Send Flowers to Russia, Ukraine and Worldwide with Cyber-Florist.com Fiance.com: Beautiful Russian brides
Home  |  About  |  Forum  |  User Blogs  |  Login  |  Register

	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > Totally taken in Author Post bert Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/11/2007 3:33:16 PM   Guys- I think it is an interesting case to ponder what happened to Gladiator so we can see the signals and interepret them in the light of the other sides action. In one of the letters in this page, (Another scamm , I think), there was an inetresting not about the survival mode of thinking of the FSU people, the communist regime, the wheather, who knows what, has created a culture where everything they can do to screw you, they will (taken the onvious good people that abound, thank god). I have seen in this forum cases of people who were scammed by the director of the orphanage, this SOB when he learned of the interest of this couple in one child he asked for $$ to help with the adoption papers, later to sell the girl to another couple. That + the numerous cases we find in here. I am begining to see pattern here, western european, us+ canada, + ozzies and kiwis, come from places where general trust and good faith are the context given norm ( I am not saying this is a good or bad thing), priciples and way of living. Where your word does not have to be mistrusted at first, where you are innocent until proven guilty. This is not the de facto context of some other places. As we have seen, the comunnist regime created a context where you were not only guilty to begin with, but you were bound to disappear because you could be accused by anyone else as a spy, traitor, etc. I guess this created a survival culture that still has its roots there, and no amount of good wishing can make that go away. In LatinoAm, we have different values of trust among each country, in my case, in my country, the de facto context is, you are a scammer and everything you do and say is to screw me, therefore I must screw you first. In the case of Gladiator, I am shocked to see how cold hearted she undertook her plan B, hold on to your roots + make then stronger by promoting her work contacts again.. hummm. it is easy to be wise after the event, I would have been taken the same way for I would have rationalized the whole thing by saying- heck, I took her away from everything she has known and its ok to "respect her space" and let her have her ties as someting that keepsher balanced and connected. Maxirat Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/11/2007 4:17:49 PM   Glad Ditto to most of above !!!! Keep talking to mates and keep clear mind and as Thunder say – act now. One thing I would like to say – many years ago I remember other chaps her in NZ that had married abroad (mostly to Asians) - said – when here – try and limit their interaction with citizens from their prior country/nationality. (those also living in NZ) Good luck man – keep strong Peter NZ zeeco Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/11/2007 5:47:37 PM   bert, i hear what you say, but the FSU, does contain one third of the worlds land mass,and many countries, I think you have to be more specific, it appears to me that the Ukraine sticks out by an absolute mile as scam central, i'm sure all countries have scammers, but this forum contains few woe stories from Russia. As for Glads story, none of us know that his wife set out with bad intentions, she may have settled for him and life with him,only to have met someone she had more in common with in a foreign land, don't forget, the divorce rate in the west is very high amongst people from the same place. OM Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/11/2007 7:07:21 PM   Hi Gladiator I think everyone wishes the best. I also believe if you probe that she left her home for interest personals or extramarital she will not keep the kid. Immigration hates the premeditated fraud she will need to seetle with your needs or she may end back in UK alone. Agree with Thunderdome if your child has a passport you either take it or notify. Good luck and please keep your mind up, you will come up ahead. bert Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/11/2007 8:40:37 PM   Zeeco- totally agree with you. Guys, let us not forget a factor here, there is a kid in the middle of all of this. Even if it was premeditated fraud; sadly, but most likely, the kid is going to be hurt. I divorced after waiting 6 years for my kid to be 8 yo and for him to see a structure of a family. But its biological, a kid need her mother more than us. I say we should think in terms of what is best for the kid without having to show all the coercitive weapondry- let us say, if Glad speaks softly but carries a big stick- then he is most likely to negotiate a friendlier agreement that will allow his son to receive the best of both worlds. Rag'n'Bull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/11/2007 8:42:39 PM   Zeeco, Try going to www.womenrussia.com/blacklist.htm and click on 'latest updates to blacklist'. The reports are Russia, Russia, Russia with just another one occasionally thrown in from another country. I have noticed more recently that guys on this forum talk 'Ukraine, Ukraine, Ukraine' and why? Because it's convenient since Ukraine relaxed the visa requirement. Ukraine has become a fast food outlet for guys that in the main simply can't be bothered to apply for a visa to visit somewhere else hence many guys here will only talk of Ukraine but this has only become the scenario, and gradually, over the past couple of years since Ukraine relaxed the visa requirement. The rest of FSU has probably become a ghost town for foreign guys during recent times, guys are all heading off to Ukraine chasing the same ladies but to succeed in any venture one needs to try something different! aussieman41 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/11/2007 10:46:25 PM   I have been canned here for my outspoken views on fsu women, especially the Ukrainian girls. I don't base my views entirely on what I read, I have friends in Oz who are from Eatern Europe ( not FSU ) but places like