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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > Getting a letter by "post" from a woman in the FSU: Expensive for her??? Author Post Cat Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/9/2007 6:02:13 AM   DavidUSA. I have read everything.I am new on this forum but I ws shocked! I don't understand the reason of trouble! You have visited 4 girls, or even more, you want to visit one more and you failed her in lie! I had correspondence with Ukrainian girl who was a nurse and her salary is just 450 hryvnas, it is 90 dollars. And she wants to look well. Or you want your girl buy clothes in second hand and you come like a prince and take her to the heaven? If girl would say me that I would send her 100 dollars for Valentine's day and chack if she take 3 dollars for sending letter from that amount!!! But ask her to buy stamp instead of something more needed for her is at least not honest...and rather stupid. It's like you just have rest here - meeting girls, writing them, checking. I have one girl, and I want to visit her, and I want to get merried with her because I trust her!!! If you don't trust someone why you go on correspondence? Find a girl in the USA if it so expencive to find girl in FSU!!! You are greedy person! I don't think you are James Bond but I am sure girl is rather pretty;) I realize that I am not a prince and I need to win her heart, to buy if needed - girls like good words and gifts, it is normally. I will not be surprised if she change you for someone more generous and understanding her troubles!!! Sorry if my opinion is different from yours but I trust girls and I don't want me to called sex-tourist! I/O Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/9/2007 7:52:46 AM   Cat: Which country are you from and how many times have you been into the Ukraine? Just curious. I/O jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/9/2007 9:35:35 AM   I have to admit - I shake my head in wonder at this particular thread. I am amazed at some of the misconceptions shown here. If people don't understand other cultures , then what the hell are you doing even looking for a girl over there. DavidUSA - its true that many of the girls pictured in the profiles here look like runway models. But does that somehow have you believing that they have Paris Hilton's money? What is it about making $90 (Cat's example above) to $150 per month that you do not understand? Did you fail Basic Math? No they didn't "borrow those clothes" (because they are secretly RICH RIGHT?). Those are fashinable items that they may very well have purchased in one of the outdoor markets, at very inexpensive prices. They didn't buy them on Rodeo Drive. They are cheap Chinese or Turkish made knock-offs which may even have counterfeit designer labels in them. And they are likely hand washed with every wearing, because in Eastern Europe a washing machine is still a luxury. I recall one very beautiful stylishly dressed girl who worked at a photo kiosk. Since my lady liked to take a lot of pictures, we were either at the kiosk or near it - every day for two weeks. Each and every day she wore the same outfit - always appearing spotless of course (and no it was not any sort of a uniform). Fancy clothes do NOT indicate wealth for most girls in Eastern Europe. They have a completely different culture than we and they wouldn't be caught DEAD dressing dowdy - no matter if its the only thing that they own, or if it takes hours to make themselves up. As I have written in other threads - there are a different MILLION reasons why we go looking Eastern European girls. (I have been to Eastern Europe six times myself.) Some of us are not satisfied with the quality of the older spoiled girls in the west. Some of us like different cultures. Some of us ARE (unfortunately) only after sex tourism. Some of us have personality flaws that will inevitably prevent us from finding a girl here OR THERE and really being happy. This forum takes the diverse group of men mentioned above and ties them together, based entirely on one commonality. We are all venturing into a different area produced by the political and economic fallout of the fall of the old Soviet Union. But some of us are just cheap and entirely mistrusting. We don't undertand that $90 to $150 per month is just that ($90 to $150 dollars per month). Let her blow a dollar or six dollars out of that on letters to you or she's not worth your time. My advice to you with an attitude like that is to look elsewhere. Both you and she will be better off. jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/9/2007 10:10:53 AM   To I/O: I've noticed that the group that tend to be MOST critical of Eastern European women is OTHER Eastern European women. Witness the writings of Annika and Bagira here as examples. I happen to get to know two who knew each other particularly well, and I was amazed at how hypercritical they tend to be of each other. My lady loved her country and loved her Russian culture. She would never sit by and listen to any criticism of it. But other women? (Especially young and single ones who might be looking for a western guy...?) She was always ready to put them down given the smallest opportunity. I've met many who were that way. There is something about the culture. You would think that they would have some great compassion for each other, coming from the same background - but they don't. So, no offense, but I take it with a tiny grain of salt when you mention that your lady does the same - regarding either the women in question here or the guys pursuing them. Cat Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/9/2007 11:38:26 AM   I/O I am from Spain. I have been to Russia but never to Ukraine. I am planning to go there soon! To my love!!! Annika77 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/9/2007 1:20:41 PM   Sorry jetmba...What compassion? To whom? What opportunity? What backround? I have nothing common to people who send snail mails and havent money for stamps! Like 19th century! And I havent anything to to to that childish topic! But thanks to remembering me! To Moscow! Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/9/2007 4:39:41 PM   ==> We are all venturing into a different area produced by the political and economic fallout of the fall of the old Soviet Union <== The fall of the Soviet Union occurred in 1991. The majority of these young, FSU ladies were children then. They probably consider that time frame as ancient history. These young ladies have grown up in the "Wild West" capitalist era where fortunes were made overnight, usually at the government's expense. It's also the period of western capitalization, commercialization, consumption and opportunity. Today, it's unrealistic for any western man to expect an FSU lady to knock down his door, begging him to marry her. It was probably unrealistic in 1991 as well. But most of the successful marriages I'm aware of occurred prior to 2000. jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/9/2007 9:01:54 PM   I mentioned the fallout of the collapse of the Soviet Union. It takes AT LEAST a generation or two to get beyond that. The effect of that remains long after the actual event. The rebuilding after the Cold War and the complete change in economic systems is not unlike the rebuilding that occurs after ANY war. And while the Soviet Union collapsed in 1991 - Russia experienced complete economic meltdown in 1998. Its foolish to think that the unique opportunities afforded western men still are not the result of the fall of the Soviet Union. You've GOT to know that. Adman Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/9/2007 10:21:44 PM   Where do you find these poor women that I might impress? I must be the most unlucky person here. The women that I have met all seem to be well off. One that I met seemed to be the perfect woman but she said quite plainly that she would only marry a rich man. Not to escape her poverty, but simply because she had grown up in a wealthy life style and could not imagine anything different. It was her destiny. She never asked whether, or how rich I was.It was left for me to decide if I was rich enough for her. Unfortunately I had to concede to myself, that I probably was not:(( I seem to be looking in all the wrong places. jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/9/2007 10:50:54 PM   Evidently you are looking in the wrong places. You might want to try Belarus or Moldova. Moldova has some of the most beautiful and intelligent women of ANY country or socioeconomic class. Can't speak first hand about Belarus. I/O Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/9/2007 11:14:51 PM   jetmba: You are partly right in your comments about the "Put Downs" which come from within. But only partly. Yes I have seen it too. Yes with my other half also, but I would add that was PRIOR to a confirmation that our relationship would be secure and permanent. Sort of never give a sucker an even break in a competition type scenerio. That is simply a product of the battle for betterment throughout life. It dies pretty quick once they have their Man. LOL. It even goes on between sisters over local men. Good men have been a premium for a long time and the competition was tough, although that has changed a lot now and will continue to change as time goes along. FWIW Adman: You'll find THAT group and thank your luck that she has been honest enough with you. But I gotta say I admire your balls in having the courage to make a decision that some "Hottie" was not for you. Well done, you are one of the very few who "Get It" in the learning phase. Just a touch of advice. Some key Russian words don't translate well to English and you need some help with that. There is people on these boards who can help you much better than I can, but I'll give a couple of examples. Rich does not mean the same thing, it usually means rich in generosity not so much with money but in care and attention. Greedy. "Oh he is a greedy man". No not that he is a guts or wants everything for himself, but that he has failed to notice when she needs a drink in the street or something simple like that. Therefore he is percieved as being a little mean with money and not interested in her personl needs. Remember that old song that said something like "Looking for love in all the wrong places, looking for love in too many faces". Take your time man, I got a feeling you might be one of the few that make it. You "Get it" with one of the KEY points. Cat: Nice, I like Spain although I have only visited very briefly. Gee man, why go east, you have some of the hottest women on the plannet..LOL. (Just joking) You are going to Ukraine to meet your love and sooner or later, hopefuly marry her. I hope to read your story later on here after you are happily married, but guess what Amigo, I don't think I will. You are in love with a woman you have never met? Whooooooaaaaaaaaa, time for a big reality check man....!!!! Yeah yeah, I know her through her letters and our phone calls and our webcam conversations and all that horseshit. You havn't got a clue yet. You havn't seen her in her home environment, you havn't met her family or friends or anyone connected with her. You know almost zero about her as a real person. Your cyber Goddess is just that right now and very little more. You can fluently speak Russian or Ukrainian right? So you can understand clearly when she expresses herself in the comfort of her own language right? Yeah Right...!!! Cat: it grieves me to watch these crash and burn stories, but on this road you are one in the making. Back waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay off for a