Well My dear I am emotional about certain subjects one you will read about in a political thread I started regarding a certain subject.
But hey little lady, you do what makes you happy and makes your family work. If children are given a sound base at home, with love and nuturing, it really doesn't matter. I know of some stay at home mom's who are from wealthy means and don't work and their kids have ill manners, snobbish and uncooth. Tradition is about values that is what I'm looking for in a traditional woman. It doesn't mean being June Cleaver, and you probably don't know who that is but my American friends will. My traditonal lady will value family, character and integrity and have a spiritual side to her. That to me is traditional values, which in the west has been thrown to the wayside for material and personal gain.
I am pretty new to this forum so hear me out.
I live in Manchester England and am 38yrs old. I have been divorced now for 2 years and feel it is time for me to find a partner with whom i can share my new experiences with. I also still feel that i have a lot of love and energy to give to the right person.
Having been out in most of the nightclubs around Manchester i still feel that the English women are pretty bland and cold. It feels as though we are invading their territory if we try to approach them or even ask them for a dance.
I grew up in Manchester having an Ukrainian father and Italian mother and so i can appreciate the value of family life and commitment. I also feel as though Ukrainians are so much more passionate about life and family ways. They will fight for their rights and will never give up on their customs. I grew up in an Ukrainian cultural society and have never met such determined and proud race of people.
I cannot recall any Russian women here in Manchester although i do know of a few Ukrainian women here working at the Manchester Cultural club.
I have also just got back from Kiev a week ago with some friends of mine. It was my first time in my fathers homeland and i was completely smitten with the city and the people there. The women were so beautiful and well groomed. They dressed smart and were slim. They were very friendly to talk to and some of them actually spoke a little English.
So this is why i have now decided that i would like to meet and settle down with a woman from the Ukraine. The hard part now is trying to make a decision through all the wonderful applicants on this site.
I want to clarify the concept of the "stay-home wife/mom" a little better for those who keep mouthing off turd after turd whenever I say what my ideal woman is.
I do not support the idea of a woman having a job or career outside the home if there are children that need to be raised.
Having children and a career away from the home are direct conflicts.
Having a childless marriage and a career is NOT a conflict.
Bringing children to life used to be the most unselfish act a parent could ever do, because it meant you devoted years of your life to raise, nourish, educate and provide for your child(ren).
In essence you willingly gave up parts of your own life to serve the needs of the child you chose to give life to.
Those, like myself, who chose to have children accepted it as a fair trade off because it satisfied our biological need to Xerox copy ourselves.
These days women have no problem saying they want to have children, but they can't see past their damn noses that someone has to be there to raise the child for 18 freaking years!!!
Those who want to keep or have a career in addition to having children will fail both at work and as parents....just as miserably as the millions of families doing it today.
I know some do it out of need because they're single/divorced or sudden circumstances affecting the husband's income.
But the effects are the same nevertheless.
and Pitchka, before your blood starts boiling, please accept this is how things are here in the good old US of A, ok?
However things maybe in FSU in general or Ukraine in particular is largely irrevelant because most western men will not consider living there with their foreign wives.
I will never consider marrying any woman who thinks it's OK to go off to work while her children are raised by strangers or 'old enough' to fend for themselves.
If you do not want to give your children the years of your own life they need and deserve to be brought up...do not have children!!
The US SuperMom hero is a false character invented to give women hope that they can do it all (career, motherhood, marriage) while the reality is that all they managed to accomplish is a piss poor job at each one of them.
Toad I don't know what mom I will be myself in future, but I know that I grew up in the situation when my parents both worked, and they had nobody to leave with me, I stayed home alone, did homework alone, played with friends or alone, had dinners alone, tried to help my parents and cleaned something in the house and so on, but I have to admit that I enjoyed it, I felt like a grown up girl, and my parents always talked with me like that. Recently my mom said that she was sorry that I was often left alone, but then she said that otherwise I wouldn't (meaning me Ptichka) become who I became and she is proud of what I became, so in general that was good for me, and I enjoyed that situation a lot!!!
So from here all my thoughts about a woman developing herself and having children at the same time come from. I know that my was a success in that, and I know that it's possible to achieve that level as she did with some thinking and planning the day.
One of my ex-groupmates who is married and they have a child has such a life. Both she and her husband studied and worked and they raised their daughter...and they are success :) So if 2 people care about each other, and a husband doesn't want his wife to stick on the same level she was 5-10 years ago, at the time when he working will develop himself he will try to settle things like that so that his wife develops as well, and they keep being together, instead of getting bored with his wife and leaving her. I don't say that this is the only scenario for all families, but this is my view on this situaton.
Psychological and developmental studies have shown that children that are out into social and learning environments at the earliest possible time adjust better than children that stay home with mom, in fact it was discovered that the quality of time spent nurturing a child was more beneficial than quantity. There is a direct correlation to the effectiveness of a mother that has time away from the child. Perhaps less stress, more rest, a relaxed mind. in any event it has been learned that these children that go to schools and day care centers ) adjust to the stress and anxiety of social settings at a much earlier age, (good schools and centers)( this is why moms spend all she makes for day care because she has read these studies) These children experience less separation anxiety) The more serious situation discovered was at about the age of eleven when leaving puberty and entering adolescence, children need more support at home as well as more supervision this is the time for structure and parental consistency which aids in self learned discipline, latch key adolescents fair remarkably poorly when left at home alone so perhaps we should jettison archaic thinking and learn some new tricks.
I wrote this last paragragh about developental studies, and again even I fall into the generalizing trap, not all children fare well away from home at an earlier age, though most do, however some children do not deal with seperation anxiety very well.
I hate it when I see how easily we all seem to jump into this generalization mode, people are different and there are no molds. Will the glass ever be just a half a glass of water or does it have to be either a half empty glass or a half full glass?
Obviously you losers have forgotten how schizo your American wives were. For God sakes, women will be women. Russian ladies are of course better looking on the whole, there's a God Damn hot Miss America type on every corner in the former CCCP. But don't expect miracles just a lesser version of Hell then you might normally get here in the States.
Sancho, and do you really want you girl to be A Perfect Woman?? Without any weak sides?? Won't you feel bored or not good enough for her??? I doubt that being with a Perfect Woman will last for long...I may be wrong, but it's just my point of view:)
"... Sancho, and do you really want you girl to be A Perfect Woman??..."
"Won't you feel bored or not good enough for her??? "
Now, the 'not good enough' part is a bit of a problem!
When I find the Perfect Women I fear that she will be looking for the Perfect Man.
PS I did not introduce the term 'Perfect Woman' in this Forum - but it has come up several times in the nearly 40 pages...
(I would be happy with a nice friendly one, who can accept me - and stay nice and friendly...)
re."... .....that would certainly take too much thought wouldn't it???? ..."
-Assuming that that's a reference to "...I don't want too much 'unpredictability'... "
How does none think about 'unpredictability' ?
I am trying to study Chaos Theory, but I'm not getting very far.
And, I intend to win Gold Lotto (or whatever), but there seems to be a certain 'unpredictability', which gets in the way of my plans and thoughts!!