic.... Guess we could always make our own room and post it in the forum.. Keep of the blue pill`s lads.
LOL There isnt a topic here Gent !! Thats teh whole point :o)) One can ramble on about anything they wish in this thread, which hopefully will keepo the rest of teh threads nearer to topic :o))
I did say Hopefully ;o))
"One pill make you bigger and the other pill makes you small, poor Alice, when she was 10 feet tall !!'
Now where did I last see that damn white rabbit ?? ;o)
Still when you think about, it might be a good idea to have a place where we can joke around and say a nasty word or two withuot fear of offending any potential ladies we might want to write to later. Or maybe they should sign a waiver or something before they can get on. ..............The Fiance Forum is quite a bit more lively than the other one I belong to. THis one is better. They are too civilized at the other. Howerver I do like the ladies' input. This one Russian chick has a chat titled 'Jokes About Relationships' She posted a couple of G rated jokes and then asked why no one had any more posts. ????????? So now I'm waiting to see if she knows the answer to my post--------Whats the difference between your wife and your job?
I'll put it this way Tim. The other sites' chat room is dull. That joke should light a fire under it though. Thanks for the inspiration. Your post got quite a few laughs over here in Oregon.
"You know when you have been to bed with an ugly woman, when you wake to find her sleeping on your arm, and rather than wake her, you chew your own arm off !!!"
"Never gone to bed with an Ugly woman, but I have woken upo with 100`s of them !!"
"Why do women have small feet ?
So they can stand closer to the cooker (stove) "
Why did the woman cross the road ?
Never mind why she crossed the road !!
Who gave her permission to leave the kitchen ???"
"A buddis walked up to a hot dog vendor and said "Can you make me one with everything?"
"2 Nuns on a tandem (dual bicycle) riding down a cobbled street, one Nun says the the other "I dont think we have come this way before", "No" says the other, "it must be the cobble stones"
Just keeping the chat room from falling off the end of the list :o)))
Little girl walking her dog through the park, when she meets a Vicar.
"Hello Vicar" she politely says.
"Hello little girl, and what is your name"
"My names Mandy" says the little girl.
"And is this your doggy Mandy"
"Yes Vicar"
"And what is your doggy called ?"
"We call him Porky"
"Oh ! What an unusual name for a doggy, do you call him porky because he is a bit over weight ?"
"No Vicar, we call him Porky because he f*cks pigs !!"
Men have many faults,
Women only two,
Everything they say
And Everything they do !!! ;o))
A friend of mine got a thick ear last week after he stood, at work, looking puzzled at a vacuum cleaner, when asked by a female colleague what was wrong he replied
"There is something wrong with the vacuum cleaner !!"
The woman enquired
"Whats wrong?"
He told her
"There is something missing" giving her a most puzzled look,
She very naively said
"Whats missing"
He replied
"The woman who pushes it !!!"
;o)))
2 Sisters own a farm in a back water US town, they have 20 cows but their bull died last year. After trying to get by they finally decide that they must buy a new bull, even though business has been bad and times are very hard (Bush is still in power after all !!) . They manage to scrape $100 together and find a bull for sale on the internet, which is in the next state, not too far away.
So sister number one (the eldest) says to her sibling, "I will go by car, and make sure the bull is suitable, its cheaper to take the car than the truck, if I buy the bull I will give you a call and you can bring the truck to fetch it" "OK" says her sister.
Sister one goes off in the car, and finds the farm where the bull is for sale, after checking the beast over she tells the farmer about how hard things have been these past months with no bull they haven't had any calf's to sell and the milk is drying up from the cows too. The farmer feels sorry for the sisters and agrees to sell her the bull for $99 so she pays him and then asks if she can use his telephone to call her sister to bring the truck.
"Phones busted honey" he says "been busted 3 months or more, but there is a telegraph office down the ways a piece, you can send her a telegram from there"
Off she goes and finds the telegraph office, inside she takes a slip of paper and writes a message to her sister.
Then she gives it to the clerk, who says " Now let me see, 10 words at $1 per word, that will be $10 please dear"
"Oh !!" says the girl, "I only have $1 and I need to tell my sister to get the truck, hitch the up trailer and come here, to fetch our new bull !!"
