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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > How many stories have a good ending? Author Post djk0811 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/25/2011 8:38:22 PM   I recently ran across a blog site claiming to be for men who have been scammed by agencies or women from the FSU. Pages and pages of men telling their stories about losing money, wasting time etc… etc… What caught my attention were the numbers of stories of men who brought a woman back home, got married had children only to get divorced a year or two later or worse yet have domestic violence charges filed against them. I have personal knowledge of five couples in my part of town. One was a messy divorce and cost my friend his life savings and pension, 2 friends had domestic violence charges files by their spouse and 2 are happily married (one for about 2 years, she was already in the US and not part of a “site”, the other I would categorize as an “old style mail-order bride”. They have been together 10 years now.) My point is; how organized are the “domestic violence scams”? From what I have read and what I have seen in my friend’s relationships, this seems to be a valid strategy for some women to get a green-card and clean out a man’s bank account. This has to be the ultimate scam, meet a woman on-line, court her, travel back and forth, navigate the fiancé-visa maze, get married and have children – only to have the police knock on your door one day. She gets to stay and takes you to the cleaners. Fortunately for my friends; their ex-wives abuse stories unraveled and charges were dropped. But still the BS and emotional toll has to be staggering. I know this is throwing gasoline onto a fire but how real is this threat and should I waste time worrying about it? What is the percentage of happy endings to horror stories??? lonelyranger1701 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/26/2011 8:09:26 PM   Hi, djk! I have not seen the numbers with my own eyes,, but,, I was told about some info that came from the INS! This is second hand knowledge. For every 100 men, who either join a website,, or,,, fly over for a wife,,, only 4 will get married!! And of those 4 men,,,, only one marriage will last more than 3 years!!! Three years is now the average time for a "Green Card"!!!! I have no way of knowing if that one man is happy or not??? I was one of the three men,, and it did not last!! durak Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/27/2011 1:03:51 AM   As a numbers guy, I would be very interested to see reliable statistics on international marriages. As far as I know, no one has get collected meaningful data. As to the question, "how organized are domestic violence scams," I have read about (but not actually seen) websites in Russian that give detailed instructions for using the domestic violence ploy to get US residency without having to long put up with a man you don't actually care about. So I guess, the answer is "organized enough, to have online how-to guides." baron555 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/27/2011 10:46:53 AM   I personally know of 18 couples, many together more than four years, that are happily together. As with our current media, you only hear about the sensational stories and not the feel good stories. I'd say the stats are better than what you read or hear snout on the forums. Uncle Bingo Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/27/2011 12:56:47 PM   durak........... You should post the site info and see if the moderator allows it. I think they have cyrillic font here, so even a cut and paste should work. I've only heard limited info about this problem, and really, only recently. FSULover Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/27/2011 1:53:23 PM   I won't venture to say that my current marriage will last more than three years because the future is full of surprises and nobdy knows what the future holds. However, I will qualify my marriage within the sucessful category and not part of any type of scam. She is sure that she will return to Russia should anything bad ever happen that separated us. I would say that the lower the desire to leave her country originally, the greater the chance for a successful marriage when the woman finally makes the decision to leave everything behind for the future of her new family. kiwinorth Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/27/2011 3:28:40 PM   DJK,, this is red tape stuff that appears from somewhere every so often, but really has no relevance to anything i feel. a govt group or persons trying to depress others of the bad things in life:) when you think about it, people who do this or most anyway don't tick a box or fill out a form telling of their positive or whatever ordeals, so how can any statistics be truly worth noting. i know of more people on the positive side here then divorce so it just doesn't ring true to me.. i have heard of some interesting ones on the divorce side, one her mother pushed her into it for an extended holiday, she told his sister all the dirty details as she drove her to airport. the other that tickles me was a guy who did it all over the internet, found a doll, met her at NZ airport,(this was common here) everything was to perfect, she even had money, lots of it, then one day he come home from work and his