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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > FSU woman and stepchildren Author Post danny3777 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/13/2005 5:33:13 PM   ** If you've married someone 15 yrs or more your Junior & it's working, Let's hear about it... Mindwire, This is where I should keep quiet but instead I shall try to explain my personal situation whilst refraining from discussing certain personal issues. You cannot go on years of age diffences but moreso percentages. If you're talking about 15 years then ages of 18 & 33 are quite significant but as the years go on 15 years difference, in percentages, becomes less and less. A guy of 65 and a lady of 50, isn't that quite normal? When I started dating FSU ladies some 7+ years ago we didn't have the informative websites as we have today and, like many a guy, I was like a kid in a candy store and for the sake of 2 years I was twice the age of my first (drop dead gorgeous) girlfriend. I've mentioned, admitted, previously that life is a learning stage, I've dated the young ones, I've dated the ones closer to my own age and I'll tell you what, I've had more trouble with the older ones rather than the younger ones! After the intial 'kid in a candy store' scenario I have deliberately steered away from the younger ones but in the case of my wife we didn't meet via the internet, we met in person during our travels. She is in excess of 15 years younger than I and I'm not going to discuss what our ages are because, in our circumstancew, it is totally irrelevant. During our relationship we did split up because we both felt that we were following the same old beaten track, western man meets eastern lady, romance, fiancee visa etc. etc. etc. Having split up, some 2 months later, our paths crossed again, unplanned, and we decided to hang out together, for approximately 2 week, as 'just friends'. That time together is a time that neither of us will ever forget, all pressure was off, we were just 2 friends hanging out and getting drunk together. During that time we rediscovered each other, we came to realise that we do truly enjoy being with each other, having fun with each other, loving each other so why should we not be together just because there is a 15+ year age difference between us? Now, in my opinion, I have met one in a million and after 5 years of looking. I'm not suggesting that this is, or should be. the norm but it's right for us and we don't particularly care about our age difference, we are two best friends who truly love each other so why shouldn't we be together? If the truth were know, I'd prefer if she were 10 years older, I've told her that, and we wouldn't be having this conversation now but I've met the one for me and her age is something I cannot change Mindwire Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/13/2005 6:22:34 PM   I stand corrected.... for some strange reason that's been happening to me about every 20 minutes today..... I'm 40... people think I'm 30, unless they're told otherwise.... but I have to question the motives of a woman under 25... especailly the 18 y.o. babes that have it in their profile that they're looking for a man from 18-28..... I did get one letter from a woman who's 52 though.... probably the one that was writing a couple of the "Form" letters I received & decided to take a shot herself...... Who knows.... I do like the idea of just hanging out, no pressure, and enjoying each other's company for a couple of weeks.... Has your girl got a sister Martin??? izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/13/2005 6:38:47 PM   indwire Where do you come up with this stuff? I think you need to actually go over there, meet a few women with kids and then make these statements after a bit of face to face experience. As far as age differences are concerned remember these women are not from Idaho or Kansas. They have a totally different point of view regarding this. Age is not as important to them. Now when I see Ed McMahon marrying some 20 year old over here in the states yes I agree something is fishy. In FSU it doesn't work that way. It is not at all unusual to find a woman of 25 pushing a baby carriage with a man of 45 walking with her. My present lady is now 35 I am 50, she was married to a guy who at the moment is 51. He already had a marriage and has a 28 year old son. He now actively proclaims that he is going to marry again and have another child. He can't even support the baby he has with my girl!! I have had girls contact me in their mid twenties and are actively looking for older men and not only guys with big wallets. The reason is that they view an older guy as experienced. Often they were married in their teens and had a baby with a guy about their own age. Then they stayed together for a while realized they married too young and parted friends. I have seen this several times. They then look for a guy who is much older. He is settled and ready for a family and is reliable. It is far too easy to scream scammer whenever something comes up that you are not familiar with. They have a whole different way of thinking. There are different factors at play. The second date I had in Kherson was with a beautiful girl of 31. She was a lawyer. She wanted to marry and have a baby. I told her I didn't want a child and she set about doing a very good natured, fun, selling job on me. Mother nature is at work here. She is 31 and she is considered over the hill in Kherson. There are literally 3 women for every man there. Then you show up (and that is the ONLY way to do this my friend). You are better looking than the average Ukrainian guy, you have a job that actually pays money not a pittance, you have been there for 5 years or more, you have already been married and you know which way is up! Most