Send Flowers to Russia, Ukraine and Worldwide with Cyber-Florist.com Fiance.com: Beautiful Russian brides
Home  |  About  |  Forum  |  User Blogs  |  Login  |  Register

	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > It's just too much Author Post QuietCharm Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/11/2006 3:33:09 AM   Hi Vent. Of course, you knew you would receive a range of opinion. The 3 types you identify can be found right at home and Western men are not the only predators in the FSU. It is well known that Russian men are irresponsible and predatory as far as the ladies are concerned. Without closing doors on other possibilities, I do agree that it's far better to spend time getting to know a person than giving the prospect a quick 'once-over' and saying 'You'll do.' Trotting out the one or two marriages that seem to work, after just a couple of weeks together, is equivalent to trotting out the 90-year old smoker, who's never had a day's sickness in their life and saying 'See. No harm in smoking.' Sure there are exceptions but it's reaching a bit to suggest that the chances of a successful outcome are as likely for those who only spend a few weeks with a prospective bride and those who spend more time having a good look at each other. Sometimes it takes a while for someone to reveal their true colours. I'm sure, if people were honest with themselves, they would acknowledge this. (but it's more fun throwing squishy tomatoes) and of course, since it's most people's ONLY option they will defend it. (as if saying it is so, makes it so!) Shopping? Or Shopping list? I'm not sure having a list is any better, or worse, than marrying for love. For thousands of years marriages have worked in cultures where astrology, education, background and future prospects (shopping list) are the main criteria for marriage. We, however, continue to put all our eggs in the 'Romantic Love' basket. Divorce stats show what a mistake this can be. Is a couple of weeks a long enough assessment to base a lifetime decision? I think it depends on what sort of person you are and of course the opportunity you have. There is no reason for a marriage not to work provided you are realistic. If she's got no money and you have it, then it's a marriage made in heaven.. until she discovers you fart in bed and cackle like hell as you drag her head under the blankets... and EVERY man in your neighbourhood has money. She'll eventually leave and our spurned windbag will of course blame the agencies, the scammers, et al. Other determinants are the emotional state of the people getting married. There are those who make lots of noise, drawing attention to themselves (treading these boards). And there are those who live quietly, getting on with their lives, building solid, sound foundations. The former tend to be those who have been burned by divorce still venting, inadequates with anger management problems, the insecure, adventurers, romantics and egotists. Then there are the many, who it is pretty obvious, who will never leave their keyboards (or mom!) and are whiling away a few hours impressing themselves with their last witty come-back or their own verbal diarhoea. The good thing about the 'MOB' sites is they are a 'taster' or 'primer' and not the whole deal. They facilitate the getting together of people who want to get together and some do a pretty good job of it. What happens next is not down to the agency but to the individuals concerned and if you are one of the many who seem incapable of thinking for themselves then you get the outcome you deserve. I have at times been everything stated here.. felt compassion for a girl's difficult situation (saviour), been out to a club with the hope of getting laid (hunter), been disappointed with meetings, when the lady who's picture launched a thousand ships, took off the 17 layers of make-up and lipstick. Then there was the lady, who having spent 40 hours on a train to meet me, made it clear, within minutes, she just wanted to get her family out of Russia... This after weeks of phone calls and letters, where there was NO indication of this beforehand!. I've also been the romantic and delusional mid-lifer fallen head over heels for my bit of catwalk eye-candy. What I haven't done is deliberately deceive, or pop the question to anyone. Because, despite the giddy heart-aching feelings of 'love', I didn't yet know the lady well enough. And believe me, I have paid the price, many times over, for earlier impulsiveness when it comes to marriage. What I find offensive is those who use these sites to deceive, who have no intention of marriage and who play games with people's lives. They write to hundreds of women, have long shortlists and end up bottling out or stringing the poor victims along. But what the hell, their feathers are being fluffed by the attentions of these beautiful women. Great 'entertainment' and all for the monthly price of your ISP. Forget the fact that they create real disillusion, make it difficult for a lady to find genuine seekers and give us all a bad reputation. Annika77 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/11/2006 9:18:17 AM   Ahh, my favourite writer !!!!!!!! Maybe its my profession, but I find men who write nicely sooo sexy:)! Vent Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/11/2006 12:49:16 PM   I agree, QuietCharm has quite the gift for writing. As for ben2006's attempt at amateur psychology, he missed the mark completely. My friends, family, and co-workers all completely support us and neither of us have any problems answering the invariable questions about how we met. In fact, we joke about me being a Mail Order Husband :P. I also wanted to make sure one thing I said in my post didn't get stretched from its original meaning. I have never said there is a BEST way or any GUARANTEE about the way I went about things. My intention was to give a little jolt to those who may have the wrong intentions from the start, or who started out fine but have turned into a hunter/sexual tourist after they see the kind of dating success they can have over there. But I do believe multiple visits and getting to know the Russian (or Ukrainian, where applicable) language and some of her culture is a BETTER way. So that