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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > Asking ladies address? Author Post Mini Cooper Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/25/2009 8:50:49 PM   Smart Martin... Tell me more about this "'American' nonsense" you speak about? Are you throwing stones at American men now? What country are you from? Land of oz Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/25/2009 10:50:51 PM   Well Martin I communicated with an it or two right at first and while I was not out any money with them it did waste time and feelings before they surfaced. The only difference I see with using an agency and communicating directly is that if it goes sour you do not know who the evil party is. While everyone knows to keep an eye on the agencies it must be realized that many women and men who have women working for them have learned deceiving foreigners is much more profitable than working and can become big business for the same people who control gambling and prostitution. Not to mention that the women I have met through an agency looked much more like their posted photos than the ones I met who just posted a profile. Any man can and do post photos and a profile on these sites to scam. At the start of a relationship both parties are on parole and it takes a lot of time to fully trust each other. With my wife I talked to her almost once a day on the phone and sent a card twice a week. Now she is visiting family there I talk to her when I wake and she sms me when she is ready to go to bed and I call her. A $10 card lasts almost a week talking a short time twice each day. But that is my preference and it works for me. You need to do what works for you. One nice thing about this is that if you do something wrong enough you learn faster and knowledge is priceless :=). nasfan6 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/26/2009 2:55:22 AM   I wouldn't go as far as saying emails are for pussies, though it should progress to phone communication in a relative short time. That time depends on both persons. I wrote my wife for about two or three months and it became difficult for her to have the letters translated by a friend, so she went and refreshed her english speaking skills. Along with going to the internet cafe to pick up her emails late at night because she had her own practice as a speech therapist. Phone communication gives you a better feel than letters thats for sure. Most ladies don't have internet in their homes, crappy connections and the expense many can't handle. Also most all of them have a cell phone. I would text my wife in the morning, call her on my lunch hour each day and spend about 4 or 6 hours talking to her over the weekend. Another point, direct phone conversations eliminate the sphere of agency influence. Sure there will be misunderstandings due to some with the language barrier but that's the fun part of working together to attain a mutual understanding. She would help me with my poor Russian speaking skills and I would help her with English. When we first met we didn't use a translator. Don't always believe that their English skills are as poor as they think. We spent a lot of time together going through the Russian/English dictionary together. This helped with the bonding process also. Rag'n'Bull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/26/2009 5:18:25 AM   Cooper, There was a forum around years ago, the first forum, I believe, that existed on this subject, it was American and, I'm not having a 'go' at any nationalities, it was heavily populated by Americans many of whom believed that their way was only 'their' way to do things. That forum posted, what they called, their 'tablets of stone', like the ten commandments, and one of those tablets was 'to be a man'. Well, phuck me, do I really need a group of unknowns to tell me how I should behave in the presence of, when with, a lady :) But it was funny, I got in to a difference of opinion one day, I still laugh at it in disbelief, with a guy and his back slapping buddy came along to tell me that his buddy should know what he's talking about, that he knows better than me, because he's got a really pretty girlfriend! I just couldn't stop laughing that these 2 guys had their heads so far up their backsides that they truly believed that he with the prettiest girlfriend was the most intelligent and knowledgable, I still laugh about it all these years later. And it was on that forum, i believe this is where it started, regarding to get a phone number and address PDQ, if she's unwilling to provide then dump the lady, and as soon as one has the address send the bunch of flowers and photographer to check her out. This 'nonsense' has continued thereafter, it has spread by word of mouth, and of course the various FSU flower retailers promote it because they want to revenue the monies from it. But, as I mentioned earlier, if a lady posts her profile on the web today, gets in to immediate correspondence with, let us say, 20 guys, those 20 guys all follow the formula of demanding her address etc. PDQ then 2 days thereafter 20 bunches of flowers and 20 photographers turn up on her doorstep, sit back and thing about such a scenario, it's frigging hilarious :) Whilst that scenario may be an exaggeration it does happen, I used to chat with many an agency lady, and quite often the bunch of flowers scenario would be raised in the conversation. gecko previously mentioned being 'shallow', well it is these men that are being shallow, that they really believe that these ladies are so stupid that the ladies do not realise such men are following a well trodden formula! gecko's said a formula of after 5 letters but of those 5 letters one lady could be really distant with the guy, writing once per day whilst another lady could be devouring her affections from the first or second letter but writing only once per week. So, by gecko's formula, there's a lady distancing herself from him and within a week he expects her to provide