importantly you actually turned up!! You are there not some nebulous keyboard Romeo. You got on a plane and traveled half way around the Earth to meet ladies. You are a dream come true. The fact that you are American etc is in many ways secondary. You are a man, who is older and therefore considered more experienced and worldly. They want to be a woman not a rival. They want to put their head on your shoulder and have you make the decisions. Have you not seen that comment about "being a man" there around the websites? I hate that expression but it is in many ways true. They want you to be the man. It is expected that on occasion you will put your foot down. They will try to test that aspect of you. The whole thing has an old fashioned flavor. It is the opposite of what you have come to know in the west. The second part of this post is regarding your aspersion that they are all looking for a way out, an escape route, a meal ticket etc. WRONG!! They are not all trying to do that. Yes there are some who are scammers and there are all kinds of grey areas in between. We are not necessarily the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow for them. You must stop thinking this because it is going to ruin any potential relationship you might start on your forthcoming trip (and I do wish you the greatest of good luck). Give them the benefit of the doubt and go with the flow for a while before you make any definite decision. One cannot ignore this aspect but it is neither wrong or the single most important governing factor in their decision to have a relationship with you or not. I was not going to reveal too much about my present relationship as I did with Marina my first one. I feel I have to though. My lady's name is Elena and she is from a city in Ukraine called Kherson. She is very sweet and beautiful. She is very poor but is always beautifully turned out and asks me for nothing. Absolutely nothing. She met me and had no idea that I nearly fell out of my chair as she approached me. She was even more beautiful than in the picture which was very modest. In fact I did not quite put together the profile and the lady I was with until my interpreter straightened me out later. We saw one another for the remainder of my time there and I did not see anyone else after I committed to her. When I told her that I was not going to see anybody else, only her, she ran off crying. She was so happy that I had picked her. She felt her chances of finding a husband were soooo slim you would not believe it. Then I turned up. I am very affectionate to her and try my best to make her feel very involved and important. I give a huge amount of respect and courtesy. I go back to see her in early November and build our relationship more. Don't be surprised if I say that we are now engaged. Elena wants a husband and a father for her little boy. Not money or an escape route from Kherson. She would survive there with or without me. Her parents absolutely adore that little boy and they will want for nothing. The fact that we have a 15 year age difference between us is considered very conservative and normal. Run of the mill. It bothers me more than her I think although I am getting used to it now. I am English and I live in Florida. I am both an American AND British citizen. I love the USA but I am realistic about it. I am definitely not a flag waving zealous patriot. Therefore it is easy for me to listen to any criticism of the USA from FSU women. Trust me they are not all dying to get over here. Far from it in my opinion. In fact while in Kherson I discussed the possibility of moving there with several women, especially Elena. To sum up these wo danny3777 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/13/2005 6:41:42 PM   Mindwire, Like I said, she's one in a million, there's only one of her, only a brother, no sister, sorry. izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/13/2005 6:44:24 PM   To sum up these women are not all trying to run to the good old USA or find some 'older' sugar daddy. It is preposterous. izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/13/2005 6:50:23 PM   I think it also has to be said that the fact of a better life being offered is also in the formula. They are calculating the same as you are. However we men have to be careful about this for a different reason than protecting ourselves. We have to protect them also. Sometimes they are so anxious to have a good marriage at almost any price that they forget about things like homesickness that Vanechka (God forgive me) was harping on about. It is a fact of life and it needs to be addressed, I have already started a conversation with my lady about this. Some women couldn't care less about leaving but others have very strong ties to parents and friends. So yes they get a better material life and the love and comfort of a marriage but there is a price to be paid. It is a two way street. Mindwire Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/13/2005 7:51:46 PM   Izi; You make some good points... As it is understood, I haven't been over there yet and I'm sure my attitude and opinions WILL under-go changes during and after the experience. As I've also stated, I am a bit of a sceptic... with all the garbage you hear about scammers, age difference, etc. in this forum... no two opinions agree... then we've got meatheads like Vanechka trying to totally side-track what this forum is about.... I'm happy for you & Martin, and glad that things are going so well for you guys. You guys have both been a lot of help. I'm finding out; now that I've made the step to book a flight and am making travel arrangements, the whole thing is becoming more real. One minute I'm thinking, "This is going to be great!" A few hours later I'm thinking, "I must be outta my rabbit-ass Mind!" Maybe I'm trying to read too much