ben2006 doesn't go too crazy trying to figure out why I posted like I did, I'll give you just a peek and you can judge for yourself. I've been a lurker, mostly because all the stories are quite entertaining and there is some cultural and travel information that can be useful. I didn't decide "I'm going to marry a FSUW", but along with my interest in living and working over there, I took a job and wound up meeting the woman of my dreams. And I kept lurking, but because my experience and goals were quite different from most posters, I never felt like contributing. But as you can maybe guess from my forum name, the things I saw and stories I heard about Westerners while I was there, as well as on my most recent trip...I felt it was time for me to say something. Other than a single post on the prostitution thread, this is the only thread I've posted on...and the only one I ever will. What I wrote (and what we all wrote on this thread) will be placed into the archives for others to see, and maybe it will help someone later on (or maybe even now). I have great respect for the married guys who stay on a board like this. It seems that most don't stick around to add their experiences to the collective knowledgebase. Sometimes they hit some rocky spots, but their eventual success should be an inspiration to us all. There is some really good advice out there, and here are some of my favorites: "Those who treated it like buying a car failed miserably." "Go there, treat it as an experience, try to learn about them as persons and their culture, have fun, share with them about you and your culture. In the process, you'll find out with whom you click and your judgement will tell you who's right for you." "In my opinion, the best way to find a Russian woman, the right kind of woman is through email and regular visits to that country or even better through spending some time in Russia and getting to know women there and the culture of that country." You see? What I posted originally (and perhaps a bit harshly) had already been stated before, by a man who has successfully married and been together now for a few years. Thanks for the support, wtrav02. ;) Dnep Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/11/2006 3:24:14 PM   I'm moving to Dnep. in two weeks and I've been there about 5 times before. It is true that the women are beautiful but relationship wise it is as difficult as any other part of the world. I've decided to live in Ukraine and learn the language and culture BEFORE I get involved with a woman. Distance and barriers create too much of a divide and I have decided to make the permanent move. ben2006 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/11/2006 5:42:56 PM   fair points vent. I am a lurker as well as this forum can be useful for travel/visa information and also for helping to understand fsu women and funny at times. Posts from those with successful stories AND unsuccessful are very helpful to everyone. Like you I didn't go looking for an fsu girl I was just lucky with being able to work over there and just meet a girl. I don’t think anyone would disagree that going there are meeting a girl and spending time with her is a bad idea. I guess not everyone is able to just do that. As for moving there. hell good luck. After one full week I start going insane. Life is too slow. I never stay more than 10 days. Mind you 1 week living with inlaws would drive anyone up the wall. Traveling to a separatist region over there doesn't help also I guess as is not knowing the language well enough. I hate not being able to do things for myself which helps me understand how my wife would feel over here. Brave move Dnep, good for you and good luck, you only live once so go for it. Adman Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/13/2006 5:34:22 PM   Soonermike If the mens forum offends you, dont read the womens forum, it is not for the faint hearted-)) To be fair there are a few like Petrokurka that are, well, even inspiring. I am glad that it is not only the Petrokurkas that write, because that would give a completely wrong over all picture. It is the whole board that begins to give the snapshot of life. Its the same for the mens forum. If the only posters here, were those telling us, Oh I am just getting married to the most wonderful girl. or I have been married to the most wonderful woman for so many years, we would learn nothing. Our impression of the women we are most likely to meet would be totally distorted. Many a good man has fallen marrying and FSU woman and other women for that matter. I would like to learn all I can. Vent Talking about Russian personals. Why is it that so many of the women on those sites, are married and yet looking for men? Vent Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/14/2006 1:13:11 AM   That's a very good question, Adman. Just to grab some numbers, I went to the popular site love.mail.ru and did a search for girls 22-32 in Kiev. Of the first 25 that I looked at, 14 said they weren't married, 3 said they were, and 8 didn't answer that question. This site doesn't have a very detailed search engine, so you have to really go through the profiles a bit more I suppose. The interesting thing about a site like this (over 2,000,000 total profiles, both men and women) is the desired age limit listed by the women (usually +10 years and quite often only +5), the number of girls willing to post nude pictures, and the number of girls who list "regular sex as a couple" as one of their relationship goals. Kind of makes you wonder if this or the "polished face" the agencies put forth is more "normal" for the average girl. The langugage barrier would probably keep a guy from being able to use Russian personals sites too effectively, but perhaps guys could use it to do a quick check on any girls they are writing to, in order to find out if she's listed...and the profiles give the last date they were on the site. lucky_luke Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/24/2006 2:56:02 PM   Vent, Just wondering how old you are and how old your bride to be is? idiotdetector Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/25/2006 6:24:50 AM   how come we are not allowed to look for a wife? but the girls here say they are looking