Send Flowers to Russia, Ukraine and Worldwide with Cyber-Florist.com Fiance.com: Beautiful Russian brides
Home  |  About  |  Forum  |  User Blogs  |  Login  |  Register

	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > Is this forum for everyone or just a select few? Author Post izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/31/2004 10:08:27 AM   I mentioned realism several times and I want to clarify what I mean. The pictures that are on Fiancee and all the other sites. For the most part are obviously studio pictures with a pro behind the lens. With the right camera, light, clothes, makeup and props you can make Godzilla look like Elizabeth Taylor. So to allow pictures to sway you one way or the other is very slippery ground. Although I must say that I had a 51 year old brute write to me that nothing short of major reconstruction could have helped. No camera was her friend! I too have had studio pics take and very lovely I look too. We all do this. So realism with picture posts, that doesn't fool me. I had some flowers sent and paid extra to have some pictures taken of her receiving them. She looks very nice but ordinary. That's ok it is what I expected. Her posted pictures are amazingly beautiful - of course. What I got was a surprised lady, tired after work, feeling a little awkward about being suddenly posed. However, I can see that she is fairly slim, attractive and most importantly real. Realistic. The next thing regarding realism is the 'deal'. Once you get past the initial love and roses part of any marriage you are left with the 'deal'. It is to do with who does what, who is who. etc. Children figure in this big time. So to think that this lady or any of the others isn't trying to do many things at once is ludicrous. She wants to create a better life for her daughter, to help provide for her mother etc. If this can be mixed in with some romance and, please God, some love then she is happy. I think what I have written is a massive oversimplification but you get the point. So my point is that by trying to be realistic I think I possibly have found someone in a very short space of time. Next this whole business of trying to create a relationship via the email is a non-starter. Just can't work. I think that just like Trad you have to begin then with an email then go. Get your bearings then go again and again as money and time will allow. I think if you are serious and not looking for Marilyn Monroe it really shouldn't take 3 years. Ok I'm done the computer just ran out of letters. But I didn't swear once, I think I must be improving. wessman Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/31/2004 10:25:59 AM   About a closed shop. After months of writing to the forum perhaps some of the guys become quite familar with each other and very confortable communicating with each other. Some become good friends. It might be hard for some people to interject their comments into a conversation that has evolved for weeks and you are not a part of it, well it is like going to the pool some sit in the sun and others jump into the water, c'mon jump in the water is wet! izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/31/2004 10:40:23 AM   That was a much nicer way of putting your point across Wess. I for one appreciate it. wessman Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/31/2004 11:37:53 AM   izifaddag Member, You are doing great it sounds like. Great post above on the realism, many great points,you can build a great relationship by e-mail so when you arrive to meet her you will have more than the chemistry and sex appeal. It is like going to a social. You go there is this great chemistry and then you find that after three weeks of dating you are too far diffenent and can not bridge the gaps. Try writing letters to her about you and how you think about things and how you feel and ask her to do the same, perhaps it will save you some time. (you are not getting younger you know LoL) Perhaps you will be so much in love when you arrive even the police could not keep you apart. I think using all of the ingerdients for success will make a grand wedding cake. Dale E Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/31/2004 12:31:01 PM   Hey Iz, I did the flowers and snapshot thing myself and found out she looks quite different than the glamour shots she sent me also. She still had a big smile on her face though and I got to see the real woman that sends me the letters that attracted me to her in the first place. It didn't change my mind a bit about and I'm a firm believer in getting to know and understand them through the e-mail correspondence. She is exactly the same way and not willing to settle for just anyone. the only thing that keeps her life from being perfect is the absense of a good man. She teaches English in college and loves her job. Her parents recently moved close to her city just to be near to her and their grandson. She is willing to give up everything for the right person. Though this has never been said by her, I know she is very cautious about choosing the right man for her and I respect her for that.My point is, if she does ever invite me to see her and things don't work out, that will be 1 year down and I will probably have to wait