Poland, who know Ukrainians very well. There is about 15,000 Ukrainians here in Australia. Whether they live in Australia or Ukraine, there mentality and the way they think is the same. They are motivated by money and social status and they will use people to get what they want to further themselves, especially the women who are social climbers and opportunists and can not be trusted, very few are actually "good". I was strongly advised not to go to Ukraine and marry one of there women because I will end up hurt by friends who care about me and who know Ukrainians and how they think and operate. I am very sorry for you, Gladiator, the deception she did on you was shocking and heart breaking. I can say ( having been in a foreign marriage before but not with an FSU women ), you can be married to someone for a long time and not know them and the level of bitchiness and cold heartedness they will stoop too when it all goes wrong or they simply decide they don't want you anymore, in my case a 12 year marriage ended with a 2 year family court battle over my kids just so I could see them in basic access rights because of the callousness and cruelty of my ex-wife ( it cost her a $20,000 caveat over the house that was partly mine but she got as government legal aid took that as an asset so when she sells they recover the money plus accrued interest, serves the bitch right! ), they can look into your eyes and tell you they love you but in there hearts its all a lie! I can empathise with what you are going through Gladiator, all the effort, the emotion to develop this realtionship and you think she loves you and she dumps you on the rubbish heap for her own personal gain...it is shattering emotionally and it destroys your faith in women. May I suggest some counselling with a mens or support group as the first year of any break-up is very rough and you need support of your friends and help to learn how to cope with the feelings. You need at least 6 to 12 months break from girls while you pick up the pieces...allow yourself time to heal, live one day at a time and let time pass...she is gone, acceptance of it will be very hard and take time and its no good to rush into another relationship, not while you are in this emotionally confused and shocked state. Don't give up but give yourself a break and don't above all, blame yourself...there is nothing you could have done to prevent this...she lied and used you, move on, forget about her and don't pursue her. I wish you well, you will find someone who will stick with you, give it time and patience. Glads story is a warning to others about Ukrainian girls, you read and hear so much negative things about them, everywhere! Adman Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/12/2007 4:23:38 AM   Glad I am shocked to read what has happened to you. It is what we all greatly fear and what can sometimes be impossible to see coming. Some women are hard to understand. They want to start a family, have children and when all is good, they causually walk away. You now can only do what is best for you and your child. Remember you have lots of support. All the best. Rag'n'Bull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/12/2007 7:42:55 AM   aussieman, Your feedback is still distorted, wrong. So a Polish guys tells you how a Ukrainian is, so what if one asked a Kiwi how an Aussie is or asked a Canadian how an American is, do you think they'd give an unbiased statement or do you think that just perhaps a bit of local rivalry might step in? I've been to Ukraine some 13 times and I still wouldn't ask another of a view of Ukrainians because no view can be more appropriate than the one that I have observed with my very own eyes. jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/12/2007 9:30:43 AM   Glad: I've been so busy in the last couple of weeks - I didn't see this post until just now. My deepest sympathy of course. I could barely believe what I was reading. I'm glad that you aren't bashing Ukraine (or FSU) women in general about this though. I swear that there ARE things that we typical western men don't pickup on very well in their behavior once in a while. My Moldovan lady blind-sided me last year - to a much smaller degree than your lady did of course, but I didn't have a CLUE it was coming. (I haven't really ever discussed this in the forum - but I'd be glad to tell you about it in private email). I must admit I was amazed at how nonchalantly she did it too. To put it mildly - it has something to do with why I decided to try again with someone else. This is a real knock-down. But I know you will be up and ready for what comes next in short order. I'm sure you will do the right things. FSUfemale Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/12/2007 12:35:10 PM   No good, worthy man can be nonchalantly abandoned. That's the true. Each coin has got two sides. Sorry, Glad. gladiatorUK Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/12/2007 3:03:05 PM   Jet: can you send your e-mail through the PM system on here? crashnsplash Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/12/2007 3:05:39 PM   I may never have known Glad in person but I can say that through what I have read over the years from him, listened to his thoughts over a wide range of topics and the way he has interacted with people on the net that I find him to be a very good man. He helped me and many others to find their way in this endeavor with the wisdom he had to share. If it wasn't for him and Tim I would have never stepped foot on a jet to go to Russia. In my opinion he is a stand up guy and any woman would be worthy of the type of personality he has. I am sure he has treated his wife and child with respect kindness and love they deserved. If there was anything that was otherwise in his relationship I would be shocked. I can only imagine what he is going through right now. Luckily he has friends close to him at home to help him any way they can. Plus he has his worldwide friends like some of us here. Its bad enough as it is, lets not rub salt into the wound to make it any worse than it is already. beemer18 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/12/2007 3:28:02 PM   