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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > "High Maintenance" - what are the warning signs? Author Post Buran_Fan Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/21/2004 8:50:57 PM   Hi everyone - I've been busy, so I haven't been posting recently, but I've been reading. . . I had to add my 2 kopeks here: "A good girl wakes up and says, 'Good Morning, Lord' A bad girl wakes up and says, 'Good Lord, Morning!' :-) Seriously, sancho's concerns have some degree of validity. I recall other threads here which discuss what the young lady really means when she writes that she wants someone 'financially stable'. Another thread discussed ladies who considered themselves 'simple' girls, yet 'simple' implied something other than what could be considered 'middle-class' here in the US. Wessman, I think your advice, while well-intended, is a bit extreme. For a moment, think of us (Russian women and foreign men) as a commodity. Over 35000 ladies have had a profile on this site at one time or another. Their primary photo is their 'sales pitch'. I bet most men's first impression of a lady is based on this photo. How does a lady set herself apart from the others on this site? Similarly, what are we men doing to attract attention in our profiles? I bet that in 99.9% of our primary pictures we're wearing a suit. However, what other pictures have we posted to attract attention: * Wearing a muscle (or no) shirt to show how athletic we are; * Standing next to our brand-new Saleen; * Some other pose implying how cool/athletic/brave/rich we are. Packaging, my friends! It gets your foot in the door, but you need to 'read between the lines' and 'test the waters' in order to seperate the real ladies from the scammers and those who simply want a 'Sugar Daddy'. Again, the old advice is worth repeating: Keep your eyes open, take your time, and think with *both* heads. Good hunting to all! Bob wessman Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/21/2004 9:27:15 PM   Well im my primary photo I am not in a suit I am much sharper that that I am wearing a tuxedo, and my other photo is no shirt, spandex shorts, a ROD in one hand and a giant fish in the other. I never said the photos are not most important they are but I still contend that if you do not build a two way emotional bond you will be moving to the next photo and then the next. 3-4% of the men hunting here make it over seas for an in person meeting. To be successful you have to write substantive letters to the women and then entice them to do the same, hey unless you want to spend a hundred dollars a day talking on the phone three ways! wessman Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/21/2004 9:28:51 PM   What's a Buran never herd lol that here in Tamba Bay!! Buran_Fan Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/21/2004 11:10:27 PM   Buran (Boo-rahn): (1) Snowstorm (some say it specifically refers to a type of snowstorm in the steppes of Kazakhstan) 2) Name of the first Soviet space shuttle (check out www.buran.ru) My fascination is with the second, not the first :-) Buran_Fan Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/21/2004 11:32:31 PM   You think only 3-4 percent actually make the trip to Russia? That's kinda depressing. What do you think the other 95+ percent expect to get out of this without going there? I suppose those guys are the fodder for the 'I-love-you-send-me-money-for-visa' gang. You're on target about writing letters with some substance. I actually send slightly personalized introductory letters, asking about things that they've mentioned in their profile. The response can usually tell me whether or not they actually read my letter, and whether or not to keep writing. FWIW, in my primary photo I'm wearing a turtleneck. idiotdetector Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/22/2004 8:01:40 AM   Shit shit and more shit. Photos, letters, what do they mean. Well in my opinoin they mean shit. I have been to FSU more than once and My best advice, just go. Do I write letters, sure, why not it gives me an excuse to go sometimes but 30 minutes in the same room will tell you more than 1000 letters. Sanch, get off your ass and go. Where? you say. Well having been a few times All I can say is this. If you want to see the sites go to Kiev for example. But you seem like a man with a budget so go to Gorlovka maybe. At least half the price and prettier girls. I was dead set swapped with girls who liked me. Why, well as they said, you are such a nice open hearted person. That was all. Not full of shit and no one liners. How to tell if they are high maintainence. Well while you are there, and make it soon. Take them to dinner for a start and as it is there city let them choose the resturant that will be a good sign for a start. If you are lucky within a few days she will ofer to cook you something. That also says a lot and when finished a good girl will tell you to sit and she will clean up. A lot can be judged around food.They say the way to a mans heart is though his stomach so take her down that path and learn something about her. Ptichka Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/22/2004 9:02:18 AM   "I bet that in 99.9% of our primary pictures we're wearing a suit. However, what other pictures have we posted to attract attention: * Wearing a muscle (or no) shirt to show how athletic we are; * Standing next to our brand-new Saleen; * Some other pose implying how cool/athletic/brave/rich we are." Buran_Fan...don't generalize, please, there are different girls, and some don't like suits, some don't like something cool, but like conservative way of dressing. Have to admit that myself I don't like men with any muscles...I like a thin very tall men's fugure...and I think that a photo should show who you are...maybe some sudden photo which will tell many times more then done by a professional photographer with much preparing and so on:) And I completely agree with ID, not many people are able to show who they are through letters, just because they are shy or don't like to write...when you spend at least 10 minutes with a person or even less you will know many things. I know that my first look at the person will tell me in general who he is and how should I behave with him, but this is just intuition which works fine for me:) wessman Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/22/2004 10:06:31 AM   Hey Id I