There are many topics lately regarding money. Here is another one. I’m going to Perm, Russia in a month to meet, for the first time, with my Russian lady. We have been in correspondence since March, but we know each other only by letters and phone calls only. Nothing like a face-to-face relationship though. I thinking about the possibilities that relationships sometimes just don’t work out even if we reach a point in our relationship where we become engaged. This is not what I’m predicting, but having been divorced, I’ve gained a bit more wisdom on life possibilities. I’m wondering about covering my bases, so to speak with a pre-nuptial agreement. Part of me thinks this is a bit of an insult to a woman or at least communicates issues with trust and yet another part of me tells myself that my home, car, pension, IRAs, savings and etc are venerable and I’m too far into my career to start over and re-build my financial assets. I think a pre-nuptial is a good idea, but I don’t know of a palatable way to broach the subject and leave the woman feeling positive.
I seek ideas on this subject. A woman’s point of view is helpful too!
Thanks
1) Most countries have rotten divorce laws
2) If you have reasonable assets, you need to protect them.
3) If you are in business (and can get into a debt situation) she needs protection from your creditors.
4) If you have children, they need protection.
5) You probably need a will as well...
6) Talk to a lawyer...
I don't know a palatable way to broach the subject!!
PS -and was your ex-wife a good house keeper? -she kept the house after the divorce??
Frank, according to one site online re: pre nups (an immigration attorney site), pre nups can be difficult as it can be declared later void due to the language barrier (ie she can later say she had no idea what she was agreeing to). I too have been married and divorced. I am now engaged to my russian fiance from my trip in July. So first, I wish you the best of luck. You will have a blast regardless. Just visit a lot of sites to brush up on traveling necessities, gifts to bring, etc.
I would also echo the thought of discussing the options with a good attorney. I have not decided what I am going to do about it myself. I hope three times is a charm and am just going to give it my all this time and hope...Well, I will probably discuss it with an attorney as well. But according to what I have read and heard, the idea of a pre nup can also create hard feelings due to cultural differences on this concept.
Thanks for everyones advise. I'm not too sure I want to bring up a pre-nup, and there is a culture gap. Who knows!
I've done my homework, picked out my gifts, learned social Rusian language so as to be polite, and I'm ready to go.
Wow where is Toad hiding, he can fill up a lot of space on this subject.
I look at it this way, I knew my ex wife a long time before we got married and the shit still hit the fan. Who can predict alcoholism.
So to me the time thing isn't the issue as much as it is the character
of the person. I think with these ladies here taking half of something they didn't have anything to do with would be a moral dilemma for them. I mean the honest ones, not the scammers. I took a beating before in divorce court and it may happen again, but I'm not even going into this with the perception that I should worry about protecting my assests. If this is the case then the lady I'm with is
the wrong lady. Pre-nup with is not a consideration. Would you be a little offended, lets say you would marry a Doctor from Russia or Ukraine and she says, Yes I will marry you and live in the states, but I require a prenup because I know what I can earn in the US compared to Russia and Ukraine. Just some food for thought.
I would be fine with the woman asking me to sign a prenup becasue I can understand the importance of having earned her income before we met. I have no problem with that at all.
".....PS -and was your ex-wife a good house keeper? -she kept the house after the divorce??..."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...good one, Sancho!!
Almost every woman in the US claims to be an excellent housekeeper, becuse they all intend to keep the house after they divorce the poor sucker who does not protect himself with a pre-nup.
Frank,
The topic of pre-nups has been beaten to pieces here and the debates on the subject usually bring drastically opposed opinions and colorful name calling, lol...
If you have something to protect because the marriage laws of your country are blatantly anti-male, do not hesitate to discuss it with your honey, but at the proper time.
I highly doubt that the first visit is the 'proper time', unless you're desperate to make any woman your wife.
Although I am the most adamant advocate for prenups in this forum, I strongly encourage you to be fair to your future wife and put provisions to protect her in case of divorce, death, disability, etc.
I can't understand pre nups, they have no legal validity in theuk, having one is a bit like admitting to failure or the possibility before you start, and anyway do we not vow"with all my worldy good I endow" The kind of marriage I envisage is one where there is no hers and mine. And maybe because I know the character of the girl, then I no I have no need to worry before hand.....Anyway, wonderful news, I am going to be a father again!!!!!
Frank Vans you said "I would be fine with the woman asking me to sign a prenup becasue I can understand the importance of having earned her income before we met. I have no problem with that at all." And would be the woman feel ok if you ask her to sing that thing???
I think that we discussed pre-nups already and everybody gave his opinion already, and it's just a matter of search here on the forum.
...not to the same kid I hope? :) Congrats me man, but that means your practice-sessions will be over then - ah well, self-inflicted injuries I suppose.
Curious - you'll be father or mother? ;-)
Thanks ptichka and thunder, funny enough, I will be the father, not officially confirmed yet but pretty sure, getting married early october, baby not an accident, can't believe I joined fiance.com in March:-)))
I wish you endless sleepless nights of joy and green mustard color diapers, lol....
And may you NEVER have to deal with a double dose of child custody hearings and community property dissapointments.
"...pre nups can be difficult as it can be declared later void due to the language barrier (ie she can later say she had no idea what she was agreeing to)...."
Should that happen, it would be 'natural justice' that any other agreement and contract she has signed is also null and void!
(which could 'cut both ways'!)
"...pre nups can be difficult as it can be declared later void due to the language barrier (ie she can later say she had no idea what she was agreeing to)...."
Should that happen, it would be 'natural justice' that any other agreement and contract she has signed is also null and void!
(which could 'cut both ways'!)
"...pre nups can be difficult as it can be declared later void due to the language barrier (ie she can later say she had no idea what she was agreeing to)...."
Should that happen, it would be 'natural justice' that any other agreement and contract she has signed is also null and void!
(which could 'cut both ways'!)