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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > Older Kids vs Younger Kids Author Post Ditto Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/5/2004 1:45:20 PM   I have read discussions about kids versus no kids and I have already sorted this out for myself, but I have a cultural question with which some of you may be able to help. If any of you have experience with older children (near teenagers), have you noticed any cultural effects, especially the boys? My concern has to do with the boys turning out to be like the stereotypical men and me having very little time to be a positive influence. Of course, the girls turning out to be the stereotypical woman would only be my contribution to American society. I'll have to get a big stick to keep the men off her. Any random thoughts? Dale E Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/5/2004 1:59:38 PM   Of course it would be much easier to work with younger kid. But when they are teenagers, they are already striving for their individualism and freedom. This may sound like an obviously stupid answer, but I have found that if you keep a close eye on his new friends, and they have qualities that you like, they will have the greatest influence on him. Let him hang with the wrong crowd and you know what happens then. Ditto Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/5/2004 2:04:44 PM   I live in America. Is there a right crowd? Dale E Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/5/2004 2:19:16 PM   lol, Only allow him one friend thatis hand picked by you! Man Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/5/2004 2:35:35 PM   Keep them out of school and don't let them watch TV either. But basicaly, if the parenting job was done correctly from an early age, they won't stray too far and if they do, they will come back. TimH Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/5/2004 3:03:40 PM   Yeah, if he is young enough, he will grow to be like US teenagers !! So watch out :o))) Seriously though, teenagers will look to their piers for guidance and so long as he is in a reasonably good group of friends then all should be fine :o) "Only allow him one friend thatis hand picked by you!" And preferably not female !! ;o)) Man is right, meet these kids, get to know them, see how it goes then :o)) Ultra Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/6/2004 4:23:56 AM   I agree with all previous posts. To my mind, only if a boy is not a big patriot, he will get used to a new way of life, a new country and new friends very quickly and more likely (to avoid being a rara avis) he will become americanized and in a year or two you will not be able to tell him from an American teenager. I think the same is with girls. Maybe she will preserve some good qualities which she acquired from her mother, but the influence of her new friends will take place as well and she may become a real American girl … however there is a plus here - you would not have to get a big stick idiotdetector Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/6/2004 5:12:06 AM   Opinion- Having no acual exerience but having seen this siuation, but with a girl, I will say this anyway. The girl I know is 12 and she is very nice young girl, seemsa little loanly though to me. Imagine when you move to a new town and have to make new friends, a fairly shitty exsperience for most but can turn out good depending on the individual. Now imagine your mom married a new man, a new stepdad, takes you away from all you know, all your friends and tells you it for the best. Chances are that you and this child will not have the best relationship no matter how hard you try, and as a teenager from russia, an even bigger change, her will already have some bad attitude I am sure. Sorry to be negitive but sounds like a recipe to brew disarster. GLTALLTOAD Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/6/2004 9:47:29 AM   Regardless of their nationality, cultural background or family structure, ALL teenagers are temporariliy 'brain-damaged' from the onset of puberty, and remain so until they graduate from college. The environment in which these teenagers are placed reduces or increases the risk to their formation from 'person projects' or 'monkies in training' to contributing members of society. Because of the materialistic, free rein, libertine, female freeloading, and the 'pee sitting down boy training' feminazy single motherhood ways in today's american society we, the parents, exhale a gigantic sigh of relief if our children make it out of high school alive, with no criminal record, no drug dependency (legal or illegal) and no STDs (sexually communicative disease) Some of you may think I am exaggerating, but if you live in the US, you know there isn't a single community High School not affected by the above negatives. Let this be a warning to FSU mothers who are considering raising their children here. Ditto Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/6/2004 11:11:07 AM   Thank you Toad. You just reminded me of something else to introduce into my letters. I've tried to paint a realistic picture of life here in the US without sounding like a Hate America member, but this is one subject I have failed to broach. Man Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/6/2004 11:42:45 AM   Good one GL,and I know you're not exagerating. But remember there are always a few kids that dont get brain-damaged too badly. Have a look in certain church congregations sometimes. That is if ya got the guts.. lol.. I suspect that these kids had some good parenting early on. ........But if a kid is baby sat with the TV in front of him all day in the daycare centre, lookout. ensata Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/6/2004 12:24:01 PM   Well Let me come to the defense of our American youth. To begin with I have had two daughters go through puberty, Jr. and senior High, and a son who is fifteen. To a person they are great kids who never got