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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > Narrowing The List Author Post Ditto Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/29/2004 1:23:23 PM   I have been at this search now for about 3 months. Between the ladies I have chosen to write to and the ones that chose me, there are currently 12 on the list. It is time to narrow the list. One of my questions is how many letters do you think it should take to get the ladies to open up more? Some are not asking anything of significance of me, but are answering my questions. I want to get the feeling that they are concerned about their future and will not settle for just anyone. Do I assume that the ones not asking questions are not serous enough or could they truly be that reserved? I have asked them repeatedly to ask serious questions of me. What criteria do you gentleman use for deselecting the ladies? michaelbutler Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/29/2004 1:40:09 PM   Thats a tuff question.I started with eight got down to two and found even though they seemed the most sincere.They were not at all sincere to say the very least.Now my list is down to 0 ? If the letters are not 50/50 between the two of you then try to find the lady who is.My problem is I went for the model like woman who got 200 responces.I am learning the hard way looks are not the whole package.Anyway if she isnt answering your questions then she most likely has a busy schedule writing others.I had met a few ladies who would answer every question in detail.Maybe those were the ones I should have stuck with.From what I have learned this can be a candy store for them as well as it can be for us.I hope this helps but for the most part I stand in the same place as you.It is very hard to figure out the sincere from the players. crashnsplash Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/29/2004 1:43:20 PM   Ditto, I had the same type of letters. Just answering my questions but never really wanting to know about my life or family. I was writing to a few for 5 months before my girl appeared in my life. When she appeared it was like a ton of bricks hit me. Believe me, you'll know when it happens. Within a month or so I eliminated all the others. I think its probably different for each girls personality before they begin questioning you in depth. I can't really say what criteria I used. I could usually tell within a few letters whether they were serious or not. Took me 6 months of searching before I found her, but that dosen't make a difference. Some are lucky enough to find their ladies right away. michaelbutler Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/29/2004 2:00:41 PM   I just wanted to add that when I joined this service I had it in my mind that Russian women are so despret to leave there country this would be a breeze finding my lady.That I have learned is the farthest thing from the truth.They are like any other woman as far as being smart and selective.If she truly wants to know you she will ask and answer as many questions as you want.I have learned very much so far with the help of many on this forum.Like crash said you will know when you find her. Dale E Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/29/2004 2:02:34 PM   Ditto -Many women are shy and tend to stay in a reserved mode of letter writng. Sometimes by asking personal questions about parents, what are your likes and dislikes of job, and so on make them open up a bit. Your goal here is to find yourself one woman.I would look at it in a different perspective, Who will I keep writting to, instead of, whose hitting the trash bin. I assume a few ladies tend to grab your attention more than others. Michaelbutler- You seem to be in a better mood than you were a few days ago. Ready to get started again? :o) michaelbutler Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/29/2004 2:10:22 PM   Yes I am I know how to do my homework now and I also know how to see the signs of ladies who are not sincere.It was a painfull way to learn but I will not let one lady bring me down.I know there is a good woman waiting.Starting over again is good.Now I can take more time to plan a trip to Russia and have more time to look for my gem. GLTALLTOAD Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/29/2004 2:18:12 PM   Atta boy Butler...!!! Ditto, any woman from anywhere in the world will be attracted to yuo if you approach her with confidence. Ask her questions about anything and tell her what concerns you about your correspondence with her with confidence, as well... crashnsplash Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/29/2004 2:35:25 PM   Thats the way to do it Mike, some lucky lady in FSU is waiting for you. Now get out there and find her! =) dma Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/29/2004 2:37:11 PM   I found that the bulk of letters were a complete waste of time and the more ladies you're writing to, the less of yourself you're able to convey. As fast a typer as I am, even half a dozen is hard work. And when you find the right one (which btw. "When she appeared it was like a ton of bricks hit me" is very true) you'll find yourself spending the bulk of your time