her 'digits' to him whilst another lady, perhaps a much better proposition, he doesn't expect her 'digits' for 5 weeks or so from the first letter. The point I'm making is that there is no formula to a relationship, every relationship scenario is different, and a guy needs to do what he feels is right given each unique scenario and if he gets it wrong then figure out why to get it right thereafter. gecko cites that writing is for 'pussies' and cites himself to be a 'real man' for conducting a relationship by telephone, so what do we call a guy who gets his backside on to aeroplanes to visit the lady(s)? I'd suggest that attempting to conduct a relationship from a long distance away to be for 'pussies' and there's only one way to conduct a relationship and that is face to face. But then we run in to an often heard 'Americanism', and I'm not having a 'go', whereas these guys complain that it's oh so expensive to fly across the Atlantic and back to meet with these ladies and many believe it reasonable to correspond by email, telephone, Skype or whatever for perhaps 6 or 12 months, is this being a 'real man', does the guy seriously expect the lady to only write etc. to, to wait on the offchance he might actually get on an aeroplane one day, him for 6 or 12 months? But my previous reference to 'American nonsense' was nothing against the US nation, it was referencing the individuals who believe the bunch of flowers and photographer nonsense, the set formula, as dictated by fellow countrymen, to developing a relation, the laughable scenario that intelligence and knowledge is decided by how pretty one's girlfriend is, and that so many of these guys believe that their 'American' ways are the only way to go, that much of the world thinks the 'American' way! FSULover Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/26/2009 9:04:18 AM   There is one good reason I never used an agency to communicate with an FSU lady. If the site or agency did not let me communicate with the lady directly, I never used it. I never (and never means, not even once) paid to read a lady's letter, or to send her a letter. I only paid to get her address (before IMBRA) or her email address. But I always refused to communicate with a lady through an agency. What was the reason for me? First, it was privacy concerns. I never wanted a third party reading (and supposedly translating) a personal letter between the lady and I. If a lady is really interested in the man, she will do anything by herself to make the communication happen. But one day I learned another more important reason... ...I met a girl who works as a translator for an agency in the Ukraine (I am not allowed to say which agency) and she described to me her real job. she said: "I like to help these poor women who are looking for love and I understand what these men want to hear (or read) from the lady. Therefore, when the lady comes to read a letter from a foreign man, I translate only what I know she will like, and then we sit down together and I write a letter in English for her. The lady gives me ideas as to what she wants to talk about and I write what I know will work for her." After hearing those words I understood that my decision about not communicating with a lady through an agency was the right one. Men who do this are talking to the translator (who could be a man too), not the actual lady. It has always been my belief that if there is no effort involved by the lady, the man is most likely wasting his time and money. Think of it this way: if you really like a lady, you will do anything to be with her. Well, they are humans too, and if they really like you, they will do anything to be with you. That is the time you realize that you found the right one. Rag'n'Bull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/26/2009 9:43:29 AM   FSULover .... and others, I agree regarding agency translation, as my (interpreter) wife put it, if she translated to the man some of the stupidity that emits from some of these ladies the man would probably do a 'runner', she translated, letters and over the dinner table etc, what she expected the man to hear, and vice versa to the lady, a lot of men utter total cr@p also. gecko Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/26/2009 4:56:47 PM   i agree with sm. face to face is the only way to go. and for an american its an expense vacation and for the girl its just another blind date. if you stop and think about it, its really scary. i remember the last time i traveled home from kiev. an american was going ballistic on a stewardess for not providing english language newspapers on a kbp to jfk flight. Everybody must have thought americans are crazy for their news but it was pretty clear to me what this was about. thats why i say that international dating is for people with a good amount of disposable income. if you have spent a years savings on a failed trip, i can see how some people can become bitter. bitterness, impatience and seriousness are not attractive qualities. this is why the rich carefree guy has such advantages. do you notice how the best looking girls end up with the guys who don't seem to care? get to phoning as soon as possible! women fall in love through the ears. gecko Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/26/2009 5:11:32 PM   digits = telephone no. to anyone under 40. thats not a knock. i think i would love debating sm over a beer or two on a lovely sunny day on kreishatik. i will be there at the end of august if you are around. just don't ask for my daughters digits! :) Rag'n'Bull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/26/2009 5:44:43 PM   (get to phoning as soon as possible! women fall in love through the ears.) This gets funnier and funnier: Now, he believes that after 5 letters he is telephoning and, they are falling in love with the sound of his voice. :) Mini Cooper Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/27/2009 4:08:09 PM   gecko, I'll be in Kiev on August 21, I'll only spend one nite there since