involved with drugs, sex or alcohol. They have had great friends who also turned out great. Now I adopted a girl who came to us at age 8, (adopted at 14) - she is a great kid too. She became an unwed mother (age 20)- but then her bio mother who raised her to age 8 was a stripper and hooker who was not shy about performing her services in front of her kids. She (my daughter)is now marrying a decent guy. I have also spent a decade as a private school headmaster - we also had a bunch of great teens. Every year I bring my family to a huge week long Christian Rock Music Festival in Pennsylvania - 100,00 teen camp out for week. Sorry, absolutely no promiscuity, drugs, alcohol, cigerettes, nudity or ludeaty take place here. And they are having a blast. Bottom line: your kids will turn out just like you. Or will turn out just like their FSU mothers - so another reason to choose wisely. Now, my Lovely Lucy, has a wonderful 7 year old. She is a excellent little girl. She will turn out great, because her mother is great. And should we be together then she will have a great step dad! I have three little guys at home that I have custody of (5,7,8) and they are great and will be as well adjusted, intelligent, successful and traditional values orientated as their older siblings. So don't be to sour. Be a great father, marry a great wife and you'll have great kids and teens. If you marry a girl with a child, you are making as serious a committment to her child as to her. Ditto Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/6/2004 1:06:58 PM   My intent was not to convey to the women that this is life in America and your kids will turn out rotten. I only want them to know that the kids will be tempted constantly, if we are not vigilant. I want to make sure the women understand that it will be a lot of conscious effort on our part to impart our values to them and keep the lines of communication open. The real concern for me was the lines of communication. I have them with my son, since I've been with him since birth. He's only 4, so the lines are still new, but it serves as a foundation. Bringing another child into the family, those lines of communication will not exist for me unless the child wants them to. I can't parent a child that does not trust me or open up to me. I will be dependent on her parenting skills to help develop that trust and communication. Ensata, I couldn't agree more. Our children become near mirror images of our true selves, not our words or ideals, but our real selves. They don't listen to our words. They watch our actions. If we want ot improve our children, we have to improve ourselves. GLTALLTOAD Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/6/2004 3:08:27 PM   Man, The last time I checked a church congregation, the head priest was being led away in handcuffs by the police after they investigated charges of child molestation. Please spare me the "goodie two shoes" blanket assumption or insinuation that church groups are inmune to the same corrupting and vice temptations that kids from atheists or non-church attending families face. I believe all parents, school administrators, church group leaders and even the boys' scouts have the best intentions for our youth. But if children and even teenagers are left to their own devices because of parental neglect or due to a household with both parents working they will invariably stray from the righteous path to adulthood. Ditto, I could not agree more, the 'little monkies' copy everything we do, lol. GLTALLTOAD Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/6/2004 3:13:01 PM   Ensata, Your own story proves my bitter point of what our american youth faces without direct and constant parental presence to oversee, guide and correct their actions, choices and tendencies. ensata Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/6/2004 3:17:30 PM   GL While I include a religious component in my chid rearing, I know that is not that which really makes the difference, but it is the parental investment as you describe. TimH Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/6/2004 3:26:30 PM   "Sorry to be negitive but sounds like a recipe to brew disarster" One of the main reasons I hvoid women with children already ID. I want kids of my own, but I dont want the agro of brining up another persons child again. I ahve done it very successfully once for my step son Andrew, who is a real good son, and who I love dearly, but now its My turn to have children that are Mine. TimH Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/6/2004 3:27:37 PM   GLT: The line you want mate is : "Monkey see monkey do" We used to say that exact thing about Andrew as a child he would copy everything he saw us adults do :o))) Man Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/6/2004 5:30:26 PM   GL,I knew someone would bring that up, thats why I cautious devised the plan to slip in the word "certain" in front of "church congregations". And I by no means mean that all kids that go to even "certain churches" turn out good. But I still stand and say that there are way less messed up kids in church than outside. ........And the only reason I brought up the whole bloody church thing was to make the point that it all depends on the parents choices for their kids whether they turn out wearing baggy pants witha can of spray paint sticking out of their back pocket or not! ....... idiotdetector Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/6/2004 6:01:20 PM   Ive said it before and will say it again, these woman need help to suvive, not only desire it. If you think you are saving them, you are correct, if you think that they will be thankfull, again you are correct. If you think that they will thank you forever, that is not guarenteed. You have to look at the real reason these girls are coming here. And Ditto, I know you have made up your own mind (seems to be for children not against) as you should, but please, tread carefully. 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