in between the lines when it comes to these girls (probably so from what I'm hearing). It's hard for me to imagine what an 18 year old girl sees in a 40 y.o. man.... other than what I already know. But I get literally over a hundred letters a Day from women who are 18-25 on different services..... I'm pretty sure I'm not that great of a catch.... Yeah, job, house, material bullshit.... whatever... I'm not a complete asshole, drunk, wife beater, etc.... But it's hard for me to imagine that there are that many women 15-20 (or more) years younger than me who find me that interesting or attractive..... So, being the average American guy (used to dealing with American Women) I start looking for the angle.... izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/13/2005 10:34:25 PM   Mindwire Don't worry about anything. Your financial estimate is way over budget. You will not need that much money and you will see the women are very approachable. They are for the most part looking for a husband. In the bigger cities like Kiev it is going to be a little more hard because the ladies are more sophisticated. Personally I think a more provincial city like Kherson is better. The women have not been spoilt. (see JMO for an explanation on that one). Also it has to be said I think that a woman with a child who is maybe 25 to 35 is much more likely to be seriously looking for a husband not work a con. You are 40 and I would stay away from 18 year olds it is very dodgy. There is a general rule of thumb around the forum that 15 years difference is maximum. There are always exceptions but 15 is my personal max. Unlike Vanechka who was basically saying that it was dispicable to take on a woman with a child I applaud it. My friend Sergey said to me that child will get to experience things that no other kid will get to experience from Ukraine and the woman will love you with all her heart forever. Because of the child if nothing else. I think he is right. It is not dispicable it is beautiful. Everybody wins. You are going to meet straight forward women that want to have a family not date for a bit and see what happens as American women do. NO! They are women in the full sense of the word. Family, their man, taking care of the home, cooking and knowing what to do in the bedroom are their focus. They are women not competitors. It makes a nice change - a traditional woman who looks great and actually loves her husband. What a concept, for God's sake somebody notify Martha Stewart !! QuietCharm Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/14/2005 12:48:59 AM   Aaaarggghhhhh!!!!! A 10-point list!! Mindwire Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/14/2005 2:24:43 AM   Izi; I just returned from seeing one of the women I date here.... The Lying, conniving, manipulative, controlling, little etc... Ok, hell, the AMERICAN kind... It blows my mind how they operate here. There really isn't even a point to it! If all she wanted was money, I could understand that... But she makes my financial profile look like a street bum's compared to hers... It's just a constant head-game with these women here, and their only purpose is to see if they can control or manipulate you in some way... they really don't care which way, because there's no point to any of it. Every stumbling block is an absolute tradgedy, and things that would make the average person say "well, that's nice" is absolute ecstasy.... I swear I'm surrounded by women they just let out of the nut-factory. I'm starting to think that looking for a woman who doesn't speak a lick of english might be the best bet! We could just wink, smile, & wave and leave it at that! Ok, now that I got that off my chest... and everyone's thinkin' "What the F***?" LOL ======== I'm not opposed to women with children, the only down-fall I see is travelling if the father isn't willing to "Ok" it for the child to leave the country. Then it becomes pointless, because I intend to travel quite a bit. I've never been married & don't have kids, so children would be a welcome addition... but I would also like to have my own in addition. I somewhat disagree with your friend Sergey. I wouldn't want a woman staying with me just because of her child. I think that would make them a "Pet" rather than a wife... maybe I'm misunderstanding what you wrote, but that's my initial thought.... I agree with you on the young ones being dodgy... besides, I think I'd feel like a pedophile with a girl of 18 or so. I would like to raise children, but not my wife... if that makes any sense. 25-35 seems much more reasonable.... Kherson & several other cities in Ukraine sound good & I'd like to meet a few women from other areas, but there is the issue of time. Rather than me making the internal flight, what do you think of having her make the flight to meet me in Kiev? (of course I'd have to pick up the cost, but it would make more of my time available) Just a thought.... Straight forward women would be a welcome change! I think I'd make the world spin the other way if I could find just one woman who could tell it the way it is & that doesn't mistake kindness for weakness! I'd like to find someone I could rationally discuss things with, and who has opinions that are based somewhat in reality.... Hell, maybe I'm asking too much! If I find her, she'll find out what it is to be considered, cherished, & treated with the dignity she deserves..... Mindwire Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/14/2005 2:26:26 AM   LOL Quiet! Sorry about that one. :o) izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/14/2005 7:12:16 AM   QC Now what is the matter?? izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/14/2005 7:27:45 AM   Mindwire Yes indeed you did understand Sergeys comment. Last thing in the world he meant was to have a wife as a pet. No. It is to do with