I'll be on my way to Lviv with my girl. Perhaps you, Smart Martian and I could meet up at the Buddha Bar (14, Kreschatik street) for the debate, I'll moderate! Rag'n'Bull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/27/2009 4:25:57 PM   gecko, Kindly explain to Mini Crapper that I am nowhere near Kiev nor Ukraine :) SoCOZoomie Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/27/2009 6:39:14 PM   Thank you all for the enlightening posts. I am still quite new to this and am learning. It would appear by luck that I've followed some of your formulae - I've never paid for anything so far - my girl contacted me and gave me her private email in the 1st letter, ditching the agency (RussianEuro.com). I disagree with getting to phone at the earliest though, because I don't speak Russian at all (yet) and there is a good, FREE online translation tool: http://www.translation2.paralink.com/ - it takes some time and patience, but I send letters in English and then translated by this tool. NOTE: If you try to translate it twice, it comes back a bit awkward, but still mostly legible. Further, I think that writing allows for a bit deeper conversation until you get to know someone really well. Mini Cooper Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/27/2009 6:41:25 PM   gecko, This is wonderful! gecko and I could meet for a glass of wine and not have the irritation of Smart Martian there! gecko Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/27/2009 10:05:13 PM   fsulover = ragingbull does anybody dispute that?....buehler? I will be there on the 30th and i have no idea where you live SM. maybe your mommys basement? baron555 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/28/2009 8:12:17 AM   Zommie, the reason the folks have been mentioning the phone is that eventually you will have to talk live with the lady (this is the goal, right?). For myself, I corresponded via email almost daily (luckily she has Internet in her flat) and after about two weeks I asked for her phone number. Our first call heard me stuttering out some very bad Russian phrases and her saying Problem Problem Problem. Even though she had studies English, she later admitted that her teachers all had accents and/or she was taught British English; my Chicago American accent was totally foreign. Now, 6 months later, we talk all the time and there is no problem. Because of the inital difficulty with phone conversations, she suggested we do Skype. Just after this started, at the two month mark in our correspondence, we both, simultaneously agreed we were attracted to each other and we should meet. We then began to correspond exclusively, we both dropped any other men or women we were corresponding with and began to plan our meeting. Now, some will ask how long until certain things should take. I think that the better measure is the content of the relationship and the correspondence. You will know when to make the next move. But you should be prepared to go visit as soon as it is time to do that. Rag'n'Bull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/28/2009 8:23:57 AM   SoCO, There is a practice where ladies will immediately provide emails because, within a period of time, a website/agency may receive reports that they are a scammer and delete their profile. I'm not saying this is the case with your lady but I think you've mentioned that her profile became deleted thus 2 + 2 might equal 4 SoCOZoomie Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/28/2009 1:10:52 PM   baron555: Yes, I agree that for any relationship to progress that 1) you find the lady 2) you write 3) she writes back 4) repeat for awhile 5) either phone numbers and/or addresses are exchanged (though likely the former nowadays since the internet is much more effective than snail-mail) 6) you talk 7) perhaps exchange via video server (i.e. Skype) and finally 8) you travel or she does (or both) because in the end you have to be in the same physical space to know for certain whether or not you're compatible together. Would that be about right by any fair measure? I really like your story and hope that it holds true for me as well. I agree that time is not the issue but content. Smart Martin: That's good to know and I'll keep a heads-up. Not applicable here though because it was other profiles that had done that, not hers on RussianEuro. Right now she is answering more of my questions as she can get to them and is so far quite wonderful. FSULover Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/28/2009 6:45:30 PM   People here talk about the rules regarding when is the proper time to ask for a phone number, but the truth is that there are no rules and you should ask when you feel like it. In my case, my fiancee and I met one day, exchanged three or four short messages that day, and the following day I asked her if she instead wanted to talk on the phone and she replied with her number. No long letters, no few days, no few weeks. Just a few messages after meeting for the first time and she was comfortable giving me her number. Therefore, it all depends on who you are dealing with. You can ask anytime. If she says no, respect her decision and agree to talk about it again later. If she agrees, call her at a reasonable time and try to have a conversation. There are no rules that tell you exactly how you must go about meeting and talking to an FSU lady. You are the only one who should know what is the proper approach for everything in your particular case. Rag'n'Bull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/28/2009 7:54:51 PM   FSULover, Exactly the point I have been trying to make ..... Thank You! P.S. But FSULover, how are they going to fall in love with gecko's voice if he can't phone them? :) SoCOZoomie Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/29/2009 12:21:08 AM   FSULover and Martin: Yes, there is no 'set time', I'm just a bit slow. (grin) Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > Asking ladies address?
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