another to see someone else. So that puts me in that 2 year catagory on one failed attempt. Yes, I could go on a 2 week social and find someone who would be willing to get married but you know where I'm going with this. At least the people who have been searching for two or three years didn't jump on the first ship only to drown short of their destination. Of course there are some that just get lucky and find the right one for each other on the first try. But that doesn't always happen. I did the flowers and snapshot thing myself and found out she looks quite different than the glamour shots she sent me also. She still had a big smile on her face though and I got to see the real woman that sends me the letters that attracted me to her in the first place. It didn't change my mind a bit about and I'm a firm believer in getting to know and understand them through the e-mail correspondence. She is exactly the same way and not willing to settle for just anyone. the only thing that keeps her life from being perfect is the absense of a good man. She teaches English in college and loves her job. Her parents recently moved close to her city just to be near to her and their grandson. She is willing to give up everything for the right person. Though this has never been said by her, I know she is very cautious about choosing the right man for her and I respect her for that.My point is, if she does ever invite me to see her and things don't work out, that will be 1 year down and I will probably have to wait another to see someone else. So that puts me in that 2 year catagory on one failed attempt. Yes, I could go on a 2 week social and find someone who would be willing to get married but you know where I'm going with this. At least the people who have been searching for two or three years didn't jump on the first ship only to drown short of their destination. Of course there are some that just get lucky and find the right one for each other on the first try. But that doesn't always happen. jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/31/2004 1:47:12 PM   QuietCharm: You need to get a thicker skin. This is a MEN'S forum. We are guys. When we discuss issues we disagree sometimes. And we're not always nicey nicey. izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/31/2004 1:48:17 PM   Dale E What happened to your post it got duplicated somehow. Anyway good points all and nicely put. My strategy is to plan a visit to this lady I am talking to right now. This is based on a vigorous email campaign. I think we write to each other every day now. I can see her English is improving. By the time I get to Ukraine I will know her very well. So far so good. However the real proof of the pudding is meeting !! Just like you I am not Rockefeller, I can't afford multiple trips like a yoyo around the world either. Therefore to avoid a disaster I will secretly have a backup plan. It will probably be either Kiev or Odessa where I will enter the country. My Ukrainian friend told me that Kiev is alive with gorgeous women. So if I flop I think I will know quickly, and I will change to the backup plan. I will attend socials and use local agencies to meet women right there on the spot. That will generate contacts, email addresses and phone numbers. I am not shy about this at all. I will not waste time and I will jump right in. Already I have another possible woman in Odessa. That one is less solid than my primary lady. However I have to say I am getting a good serious vibe here. You would have to read the emails to fully understand but trust me. I am not naive in these matters and as my ex wife would tell you I always have not just plan B but C,D,E and F. She used to criticise me for over preparation but I swear by it. You just can't prepare or investigate enough. It might be possible to find someone at a social that would want to marry you on the spot but personally I wouldn't go near that with a bargepole. That stinks of "get me out of here". I'm looking for a wife not someone seeking a greencard. Nope I have a solid plan in place and with a little bit of luck I'll get it on the first pass. If not it still won't take me umpteen years. 24 months max after that I would permanently give up and become a confirmed bachelor. At that point I would probably switch to Colombia it would actually be far, far easier for me. I live in South Florida and speak Spanish. I've even dated 3 Colombian women. So I have a plan in place. We'll see what happens but I am confidant. I am more worried about transportation and hotels than I am about finding a nice lady. This hotel/train thing could get nasty. Have to go now because I am going to call her. This is going to be good I haven't learnt a single word of Russian. At this point I don't think I will either. izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/31/2004 2:02:03 PM   Wess Regarding the emails. Having established good contact with Carina and made sure she isn't screwing around I have started on a list of topics which I found on another website. This was a letter that a guy in California wrote to his intended. It covered a whole bunch of practical stuff. I will do the same thing. A series of essays on health insurance, schools for the child, savings, worklife etc. I