I think that most in FSU - US marriage depend on men. If you are sure that you do not want a divorce you will not have it.
My friend had divorced several days ago. She's got $30 000. It is not enough to buy a 2 bedroom apartment in Russia and pay for University for her daughter. She's lost and of course her ex lost a lot - money and 3 years of life.
Vanechka has stated that Eastern-Western marriage depends on the woman. It is up to her and she will surely leave you.(and take your money) It is sad about your friend's divorce and I take it that the man was the one who proceeded with the divorce.
Woman is looking for a relative soul, happiness and respect.
Money is very delicate issue in relationship. I remember the pain then man whom I loved that time made me then he push me to feel that it is he who pays then i asked him to buy me $2 battery for my digital camera (I do not have cash with me that time).
Money is not the goal. But she is absolutely dependent on you for at least 6 month before she will get working permission. This situation can ruin the family if men will not show love and respect. Very easily she begin to feel that he treats her like a slave.
" i'll gladly take the woman from the FSU and enjoy it while it lasts" Dale-e do you have that expansive taste? does the US not have something like a 40 quarters law that state that for that period you are financially responsible for the girl whatever happens?
Bagira In my country 70% of the request for divorce are filled by women. Especially in intercultural marriages between western man and not western women it depends on the girl. The most common reason for divorce is money. Since for many FSU women the most important reason to marry is money (ask pitcka about a bunch of messages that she deleted on the Russian side of this forum), thinking about the cost of divorce is important.
Expansive or Expensive? Ron, yes we are liable for two years if I remember correctly. It is set up as to where you would be liable for certain government assistance programs that she might sign for. Maybe it is 3 yrs. I remember somewhere someone stating that you are responsible forever. That is not what I have read on Immigration sites. Basically, you cannot bring a foreigner over and then sign her up for welfare or other similar programs. Also, I think there is a two year period before she can apply for a greencard. If the marriage is ended before that time, she must simply return home but I am not sure how divorce proceedings go. I am sure that you can still lose your ass even if she must leave. Maybe someone else who knows more could speak up.
Personally it is not that important to me how much US man must pay. Welfare in the US is not that much though 40 quarters is ten year!
Welfare here is 70 or 90% of minimum wage which is the 3th highest in the world, she is entitled from the moment of status.
I have to sign that the state has no cost from the moment i plan for her stay over 3 months.This is an amount in the area of 90,000 euro, and beyond my reach.
I do not know when she is entitled to stay or has to leave, the state is deliberately vague about that.
Therefore i did some research how many women would take (ab)use of this situation (see in other tread), it is probably not that much, but maybe as much as 10%, if the situation in the US would be the same than a larger number of women might get ideas.
P.s. administrators could you delete this message about Friday the 24th.
expAnsive only if you want a harem.
This is a factor for me. When she gets here will she be able to make a living? Unlike my last wife. 2 people making a reasonable amount of money each stabilize the family and the future will be prosperous and hopefully somewhat worry free. If you are constantly worried about money it is an undermining factor. It is a real determining factor for me. By no means the only one. There are many things I look for. This lady I have found seems to completely fit my bill and it is a pleasure speaking to her. Tough choice to make though because they are all so wonderful.
Another lady I really like is training to be a hairdresser. That is a steady job and easily obtained. She can also pick it up and put it down any time she likes, anywhere she likes. Wish I could say the same in my job. It is definitely a factor for me. I really don't want to hook up with a cheese packer or women's soccer coach. I think it should be something more practical. Incidentally what is actualy meant by an economist?
My lady just asked me if i thought I made enough money to FEED her three times a day. I told her "I'm pretty sure I do."
She asked - will we be able to have GOOD breakfasts like - yogurt, cheese, ham and bread (meaning would I be able to afford these things daily. I said that I;m pretty sure I can handle it. Then I said I'll pay for them if you will get up and prepare them nicely - she said that would be great - she wil be happy to cook if I will buy the food.
Do they really wonder if we have enough money to eat? I think she may be playing games with you. Some of the ladies I have been emailing with have cell phones, internet at home, digital cameras etc. Doesn't seem all that different. Although the computer at home does seem more rare. I have never been there. Only going off emails.
However, divorce there does seem to be the norm from all the communications I have had so far which is a little scary. Most of the ladies I have tried to write with are not only divorced but their parents are divorced also. So, it makes you wonder about the sanctity of marriage in their mind set and culture. But we aren't doing so well at staying married in America, so I use that thought as a counter balance.
I have never met a divorced woman yet in America who has never described her ex as (him) or the asshole. I have never met a woman yet from the Ukraine who doesn`t have anything nice to say about their ex either . The ex husband always seems to be the no good bastard. Why is this ?
Soccer,
Divorce rans rampant worldwide.
FSU is no exception.
Take your sweet time choosing your woman, mate.
UNfortunately, the ones with ZERO divorce experience, like my Lena, still may have some remnants of the "love will conquer all" concepts that misleads people to avoid talking about sensitive subject like divorce, prenups, marriage plans, finances, sex legalities, lifestyles, children and above all, good communication techniques.
Even after almost two years of knowing each other, I have to remind her sometimes that love alone is not enough to build the healthy marriage we want to last a lifetime.
Serious planning, open communication skills and commitment agreements are just as important.
jmoluv - just a stab in the dark, if there was something nice to say about the ex, they wouldn't be divorced.
On a personal note, by the way, whenever my kids would come to my place and say something negative about their mother - I would shut them down immediately. I always told them that regardless of the differences that I might have with her - she was still their mother and as such I demanded that they show her respect.
I have learned since that this was unilateral respect - as she was trashing me on a regular basis. And as they say, "Throw enough sh*t against the wall and eventually some of it will stick."
It stuck.
Regarding the food Soccer... she wasn't playing games or joking. Along with the idea that it "never fully warms up in Green Bay" told to her by her interviewer in Bucharest (It's over 90 today by the way in Green Bay) she is also convinced that EVERYTHING is more expensive in America. Why? Because we have higher wages. And she reasons that if good food was affordable more Americans would eat it rather than junk food - really hard to argue that one with her.
Can't wait for her to arrive.
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