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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > ok i have a clever plan ........so clever you could pin a tail on it and call it a weasle !!! Author Post GLTALLTOAD Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/29/2004 12:41:53 PM   Damn, my greammer sacks toodey, lol.... PaulM Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/29/2004 8:12:34 PM   Toad I think you put the point across right on the button, marrying a woman from FSU, the family comes as part of the deal, its not like buying a puppy. My wife's family is very interested on a day to day basis what is going on with our lives, married. 2 years nearly now, just as time passes they trust me more and more with their daughter, but it takes time and hard work. Saying that, they are like a second mother and father to me as well, I didn't take their daughter, I joined the family. deephouse Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/30/2004 12:24:43 AM   Fact 1-there are two families involved in any marriage, both deserve respect and consideration Fact 2-unless you and your partner to be, are planning to live in in FSU, then your country of origin is where you will live. Fact 3-it is her who is going to have to make the cultural move , language and adjustments my opinions out of consideration for your new partner and her planned leaving of her country of origin, a holiday to meet and see where she might be living is a must unless you just plan to shock the hell out of her.(Not a good idea) your first meeting in the country you plan to make your life in gives her the chance to fully comprehend the move that she is contemplating, for most Russian girls travelling to a different continent will be a first. For this reason the distance from family and friends will be unnerving only offset by the fact she is with you. If you read the girls posts on their forum you will hear of a great many stories of failed relationships once the lady has moved to a new country and she has returned home !! Even after meeting and marrying in her native country (Not the desired outcome) this in their own words, is put down to the fact of culture shock I tend to think it's more along the lines of stereotyped western views of Russians in general(finger-pointing by neighbours" there goes that mail order Russian bride girl") scenario. By first meeting in the country you both intend to live in for a holiday your prospective partner has a chance to take into account how different life will be . It gives her a chance to go home and tell her parents and friends of what she had seen likes and dislikes and then to make a more informed decision on such a huge move. For some I believe this would dispel the romantic visions they may have had and give her some facts and feelings to go on, or not go on. On a less important note, I like the idea that most of these ladies have yet to experience a big trip abroad to a western culture and becoming involved with me will give them that regardless on whether or not we eventually marry. The freedoms we take for granted should be shared, well I would like to share mine. The idea of going to the FSU to meet a half dozen prospective wives I find to say the least, tacky,And fully reinforces the shopping mall mentality that seems to prevail. toad -I never said I did not intend to visit her parents and family and friends, I also feel this is a must. But only after she had meet me either in FSU or in New Zealand and I would only feel comfortable after a series of visits in both directions, but I would prefer for the reasons above that she meet me here first and I am willing to fund that option if need be. deephouse GLTALLTOAD Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/30/2004 1:17:38 PM   Deep, The western or foreign man must visit the FSU woman in her homeland FIRST. You're lucky your country's inmigration laws allows for her to visit you fairly easily as you described early. Both families are important, but the woman's family is the one who will be deprived of their child's presence on a daily basis if and when she marries and moves away. I get the sense that your family is 'helping' you make these important decisions that you should be making all on your own. Give her family the respect they deserve. Once that's established knock yourselves out and have her come visit you as many times as you wish. Olga, what is your "not so humble" opinion on this? good luck, Deep toad deephouse Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/31/2004 3:13:14 AM   all my own thoughts toad ,my family wonders why i feel compelled to meet someone so far away !! i have no answer except i have met someone and distance these days is not too much of an issue for me ,attraction knows nothing of boundries .i became a member of this site after an attempted scam though a local site by a russian lady .curiousity lead me here .now my partener to be keeps me firmly glued to my email . imigration sent me a stack of visa aplications ,sponsorship forms and all the other bits and pieces ,i am only asking one girl and they want me to invite a volleyball team !! go figure ? hopefully luck ,the force,divine intervention ,destiny , my personallity and youthfull good looks will be enough .lol its always a hard road finding the perfect lady . deephouse wessman Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/31/2004 6:34:28 PM   Bigger Issues? Deephouse, I know about workaholics and how controlling a personality like this can become, we hold on to everything with dear life because if we let go the whole world will spin out of control, or so it appears. I can not call you a workaholic or an out of control, control freak, I know that universal law states that the only constant in life is change. I do not know why at this time in your life you find yourself single and unattached. I can only guess (hhmmm????) I think that if you can not take time off from your work you might consider giving up on your quest. A healthy, loving, and growing relationship takes work. If you are married to your job it would be unfair to your new woman as this relationship would be nothing more than a casual affair. deephouse Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/1/2004 11:06:05 AM   Wess , by no stretch of the imagination could I be called a workaholic lol I have spent my whole life engineering a lifestyle which gives me the freedom to pursue what I want to do when I want to do it. I have done the hard yards and for the last three years things have been pretty easy. The whole point of this very thread was because the only thing I can not do is leave the country at the present time. And being somewhat industrious I found that in my case I met all my country's criteria for sponsoring visitors and thought and still do because no one has yet has given me a good enough reason not too that it is an option. Having given this whole subject a great deal of thought which is the idea of posting in the forum like this, I am starting to think(and from some mail I have received) that the whole idea of who visits who first-respect for family etc is quite different depending on who you talk to for instance someone with a level nine English living in a major city with a liberal view compared to someone rural and living a traditional Russian life. There is a great difference. A bit of background .... I am 35, financially secure,(just) was married for 11 years, have been single for four. And I just find New Zealand woman are generally not my cup of tea, well in four years of dating I haven't found anyone I would want to marry. And the last thing I need is a casual affair-I can get that at my local bar. Deephouse wessman Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/1/2004 2:03:31 PM   Deephouse, your logic does not support your position, and your words do not support your cause, perhaps it is just your nature to be contradictory, and that is cool by me, I am an empathetic man. You are not a workaholic you say right after you state "I have spent my whole life engineering a lifestyle which gives me the freedom to pursue what I want to do when I want to do it. I have done the hard yards and for the last three years" A whole lifetime, I would like to take the easier softer road as I have stated in other threads. Can’t I find a desperate woman that is sick of the cold and her country that wants out? Over the years I have not been a good listener or one to follow directions I was making a lot of mistakes and hurting pretty bad when I got here. These guys gave me the hard truths, me I am going to listen. Be just my luck and get a girl over here and she is a transvestite, oh yeah they have them over there too I have seen them on line they like my photo. Wess Buckeyeman Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/1/2004 6:53:11 PM   Wes, at least she would be a russian Transvestite!!LOL just kidding. Just do your homework, my friend. Ask questions. I have been in this 'game' for almost 7 months, which in reality, there are plenty of guys who have been in it longer. I just love to do research on tons of webpages about this area. Another Good one I can suggest is www.russian-travel.net wessman Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/1/2004 7:27:45 PM   PRETTY LOW DUDE! Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > ok i have a clever plan ........so clever you could pin a tail on it and call it a weasle !!!
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