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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > Help to get my girlfriend to Sweden Author Post GLTALLTOAD Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/11/2004 2:13:34 PM   Michael, I am just playing the devil's advocate role on this one, lol And I don't oatmeal, lol michaelbutler Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/11/2004 2:20:23 PM   got ya lol I hate oatmeal DannE Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/12/2004 4:11:28 AM   Ok first of all. Im not asking for critics. Im 22 years old she is 24. Its is no problem, Im from Sweden not Usa so there is different rules. Im asking for help so help me with advices. /Daniel dma Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/12/2004 4:17:32 AM   quite right. GLTALLTOAD Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/12/2004 2:26:09 PM   <~~~~~~Chief Adviser to Dann, 1. Stay in School 2. Study hard. 3. Seek a good job in a country where taxes will not eat +60% of your income. 4. Save money to buy a home or flat. 5. Live debt free (home mortgage being the only exception) 6. Lead a healthy lifestyle. 7. DO NOT GET MARRIED UNTIL YOU HAVE ACCOMPLISHED ALL OF THE ABOVE Amen....:) Dale E Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/12/2004 3:17:39 PM   And then when you're 50 yrs. old you can think about getting married and starting a family. TimH Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/12/2004 4:15:42 PM   Dann :o)) Well said mate !! I personally would never judge you for doing what you want to do, and I hope that you and you lady will be very happy together :o)) Broke you may well be, but damn you will have each other, and thats all that matters !! "I would live in a tin shack on a swamp with no money whatsoever, so long as I could do it with a woman who loves me and I love her" !!! Dann, many here would love to be in your position, just starting out in the world and already in love with a beautiful lady, you fill your boots mate and have everything you want, dont liten to the moaning old gits here :o))) Check all your embassy and imigration sites, do your home work and Im sure soon you will be able to marry your lady and bring her home to Sweden :o)) And if you gotta work hard to survive, at least you will be doing it together, again more to hope for than many ever achieve !! Good luck and best wishes from me dma Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/12/2004 4:49:07 PM   lol@dale It took me several years using a similar 1-6 notation above to realise that it MATTERS NOT when you do things - in particular to having a child in my case which I always had an excuse not to do, the same with marriage. I always managed to find one reason (excuse) or another NOT to do it. Anyone can have and raise a child and it makes them no less or better a parent and factors including but not limited to studying, job, money, home, debt-free, blah blah blah make little difference or have any chronological dependance upon each other. Live your own life as you see fit. Take what limited chances present themselves and make the most of them and don't be an old fart trying to rekindle opportunities once lost because you 1. Stayed in School 2. Studied hard. 3. Got a good job in a country where taxes will not eat +60% of your income. 4. Saved money to buy a home or flat. 5. Lived debt free (home mortgage being the only exception) 6. Lead a healthy lifestyle. using the above, hardly any bugger would be married. scottlf Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/12/2004 4:54:23 PM   I'm not choosing sides (thought I am sure it would appear that I am). "I would live in a tin shack on a swamp with no money whatsoever, so long as I could do it with a woman who loves me and I love her" !!! A house built on SAND may be expedient, but usually will not last the test of time. A house built on a solid foundation is more likely to weather the storm. To put it another way, if true love lasts forever, then it surely can wait till your "nest" is built. However, if your soul intention is to have a tin shack on swamp with no money whatsoever (I would state negative money, but I really doubt many people are actually solvent!), then go for it. GLTALLTOAD Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/12/2004 5:51:20 PM   Dma, C'mon, mate...following the steps I recommended would hardly prevent anyone from getting married. Quite the contrary. Those steps are for people who want to get married with a reasonable stable financial situation in addition of being madly in love with their spouse. Being financially responsible is not the enemy of love or marriage. What kind of nonsense is that???? Also, by building a healthy and responsible financial foundation you reduce (not eliminate) the risks of marriage failure due to financial hardship or disagreements. ......"I would live in a tin shack on a swamp with no money whatsoever, so long as I could do it with a woman who loves me and I love her" !!! ..... (I could never love or even look at a woman willing to live in a tin shack in the swamp, lol.....bbbbrrrr) Once again, there is nothing wrong with being financially responsible before and during marriage....nothing at all. dma Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/12/2004 6:11:48 PM   It wouldn't "prevent" you from the getting married, the question would be "when". Lifes are short enough as it is to "wait" until all other criteria are in place...quite frankly for "most" people; they never are in place. Financial Stability: Why do most marriages result in the woman taking the man to the cleaners? Most disputes in marriages seem to resolve around finances. The more you have the more they seem to argue or it becomes an issue rather than settling and being comfortable with what you have and appreciation that eliminating avarice. So it can equally be argued to the contrary that finances INCREASE failure rates. To somehow infer that financial stability equates to marital stability is IMO nonsense and I would be grateful of a source of reference. The stability comes from the personalities and traits of each partner and how they communicate