while. Go visit her and spend time with her. Then go home and think for a few weeks and then go back and visit again. Then after 6 months, repeat step one. If you have the sense to slow waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down and do this with some intelligence, you might just succeeed, but the current road gives you a 95% chance of crash and burn. Yeah yeah, Ï Know, "But my situation is different, I know this woman". I've seen all that before too many times and ultimately you are the one who gets hurt. Big head thinking time. You have a HUGE advantage over many of us in this pursuit in so far as you live in Europe, what 3 or 4 hours flying time away. Weekend visits are possible. Most who live half way round the world don't have that opportunity. BIG HEAD THINKING TIME. Get a few weeks of face time in with your lovely on a few seperate trips and then check back in with the reality report. Back on topic: I stand by a former comment, this letter thing has been blown waaaaaaaaaaaaay out of proportion. She CAN send a letter, if she chooses to. All the arguements against have SOME validity but at the end of the day, if she wants to she will. I do tend to think that two weeks is rather a short time to be expecting her to start that, particularly if he has not sent a letter first. BTW he objected to sending gifts and couldn't understand why I said send a small sum of money was insulting. Small gift? Write a letter and put a nice local dried flower in it. Simple shit. See how she resoponds. You don't need to spend your last dime on this. If you want to be a bit romantic about it, why not? A flower or a photo or simliar. Money? Come on man..!! How would you feel if daddy told you to go to the bank and collect a sum of money? Ok whooopie he has left a grand there for me. You get there and get 50 bucks....!! Sending 10 or 20 little ones is about like saying "Here puppy puppy come and have a couple of crumbs off my table". It's a phucin insult in any culture to do something like that and more so in the east where money is a subject which is often not discussed. Go figure guys.....some get it and some don't. I/O Adman Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/9/2007 11:20:05 PM   Jetmba I did try Moldova. A 20 year old from there asked if it was a problem for me to bring her a laptop when I visited:)) And one that was more apropriate for me, suggested she did not want "love in a shack". I have never lived in a shack, but I thought it sounded quite romantic. Does anyone go to Russia any more. I will be there first week of spring. I hope its not April fools day:)) I/O Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/9/2007 11:38:06 PM   Adman: Put that "Love/Live in a shack" thing in perspective. There is a hundreds of "One trip wonders" who go to the FSU because they can't afford any more trips. If she has been around the net sites for a while she has figured the majority of wish seekers out. These Moldovan girls are pretty sharp. (And stunning too I might add) She was subtly making the point to you that although she mightn't live in a palace now, she wasn't going to step down just to get out to another country. Yes there is a few gold diggers, but that comment doean't sit with me as a gold digger's remark. Why and the hell would any woman actively go looking for a step down in standards. Just doesn't make sense, so I would say, she was just bluntly direct as are many FSU women. Ya gotta learn to take it on the chin. Tis how 'tis. BTW yes there is large numbers of men still going to Russia. But most of them don't have the confidence to get 20 miles from a major airport centre like Moscow or St P. They usually receive a spectacularly UNDERwhelming reception. :-) I/O Adman Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/10/2007 12:15:49 AM   I/O I just looked back to see what the woman wrote and why I found it amusing. She actually wrote "Love in a cottage" which I thought sounded quite romantic, but I understood she meant love in a shack. To be fair she did explain she looked not for a posh lifestyle, But unfortunately other things did not quite gel for us. I am surprised everyone wants to stay in Moscow. I think it would quickly burn a big whole in your pocket. Getting away from normal touristy things is alway good. Being lost in the jungle in Indoneasia and the like, are always things to remember. To Moscow! Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/10/2007 12:46:09 AM   My point quite simply is that the collapse of the Soviet Union and the economic turmoil it produced happened a long time ago. Its impact will remain with the older generations for the remainder of their lives. But for the young and educated, those events occurred when they were children. Now as adults, they have and will continue to reap the benefits that modern technology and globalization provides. So the gap between east and west will close quicker, just like the country’s fast turn around from the economic crisis of 1998. Sure western men have benefited from the fall of the Soviet Union as I mentioned above, but today western men have to work even harder than their predecessors. Even you have to admit that. Deano Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/10/2007 1:43:55 AM   I've always told my fellow seekers of love abroad that if your girl is truly interested and truly wants you then you will know it. She will return your emails. sometimes send one on her own. She will text message (SMS) you. She will take the time to write you a letter. I have met many girls who fit the description you all write about here. When they wanted me I got all the attention I could ask for. They made the walk in the cold to the Internet cafe and on their own dime just to answer my email. They scanned their photos to send me more pictures of them. By the way there is a lot of