for a Husband. If you told them you were not looking for a wife, would they write back? Whats wrong with knowing what you want? Anyone here who says they are not looking for a wife, is a liar. Sure there are guys looking for a good time, and there are girls looking for a free ride, but in all that some people find happiness. How can you stereo type everyone who did not do it your way vent? If we could get a job there and take our time we would. Oh to be so great, so high and mighty, and such a hypercrite, must be wonderful. Lots of what you say has some truth to it, but it does not apply to your situation too? Oh that right, refer to the last sentnce for the answer to that idiotdetector Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/25/2006 6:30:33 AM   and it seems you have made mistakes yorself, but know it all now and we should not have the chance to make some too? So you are discusted with youself in the past? And why sould we not write to lots of ladies to find one who is intesting? Non of what you said is valid, its just part of the process. And it seems even thougth you lived there, and meet one, you search like all the rest of us at an earlier date. Post Vent, say you bit, bt why the negitivity? And what makes youe opinion the be all to end all? Vent Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/25/2006 2:03:14 PM   lucky_luke, Our age difference is 10 years and I'm in my mid 30s. idiot, You've completely missed the point, have taken some of it personally, and are now grasping at straws trying to belittle me to make yourself feel better. With a name and attitude like yours, it's gonna take a lot of belittling so you'd better start trolling on more posts than just this one. The hilarious part is where you try to call me a hypocrite, just because I know the site love.mail.ru exists and can use it to grab some facts to back up an answer I gave to another guy's question. Take your own advice....if "non" of what I say is valid, don't waste your precious energy to double-post here again. By the way, that beeping sound you hear when you post on this site is your own detector going off. idiotdetector Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/25/2006 5:19:47 PM   you are right, I missed the point, because there is no point. Not trying to belittle you at all, do not want to quarrel. Buy you are a hypocrite, read you own post objectively and maybe you will see it And its just a name, you yourself are just here to "vent" idiotdetector Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/25/2006 5:26:52 PM   And I usually o not post here because of stuff like this. And if you think I am trying to belittle you, I am not, just saying it how I see, as you said how you seen it, though, at least I was onlu insulting you, not trying to offend every person here as you were. Although some of what you said may be true, still, whats the point, and whats so bad about it? idiotdetector Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/25/2006 5:29:03 PM   ust 1 more thing, I have a russian female friend on the net, and she read it and did not see the point either. She did say she knows lots of girl there are preditors too. SO its not so bad to help each other find scammers, though it does make us sinical of everyone. Vent Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/26/2006 2:24:40 PM   Wow, triple post. You really outdid yourself this time. I knew the time would come when this post would slowly start to fall off the first page and then get re-hashed. Any real discussion on the points I wanted to bring up has already happened, and I'm getting married next month so you won't be seeing any more posts from me. I only have three things to say as I sign off. First, I was trying to show a better way, not the best way. Second, you've got a few guys here (wtrav02, nasfan6, gladiatorUK, wmferg) who are living the kind of life you're aspiring towards. Listen to their words of wisdom and occasional reality checks, they're successful at it for a reason. And lastly, try visiting one of the other forums once in a while. I don't know if it's the fact that this forum is also connected to a site with ladies' ads, but you get a lot of strange questions and downright odd responses completely out of the blue. Wtrav02 and the other guys try to keep a decent topic going, but most of the time it seems like an uphill fight. Adios. wtrav02 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/26/2006 6:28:50 PM   Vent, I now feel shit that I yelled at you in the beginning-:) Well you came out with some strong points and I reflected back. In any event, reading through your post you sound solid, as you said there is not only one way that leads to success. You found one way, which by all means would be the best way if it were doable for the masses as well. Congratulations for your upcoming wedding. We'll be listening to the bells from here-:) Best wishes for a lifetime of happiness. wtrav02 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/26/2006 6:30:43 PM   ... and no reason not to stop by once in a while to tell your news, i.e. adios for now-:) danny3777 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/26/2006 7:21:54 PM   I guess an idiotdetector detects an idiot by talking to himself :) nasfan6 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/26/2006 10:01:23 PM   I knew this thread was a scam from the get go. Just to stir up crap in the forum. idiotdetector Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/27/2006 4:21:12 AM   well martin you stirred here as much as anyone, Never said anything that bothered me but you did bother others, but it seems you are in tight now. If you want to exchange insults now for no reason at all, go ahead I will not be listening. I hardly come here. Do not even know why i read this one. Lots of good stuff here but I have heard most of it and know enougth. I have also gotten travel info here that helped a lot. I just need to apply my knoweldge correctly as so far, I have not. Its a long raod and this one sided opinion was written to ruffle feathers,and it did. So whats the problem? Vent was looking for some strong opinions, and he got them. Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > It's just too much
	Pages: 1 2 3