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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > Women with children Author Post idiotdetector Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/27/2004 4:02:31 AM   to gary if you are corresponding with a woman with a child, look back though the forum as there is a strand about women with children. May make for interesting reading Ptichka Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/27/2004 4:10:33 AM   You know here a man can just say "no" for the question about his child leaving from Russia, just because he thinks "I'm staying here and I won't have a chance to leave so my wife and child should stay here too, if I suffer so then should suffer too", and some may be very angry if their ex-wife finds somebody and is happy, he thinks "If I'm unhappy then why should she be happy?". It's not that I came across such a situation, this is the matter of the mentality, I guess. Dale E Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/27/2004 4:54:17 AM   I maybe crazy, but I tend to favor a woman with a child because of the simple fact that I think it will be easier to cope with her new life in a foreign country. I know that anyone who leaves their country that they were born in is going to really get homesick for friends and family they leave behind, leading to second guessing of what they have done. This is my own opinion and I know there are a hundred reasons everyone could give as to the contrary. Does anyone agree or am I just nuts? Children have a way of catching on faster and could actually become a good teacher to their mothers. And besides that , I like kids! idiotdetector Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/27/2004 6:02:58 AM   Sorry Dale, I disagree. I know what you are saying and it would seem to make sence I know, but it can also work on the fact that she already has her own little family and if things get a little rough, she is never alone even if she leaves you. I also know another woman with a child about 12 years old maybe and the child learnt english easily without going to english school but this has not helped the mother. Learning Language is a very personal thing, as in different for all of use and if that child is old enough to speak russian well before they came, you house could become a difficult place where you are the outsider as two people in it will mostly speak Russian as it is easy for them. idiotdetector Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/27/2004 6:10:05 AM   Ptichka Not everyones life in Russia is so bad you know, some girl seek husband for just that reason, to have a husband, not for a better materialistic life. My point is, without going on forever is this. Maybe this woman left her husband, I know my x wife left her daughters father, and maybe that man loves his children as any parent does. In our western fathers always want to see there children after they are devorced. If a Russian man loves his children, why should a woman have the last say as to whether or not he will ever see his chilren again. I know I would not be happy about it, would you? crashnsplash Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/27/2004 6:13:59 AM   Well, I have my own daughter and Ive raised her myself since she was a baby. I have no problem with children at all, I love kids. But there was no way I wanted a woman with a child. I dont want to come off as insensitive, but this visa process is going to be difficult enough as it is to get her here if things work out for us, and there is no way I want to go through what Ptichka describes. That is the very reason I was turned off by women with children.. I know my sweetheart wants children, and she knows I want them as well. I just didnt want more than one child already in the family, one is enough for now. This was my plan from the very beginning before we ever met. As for her being homesick.. I know this is a problem that will come up for us and I will do everything possible to make sure she always can contact her family and friends. I will even get her parents a computer with internet access so they may always be in constant communication, thats her decision. There is NO way I want to cut off her ties to her family. Her parents will always be welcome here and her and I will always be able to go visit them when she chooses. Ptichka Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/27/2004 6:31:11 AM   As for connection with parents and family, I'm not sure what it is in other families, but in my family (meaning not only my parents, but my distant relatives) all relatives are a unity, and though we don't see each other often (as some live in Russian, Latvia, Estonia, and in other former republics of the former USSR) but when we meet, there is no feeling that we don't communicate often. I just wanted to show that connection ties with family are not so easy to be broken for people from here. :) dma Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/27/2004 6:32:29 AM   I write from a UK legal perspective... (I am not a legal person but have read and understand enough) As an unmarried father, you have no god given right to joint decisions on your child's future. Any rights of fathers generally have to be confirmed in a court of law, unless the mother has consented and has given that Parental Responsibility (PR) in a formal agreement. Even then she can still decline and a court is unlikely to punish here because it wouldn't be in the best interests of the child - basically she can still * you, regardless. In the UK, PR is now given by default on signing the birth certifcate, a law that only changed last year; but in the absence of either - an married father, technically has no rights other than the rights to pay if the mother demands it which she often does or is encouraged to pursue by the state in return for benefits. The law really is quite an ass. In the first instance, a mother can veto all other decisions, even from the father; and likely to be just as un-cooperative even with a court contact, visitation order or PR approval. You have a god given right to pay, and that's all. Everything else - 'see you in court'. Total waste of time & money. So much for equality. Rant over. :-/ ensata Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/27/2004 8:25:56 AM   The woman I will be visiting in July (Moldova) has a child. She has friends with children who found U.S. husbands, moved to the U.S. and now some 5 years later are doing great. I prefer women with children, as I have young children who live with me. A woman with her own children will be better prepared to be a mother to my children. Being prepared to father (or mother) someone else’s children is something that should be a very serious consideration. I was writing regularly with a woman from Siberia with two children. She was gorgeous, classy, educated kind etc... But she had already been married and divorced to an English man (I hope it was not Tim!), who basically was not prepared to be a father to two small children. So now she is looking again, and she wants a man who already has children. I was definitely interested in her. But my philosophy is one girl at a time once I plan on visiting her. In all the correspondences that I have had with women with children I have asked early on about the status of the bio father and about how hard it would be for her child to leave the country. Her response became a significant factor in the continuance of our relationship. Of cource she could lie, but she could lie about anything, and sooner or later you find out if she is a liar or not. Lucy's ex-husband is not only long gone, but living in another country. I do think that for the most part, a woman with a child is potentially more serious minded and mature, and willing to get married and move for her child and futures sake. I really do not think that it is any woman’s dream to ride the foreign husband ticket to a strange land, dump the husband and end up on welfare in a strange land away from her family and life long friends. It is more likely that a husband unprepared to have ready made kids has driven her to this. The last tip I offer is make sure this woman w/child comes from a good intact family herself, and is not a second or third generation single mother. If she has a good family then she wants, and needs the same for herself and her child, and will be willing to do any thing to make it work with you. dma Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/27/2004 9:04:08 AM   The last tip is a good one and one that should be taken note of. I only wish I had listened to that or taken heed of that caution one year ago making the mistake of going with a woman (with children - although kids are never the problem, they're too innocent) with a very broken family history including her own. Dale E Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/27/2004 12:17:12 PM   I appreciate everyone's input on this touchy subject. I can say that I can agree with all because there is no right or wrong answer. I married very young. I have a son(28) and a daughter(25).I am almost 46. I was married for ten yrs. During the last year of marriage, the wife jumped ship and left me with the kids.It was hell with the wife leaving for another man, finding anyone who would watch the kids on no notice at all and of working for a company that expect me to get in a 60 hr. work week. To my surprise at the divorce preccedings, she was awarded custody and moved to a neighboring state. I was granted visitation every other weekend and a few holidays (no christmas) Being the generous person that she is, ex-wife let me call kids once a week.I still made the 150 mile trip to getthem and to take them back every other weekend. I feel I missed out on being a real father. The kids now live near me. My daughter has two children now (5 & 3) who I spoil to death due to statements above. My point is I'm getting old and don't know if I want to "sire" anymore of my own. I used to laugh at friends who had children spaced 20 yrs. apart and now I'm looking at a 30 yr. span.lol So a child of 10 yrs. or so would fit perfectly for me. My daughter did move back in with me when she was 15. So I do know the troubles of teenagers. idiotdetector Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/28/2004 4:51:26 AM   Pitchka Family ties may be difficult to break for some people, no doubt, but if that child is small and no bond was made to begin with, not seeing your babies grow up is difficult on anyone if they did wish to be a part of there lifes. dma whenI said god given right I meant the morel difference between right and wrong, not the courts interpretation of it, we all no that men are ususally the loosers in such battles but it does not make it right. dma Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/28/2004 5:04:35 AM   I understood what you meant ID, I just wanted to post a rant about how unfair and prejudiced the system is against men and how women quite openly abuse it and get away with it. Whilst it's a natural concern when involved with any other man's child, the likelyhood of difficulties I imagine are quite small as the mother's rights are virtually bullet-proof despite the fact that the child shares an equal 50% of chromosones. If anything the male genes are dominant getting to determine the sex of the child, and in reality the female gets to decide when sex occurs. ;) But somehow society seems to consider women to be the "fit" and "responsible" parent. "morals" and my "ex" are two words that should exist in the same sentance. ;) idiotdetector Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/28/2004 5:14:05 AM   Same for mine, same for mine. dma Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/28/2004 5:18:28 AM   > "morals" and my "ex" are two words that should exist in the same sentance. ;) damn edit feature...that should read: "...that should NOT exist in..." idiotdetector Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/28/2004 5:28:17 AM   I know what you ment and my reply was for NOT. GLTALLTOAD Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/28/2004 5:11:05 PM   TO KID OR NOT TO KID!!!! Before someone blows a gasket and starts a fight, accept that everyone is sailing a different boat on different waters and at different speeds. I raised my two oldest ones (girl/boy) for ten years after divorcing their female canine mother. Now that they're grown and gone to college, I would gladly help an FSU woman raise her MALE child(ren). After rasing my oldest of 2 daugthers I can tell you I'm all out of patience for another female puberty in my life. Some men are not equipped to deal with daily and even hourly female hormone rages. I tip my hat to those who are, lol idiotdetector Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/29/2004 7:42:10 AM   talltoad I agree, I was just trying to show that there is two ways of looking at everything, sometimes more. TimH Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/29/2004 6:01:50 PM   "How much for your children ? I want to buy your women" What film, and who said it ? ;o)) crashnsplash Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/29/2004 8:16:01 PM   cheech and chong, LOL! Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > Women with children
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