writing anything and everything to her that by comparison makes your previous generic letters look like total rubbish barely skimming the surface of a serious relationship. Personally, I would recommend avoiding the "popular" girls and find one that has slipped through the net that likely has few responses (and there are quite a few of them) but still what you're looking for. The popular ones are far too bust sending off generic quite shallow and of little substance letters, receiving tonnes of offers and presents from guys. Again, as much as we have selection and choice - they do too and aren't ashamed to take advatange of it. Maybe the problem is the "deselection" but the "selection" that's the problem. dma Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/29/2004 2:38:33 PM   >>> Maybe the problem is NOT the "deselection" but the "selection" process. crashnsplash Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/29/2004 2:40:53 PM   Yes your right about the multiple ladies. When I started I was gung ho and wrote like a bandit. I thought it was funny reading the forum back then about the guys that only had one lady. Little did I know that after a few months of writing like crazy, I was wore out and almost quit. Realized then that those guys I was laughing at were the smart ones dma Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/29/2004 2:45:15 PM   > Realized then that those guys I was laughing at were the smart ones ;) ...and some us won't wear a tie ;) As a time saver - because writing letters can take hours - if you can, I would recommend a phone call to hear what they're like. If she can't remember your name, isn't there to answer your call as arranged, is bland and uninteresting - cross her off. michaelbutler Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/29/2004 2:50:24 PM   I agree DMA we were in the same boat,You know that LOL. Today I sent my first letter to a lady who has not got many letters sent to her.I will see how it goes. Ditto-Pay close attention to people on the forum and never be affraid to ask anything.Trust me my forum friends saved me alot of time and money because I brought my concerns to them.They also gave me the support not to give up when I felt crushed by a certain lady. I was ready to call it quits for good but as you see.They gave me a kick in the pants lol- dma Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/29/2004 2:50:48 PM   I was knackered after the first month; but fortunately that tonne of bricks hit us both into the 5th week and so I consider myself lucky or is it just fate? Try to be unique - looking back at those first few letters (which of course have to start somewhere), they're so bland and predictable that you need something different to stand out from the crowd. The way in which you write is ivery mportant and if you can find the right words when expressing yourself that she's able to identify with and share - you've likely crossed the first hurdle and for many that first hurdle seems so high. dma Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/29/2004 2:54:05 PM   Yes, we were for a short time on the same boat but thankfully I brought my paddle! ;) Good luck with the new strategy Michael, I think it's a very good one to adopt but as with anything (apart from dying) - no guarantee - only an increased chance of success. michaelbutler Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/29/2004 2:59:00 PM   This time around I have the take it or leave it attitude and wont put so much of myself into the lady untill I feel for sure she is worth it.Just day by day thats all I can do for now. TimH Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/29/2004 3:21:54 PM   Ive met mine, and had a great time with her for 10 days, but Im still taking things one day at a time, I agree with you completly Mickael and you will always have any support I can give you mate. michaelbutler Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/29/2004 3:25:50 PM   Thanks Tim I will Probally need it sooner or later with my luck LOL dma Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/29/2004 3:29:40 PM   Uncle Tim, will you (financially) support my trip? lol ...Go on Uncle Tim, "you know you want to" ensata Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/29/2004 3:35:23 PM   When I first started writing to the girls I wrote irrespective of how many letters she may have received. Even the 'popular' girls would write me back, but usually superficialy. Then as DMA has already suggested I started to write (or continue to write) to only those girls with few or no letters. What a difference in the letters. Before Lucy hit be like a ton of bricks, I was carrying on good sincere 2 way conversations with five girls. It is amazing how many attractive educated and nice girls have few letters. I found it helpful to look at the secondary photos of some of the girls whose primary photo was nothing special. I could get a new view on some of these. Also some of the girls who initially look plain compared to others may simply have non-studio photos, and are every bit as attractive as the touched-up professional studio gals. Russian brides > Main Forum > Narrowing The List
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