Interesting article in RW Gazette. Written by an interpreter.
I've been working as an interpreter for more than a year and I've seen plenty of would-be couples already. I thought that a fairly fresh perspective from a young Ukrainian lady might help you in your search. I should say that I admire Americans who come to find their destiny many miles away from their home. Only resolute and brave men can go on such adventure. Besides, for some of them it is their first travel abroad. That's part of the reason why sometimes American men face some problems...
In most cases they know that they want to find somebody very special and very good, because they have been disappointed by their previous experiences, but sometimes their requirements are too high. I totally agree that Ukrainian girls are the best, but they all are different. That's why a man should put some effort toward finding a girl especially meant for him and he should also be ready to collide with difficulties. As far as I'm able to judge, only a man who can get over all the difficulties and troubles, can reach the main purpose.
Of course, any man would like to have a young and pretty wife, but it is not always realistic. Most of the American men are more than 35-40, and they look for girls who are from 18 to 28. As a rule, I don't think that such relationships can be successful. I understand that many girls would like to leave Ukraine in the search of better life, but many times the man in question doesn’t even know exactly what he wants, so how can he know if he has chosen the right lady? Haven't the men thought that those young girls are not mature and it is just an adventure for them? I think that men should look for the girls who are closer to the same age as they are. Then they both will have more in common and will understand each other better.
Also a man should be more attentive to the personality of the girl, but not to her eyes, legs, hair... Of course each man understands that appearance is not the most important and nevertheless each man pays to it most of his attention. A man should exactly know what he wants: just a pretty face or a good friend and an understanding person to become an integral part of his life. Besides, a man should do all he can to be interesting to the girl and attract her attention, to be charming and natural at the same time. It also needs some efforts. Girls appreciate that very much, but my main advice is to be sure in yourself and to go up to the end until you reach the purpose… and then you'll excel. Good luck!!!
This is with out Doubt - the most accurate and valuable piece of advice Posted for sometime. (I agree Izi – there has been total rubbish / crap on here of late)
Those of you in the preliminary stages of searching for your "partner - friend for life" take note of what has been said above.
Compatibility is priority No:1
Another consideration -- If it looks to good to be true - "it probably is"
Men in the 40's - 50's can find what they want. You can find a beautiful women that will grace your arm and empress your friends. But more importantly you will have a partner / friend & lover - who will give you full and devoted attention and love.
Also remember - this love and devotion will only last if you maintain it.
I liken it to a Garden. You must keep watering and feeding it or it will wither up and die !!!!
These women will give back two fold what you put in. This is what has made me stick to looking for my partner in the FSU. We have women in my home country as good – BUT – they are taken and I do not qualify for such quality or luxury (due to obvious age – looks - $$ etc)
I have found someone that is perfect in every way. Our age gap 10 years. (38 – 48)
Don’t waste your time and money getting drawn into the pretty bimbo trap.
very true my lady is 36 and im 43 very good advice and like you have said she gives all she can in the relationship and will return more than any woman i have met and i didnt wont to raise another child
I'm 47 Larissa will be 44 August 28th. I agree with this post. Trust me fellows there are some knock out looking women in their 40's in Ukraine. Also the ingredient that jelled Larissa and I was out life experiences were very similar and based on our communication and time together we can almost predict how each other will react to a certain situation. Not all but most and the rest will be growth between us. Nice one Izi this was very good and I believe the most accurate thing I have seen posted.
Sorry fella's, the 20-30 year age difference isn't going to work. It's not an absolute but as us inarticulate cornfed hillillies in Indiana say, "That dog don't hunt!"
I have to agree with Hammer, Larissa has given back to me in our relationship all she has, and it is incredible. But the emotional and spiritual support she has given me is beyond belief. I don't know about you guys, but when a woman tells you she loves you, that is one thing, but when she says she trusts and believes in you that takes a relationship to a new level. One that I have never experienced.
