I have been writing this girl Vera #18357 who is on your site. She started writing me over a year ago from a different site. I have had no real warning flags go up until last week. Now I am questioning her legitimacy. Last week she told me that she had several things stolen from a bag of hers in university. Such things like a phone, passport etc. She is claiming that she cannot afford to replace these items, and was asking me if I could help her. Supposedly she realized this while class was still on. So I said to her, "why didn't you tell the professor and make sure the doors would be barred until the culprit was found". I got no reply to that. She just said she contacted campus security and nothing has been found. She has asked for $80 to replace the passport. Now I am not going to send her any money as I have been burned before. Does it cost $80 for a passport, or is that just a bit padded to try and get a bit more out of me? The phone she says cost $120, which seems a bit high for the Ukraine. Now its possible it did happen to her, so I am not so quick to denounce her. She has been so far good, with the only thing I found a bit questionable not that recently is that when I sent her flowers on her birthday, she exclaimed to me that she would never forget my birthday and asked when it was. Well, she forgot my birthday!! Now also, I sent her a sweater for Christmas from my university I went to. She said afterwards she would send me pics of her in it. Fine...but she said she could not read my address on the parcel it was sent in. I put it in big block letters covered by clear tape! Okay, I sent her again my address as she said she would not send them until she got my address again. ( Not from the package) When I asked about not receiving the pictures a month ago, she told me she sent them from the address on the package, but the pictures were returned to her. Now after she made the statement she would only send them after receiving my address again. To me now, something is fishy.
What is your opinion on this, and if you could look into her file if she is writing others and also asking for money. I don't wish to condemn her yet, but red flags are going up.
Bret please give us some time. We'll check on this lady and talk to the manager of her agency. ust to find out that its a true story.
As for asking others for money-she's been on our site for a while, and so far noone reported she did, but anyway we'll check on this too.
As for things being stolen from the bag in university-thats a normal thing here, few of my friends suffered the same way and nothing was found...so this can be true.
-As so often before, the information that 'just happens to be there' is interesting too:
1) Passport: Hardly a travel document (why bring a travel document to university) - more likely a sort of Identity Card (?)
2) Phone: Is now a necessary piece of equipment for university students.
3) some of the more geriatric amongst us can remember a time when the text books were the most expensive items in our bags at university - no mentioning in the post above...
1.Sancho here passport plays many roles and it's needed not only for travels inside the country, first it proves that you're who you say, then when entering the university, receiving scholarship, and doing many other things you need to show the passport.
2.Phone is a very necessary thing, at least it is for me:)
3. I can remember also the time when I wasn't able to afford all the textbooks I needed at the Lyceum (and my parents couldn't help me in that)...what can I say, luckily this changed!!!:)
Ptichka - The way is use your passport is same way we use our driver license. It also has our picture and is used for identification. Must show it to purchase cigarettes, beer, to write checks and to get into nightclubs and many other reasons.
:) OK but here the drivers license doesn't have such a right for usage like passport. By the way here you don't have to show passport when buying cigarettes, beer, or getting into nightclubs :)
"...By the way here you don't have to show passport when buying cigarettes, beer, or getting into nightclubs :)
..."
-I can buy beer - even Vodka - without showing ID (= for 'proof of age')
-signed: Geriatrix
hi Bret
I talked to the agency of this girl.Dont worry, they promised not to tell this girls that you were asking questions like this after a year of correspondence with her.The agency manager says she is a nice modest girl and asking for money is not in her habits,thats were the sircumstances at that moment, and since you've been corresponding with her for a long while, she thought may be you will be willing to help her. Actulally she even didnt wrote you about the costs of those things, untill you started asking her about it yourself.
About stolen passport and phone costs. To get a new passport costs around 10$. To get a lost passport restored costs 10$ paid in police office + 75$ official fee for restoration( paid in hrivnas).As for a phone-thats a normal price, because in Ukraine they get those things from Russia, and they get more expensive when they finally get to retail.
As for the photo-she really tried to send you those. I got a scanned one from the manager and will forward it to your address.
As for your birthday-sorry but she must have forgotten about it. Doesnt sounds good but that how it looks like. 20 yo girl forget things sometimes ;-))
The bottomline of this agency's manager( and by the way I am 100% agree with her): you've been writing to this girl for almost a year already. And now all of a sudden you doubt her legitimacy. Beleive me if she was a scammer you would have seen those red flags long before that.
Scammers usually dont spend years to write somebody. ;-)
Also...In my oppinion questions like this should be discussed with a girl directly. We can spend days finding out why you didnt get her pics, why she forgot your birthday etc..you could have called her and ask her those questions directly. No agency managers will ever explain you the situation better then the girl herself.
Guess what! Looks like Vera's agency couldn't quite keep it to themselves. They told all to Vera saying that I was checking up on her. I don't know why they would assure you that they would keep it with themselves. And of course I received a letter back from Vera stating that she is very upset with me and cannot see carrying our relationship even further. I was a little bit concerned with that when you mentioned you would contact her agency. But, there was also some red flags and some time you just have to know. That is of course if her agency is honest. I wrote her back apologizing, but I think its a done deal.
Bret, it was a situation when they had to ask girl whats going on. How would they find out what happened to your eddress etc????She was the only one who could explain this.This is not that they called her and said Listen, this guy asked us to check on you.
Yes we had to contact her agency. But how else we would get this information???Call girl durectly??And how I would explain her my questions????
So.. sorry if we disappointed you, but it was the only way to find out whats going on.
Well why there was also a possibility to play spies or detectives...but that would hurt the girl even more...then honest questions. At least it's IMHO:)
Bret,
Do not make any apologies to anyone, mate.
Specially the lady in question!!
If this particular lady terminates her correspondence with you, don't worry. There are many more women where that one came from.
What I do emphatically suggest to do in the future is tell every woman you start corresponding with that at one point during the correspondence you will ask a third party to verify her existence, references and character.
If you don't think this makes sense, walk into any bank today and ask for a line of credit for, let's say 1000 U$S.....and act offended when they ask you to fill up form after form to verify your credit worthiness.
If you're serious about finding a wife from FSU, it makes prefect sense for you to verify the character of the lady with whom you are going to make the largest emotional, socially and financial committment of your entire life.
Have been talking lately to a lady named Olga, also. She sounds really awesome and her pic's are beautiful! Still I am very hesitant due to current defense considerations, and now she is talking as if she is considering a passport in order to come and meet me?? Just need help/information!!
I can only echo comment by Nisse, you didn't arrange to visit yet?
What kind of ' relationship' is it when you've not met? and then you worry that she may be scamming you.
I would recommend same thing said by Toad but not to you, it would be to Vera, 'move on there plenty more serious men out there that will be serious about meeting!'
Hate to come across pedantic Bret, but if you start writing to someone, realistically you should be able and willing to travel within 6 or 9 months, any correspondence for the lady after this time is IMHO is stretching it, if the lady is serious she doesn't want to grow old waiting.
RJC, my friend, it has been said here before by guys who have had more time in this than me, it is wise not to give out too much information on your lady. I would suggest never giving out her ID number as this will increase the letters written to her if she is pretty! But since I have found my fiance, I will answer your question. No I am not writing to your girl! LOL. Even if someone else isn't writing to her, they may say they have and it will only make you wonder about her intentions. I say no names, no ids if you are smart. Just my opinion....