agree there is nothing better than a meeting in person, I have heard nothing of your last trip there, did you have a great time and did you meet her, your future wife, most likely not, see some of us are looking for a wife not a trip overseas to screw some girl we are blowing smoke up her skirt about marriage. If I remember right you went over there to meet a girl you had been writing to, but you two had some differences, when that did not work out you had a holiday. This is my stand you went with out the mutual emotional attachment. You showed up and she had a different version of sorts going on in her head. So you went to an agency and what is the rest of the story. I do not know what country you live in, when I say three to four percent make it over seas to actually meet a woman they are corresponding with I am talking American. I do not make the numbers up. If you meet a woman have her ask the agency she is going through how many American men visit each month: if any; one per month, maybe. Me personally I am not sure I know what I am doing but I want to meet a woman and get married so I want to build a bond and have that chemistry already established before I go over to her city and country. That takes letters, phone calls, air mail, photos, honest communication, other wise there are two scenarios, one the emotional bond never forms and you just keep looking, or you get over there and there is no bond and the woman is still holding on to this Ideal of the man she wants to marry and you have not lived up to her expectations. Writing letters of good quality and of substance though it is hard work will help the people remodel the ideals they have for the mate they are looking for. This is basic psychology and human behavior. If you do not form a strong emotional attachment with a woman before you meet the meeting most likely will never happen and if it does you will return disappointed and further the disappointment in a woman in the FSU. We all have different desires, and what works for me might not work for you, especially if you are not serious about finding a WIFE! A lot of people here dream a great dream but don't know how to live it. Kind of like the Olympics only one gets the gold. Go Ukraine six gold medals as of yesterday; I was pretty impressed with Yuri Nikkatin. Don't take this personal, I just think there is a better shot if you set the meeting up right from the start. jjbarrier Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/22/2004 3:14:18 PM   I have to absolutely agree with Wessman - the way I look at it is that a relationship forms through people communicating, and if they happen to live close enough they can do so through spoken language, but in our case letters will have to suffice, at least for a while. I know it may seem awkward to open up to someone through writing, and it is a time consuming process, but at the same time it also gives you a chance to formulate your thoughts more concise than you might otherwise in the course of a conversation. Also the distance provides (for me anyway) also some security, because if I say something stupid, chances are low my friends are ever going to find out, whereas it's a local girl it might be in the gossip cicuit so fast it'll make your head spin. ID is certainly right in that pictures don't mean much, and letters could be faked, but if you take the time to read them, ask questions, and see how well they are being answered you should still be able to form a good idea if the other person is really interested. And, from a practical point of view, most men from the US can't take the time that easily to go to the FSU meeting women just on a hunch, we just don't have that much vacation, and it takes pretty long just to get there. Europeans certainly have an advantage there. groon Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/22/2004 4:33:58 PM   I just want an Angel with a bit of a devil inside not the other way around. groon Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/22/2004 4:52:21 PM   jj: Yeah I didn't know how long it took to just get there until yesterday when I started checking out airfare, hotel rates, and car rental fees. A trip there is no small undertaking for an American. I wish I could treat it as casually as I would a trip from southern California to New York City. wessman Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/22/2004 5:07:57 PM   yeah and you want to get there and have your meeting to be a crap shoot she might like me she might not you know she loves me she loves me not. The sun the moon and the stars do not have to be perfectly aligned for love to happen it is the coming together of two hearts and then some work. BrianM Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/22/2004 6:58:08 PM   I have been reading through this thread and wanted to add some things. Really there won't be many warning signs until you actually meet in person. You can write as much BS as you want in letters but until you physically meet in person you won't know anything. The girls know this too. Alot of what they write they do to simply test you to see if you have any real interest and possibly to generate interest. So you will know absolutely nothing from their profiles or letters but just a few nice general facts about themselves (mostly vague). More than likely they won't tell you the truth about their lives anyway. There is a FSU custom that many people won't talk about bad things. Almost like an iron-clad denial of bad things ever happening to them and the circumstances they have in life. So they sort of create a dream world for themselves of what they would like to have. I can tell you many of the profiles you see are girls and their dreams. Real life that they experience every day differs quite a bit from what they post and share. Many women will post that they like to shop and also take trips. Why? Because the cost of clothing and other goods locally is outrageous. It is very common for people in the Ukraine to travel to Turkey to buy clothes and other items. Because they simply cannot afford to pay $200 for a dress locally when that is an entire months (or possibly more) salary for them. They can buy a round trip ticket to Turkey from Kiev for $50. Then buy the same or similar dress over there for another $30 or less. So of course the girl will write she likes to travel and shop. In reality though it is simply economics and being smart. However she won't say this - but