This is one thread that i feel invested enough in to make a comment. I want to be the dissenting opinion that age difference is an absolute either one way or another. I want to speak on behalf of the guys who have fallen for woman significantly younger than them (in my case 25 years)....its not so much the age but the people involved. The absolute that a relationship with that much difference in the years is destined to fail is short sighted. One of the most significant things i have found in being with a girl from the fsu ,especially one from a poorer backround is the maturity much beyond their years,that has developed and given them a attitude on life that you just dont see in girls from the U.S.
It is absolutely true that there can be huge pitfalls in a relationship with big age differences,but what i have seen in other threads posted that a young woman only wants a older mans money and a older man only wants a younger womans body is superfical at best and generalistic at worst.
The feeling that a younger woman with a older man sees her realtionship as a adventure rather than a life commitment sells everone a bit short.
over the last year i have had numerous dicussions with my girlfriend about the downside of our relationship, the looks she will get here the whispers behind her back and the not so quiet inuendo, the knowing ignorant smiles ....all of this an more. If you truly believe she understands and believe that you love each other to throw away the chance for true love and happiness on the basis of precevid social norms seems like a horrible waste.
The challenges of loving someone from essentially another generation are huge and the need to realize what you have in common as well as how you differ is something that requires time and realistic expectations, on both your and her part. The commonality of life experience and goals is wonderful but is the opportunity to live and grow with a person who loves you only for what you are and not for what you have been any less valuable.
The true challenge is not the present ,for most of us are young enough in heart and soul as well as body to keep up with a younger woman. It is the future 20 years from now when the woman will be reaching their prime in many ways and we will all just be 20 years older, that is the challenge, to know you will reach your milestones in life alone,that will be a hard thing for both of you to accept but if you go to it with your eyes open ,and with realistic expectations, on both your parts.....it can be something where everyone wins.
The ying and the yang theory says that i supply what you are not and together we make each other complete, the men in this forum supply the life experience and hopefully the wisdom while the woman can supply the enthusiasm and possiblly the love of life that we have let slip away.
I guess what i am trying to say is that age is not a impassable wall but rather a speed bump that makes both of you look deeply inside to see what you truly want and need......I think for sure it takes more time but the best things are worth learning everything about and waiting for...........i beg to be the dissenting opinion
I am somewhat surprised by the postings concerning age difference. If we are looking for someone of similar age, can we not find such a person in our own country and save the time and expence? I suppose there is the adventure.
But that is not my point.
In doing the numbers on the site I've been on, there are ten times the number of beautiful women (without children, too complicated) in their 20's, looking for a man my age, 49, than here are women in their late 30's and 40's.
The problem is. Who are these beautiful young women going to marry? There are very few young men on these sites with the ability to support these women. Should they really be denied a chance for happiness and be destined to waste there away? I think not!!!
If it means I should sacrifice something for one of them. I am happy to do so. If in a few years they decide to spread their wings. With a smile I will watch them fly. And if it be I should help another. I can only think, how beautiful life is.
Bob
Quite the opposite. Most – myself included, started the FSU search with similar wishes to yours.
You mention your investment been worthy of qualified comment ??
How long have you and your “girl friend” lived together. You know – gone shopping – done the house keeping – budgeting – entertained friends – dealt with health issues or dramatic events etc etc
Your mention of ten times the number of beautiful “younger” women on Internet Sites is probably accurate – but what would you expect. Young women all over the planet that have youth and good looks will willingly promote themselves in hope of financial gain and dreams.
“Without children, too complicated” Mmmm – I hope you are not inferring that your future partner will not have the chance to become a mother ??? That wont wear well with a young lady from a “homely environment” background !!!!!
Your mention of “poorer background” &“who are these beautiful young women going to marry” & “If in a few years they decide to spread their wings. And if it be I should help another. I can only think, how beautiful life is”
I think these comments explain your motive and goals in your FSU search.
As for keeping up with a younger women – I personally have found women into their 30’s are much more exciting to keep up with, than their younger followers.
Also the comment made recently “a young woman only wants an older mans money and a older man only wants a younger woman’s body” was made by my Kiev Fiancée from 1st hand observation the other day. Wasn’t you on that Borispol Airport - Kiev bus 2 weeks ago – was it ????
gentlemen gentlemen.... as a man who has had a "mailorder bride" in the past. I can only make this observation. The time will come when your bride will have everything she needs to be independent in this country. It is at this moment that you will really find out why this girl has married you.... It does not matter whether there is a 20 year difference or a 2 year difference.