house was full of nasty Russians, they told him to forget her, daddy's been looking for his little girl, do not get in-touch with her ever again and she was gone. Harvey Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/27/2011 5:53:22 PM   I'll let you know in 20 years. In the mean time I agree with FSULover. However, I do know of 2 other couples near here that have made it to the 6+ year mark. Both with Russian gals. beemer18 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/27/2011 7:02:50 PM   I read an article several months ago in re to international marriages. For those looking for statistics, it read that a whopping 59% of those marriages were succeeding( most in the 5-10 year range), only caveat was in response to the age difference between the couples......for the ladies it was 8 years and for the men it was 9 years. Out of several hundred respondents only 2 couples that had an age difference greater than 12 years were still married( I think it was 12 & 16 years). Big odds for many here....... lonelyranger1701 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/28/2011 7:39:14 PM   kiwi; The average is more than 50% for divorce here in the U.S. and much higher/worse in Russia and the Ukraine,,, so how can you know so many more successful relationships? The numbers are depressing,,, but it is the truth! I think it is far better to know this before starting,, to know if you have the stomach for it or not??!! I knew a lot of this info before I started, I wasn't new at it. However,,, if I had any idea, that the new internet version of foreign dating was so, so,,,,,, so,,,, ah,,, crooked, I may not have tried it??!! Oh,, yeah,, people are more likely to write something,, if it is a complaint!! I'll start writing about my latest experiences soon..... lol!! beemer; where is this article?? Many couples do have a larger gap in their ages, that's what brings the average down!! For someone who is in their 40's and 50's or older,,, and wants to start a family,, what other choices do you have?? No, adoption is not an option for me. beemer18 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/30/2011 4:59:00 PM   ranger....if you want to have a family, your chances for a lengthy marriage is not good with a much younger wife.....I am probably in similar position as you. got info from several sites, here is where most came from: http://www.articleshmarticle.com/Art/175094/345/Russian-Women-Mar riage-and-Divorce-Rate-Stats.html here are some other interesting ones: http://rawstoriesoflife.blogspot.com/2010/03/russian-women-foreign-mar riage.html ( love the 1 comment) http://russianwomentruth.com/what-many-russian-women-think-about-foreign-hu sbands/ ( guys with russian wives...do they agree with article?) kiwinorth Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/30/2011 6:18:42 PM   ranger,, yeah i dont know, but this is something i have searched out myself, keeping my ear to the ground here, looking for reasons why i shouldnt. the positive amounts were good to hear and most divorce's were replace by another russian girl. maybe american men who have gone through the divorce were really not ready for this kind of relationship or any in long term relationships or just maybe picked wrong from the beginning.. i actually wondered this of myself, life is really easy without them ya know:)) we get stuck in a routeen thats easy and simple, then life really changes when she comes along.. hey beemer this younger wife thing,, its a garrented stuff up when its about a trophy wife yes, and how many guys play that game, a lot I'm sure pick Cinderella looks over miss average,, such a common mistake, but guys are guys:) so again i will not be pulled into silly statistics of disasters that were set in motion from the beginning.. in the end its who fits into your life style,, like my search changed massivly in russia from big citys to small unknown areas where girls live a more simple country life. i just couldnt see a city girl living my dream, beaches forest, more beaches more forest more beaches and more forest which is where i live in a not so flash house which is self-efficient on electricity, uses wood for cooking heating largely, even hot tub is about collecting wood on the atv with chainsaw.. people have to be realistic of who they are and who could live that life with them. lonelyranger1701 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/31/2011 1:21:50 AM   Thanks guys!! I don't have much time here, as I must get up in 6 hours, to drive to the airport!!! I'm going to Sumy!! My Father always says;,,, If something starts bad,,, it'll finish good!!?? Well,,,, I have had an ear ache for 2 days,,,,and I fly out in 10 hours. I've done everything but put leaches in my ears!!! lol I know,,, chew gum and take a decongestant!! I'm 46 and she's 27 and just a simple girl,,,,, I hope?? But,,, I'll find out soon! See ya in a few days!! Harvey Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/31/2011 11:57:34 AM   in response to beemer - I asked my wife about dating Russian men. She was most emphatic about the fact that she could not tell a local man about her education and accomplishments. That she had to pretend she was stupid in order to date a man because they feared an educated/accomplished woman. She told me men just wanted a woman to keep the house, cook dinner and stay home while they spent time with