generally that is how (at least my girl) thinks. Then she will share her tales of travelling to extravegant places with friends and family - and you. She just neglects to tell you why or the real hidden reasons she likes to travel. So you can't really tell anything from their short profile descriptions that I can see. There are no warning signs that I know of. Except them asking for money. Don't give in to that temptation or you will regret it. If a girl is serious about you she will die before she ever asks for any money. It is a custom over there (from what I have seen) that you can never show you "can't afford" something and you never, ever, ever ask anyone for money. Especially a stranger. Even if it kills you and puts you in debt - they will still show that they can afford things. It is almost a stubborn pride thing with them. Just remember that. jjbarrier Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/22/2004 7:49:05 PM   groon - sounds like things are headed in the right direction for you - good luck again. I live in PA and for me it's close to a day till I'm where I go, if you are on the west coast or anywhere in between it's even worse. I am not sure I would feel comfortable driving there - I suppose if I knew the language better it might be different. Brian, as far as warning sign it depends on how good an actor the lady is - if she wants to mislead you she certainly can, and it'll depend on how astute the man is as well. I guess one thing is also that we don't know about cultural differences, and we may interpret a warning sign as a manifestation of cultural difference, or worse perhaps suspect something bad due to genuine cultural differences (does that make sense?) As for the profiles, I don't know what others are looking for, but I don't think there is so much about their lives in terms of external circumstances as opposed to their character traits and values, and what they are looking for. Are you saying a lot of that should be discounted as well? BrianM Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/22/2004 8:00:19 PM   What I am saying is anyone can write anything they want in a profile. Most of the girls will go to an agency and select a few words to describe themselves. Usually this tells very little about them and their lives. They do try and put down desires (possibly shortcomings in others from past experiences) and a very brief something of themselves. But I would not put too much stock in any of this. Have you tried "write down everything you want in your ideal partner in 250 characters or less..."? Write the girl and get to know her. If she sounds interesting then ask about some of what she put in her profile. Personally though, my girl told me flat out bluntly when I went to see her. "Profiles mean nothing and letters mean nothing". She had over 2000 different men write to her on various agency sites during the past 2 years. (She was a former Miss Wow from this site.) She said that every man writes about the same things and asks more or less the same questions, tries to impress her the same way and makes similar claims. Out of those 2000 or more men though I am the only one of two that called her and went to visit her in person. Luckily for me the first guy she couldn't stand. When we met we immediately had a very strong chemistry for one another. We got along very well and realized we truly were in love with each other. So we are now engaged. But my calling and visiting is the only thing that set me apart from those other 2000 men. Unless you go and visit they consider most of the letters as a nice thing to pass the time until someone actually visits. Buran_Fan Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/22/2004 11:47:46 PM   Ptichka, I was generalizing intentionally to try and make a point. With so many women on this site 'competing' for attention, they're looking for something to make them stand out - whether it's in their pictures or in their profile. Same for us guys - whether it's the suit, the car, or a huge fish (cool, wessman!) Brian: Thanks for clearing up the 'shopping' thing. Seeing that one always put me on edge. And other good pointers as well. Interesting note on the money thing: I read somewhere that you never refer to something as 'expensive' - that implies you can't afford it. By referring to it as 'overpriced' you save face :-) Ptichka Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/23/2004 4:28:46 AM   BrianM you right the price of clothes and other things is high...if you buy them in expensive shop!!! if you go to the market and buy things there then the price is very very low!!! I bought a gorgeous dress for my graduating party last year for 40 $...a really great price:) At least this is for me:) I don't agree that people never borrow money or will go on doing things even if they don't have money to buy food...who ever told you this??? Here in Lugansk, where I live...people try to live within their own money (that's right) but when they don't have the money but they really need it, they go and borrow the money from friends...or relatives, what is very important is to give the money back within the discussed period. Otherwise you will lose your face, that's true. As for profiles, if I was seaching for somebody I would want more people to have a close up photo showing the eyes, the rest will come...pictures with suits and cars...but the first impression is done with the eyes. nasfan6 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/23/2004 6:22:13 AM   What woman is not high maintenance??That's a pretty ambiguous question, is that defined by money only? I guess you could ask the lady to define how a man is a pain in her ass and what are the warning signs???I bet you will get a thousand answers with breathing be number one on the survey! sanchopanza Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/23/2004 8:06:07 AM   re."...They say the way to a mans heart is though his stomach...." Somebody actually once said that was aiming a bit too high...! wessman Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/23/2004 12:44:42 PM   just a little lower, no a little lower, yeah right there back pocket where I keep my wallet, oh yeah that's the way to your heart man. I bet the last time you let a dollar loose was to get a better grip!{;} lmao Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > "High Maintenance" - what are the warning signs?
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