Like Adman says.... you may be watching your byrd spead her wings and fly away. i can sadly say that I have personally witnessed this and am not bitter in the least. I know if i marry overseas again, I may see this happen again but i will keep on trying. I do not regret my 1st marrige, it was the happiest 6 years of my life. I look forward to doing it again!!
Perhaps this is where the difference between you - adman and I starts and should stop !!!!
There is no way in hell I want my wife to have “return too sender” stamped on the back of her head. I went into this as a normal dating experience, aided by 20th century technology – not to order a wife like a latest CD release !!!!!!!!!!!
I am simply voicing my opinion (and it is only that “Mine”) to hopefully get some of the pending FSU daters to pull their brains out of their pants.
If you and some others (who must have buckets of cash) want to have “short term” relationships and then go through all the red tape and bullshit again & again – then go for your lives.
I see “adman” is a Kiwi like me. I wonder how far into this relationship he is. I wonder if he has hit the “NZIS” bullshit hurdles yet ????
If he has he must be a lot smarter than me and found an easier way of getting his “girl friend” home or love been punished and grilled like a mutton chop – if he is prepared to do all that again after his 1st partner fly’s the coop !!!!!!!
LOL Maxirat..... Your bride does not have a return to sender stamped on her head..... YOU DO !!! We have the oppertunity to meet dozens of FSU, the ladies do not. We will be able to select from so many because we have the money to do so. If an FSU gal does not grab the first one or two who comes along, who knows when/if another will come calling. So the ladies cannot be as selective as us. So when we undertake relationships such as these, you must accept the possibility that your relationship will be a short term one. Of course we all hope for a permanant relationship, I do not wish to marry again just for the sake of divorce. This is why i look overseas again for a suitable life partner. Even with all the risks involved, my chances of finding a permanant marrige partner is still greater this way.
BUT - why not throw a little logic and common sense in as well and get compatibility also. You know the compatibility that come from people of similar ages.
i dont mean to be a smart ass... but doncha think that any 2 ppl that work on their relationship will be compatable ?... I mean, im compatable with my cat even though he is 30 yrs younger then me. Shoud i be upset if he is humping on the neighbors cat?
Same with FSU women probably, we may be Mr right when she meets us and we may be mr right when being compared to russian guys, but what happens when that FSU gal comes here and sees how much better she could do then you... or that she doesn't need you ? all the reasons she came here for is suddenly gone and we may be too.
When we bring someone here from another country, be prepared that the person you bring here might "outgrow" you.... maybee not ! This is the harsh reality of our ventures. does that mean we shoud not still go for it ?
You are absolutely right about my motivation.
My goal here is to find a beautiful and exceptional woman.
You are way ahead of me in trying to bring your girlfriend to NZ
I thought NZ had the sloppiest immigration service in the world. You certianly would think so looking around here. Even the Asians tell me they are disappointed. They come out here for a holiday and it seems like they havent left home.
I do know the IS tell me I can bring a woman out here on 9mths free trial, no problems. Not a bad window.
My post was really about the numbers. People say here to go for the older women. The site Ive been chatting on has 8000 women but 38yrs up with a few criterior only produces 150 of those probably less than a dozen I find attractive. Not many for all of us to fight over. The real numbers are younger and much younger. If you have found your exceptional 38yr old woman your a very lucky man.
What lurks at the back of my mind is I've read on here that 80% of second marriages fail. I dont think many of us would go to the casino with those sort of odds. So my thought here is whether the relationship is short or long term we need to enjoy the journey and that perspective opens up a lot more options.
As for younger women: they will learn the language faster, they will retrain quicker, almost none of there qualifications will be excepted in the West, they will assimilate better and have far greater job opportunities. And dam they look good!
PS I like children but bringing them out from FSU definately could be complicated.
Maxi
All i am doing is expressing my opinion that similar ages doesnt assure compatabilty and that a significant difference in age doesnt preclude it .