hidden income that these girls have. Many have boyfriends or lovers who take care of them with money and gifts. Sorry guys but the cold reality is your girl is probably part of this group. I'm aware of it and accept it. I go there with the attitude that I will show her I'm the better man for her. jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/10/2007 9:23:08 AM   To Moscow: Economies are funny things. They don't change altogether over night. And the effect on the populaces doesn't change either. We have a little economy-myopia in this country (the US) as well. Never stops amazing me when a president is elected and assumes office at the start of the year. Everything that occurs from the time he is sworn in, is blamed or attributed to his administration, when he has yet to establish policy or even introduce a budget. Somehow there is a false assumption that from his swearing in - everything is set nuetral (or back to zero) as if someone hit a giant "RESET" button. BOTH parties are guilty of that one. Well its the same with our perception of the Former Soviet Union. It fell in 1991. Russia's economy collapsed in 1998. Oh but that was nine or sixteen years ago. Surely the magic RESET button has been pushed. Somehow there is just a genetic race of wonderful women over there completely uneffected by the economic conditions (becasue the REST button was pushed) and we just happen to be lucky enough that they show interest in writing to so many of us western men. Face it - the opportunities we are afforded ARE the result of the economic hard times. They ARE drying up. Sooner or later we will have no advantages at all. But they still exist right now. We can still draw the interest of a beautiful and intelligent Russian woman possibly much younger than we would "qualify for" in our own home country. Now KEEPING her interest is YOUR problem - and not neccessarily easy. But we have chances. jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/14/2007 9:57:33 AM   Just a note on earnings in Moldova. After three years I stopped supporting my fiance - when it became clear that we were not going to marry. I never sent much - a few hundred dollars a month - less than most people would spend on a car payment - but it was a lot over there. For the first time in three years she had to go out and work - she distributed advertsing literature from morning till night - working five days the first week. Her total take? It was 150 lei (about $12). Sure... a $1 stamp means NOTHING over there.... yeah right. jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/14/2007 10:21:08 AM   Just want this to be clear - that 150 lei was the total for FIVE DAYS. jonny1973 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/24/2007 1:25:48 AM   One thing that is being overlooked is the cultural difference in regard to mail. I know-- that sounds silly. "Cultural difference" with mail? Give me a break, right? But, it is true. We have such a strong postal system in the USA (and Germany, Australia, etc. etc), we don't think anything of sending letters. We send cards to our family throughout our countries, and they nearly always get there. We send checks to pay our bills without a second thought. Heck, most of us have sent checks of many hundreds of dollars, at some point, to some visa card or another-- or thousand-dollar mortgage payments. But, they don't do that nearly as much in Ukraine. Nobody mails in their bills! They take them in. The postal system is viewed as so unreliable, that it isn't relied upon! So, that form of communication simply isn't used AS MUCH. I would argue that it isn't so much that it is a big hindrance, but it is just something that is so much less common, that it is a little out of the norm. I think of it a little like asking my Mom to e-mail me back in 1999. I would tell her it is so easy, and it only takes a second. (Ok, the analogy breaks down a little-- mail isn't 'new' in Ukraine! But, maybe you can feel me a little on that.) Really, when I started writing my fiancée, she had to get a mailbox. There literally wasn't one at her home. There was no mail to her, or her household, at that house. But, post is simply not as widely used in Ukraine. I have sent letters from Ukraine. I have sent many, many to Ukraine-- the vast majority with no problem. But, it has sometimes been a chore initially to convince friends there that it is worthwhile. It is just doing something a little different. (Not for everyone--but I'm just encouraging you to be aware that for many, it is.) It is so super easy for you or I to write a letter. But, we are used to it-- and we have stamps and envelopes in our drawers. No, it isn't that hard to go buy stamps and an envelope-- but it is a little different, a little out of the norm. So, even though it seems so easy, what you are asking-- it might be a little different than you think. I am of the opinion that the cost should not be prohibitive for her. By the way, I did this. I exchanged e-mails with ladies, and then tried to switch to regular post eventually. I waited for a letters, after giving addresses and askign them to write. It was a very easy way to end a conversation, a corespondence, and a romance before it started. (Not that I wanted to-- but that 'test' was just begging to fail.) I wouldn't rule her out, without meeting her, just because she doesn't use post. I think it is a test that will fail more often than we would expect, because of our views on the mail, and how easy we view it, and how normal it is for us. It isn't that hard for them, it is just shifting gears a little bit. On the flip side, if she does send a letter, it is a bona-fide bonus! Extra credit for her! :D Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > Getting a letter by "post" from a woman in the FSU: Expensive for her???
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