"Well I'm very sorry but I cannot send that message for $1" replies the clerk.
The girl thinks for a few minutes then writes one word, "comfortable" on the paper and says "Send that"
The clerk reads the word and looks very puzzled, "How will that one word tell her to get the truck, hitch up the trailer and come here, to fetch your new bull !!"
"My sister is a Blond, she will read it slowly" !!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------ -----------------------------------------
2 City girls go for a week on a farm in the country.
On the first day the farmer tells them to watch over a bull and cow while they mate, and make sure all goes well.
An hour and a half later he returns to find both girls leaning against the gate post, looking decidedly dishevelled and sweating like pigs.
"what on earth have you two done to get in such a state? he asks.
"Well" says one of the girls, "We are really sorry, we tried and tried but we couldn't get that cow to lay on her back and put her legs in the air for the bull !!"
;o)))
2 Sister own a farm in a back water US town, they have 20 cows but their bull died last year. After trying to get by they finally decide that they must buy a new bull, even though business has been bad. They mangage to scrape $100 together and fine a bull for sale in the next state, so sister number one (the eldest) says to her sibling, "I will go by car, and make sure the bull is sutable, its cheaper to take the car than the truck, when and if I buy the bull I will give you a call and you can bring the truck to fetch it" "OK' says her sister
2 Sisters own a farm in a back water US town, they have 20 cows but their bull died last year. After trying to get by they finally decide that they must buy a new bull, even though business has been bad and times are very hard (Bush is still in power after all !!) . They manage to scrape $100 together and find a bull for sale on the internet, which is in the next state, not too far away.
So sister number one (the eldest) says to her sibling, "I will go by car, and make sure the bull is suitable, its cheaper to take the car than the truck, if I buy the bull I will give you a call and you can bring the truck to fetch it" "OK" says her sister.
Sister one goes off in the car, and finds the farm where the bull is for sale, after checking the beast over she tells the farmer about how hard things have been these past months with no bull they haven't had any calf's to sell and the milk is drying up from the cows too. The farmer feels sorry for the sisters and agrees to sell her the bull for $99 so she pays him and then asks if she can use his telephone to call her sister to bring the truck.
"Phones busted honey" he says "been busted 3 months or more, but there is a telegraph office down the ways a piece, you can send her a telegram from there"
Off she goes and finds the telegraph office, inside she takes a slip of paper and writes a message to her sister.
Then she gives it to the clerk, who says " Now let me see, 10 words at $1 per word, that will be $10 please dear"
"Oh !!" says the girl, "I only have $1 and I need to tell my sister to get the truck, hitch the up trailer and come here, to fetch our new bull !!"
"Well I'm very sorry but I cannot send that message for $1" replies the clerk.
The girl thinks for a few minutes then writes one word, "comfortable" on the paper and says "Send that"
The clerk reads the word and looks very puzzled, "How will that one word tell her to get the truck, hitch up the trailer and come here, to fetch your new bull !!"
"My sister is a Blond, she will read it slowly" !!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------ -----------------------------------------
2 City girls go for a week on a farm in the country.
On the first day the farmer tells them to watch over a bull and cow while they mate, and make sure all goes well.
An hour and a half later he returns to find both girls leaning against the gate post, looking decidedly dishevelled and sweating like pigs.
"what on earth have you two done to get in such a state? he asks.
"Well" says one of the girls, "We are really sorry, we tried and tried but we couldn't get that cow to lay on her back and put her legs in the air for the bull !!"
;o)))
2 Sister own a farm in a back water US town, they have 20 cows but their bull died last year. After trying to get by they finally decide that they must buy a new bull, even though business has been bad. They mangage to scrape $100 together and fine a bull for sale in the next state, so sister number one (the eldest) says to her sibling, "I will go by car, and make sure the bull is sutable, its cheaper to take the car than the truck, when and if I buy the bull I will give you a call and you can bring the truck to fetch it" "OK' says her sister
Hey Tim, That blond "comfortable" joke is pretty damm good. And I'm not easily amused. I'm gonna use that one too, if you don't mind. Ive gotta lota friends in the cattle buisiness I can try that one on.