and understand each other. Not, how much dosh the other has in their pocket. In the good old days of yesteryear, divorce was virtually unheard of as equally was the materialism of today. Strange how the two have grown in parallel. GLTALLTOAD Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/12/2004 6:32:42 PM   Dma, Life is not short. It is very long, actually. It last ...er...ahem...a whole 'lifetime', ....:))) You have 70-80 years to make your marks in this world with that one life you have. Why pissing it away by being poor to start with? The notion that 'life is short' comes from: 1. The irrefutable fact that in comparison we stay dead much longer....or 2. From people who piss away their lives and realize too late how much time they wasted being non-productive. SEX & MONEY are the two main reasons why people divorce in western countries. Few other reasons come even close. The financial stability I foment and recommend , in this case to the young swedish kid in love, is for his own benefit, not mine. Personal financial stability and responsibility do not equate marital stability, nor do they give you any guarantees of any color....but it is undeniable that life is better lived with love and no financial shortcomings. Anyone who vilifies the peace of mind that 'having money' brings to an individual or a couple is pushing the dust under the rug. The examples you use of women taking men to the cleaners because they have money does not make money a culprit. Blame the selfish bitch who swindled the guy...or even blame him for not protecting himself.... Money only makes us more of what we already are. A generous person will be even more generous if he/she is rich. An irresponsible person will waste it. A selfish person will use it only for his/her own pleasure. etc etc etc.... TimH Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/12/2004 7:32:42 PM   Dale: " I'm not choosing sides " Wimp !!! ;o))) I bet you dont vote either ;o)) "I would live in a tin shack on a Rock mountain with no money whatsoever, so long as I could do it with a woman who loves me and I love her" Happy now ;o))) All I was saying is that material thinsg dont matter, what matters is that you are happy, and if you have nothing but the shack, and love, then you can still be happy !!! GLT: If I had $50 for every couple who has said "We wont have kids yet we are going to wait until we can afford them" I would be a rich man !!! Noone can Ever afford kids, but if we all acted like these boring biddies the human race would die out very fast !!! Del`: On your Financial Stability paragraph, Amen brother Del`, that paragraph should be set in stone !!!! Man Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/12/2004 9:47:20 PM   -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It wouldn't "prevent" you from the getting married, the question would be "when". Lifes are short enough as it is to "wait" until all other criteria are in place...quite frankly for "most" people; they never are in place. A good friend of mine has the attitude that a man should have it "together" BEFORE he gets married. I've seen him let go 1 or 2 women over this. Now .....he is almost 50 years old and never been married. And it's not because of his looks either. The guy was always like a magnet with women. I think a good woman doesnt care if you havent made it yet. A good woman wants to be with you while your making it and she thinks a man who wants to wait till he nas made his mark in the world, only does so out of his pride....... Of course, if you live in Los Angles County, where my friend does, you might get the impression that women want a wealthy man only. Gee....... I wonder why that is............!! GLTALLTOAD Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/13/2004 2:22:32 AM   Man, Allow me to let you in a little well known secret.....a good woman does not care if you've made it yet because she wants to stand by you while you make it, she wants to be your right hand while you got out there to slay the 21st century financial dragons and bring home the bacon to feed the entire household....these basic, primitive and fundamental observations are completely out of sight to most western spoilt rotten women who only think about themselves and what they can squezze out of a man. amen #2...:))) GLTALLTOAD Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/13/2004 2:23:58 AM   How about them apples, uh? TimH Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/13/2004 4:53:47 AM   "The guy was always like a magnet with women." There is your answer Man !! He has got so used to bedding whoever he feels like, whenever he feels like, he cant settle with one woman any more, thats the reason he still isnt married, not because he hasnt got it together yet. But of course if at 50 he still really hasnt got his life together, then its unlikely he ever will !!! But I bet its more that he still plays the field simply because he has and he can !!! Western women suck !!! Well actually, many dont, not after you marry them !!! And thats a whole new problem !!! idiotdetector Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/13/2004 5:49:53 AM   I will chose a side. Do as you please, make your own mistakes or fortunes. scott, it is better to build a nest for your loved one than to build it in hope of finding one. to all critics, if they are in love, let them struggle together. the man is looking for visa advice etc, all the information you have given I am sure he can get from his parents dma Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/13/2004 7:07:44 AM   lol@ID. Quite right. nasfan6 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/13/2004 7:55:36 AM   I only have one rule when it comes to money It is an excellent servant, but a terrible master. As for divorcing for sex and money, how true that's what my ex did, she like having sex all the time, but it just wasn't with me and she did get alot of my money. It was an education well worth paying for, it opened my eyes to what material worth is really all about. I've now learned it's not near so important to make a living but to make a life. 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