have a digital camera and I will be taking many photos of the neighborhood, supermarket etc for her to look at. She says she isn't worried about any of this stuff because she will learn. I am equally determined that she will be educated about life in America way before we meet. It could only take one thing to put her off the whole idea. So I would sooner that she knew about life here warts and all looong before I even book a flight. Stacking the odds in my favor that is all. The key is the meeting though. Now I'm late for this phone call. izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/31/2004 3:38:27 PM   Got the call in and was able to prove a point. She is lovely but just as I thought you can't trust photos. She sent me a separate picture and I thought she looked younger. So I asked, sure enough it is 7 years old! Still ok though everything is fine. No problem this end. GLTALLTOAD Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/31/2004 4:19:51 PM   Izi, lol....Fess up!! I know you're the type to fall madly in love at the first sight of a perfect pair of legs or 34DD cups..:) QC, You were asked specifically what thread, member post or comment brought on the initial tirade about 'tone' and 'be nice' at all cost attitude. What happened? As one who truly enjoys heated debates, intense and diverse opinion sparring and self deprecating 'no sacred cows' humor at all costs, I find the tone of your initial thread sterile, lifeless and most importantly, humorless to the point of being offensive. Again, I'd like to know what happened that brought this on... The mere concept of getting offended by whatever anyone else writes in response to our opinions, ideas or even chosen values is terminally, irrefutably and absolutely offensive to me (??!!) (sigh...)....Ahhh, these life contradictions are going to kill me from so much laughing one of these days Be well, laugh often... toad unclebuck Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/31/2004 4:43:47 PM   I think you people confused what I was trying to say. What I was ashamed of was the put-downs. Time to find the right woman is not a bad thing nor does it denote character. However, I read the forum and some people seem to express themselves in such a way that leaves the readers thinking that the writer does not have any appreciation for other peoples culture. That I misunderstood is clear now just as you might have misunderstood my earlier writing. No, I did not meet my lady through the agency but through business contacts. tradman Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/31/2004 4:48:48 PM   Thank you Izifaddag. I have to say, maybe it was not love at first sight, but I did know at first sight, that I would end up loving her. Although it was first sight, it maybe wasn;t in the conventional sense. We had corresponded for 3 months, so maybe not the same as eyes meeting across a crowded room:-)) I had met 3 others who I had felt a bond with, through correspondance, but that Chemistry wasn't there. You are right, I knew what I wanted and went for it. I am a little luckier than most of you, Eastern Europe is only 3 hours away and I had the good fortune that she went to live in Italy for 3 months and I was able to visit her every weekend. Although this wasn't really a conscious thought, it was interesting to see if she would change, being exposed to a rich and consumerist society like Italy(although not as bad as UK or USA) I needn't have worried, she started to shop a little, but still very carefully, embraced the good things about Italian life and shunned the shallow things. I am pretty sure, that picking someone in their early thirties, their morals and value's are already formed, and it is not easy to corrupt them.....This gives me even more hope for optimism QuietCharm Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/31/2004 4:55:53 PM   Hi jetmba If I was so thin-skinned I would not be raising this issue. I can defend myself if I have to. The point is, I shouldn't have to. 'Specifically' read the #35173 thread. That isn't men being men. That's vitriolic bullying. It's not the only example. There is a post in the women's forum asking how to get to the men's. Russian women are taking a look at us. They must be pretty appalled at the tone set here.. at least the ones who comprehend it. It is not a private barrack room bar, where men take the piss out of each other mercilessly and if you can’t hack it, you’re a wimp. But that is how it is being used. There are many members here who are decent and polite and should not be subject to attack dogs every time they post an innocent question. I had a belly-full of that bullshit when I was in the navy. Yes, I played the game because I had to. As a paying customer of a commercial site, I should not have to. Yours is not the majority view here. Just because no-one has jumped on it, doesn’t make it right. The behaviour is offensive to many and should change. I am just giving voice to what some have already said in the past (and been shot down) and others want to say but don’t have the confidence (read my mailbox). That is not being ‘nicey nicey’ as you put it. It is about being treated with respect. Toad. You clearly enjoy putting people to the sword. Yet when they