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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > Trustiness. You have met her for the first time. Now you learn how to get along with her. Author Post GLTALLTOAD Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/29/2005 7:53:59 PM   QC, Do you really think it's a cut and dry one or the other? Regardless of how cautious or all out trusting anyone maybe, as we grow older and gather 'life experience' we develop a certain balance between both things that fits us like a well worn pair of favorite shoes. I doubt there is pure pessimist man in this forum among us who hasn't felt his spirits lifted by the welcome response of an attractive lady at one point of another. Things like that feed the optimistic, trusting and hopeful sides and encourages us to step farther into the soup with our approaches. toad freebird1967 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/29/2005 9:48:17 PM   Well QC :) Im not saying spy on them and stuff like that... I am saying that if there are things that are done that are suspect dont turn a blind eye. I know, even you would not ignore things that appear to be highly suspect right? I hope not..... My insticts are very sharp but I have slipped before and learned the hard way.... it can happen to anyone, even you. Now if she could clarify what she means by blind trust... to me blind trust is how I trust god.... I just dont see that happening very easy or fast with a human :) GLTALLTOAD Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/29/2005 10:38:16 PM   Therefore and I'm atheist, lol.....and let's not deviate this thread into a religious one, please idiotdetector Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/30/2005 3:13:57 AM   ptichka- thats all well in your situation where you are at home and you say you feel this, but does that mean you act without regard for him. Bargira has vioced concerns and was told to trust her, he did not feel it inside him from first metting, thats the point you have missed but I do take you point also. In our situation we need to see a solid relationship to bring her back here, its not a fling that we can easily recover from if it does not work, I know that from first handexperience. This is not a try it and see how it goes thing. Intuition is great, but I would not stake life on it, or my future, I will use my intuition but my eyes and eyes also QuietCharm Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/30/2005 4:36:36 AM   Hi Izi. Toad. Freebird. How many women have you met who are with guys who are a complete waste of space? Violent, drunkards, thick as a whale omelette and so on. If they relied on gut feel, they have learned a hard lesson. Intuition is a risky instrument. Toad. We both know for some people choices are either black or white. For others it's that and all points in between. The former is certainly less complicated. If you look at the people of SE Asia after the Tsunami, they are surprisingly resilient. Their acceptance of tragedy, as part of life, helps them to recover. The Thais, as a nation, are an optimistic people. It's the same of course for individuals. Yet, many in the west feel hopeless, depressed, disempowered. Their mindset is generally negative, cynical, untrusting of others and of life. Isn't that our conception of Russians too? Stoney-faced, stoic, lacking in trust, indifferent to other's suffering. Worn out by decades of struggle? There are some, who, having been wounded, live in a constant state of mild depression. They marry, divorce, are gutted, recover, date, fall in love and while in love, they are positive. Once the rosy glow wears off, though, it's back to that negativity again. The cycle then repeats or they just give up on 'love'. They blame everything and everyone else except themselves. Their own 'gut feel' tells them they are wrong but they dont want the discomfort of acknowledging it by looking inward. Maybe the mistake people make is in expecting relationships or pleasurable distractions to pull them out of their funk. It's a legitimate strategy, as is escaping to a convent or mountain cave. But there is no guarantee of long-term success, just a temporary lift. The wise, will wait and not marry in haste. The optimists will see only a positive outcome. The risk takers will say 'what the hell'. The pessimists.. 'I wont be able to do any better' or 'This may be my last chance'. Thinking folk will look at all factors and weigh them up before making a choice. Unfortunately, most of us do not have a clear or developed intellect. I think being positive and trusting to instinct is as valid as using reason and logic. Depends whether you think 'mind' is in the head or the heart. I use both. QC QuietCharm Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/30/2005 6:49:24 AM   And yes, Freebird. I get it wrong too. As in Moscow. That's what a plan B is for ;-) unclebuck Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/30/2005 12:43:59 PM   Toad and Izi, Your both right. Trust is earned but intuition makes us take the trip. What some people do not understand is that our hearts are open but so are our eyes. We just don't do STUPID anymore. izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/30/2005 1:55:52 PM   Unclebuck So true so true if only you knew how true. QuietCharm Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/30/2005 3:11:24 PM   Children trust without question. They don't believe trust has to be earned. In some religions and societies it's the same. If you feel safe, you are open and trusting. There is no reason not to be. Dont do stupid? If a deceipt is obvious, of course, but many men who have sought partners, not just in FSU countries, can tell you that even with open eyes, they have still been shafted. Jet's previous confidence seems to be evaporating. Was he stupid? It's a matter of degree. If a lady is asking for money from the word go and the guy continues to cough up. That's stupid. QuietCharm Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/30/2005 3:22:11 PM   Izi Popped in but not sticking around. I'm off travelling again for a few months and putting FSU ladies on