the seriousness of the woman. Some of these women are players also. Yesterday I had a Russian ghost slap me in the teeth izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/14/2005 7:50:54 AM   Sorry that was misunderstand :)) Annika77 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/14/2005 8:21:41 AM   Im starting to think too that Izi and Mindwire are right : women who dont speak your language is the best choiceThey are just beautiful, can cook, clean and (hopefully...:)) are good in bed. Family oriented Barbies??? But... Im afraid russian women arent just such kind of material when you know them better. izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/14/2005 8:42:58 AM   Yes Annika that is right. I just need a Barbie doll. That would be great. izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/14/2005 10:24:56 AM   Annika OK I am at work now. So I am going to answer your vicious little post more fully. Just now, not more than 1 minute ago I had an engineer come to my office and tip me the wink about a job opportunity a couple of hundred miles further north in Florida. It would mean a major uproot and change of pace at a time when I need to be very stable for my lady's sake and of course the immigration authorities. Why entertain it? Answer:- Because I need to increase my salary to support a woman and her child. It is my responsibilty, it is my job. Because I am a man. It is my part of the balance. I have to protect and provide. It is as basic as hunting. I have to make a delicate decision and take into consideration many things with the future welfare of my family ALWAYS uppermost in my mind. Again it is my responsibilty. However this is a 2 sided coin. I ALSO expect things in return for providing this umbrella of safety. She needs to be a woman. And yes that means cooking and cleaning and being good in bed. My lady is not Russian she is Ukrainian. AND if those things are not forthcoming I shall consider the union null and void. It will be a very fast marriage and divorce and she will find herself back in Ukraine again damn fast. I shall have a marriage contract and I will use it. We went over this in a previous thread remember? When I said that you reveal the true nature of the FSU woman. I thanked you for educating us, do you recall? Just by posting and opening your mouth you say SO much. We western men are being sized up and decisions are being made. There is a facade of emotion and another marriage is made. I view this a different way. I also have expectations and I WILL have them or there will be no emotions let loose and definitely no marriage. The 'up' side to this is that these things are generally unspoken. It is understood. Except for you 'liberated' types. If I did not think that my present lady friend was up to my expectations I would not be returning to her in November. We need to get to know each other better and grow our relationship but believe me she knows what I expect. Doesn't seem to have a problem with it. She wants to work, is good with money and knows where the kitchen is and what a broom is for. Unlike my previous wife who thought he broom was for riding on! Now in your case I am not sure what is happening. Apparently every 6 weeks for the last 3 years your 'boyfriend' has flown over to see you. Get his rocks off and then flown back again. Hmmmmm one of these things is not like the other !!! What does that make you? Before you start making fun of the basic family roles that are as fundamental as time itself maybe you should take a long hard look at the situation you find yourself in! Don't tell me, let me guess - you have an 'open relationship' and have no need or rush to marry. Yeah right! This attitude is exactly what drives men from the west to seek a traditional bride from FSU. This is American crap and it has permiated into the Baltic states and is creeping further and further into Russia. Ukraine only seems to have that nonsense in Kiev right now. Thank God. Eventually they will all catch up with the west like a disease and the window will close. So the answer to your poisonous litle comment is YES I want a Barbie wife. There does that make you feel better? If she doesn't know how to keep house, look after a child and look good I don't want her I can get that type of leech here. spirittraveller Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/14/2005 12:43:43 PM   I like that Aaaaaaaaaaaaargh! sound,QC. It reminds me of what Charlie Brown says when Lucy pulls the football out when he is just about to kick it! I like your attitude,Izi. It is good never to be too old to reinvent your life. I do not know how old you are Annika,but I like to think that a woman sincerely wants to be pleasing for her man. If he is willing to work hard for her comfort,accomodate her personal interests,and give every worldly thing he owns ( except his fishing gear),it is not too much to expect her to value and appreciate him. I like to think that a woman I will be with knows how to tend a garden,and has done it to supplement the food stocks. Maybe she can preserve foods--of which I am a knowing and willing participant. If she seems like Barbie,but still has these qualities,not only is she un_American--she is a woman who has family comfort ( home coziness) as one of her best attributes spirittraveller Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/14/2005 12:45:47 PM   I also clean,do laundry, wash dishes,and sweep the patio. I admit I am lax about dusting. spirittraveller Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/14/2005 12:47:28 PM   and lastly--she does not necessarily have to be good in bed as long as she has a double jointed neck,and does not mind that I control the head!! ;o) Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > FSU woman and stepchildren
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