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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > Another one bites the dust! Author Post GLTALLTOAD Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/24/2005 1:22:52 AM   Every woman is different, Mind. That's why we, mere simple minded males, have such a hard time reading most of them...:) But once you are comfortable knowing what you want, what you expect and develop a fairly efficient way to communicate it without scaring the beejeebies out of them, then the shoe is on the other shoe. GLTALLTOAD Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/24/2005 1:23:18 AM   other foot...duuhhh Worldtraveller Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/24/2005 5:00:09 AM   sailor, i am sorry to read the news from you! you know what? roguhly 2 weeks ago i wanted to write some lines here, that i wish, that your relationship with your lady will not fail, will never break. because you was so happy, so enthusiastic. and i really wished you not to fall in such a deep hole of emotions. i agree with others: donīt give up! learn from your mistakes!! mindwire: yes, definitly many russian women mix (too much) politeness with weakness. i had to learn this also. WT Annika77 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/24/2005 5:27:32 AM   Guys, isnt it wiser just find woman who except you like you are. If somebody starts in the age of 50 play macho its a bit rediculous! castawaysailor Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/24/2005 5:32:21 AM   Sveta and I are talking, maybe I not understand her messages, maybe she not express her feelings well, I do not know. But I do know I love her. Whatever happens, she now knows very clearly what type of man I am, I am sensitive and gentle but not self-assured. If she wants a man such as me, then I will swim the Atlantic, hike the Caucasus mountains and walk the length of Europe to be with her. If not, I will still support her and her son; that is just who I am. I will keep you all informed of the progress (or lack thereof). Felicedate will be working with me to get accurate translations of her desires and needs; he will also clearly convey my desires and needs. Now, if she still wants me to come, it is going to be really expensive, the plane ticket was cancelled and now is triple the cost I paid before; see even those of us with a few extra bucks get poor. Annika77 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/24/2005 5:42:14 AM   What is the problem-why she dont like you? If someboduy is sensitive and gentle-it isnt reason for break-up. Must be something else? castawaysailor Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/24/2005 6:26:49 AM   Annika, as you know, international relationships are difficult, partly because of the language and cultural barrier. We are working through it. I only want what is best for her and her son. Some do not like low self-confidence and if that is case, then that is still who I am. She still very much in love and so am I. We will work through this and determine what is best for both of us. I will not move her to USA just as a test, if she comes to USA she will come as my wife and no pre-marriage contracts. That is just who I am and how I operate. If she comes, she will give up everything to be with me and I will give everything to be with her. And if I loose everything, so what. I start over. Been there, done that twice. Jetson Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/24/2005 6:50:47 AM   Ok, my turn. I got back from Kherson 4 days ago and have been laying low because that is my style but it seems that this is the thread to come clean. I too ended it all the day before I left Ukraine. She was the most wonderful, caring and loving person....until my third visit! The agency and even her childhood and best friend did not understand why this person changed so much in such a short time. If you know me, I am a very giving, patient and understanding person and so I treated her with much respect and given her things she never thought would ever get. She had a very bright and secured future but what would make someone give it all up? Her personality changed and became a "princess to good for anyone else". It has been suggested that perhaps she was an alcoholic and I must admit that many of the signs were there. I am heartbroken and have been here before, and I know that eventually I will come out on "the other side" and become even a stronger person.I will take some time off and think about this whole process of FSU women and then make a decition as to whether I want to go through this again. I have been to Russia 4 times and Ukraine 3 times, my patience and hopes are running thin. I feel fine today but there are moments that I think perhaps I made a mistake leaving her. Then logic kicks in and this is always my savior. It is all then perfectly clear but I still have to work through the emotional phase. I am working through that now and I know I will be ok. Now, if only Hurrican Wilma stops blowing right outside my window then I can go back to sleep. Hey Izzi, the eye is suppose to come right over us! This is the last time I listen to you!! :)) castawaysailor Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/24/2005 7:08:24 AM   wow, all the best jetson, storms from the Ukrain and storms from the gulf, my thoughts are with you. we are getting rain and some wind here in St. Petersburg but nothing like what you are getting in Naples. castawaysailor Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/24/2005 7:36:39 AM   Nortwest, you ask "Was the girl a little out of his league on the outside? Are expectations too high? Are there certain girls we should be avoiding in regards to personality or where they live?" I am now on my feet and would like to address this. Yes, she is out of my league but I am also out of her league, just in very different ways. She is more beautiful than any woman in my dreams. I spend more going out to eat