the back burner for a while. Hope the headache has eased. QC freebird1967 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/30/2005 4:26:18 PM   We arent trying to be mean or hatefull... But honestly heres my way. Hope for the best but prepare for the worst... Now giving people advice to trust blindly is dangerous advice.. You might be right, But you also might be wrong. You have toned down the trusting thing a bit in your last couple of post.. Now it makes more sense and really it seems you allmost agree with what we were originally saying. You also mentioded alot of approaches and personality traits.. well I fall under all of them, you cannot catorigize humans :) people have been trying for a very long time. Sometimes I am paranoid... sometimes I trust to easy.. sometimes I am free and optomistic... sometimes I am pessimistic... See my point? I have empathy for all points of view... But pound for pound its better to be prepared mentally and phsyically for a negative result... if it doesnt happen what was the harm? unclebuck Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/30/2005 4:51:42 PM   The ladies do look at things differently but we all are the sum of our exspearences. Some bad some good and love can blind our eyes but a little common sence goes a longway. It was once said "If there is a dought, there is no dought". This whole thing is about learning to understand ourselves so we can understand others. That is what seperates us from the animals. "To thine ownself be true" If it quacks like a duck and looks like a duck? The symantics of this don't matter if the person is not smart enough to see what is before their eyes. Ptichka Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/30/2005 7:09:17 PM   Well, I just believe that there are at least 2 views on the problem of trust. I think that there maybe more then just 2 views:) And none can be called better or worse, they are just different:) OK I was asked a question, something like "if your man will see you in the bed with a naked man, should he also trust you". You missed one thing from my posts, I said that 2 people who really love each other, will never do anything to harm each other. So to answer this question, I can answer, that till the moment I never had at least even an idea of being in bed with another man:) I know that some people will say "you think so, because you're young", have to admit that I was young until I was 7 years old, since that time I never felt like a young girl in my life:) Always had to take actions, and to carry the responsibility :) Yes there are different ways to communicate between people, and also if one way is weaker, other become strong. I have a bad eyesight, though with time it returns to me, thus I sense more smells and I hear more sounds :) And my intuition also is much better:) It was checked, very easily I can sense the mood of a person, sense his thoughts, though it is a tiring thing:) But was checked by doctors, and this is true:) N()R Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/30/2005 9:09:48 PM   How do you build trust in relationships? The secret is constant communication, one moment at a time. Trust is a ketword if you want a relationship filled with passion, love, honesty, friendship and most of all, partnership. Safety and trust are the twin sides of the same coin--both involve risk and both form the foundation of any great relationship. Safety is the feeling you get when you have trust. Trust means not only learning to trust others but it's learning to trust yourself--especially if you've been in less than desirable relationships in the past. From the beginning you both have to practice honesty and not hiding, no matter how painful the truth is. When you've been used to "sparing" the other person or not saying something because it might hurt their feelings or rock the boat, it's very difficult to open up and speak your truth. But I believe this is absolutely necessary to form a solid foundation of trust between two people. People often will trust a total stranger before trusting an intimate partner because that total stranger cannot hurt them like they imagine a partner can. We all trust every single day of our lives while driving our cars. The fact of the matter is... it takes a great deal of trust to drive down a road at 55 mph with another car coming the other way at 55 mph and only one white line separating the two of you. The potential for danger is great--you don't know that other person; you don't know if they've been drinking; you don't know if they'll stay on their side of the road. That, my friend, takes a lot of trust. The challenge is to exhibit the same amount of trust in your relationships Knowing, believing, trusting that the other person is acting from their highest good. Two of the thought patterns that destroy trust in relationships are dwelling on past pain (whether with this person or others)and futurizing about potential negative events that haven't happened. Every time your mind starts to make up wild stories that involve abandonment, guilt, jealousy, those old tapes that just keep running and don't seem to stop--bring yourself back to the present moment and differentiate the past and the future the present. If you focus on "now" and what you want, you will build trust between you and your partner. If or when you have these negative feelings, talk about them--don't hide them but be honest. If you place your attention on either worrying about past relationships or question where this relationship is going in the future, you lose the opportunity to be in the moment for yourself and your partner. You also loose the opportunity to build the trust that you need between the two of you. If you are in a relationship that has gone through some challenges, you can't heal the distance and pain between the two of you by dwelling on the past or fearing the future. You must look at where you are at the present time. Build trust one moment at a time Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > Trustiness. You have met her for the first time. Now you learn how to get along with her.
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