Why are all you guys wishing best to timber. I do hope it is real but read what has been written....
- After 2 weeks she wanted to go on vacation trip,
- She wrote that she expects guys to pay for vacation costs,
- Regularly make surprises, presents and flowers,
- Probably be a little uncomfortable if my partner cannot make enough money,
- If you prefer to come to Kazan in October - you are very welcome. ( does not sound very personal).
From writing letters ( over 1000), I have yet to come across a girl that asked for a quick meeting that letters lasted very long. The minute we could not meet it fizzled. This girl sounds like a high-maintenance girl needing lots of fuel($$$$). Anyone for the higest bidder?????
Careful Timber!!!!
1) As I mentioned, I agree this is very fast. But without more information it's hard to say. Ultimately timber has to make that call.
2) FSU women (in general) expect the man to pay. This isn't greedy or selfish, it's just their culture.
3) Women want to be pampered. Some more than others. If timber is fine with this, then it's not a problem. Also, it's possible that there's a language issue here, or a bad translation. She might just mean that she wants to be taken care of and paid attention to.
4) FSU women (in general) want security first and foremost. They're not like western women who want to be 50% income earners. They don't mind working, but they don't want to be the primary bread winner. This is partly cultural, and partly because of the conditions in FSU.
5) English is not her native language, there's probably a bit of personality lost in translation. I run into this all the time. It's no big deal, I'm sure that when our letters are translated to Russian they lose some of their personality too. In fact, I've had to explain some off-hand joke over the course of several letters because of the confusion it created.
All I see here is that she's just making her thoughts clear, and good for her. Much better that she state her expectations now than for surprises to surface later.
So yeah, it's possible that she just wants a nice paid-for vacation, but at this point it's tough to tell. If I were timber I wouldn't jump in so early. If she's interested now, she will be interested after a few months or more of correspondence. But that's the only real red flag I see. I don't believe she's a scammer anyway.
Ulmo,
The thought of a girl making such points early in a relationship sound to me too demanding. Yes, she is making her thoughts clear but what will she want later. Timber made a point about trip being too expensive, does that say anything?? Sure women expect man to pay, and I always do but that is for dinner, taxi, drinks, clubing...not a $4000 trip with someone you have not met yet. I would not need any more infomation than a girl asking to meet in another country for vacation after 2 weeks of letter writing. Ulmo, I agree with your points, in general, I believe they decribe FSU women but this vacation girl is an extreme. It is okay for a women to ask for things and expect things but only at a point in relationship that their is mutual interest...but then again..who cares about chemistry anymore. If a girl is sincere, she will know at first meeting if there is real interest... not before.
As you say, it is timber's call.
Also, timber mentioned girl speaks fluent English..so she knows exactly what she is saying and I am sure means what she is saying. No 'lost in translation' here.
Timber I was married to a western woman who would continually come out with crap like this,for example when she wanted you to buy something she would say"you don't know how lucky you are most women get hundreds or thousands spent on them for bags,clothes,cars, holidays etc.
Essentially this is just pure manipulation,don't fall for any of this crap if you want to spend money spend it on YOUR terms and not hers.
If she loves you she will not need money the only thing she will want is you money or no money.
"Maybe from my culture or traditions beliefs, I still think
that a man should pay in a restaurant and for vacation costs and
regularly make presents, surprises, flowers. I
would probably be a little uncomfortable if my partner cannot make
enough money to provide for himself and I will have to financially
provide for him. I would also feel uncomfortable if I don't earn any
money at all and completely depend on my partner financially. I need
to have some independence in life, both financial and emotional."
It's funny that they want equal rights and all the other fem crap and yet when it comes to money they are suddenly traditional.If you go along with what she asks both you and her are guilty of manipulation her because she is using your need for a relationship to satisfy her need for money,and you because you are using your advantage in currency differential to buy love.neither is a basis for love and will surely fail when you get her back to the US/UK and she divorces you to run off with the 25 year old gardener.
Hmmm...for some reason I got the impression that he wasn't being asked to pay her trip costs. Re-reading the thread I guess I got the wrong impression. So let me ammend my previous position: Dude. You've known her for a month. Go to her hometown and visit her there if you really must visit, but DON'T pay for a vacation so early in your relationship. If she's really interested in you, she should WANT you to see her home town and her family. Pay for her trip when you've gotten to know her and her family.
I do stand by the rest of my points. Speaking "fluent" english only means she knows the words but not the nuances. My ex-mother-in-law was from Switzerland and spoke fluent english, but the craziest shit came out of her mouth sometimes. But yeah, timber, I ammend my previous advice: Be careful. Visit her home town and her family first. If you fall head over heels and it feels right, then either marry her toot sweet or schedule your vacation then.
Well, things keep looking good.
We have continued to communicate via email daily and spoken on the phone some.
She continues to seem very geniune and curious about me.
She will ask all the right questions and address any questions I ask her.
I think this girl is hardworking and has $ of her own. When we talk of traveling she will say, "once we have a specific time I will purchase my tour".