every month that she makes in half a year. Are there girls we should not be dating: I think not. Granted if she was in my league I would not be riddled with these in-securities. We look to FSU for what we can not find in our own backyard. I have done well for myself in work and business but I am still short and mostly unattractive. FSU gives me that little extra step up that compromises are made on both sides. If it works, it is win win situation. She gets a loving husband and secure life and I get a beautiful loving wife. castawaysailor Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/24/2005 7:39:20 AM   George Carlin once said "I never f*cked a "10" but I once f*cked five "2's". Well, I am done with the "2's", I want my "10" but also want true love. Annika77 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/24/2005 8:17:28 AM   Call me stupid, but I dont still understand why realtionship is over? castawaysailor Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/24/2005 8:21:23 AM   Annika, If you speak of me, then it is not over, we are talking and I will visit next week. I misunderstood her direct answer as a rejection of me. castawaysailor Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/24/2005 8:22:05 AM   I truly thought it was over. I have alot of learning to do and this is part of the education process. GLTALLTOAD Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/24/2005 10:01:24 AM   wtf? jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/24/2005 11:03:05 AM   As I've tried to elude to in a few past threads - these women are BEAUTIFUL and intellingent and you can even get the atention of a younger one than would ever give you the time of day in the States BUT - its not a cake walk. Its not without problems. Its just that the problems one faces are of entirely different nature than one has faced before. Its a whole 'nother world out there and even after four trips I'm learning more every day. But give it up? NEVER! nasfan6 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/24/2005 6:58:11 PM   Sailor One thing never, ever do is jump to a conclusion. The language barrier can be somewhat difficult even with a translator, who sometimes makes mistakes in translations and what the intent of a letter was meant. Larissa and I have discussed from the beginning that never read into to much at first what is said without discussing and promoting a more accurate understanding of what each other has meant. I will have to also disagree with Worldtraveller a little on the politeness and weakness aspect. It is not impossible to be tender and gentle with a woman, but possess strength, especially inner strength. I've told Larissa many times don't ever make the mistake of my kindness and gentleness as a form of weakness.The door can slam shut on that as quickly as it opened. Also she has been with me in many public situations where she understands that I can be very forceful in situations with people. So she does understand there is a side to me that will accept very little bullshit. Though I don't place demands on her, we have an understanding on that situation also. This is a huge ordeal for men to undertake, especially the distances and culture gaps we must deal with daily. So Sailor just reach down in your pants, have a gender check and you will be fine. If you're willing the make the commitments you have said above, then you are on the right track, but don't for a minute think that the money and lifestyle you can give these ladies is going to make it happen. It won't, actually it won't be any different than here in the states. These girls are smart, though their lifestyles are not quite like ours, the real ones are looking for more than a bank book. They are looking for a man to be a man, make decisions, handle problems without a lot of hand wringing. Annika I have to disagree with you about the stupid part. I've never thought you were stupid, an irritating pain in the ass, yep without a doubt, but then that's what I hold dear in my heart for you my Aryan Princess. Later Mike TheWongs Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/24/2005 7:23:56 PM   "just reach down in your pants, have a gender check and you will be fine". :-)) I like that! :-)) Mindwire Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/24/2005 7:35:51 PM   Annika; You write "If somebody starts in the age of 50 play macho its a bit rediculous", & you are correct, but you left out dangerous. The saying here is: "if someone who's never had a spine suddenly develops one, they're going to be lucky if they live through what happens next". The point is... Don't try to be something you're not. If you're "Playing Macho", but have no experience "Being Macho", People will see right through it.... Then What? As for this thread: The situation that Sailor is describing is, in my opinion, a problem. He openly states that she is out of his league. Also that he is "sensitive and gentle but not self-assured", has "low self-confidence", and is "riddled with these in-securities". He describes himself as "still short and mostly unattractive". He believes that his business successes and financial position also put him out of "her" league. It does not seem logical to me that financial means would offset his flawed character (insecurities) combined with being "mostly unattractive". Although "She is more beautiful than any woman in his dreams", is HE the guy on the white horse that she was dreaming of when she decided to find love abroad? Or is she settling with him because he has the financial ability to get her out of where she's at, and is the first, or only, one to actually show up at her door? Consider This: The concept of Alpha male or female, Beta male or female, and other male or female, is very real in Any social situation. With human interaction there is a natural pecking order which is established. The woman that Jetson is describing above upset the pecking order of her social group by becoming a "Princess", because