Thinking that anyone who feels that way has "his head in his pants" is your predjudice not mine
Max , I have to praise you on this well done !
And thanks to Izi for the post ! As many of you I am 38
and I from experience have been married to a much younger girl 16 years younger Also to add she was (American) and to give you all a visual she looked like Julia Roberts without the big mouth , In my opinion It doesn't matter where the women is from , you need to be close in age ! or there are or will be to many difference's in your life . Maybe not now (the honeymoon) but a few years down the road ! If you are after a much younger women you need to do a soul search within your self .
Ok dudes – I will let go and ease off the “age gap” scenario – slightly !!!!!!
Adman – NZIS – Yes - I have had plenty to do with them. Been in there office in Moscow 4 times. Had 1 failure early 2004. Now going through it all again with Lena No:2
This time should be very different and better odds. I have just returned from 2 months living with my fiancée in Ukraine – this will bode well with NZIS qualifying “stable relationship” criteria. Yes Bob – a VERY important and needed stipulation they require before they will give your partner a Visa to visit NZ. (no such thing as a trial run) Fiancée Visa was canned Sept 2003.
If you think our NZIS is easy – boy you are in for a big shock. It obviously is for Asians with plenty of $$$ - yea no problem – just open the flood gates and let all those “side valves” in too set up the own factions and triad organizations !!!!
This is what I am coming at on this “age gap” thing. The staff ( I have met all of them and talked in depth with Yvonne Massey - the boss) will look at the age difference and compatibility factor. They will want proof of “Stable Relationship” – “timeframe of togetherness” engagement ring etc
Anyway – if you want more advice off forum let me know and I will email you direct
Izi
Where the hell have you gone ??
I am going to bloody well strangle you – starting this Post and winding my dial past the red line !!! then splitting the scene !!!!!
I have just read N()R’s post – you are there – aren’t you ????
Some input PLEASEEEEEEEEE
You guys are killing me.. Again??? Why can't you find yourself playmates your own age?? LOL
Seriously: I think 10 years is maximum! I know people are saying 15 and so on.. May be it can work for some, but I think 10 is more realistic to be honest. I am 38, and I don't want to waste my time with a 24 yo.. I know it isn't realistic in the long run.. and what does she actually see in me? ok.. I look great (LOL) but still... I could almost be the father.. Would you find yourself a woman that is 65 yo? Would you at all find her attractive?
To meet women from FSU countries, or in fact woman at all is fun, but if you want it to last a little longer than a couple of years you have to ad some realism to the deal. You have to be realistic. Ask youself some hard questions, and don't be afraid to fail!
Let us put failiure in perspective!
Do you know that your doctor didn't really know how to treat illness when he or she left school? They spent all those years studying ABOUT diseases, symptoms and cures. They didn't spent much time at all learning HOW to cure. That's where you come in. Every patient is a new experiment. As well, every new person you meet is a new experiment. Thus, gather up information, knowledge and experience; keep track of what works and what doesn't work - but GET TO WORK!
Nobody likes to hear "no". Some people go out of their way to avoid "no's", but not wise people. Many salespeople actually make it their goal to get a certain number of "no's" everyday. Why would the focus on this? Because, if you're going after a number of "no's", you can't help but get "yes's" along the way.
And NEVER call them "MAIL ORDER BRIDES". Those words tend to leave a nasty taste in your mouth, don't they?
Don't let fear rule your world - make it your ally. What do you have to lose?
Being alone on Saturday night???
The last part was something I pasted from one of my older threads "Success or not".
I think it is something to think about when it comes to fail.. Don't be afraid to fail, but be realistic!! Do you really think this 21 yo woman find a 47 yo man sexy or attractive at all?? Would you if you were a woman? Probably not!
Sorry for killing some fantasies out there (again), but this is how it is.. life is hard, and it isn't supposed to be simple.. These young women does not see you as handsome guys, you are the ticket out of there.. sorry.. The reality is hard!
But.. find someone closer to your own age, and the pictures changes dramatically.. in your advance!! - At least you migh have a chance to be happy again!! Good luck!