other women. There was a lot more to her reasoning but I found that amazing. I challenged her that it could not be true, but she defended her position... One interesting thing is a couple weeks ago I stayed late at work. I intended to but didn't tell her in the morning. As I was leaving work my phone rang and she was wondering where was I. She was worried that I wasn't home and didn't call her - I usually do. I don't point this out because she is jealous or even has such thoughts (maybe?), but that she was expecting me home sooner and had not heard from me. Maybe I have her spoiled by letting her know my whereabouts at all times. One thing I can say for sure. You can't lump them all into a certain category. Same goes for Russian men. There are enough American deadbeats to go around too. kiwinorth Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/2/2011 3:15:51 PM   I'm sure i got asked more then once in russia, maybe second time it wasn't so direct,, "what is it like to live in an uneducated country" (new zealand, Australia) now i think about it, i have never dated such educated women here as i have over there,,, this girl at the moment explains to me the in's and outs of my language, how it was developed. these girls amaze me with what books they will pick up and read,, anyway of late she has acquired a few cook books. Maxirat Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/6/2011 3:07:17 AM   Yes Kiwi - there is definably something wrong with Kiwi women in the head department !!!! I am convinced - the wine has something to do with it. They are getting dumber and dumber and memory is terrible and lack of self respect etc etc I am in Kiev now (12 months since last visit) - 1st few days I kept saying how skinny the women looked NZ looks a bloody mess now - disgraceful sights !!! Muzzy Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/6/2011 4:07:49 AM   I'm sure one could ask in reply "what's it like to live in a corrupt country?" - especially when it comes to education (well, in Ukraine, anyway). I know so many people over there with masters degrees. In the UK, the norm is to get a bachelors, but this isn't even considered higher education over there. Given that they do 5 1/2 years and get a masters as standard, I once asked a friend of mine why they can't get work abroad... ..."because so many people just buy their degrees, and don't actually study." Around much of the world, a Ukrainian degree is considered worthless! Harvey Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/6/2011 9:25:38 AM   interesting muzzy - As we were heading out Friday I was explaining the ins and out of 'higher education' here in the states over the years. And how those with money went to college and those without went to work. I think it all started over a discussion of February as some history month or something. "What do you mean it is black history month?" She did not relate it to people of color. She thought it was about something bad. hmmmmm? As a side note I still check "other" when asked about race on applications since there is no 'European American' category. I just write it in. Anyway the subject got around to who went to college over the years etc. She told me point blank that the people with money pay teachers, professors etc to get good grades. So it is also common in Russia for those with big rubles to buy a degree. But numbers wise there are far more educated people who earned their degrees. I also know that in Russia if you are on a free scholarship in a serious program, if you fail one test you are dismissed from the program. I do know this to be fact for those who cannot pay for their grades. Then you must wait a probationary period and reapply to get back into the program. Of course this is for a serious program. And don't kid yourself, Russia is just as corrupt if not more so than Ukraine. Maxirat Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/6/2011 10:10:46 AM   All Ukraine education papers of qualification are totally worthless outside Ukraine - in ALL other countries BUT - the point being - they are a lot smarter here in Ukraine - women are that’s for sure ITs not about IQ's etc - its all about not been spoilt and lazy They work hard to get what they have and they think for themselves because they have had too to survive and better themselves and give to their children the best they possibly can. That’s the difference - they don’t have a social welfare system to fall back on like us. All women I know back in NZ don’t actually know what hard work and tuff conditions actually are, just completely spoilt !!!!! durak Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/6/2011 10:19:03 AM   Not many weeks ago, I read an online article about bribing teachers and schools in Russia, to get good grades and/or degrees. According to the article, this problem is growing -- getting worse and worse, as parents become a little more affluent and worry about their childrens' futures. That being said, some of the FSU women I have met impressed me deeply, with their knowledge, intellect, and accomplishments. It's very rare for me to encounter their equivalent here in the USA. Perhaps (only speculating here) the degree-buying phenomenon is relatively recent, and isn't an issue for degrees that were earned during, or within a few years of, Soviet times. 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