Glad...you are right, your son is the most important thing in your life now. That is where your focus should be, along with the long task picking up the pieces. I have to say, after reading the many posts here, it is great you have a family here that will be you through thick and thin. I also realize the underlining biases from some guys here toward ukrainian girls. This may or could happen to anyone from ANY women from ANY country. Only Glad knows the specifics as to what happened and whether it was cultural or not. I've seen plenty of blood thirsty american women do worse. Where does the blame game end? This is unfortnate situation and struggles will be made but as all divorced men know life goes on, it may be a tough life but the sun will rise and set and everybody will be doing their own business. Luckily I didn't have a messy divorce but I did realize most things in life have a 'shelf life'. Not every marriage is going to last forever, it goes as long as the 2 individuals are happy with situation. It takes 2 to make it work and only 1 to tear it apart. Best therapy was to rationize things, take emotion completely out of it. Nobody wants to deal with divorce, in the short term it devestating...in the long term you rationalize that it probably worked out best. Unfortunately, most societies have accepted divorce as much as going to market for groceries. Anyone getting married should know of the high probability of divorce but we still get married. Glad, my prayers to you and your son....just keep the faith!!! Land of oz Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/12/2007 4:12:09 PM   I was married to an American woman for 20 years. She screamed and yelled every so often seemed like just out of the blue but I thought it was normal and thought I had a good marriage until one day she told me I was not giving her the life she deserved and left. Of course after 2 years in divorce court hearing all kinds of lies and deceit there was absolutely no love left. Since then I have learned quite a bit about the differences between men and women. Some of this information is crucial to a relationship. For the most part men are independent, they want to do things on their own, if they have a problem they want to be left alone to figure it out, suggestions are not welcome unless they are ready for them. Women on the other hand want care, if they have a problem they want someone to be close to them and talk about it and work through it. So now if a woman has a problem and a man does not know the difference he will out of love leave her some space which makes her think he does not care but that is what he would want her to do for him. In return if a man has a problem and the woman out of love treats him as she would want to be treated gets close to him gives suggestions and asks questions that irritate him. He might reprimand her for this, then she feels unloved. A man works things out in his head before talking about them. A woman talks to her close one almost as thinking out loud. At the end of a day a woman needs to talk and she needs her close one to listen. She talks of difficulties and things during the day. She needs the man to sympathize with her, pat her on the back and maybe say a few uhhus and ohs. Now get this guys. She does not want these things fixed, she does not want to be told these problems are nothing. She needs care. she needs to be told that what she has done during the day is appreciated. The man wants to fix what she complains about or feels that it is an attack on him because he has provided for her the life she is complaining about. Then he may feel unappreciated and will not talk. It is difficult for a man but do not fix it and do not take it as a personal insult or belittle the problem or this will be seen by her as a lack of care. You can fix it later but only as a surprise but for now she only needs support. Men need space sometimes and she needs to understand this and to know after you have had some space you will come back. So you can see it is very possible to do all of the wrong things for the right reasons and drive such a wedge between yourselves that both partners feel unloved and it is the others fault. Thunderdome Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/12/2007 4:17:18 PM   Crash, ditto, verbatim, full agreement. Glad is a good lad, and now clearly emotionally shaken if not stirred. Worse, he's trying to figure out where he might have gone wrong, and even if there's something somewhere then this is in vain by the looks of things. That is why I think he should act speedily, hastily even, for this is the time he might get an advantage - delaying it will be detrimental. And sure, I have no doubt that this is difficult emotionally speaking, but necessary & crucial nonetheless. FSUfemale, you couldn't have picked a worse chap to comment on the way you did, but besides that you hardly know him from a bar of soap. Do yourself a favour and dig in the extensive archives here on this site. Single comments tend to create an impression of a poster, multiple posts do better still. A single out of the ordinary post often says more than a whole string of posts, and in this respect very few have a blemish-free record. Glad is such an exception. MONADA Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/12/2007 4:38:48 PM   to gladiator. Stupid man. Instead being upset, be happy. Wife is smth to change every period of years.... like car. Everything is ok. Now you'll pick yourself up and find a new wife. Don't worry. I can forcast future. P.S. I hope nobody is going to kill me now........ :)) )) gladiatorUK Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/12/2007 4:41:46 PM   TD: can you leave me your e-mail addy on the PM system here? nasfan6 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/12/2007 9:44:58 PM   Crash, PM me, I will coming to Florida in a couple of months and I lost your email when I changed to wireless. nasfan6 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/12/2007 9:46:09 PM   Monada you are the epitomey of an asswipe Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > Totally taken in
	Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7