She has given me her home, work and cel phone numbers.
She is the manager of an agency and has an "intoduction" video on a partner site where she shows off her new car, her office and herself.
To date she has sent me over 50 photos of her with friends, family both profesional and candid.
I think she is the real deal and we are looking at meeting in the fall. She has invited me to Kazan as well but she wants to meet somewhere closer to me since she will have more days off to travel than I will and if I go to russia, I would only have 3-4 days there after travel time
So, how do you do the hotel the first time in a strange land. I assume I will be booking 2 rooms and if things go well downsize to one later. we are both very attracted to one another and have admitted this often.
I also want this girl to have a realistic feel for how our lives would be (financially) when we meet but also kinda wanna splurge a little to be somewhat romantic.
What do you guys think?
Meeting her somewhere closer to you will not save much time, unless in Jamaica or Dominican. She is limited in easily getting visa to many countries. Anywhere in Europe will save only a couple hours. Why does she keep insisting on meeting elsewhere? I thought you had more time to visit her in fall? I thought she was going on vacation in Aug or Sept..did that change???? If THIS is the 'real deal', why don't you just book your travel plans with her and see what happens????? I still think she wants you to pay for her vacation trip!!!!
Book a hotel or Apt with 2 bedrooms. I still think you are far from going in that direction.
I'll believe this girl once she is in front of you at airport or hotel. Then you can throw this in my face!!!
Ulmo,
Girl not only speaks fluent english, she spent at least a year in US for high school, seeing all the material things teenage girls get, at an age that these girls develop the sense of wanting things...I have an 18 year old...... she wants everything. So how is your crazy mouthed ex-mother-in-law???? :)))
Book 2 hotel rooms, why???
You are not going to get to know eachother in different rooms.
I ve done the vacation thing twice. Always booked one room (double)
Worked for me ))
Addy,
How you doing?? Read my post again.....I said a hotel or apt with 2 bedrooms.If things go well, you end up in one.
Timber was concerned about girl getting wrong idea
Hi Beemer
All is good, though I should be in Thailand now, even had the tickets booked. Decided in the end that we really do not see the world in the same way, so its all over.
About hotel/app rooms, yes I dont like to give the woman the wrong idea. ))))
Are you talking about your Russian girl?? I thought/hoped things would work out. It sounded like things were going well. Guess that is what happens in long distance relationships with 2 people trying to find themselves!!
You mentioned about flying your girl to central america to visit you. Don't know if that is possible, a friend told me all flights to Costa Rica come from US mainland and girls from FSU countries cannot land in US without visa. Check that out.
Yeah Im talking about my Russian girl. I wouldnt go to Thailand without one. )
She'll make some guy a very happy man ) Very hard to give up.
The thing is, she wants kids, which is fair enough because she dozen have any, but Im not going there unless all the boxes are ticked. If we have kids I want to be absolutely certain it is going to work.
If it was just going to be us two, she'd be very hard to resist.
A girl like this is a vacation shopper. Regardless, I steer cleer of Ukrainian girls who have travelled extensively. How exactly did she get to travel so freely is my question. I once asked a girl where she had travelled. She said Hungary, Turkey and all over Ukraine -- all of these as a student I had just read a strange UN Human Exploitation report stated these same countries had a huge amount of Ukrainian women working abroad as prostitutes...
Not saying your girl is a prostitute, but after two weeks she's already asking you to do this? You really think she's sincere or just pushing all the right buttons in you? I wrote a girl for 6 months and then finally met her to only realize in person she had lied about who she really was in each one of her letters to me... a fact she finally admitted after I left her far behind. Some of these women are well known to coerce men so they can travel. By no means do they even have to give you sex either... unless they are attracted to you or hope to go shopping too...
Any girl who has been to Turkey should raise a red flag. Alot of girls who go there to work as prostitutes. Having said that some could go for other reasons ie to meet another guy or study or holiday. But if she doesn't have a high paying job or rich family you should becareful or simply steer clear as apal says. For a lot of girls they can make probably $1000 a month compared to a few hundred or less at home. When they have family (kids/parents) to support it probably seems like a good idea. Some girls see it as the only option due to the lack of good jobs at home, but many others wouldn't dream of it.
Russians love to travel Ben. When I was St Pete most of the people in the hotel were Russian. They flock to places like Eygpt, Turkey and Thailand because it is cheap and the weather and beaches are good. My girl has been to Cyprus and Egypt, her work paid for it.
One that Im talking to in St Pete travels all over Europe as a sales rep for her work,she been as far as Cuba just for a holiday. But sure you can find hookers where ever you go.
It does get up my nose though, when you send a girl a couple of messages and she comes back with, Oh my friends are all going to Mexico will you take me. Thats an AW girl for you.
True true, but St Pete and Moscow is a world away from most cities in say Ukraine except Kiev or even the rest of Russia for that matter. In Moscow a well educated girl can earn about the same a New Zealand girl and can therefore travel. But if the girl is not well educated and working in a poorly paid job then you have to ask yourself how could she afford to travel and what was the purpose of the trip.