of the respect, affections, and gifts she was receiving from a male outside their social circle (who she views as either an alpha or beta male). Her natural response is to start acting like an alpha or beta female, a.k.a. "Princess", to mirror the position of the outside male she now considers her mate. It is obvious from what he is describing that she is neither an alpha or beta female, and is failing miserably in the transition to become either one. In the end there are 4 possible results: 1) She will revert to her previous position in the social pecking order, if her family, friends, & associates will accept this, 2) she will fight to attain a higher position within the group, 3) she will leave with the male; or be ostracised from her social circles because they are unwilling to accept her assumed position. The fourth option is that she will receive a lower position within the group because of her attempt to disrupt the pecking order, and will have to struggle to acheive her original position. We are all judged, by those around us, by the mate we select, and it has an impact on the pecking order in social circles. I've recently dated a Doctor of 37, and a Stripper of 23. There is Definately a difference in how you are treated by friends, their spouses, and family depending on the woman you are with. Don't believe me... Try dating a woman in a wheelchair that doesn't speak any English! You'll notice drastic changes! Is it possible that this is part of the attraction for men to seek a mate from the FSU? Where they are able to find women who are much younger, more refined, and more beautiful, than the women they can attract locally? Maybe... Does Sailors girl think that he is the Alpha or Beta male that she dreamed of when she signed up at the agency? My guess is probably not. He himself states "I feel she wants a strong man, a secure man and I am not that man." Similarly, is the "Princess" that Felice describes wrong for thinking that she deserves someone better, or that a given man does not meet her expectations? Do the women feel they will be looked down upon, or treated differently, by friends & family for being involved with an "Insecure", "Mostly Unattractive", older man who can provide well for her? Can a woman compensate for his position by becoming a Beta Female, and eventually bring him up to her level by bolstering his insecurities? One minute it's all over, the next it's on & he's running full steam.... I'm not much of a prophet, but I'm guessing it's over before it started.... if he does actually get her home, it seems destined for a quick (and expensive) failure...... I hope I'm wrong! Izi... "The English putz over here" :o)(actually I thought Putz was a Yiddish term):o). Says... "I pick them beautiful and then they pick me over". This is where my earlier question about women mistaking kindness for weakness is derived from. He states: "These women respect authority and dominance even the most mouthy ones. I am sorry but just as with children a little fear has to be intstilled." I disagree! Allowing yourself to be picked over neither displays authority or dominance.... Respect can be earned or commanded, commanded respect usually results in fear and does not last... Authority can only be given to you by those who have respect for you.... and dominance requires submission by others. Instilling Fear is a method to insure compliance, but it is always short lived. The compliance will stop the minute they figure out how to bypass you and then they are no longer afraid. Dominance results in respect.... respect results in authority.... The Alpha Female will ONLY pair with an Alpha Male...... Nothing Less...... Ok... everybody go back to your cocktails.... :o) jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/24/2005 10:10:09 PM   WOW Mindwire: It seems that you've read one too many books on pop psychology. The concepts you speak of are best applied within closeknit homogenous groups. Living 3,000 miles away, I'm doubting that castaway has enough contact with his lady or her social group to be judged alpha or beta or that such designation makes much difference. Its my guess that the solution is much more simple. I admit that I do not know all of the "particulars". I do not know much about castawaysailor. But I have noticed another sort-of-something about FSU ladies where they differ from western ladies. Besutiful FSU ladies can be charming. A lady half your age can give you attention that you have never had before. And it is certainly easy for a western man, who has not had such attention to "fall in love". By contrast, a young beautiful western woman, with scant resources (money) MIGHT sleep with with a wealthier guy, she might even spend time with you. But you will not get the sort of flattery and "you're my everything" attention that an FSU lady will give you. And if the guy is sending money and presents to his FSU lady - so much the better. She will maintain the charm and the flattery as long as you do. But if you mistake the attention that she is giving you for mutual "love", then be prepared to come crashing down. SHe may very well put the brakes on when it comes to commitment. FSU ladies are known to seduce by whatever means neccessary. I've heard sveral state that they hope to make a man "fall in love" with them (with or without, preferably without, sleeping with him) as a profit center. No offense castaway, but if you are very sensitive and lack self-confidence, its a good bet that you fall in love easily. She will use a level of charm that you simply won't find in western girls to HOOK you for support. But the moment it might look like you are pulling away and the support is going to be gone, (and especially when you are safely across the ocean) the affection comes back. I hope the outcome is better than this. But this is what it seems to be. Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > Another one bites the dust!
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