protest it is their problem?? Most of the time you are the only one laughing. That says it all. Putting 'lol' at the end of a sentence or being self-deprecating, as you put it, doesn't make an insult any less an insult. As to being nice 'at all costs' that is not what I said. QC tradman Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/31/2004 5:05:17 PM   I deliberatley told my girl all the bad things about my country, my life and that I wasn't rich, just an average Joe in my first few e mails. I know and have always known that she wanted to leave her country for economic reason, and I always appreciated that honesty. I do know hoever, that she had been with her agency for 2 years and received 5,000 letter, so although she was always going to leave Moldova, it wasn't just going to be with anyone. Wanting to give her daughter a better future is not a crime, we all marry for a lot of reasons, and it can include economic reasons and security and safety, however, she was never going to leave and marry someone she didn't love. In the 100 days I have spent with her, she has never looked like her profile picture, I don't recognise her in them at all, quite early on she sent me picture that were normal and with her daughter and mother, without me requesting them. To me, she is even more beautiful in real life, she is an exceptionally moral and good person, I feel I don't desrve her, but she makes me want to be a better man. We have had some very big argumnets, but not once has either of us called the other a name or made it personal, it is so refreshing to have complete respect on both sides even if we cannot agree. The other thing is, there is no power struggle, she will make her point or opinion very strongly, however she knows I will make the final decision, and if I decide against what she was arguing for, there is no sulking, no saying I told you so if I get it wrong(and I do get it wrong) just a happy face and acceptance. What a woman wessman Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/31/2004 5:14:44 PM   Quiet Charm, you are singing to the choir, there are some abrasive guys here, there are some guys here that are cold, some nice, some sensitive like you. Just like real life cause this is real life and a fair amount of competition too so lighten up, the women that come here from the other forum seem to stir things up more than the guys. Often it is interpetation too. This is a tough forum and in one dimension hard to see what is meant all the time so chill man people will get your goat even the idiots offer some good stuff up once in a while even you know who? Now I want to call Moldova but when I dial the number I get a recording only I can not understand what the oprator is saying ha ha! That sucks, I think I will try to get her home number and try that. What does it matter QC if the woman come here from the ladies forum and see some idiots rant on line as long it is not you. Try to be the example like you are. tradman Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/31/2004 5:24:56 PM   Wess, phones were down in Moldova on Friday night, and may be down again now jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/31/2004 9:19:44 PM   Quiet Charm: This is a forum. Not a democracy. Majority opinion doesn't rule. Our moderator's opinion (olga and Oleg) are the only ruling forces and they are very good at stepping in only when things get truly out-of-hand. Would you rather that they police us completely and censor what we say? Do you think we need den-mothers and playground-assistants? Perhaps we should be banned from taking negative views on anything or talking about sex? (Which some people have objected to in the past.) Roll with the flow, QC. We're big boys and we don't need constant obtrusive correction or correction. jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/31/2004 9:22:23 PM   ......"...constant obtrusive correction or censorship." ...... jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/1/2004 12:09:18 AM   Er...how about ....."...constant INtrusive correction or censorship.".... (Third time is a charm......) QuietCharm Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/1/2004 12:20:41 AM   Surprised you guys took so long... Majority opinion doesn't rule? So you are quite happy to cause offence to the many, for the entertainment of the few? Not my idea of a good time but clearly yours. With freedom comes responsibility. The attempt at public humiliation of Shaggy, for example, from a self-appointed judge and jury, quickly followed by 'throw the jerk out' wasn't a form of "correction or censorship"?? That's funny. The rules are fine, as long as they are your rules. If you don't play the game the way we want it, you are 'out of the loop'. That is a 'closed shop'. My ‘complaint’ is about particular members, using this Forum, to abuse other members, for their own sport. I have written to the moderators, asking them to look at it. It is their responsibility to set the tone for this Forum. They can listen or they can ignore. I am interested in their reaction. Yours was entirely predictable. Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > Is this forum for everyone or just a select few?
	Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9