Beemer18
I have two ladies one from Kherson staying for the weekend with me, same room, she will pick me up at the airport.
I ask for two beds, and the other -form Nikolaev also staying for 3-4 days with me same room. And two-three days alone.
Thanks for the advise maybe better to go Nikolaev is no too far. I am not lazy, will move like old man, but move.
OM 3 days is plenty of time to figure if there is anything there. If you really like someone you can write when you return back home.
I think on my next visit I will be staying for a few months to learn the language there. Fortunately my new clients are internet based and I can work remotely now.
Beemer - whats your impression of the hot hot girls your meeting? Were their letters pretty sincere or are you running into sociopathic types who you wouldn't trust past a one-nighter?
PS> Oh if you time out? Just hit the <backarrow> then <cut / copy> what you wrote. hit <f5> and then paste it back in with the new code... happens to us long-winded types. ;p
Yorkie,
Is your girl coming from Nikolaev named Liza, if so makes me wonder. What reason did girl give to meeting in Odessa? Insist on going to her city. If things go good, then both of you go to Odessa..... for some reason the
shopping stores are better in Odessa!!!!!
As far as taxi's, shouldn't pay much more than $65 each way. I can tell you who I used and there is a guy that posts here sometimes, he is in Sevastapol, he can arrange apts and taxi's. I have done the girl visit me in another city and both times it crashed and burned, no more for me....I do the traveling now!!!!!
OM,
Sounds like your meetings are cut and dry!!!! What if first girl doesn't want to leave? Do you tell her it is time to go? Hope girl speaks good English. I always wonder why girl doesn't want you to go to her city. Move like the old man you are and go to Nikolaev, if girl doesn't work out, there are plenty of girls, even on this site from Nikolaev.
Apal,
I will finish my observations of my trip soon. I don't look at my girls as hot, hot. Just attractive with beautiful eyes. Like everyone else here, girl hardly ever looks as good as pics, close sometimes. Figure is usually pretty close. I am glad I don't run into same girls as you. We must be looking at different types and my letters I KNOW are different than yours( for some reason financial topics come up in yours), I just try to get to know personality..likes and dislikes. Every girl I met was real, sincere and genuine. Just happens when you meet, there IS or ISN"T something going off. I did meet one girl where everything went right( see an early post here).
Another I really liked didn't meet with. I was 1 for 2 on anastasia's girls. A friend of mine was 3 for 4 in meeting Anastacia's girls. PS---I did do that, just the puters there aren't the best, cut and paste in Russian????
Beemer18
I think you are right the lady from Kherson does not mind me going with her to Kherson she will come to Odessa to pick me up to the Airport and then we can go anywhere.
I think I will go to Nikolaev, the one for Nikolaev is a bit tricky, in fact she seems to avoid the shame to meet a man and be left lone. well I better go to Nikolaev. I got the name of a a lady to take care of the taxi and hotels thanks you can send me the one you use, I will appreciate in case I can not get the other.
My ladies both have the same name Olga.
I guess if one keep the Olga, Yulia, Elena, Maria, has 25% of all the names cover.
Kherson seems to be far from Odessa but Nikolaev is not too far. I guess I will meet Olga at the airport and stay in Odessa and then go to Nikolaev for 4 days. Shoul I meet Olga Two days, and try to meet other ladies in case does not go right.
I know everybody says you should have more than one lady lined up before you go for a back up plan.
I never ever dated more than one girl at a time in the States if she did not work out you start over. For me it would be very difficult to go to the FSU to see multiple ladies not to mention the difficulty in conveying true feelings in correspondence with multiple ladies. It seems to me that if you tell the ladies that you are meeting others it would be more of a casual meeting than a serious one.
The first time I went I spent a very beautiful week with the lady I had corresponded with. Her body language said she was as intrigued as I was. A week was too short.
The second time because of miss communication on our desires and length of time between visits our relationship had cooled. When I boarded the plane I knew the chances were good our relationship would end on this visit which it did. I met another lady there but she was called out of town with her work. Yeah Right!!! So I have some friends in Kharkov and bus fare is not expensive. The first evening I got many hugs and a warm reception. Here are a few photos http://www.discover-ua.com.ua/content/view/158/45/. While there I of course saw the sights, spent a day with a young family learning English and learned much from them as well as gaining friends, and met another lady that I spent each evening walking and usually a stop at the coffee shop with. She got off of work at 7 and we went from there. After I was home though communication did not last long with her.
The third time I spent with another lady and her daughter but our personalities did not match. She had kind of a self centered personality indicated by her telling me I did not need to register my visa in Russia and refusing to help until I told her I was registering and she and her daughter would have to go alone the next day and of course I was the check book, she tried to take from the store without paying for an item which I had to take away from her and give to the cashier, several times she went into stores once for makeup and once for daughters shoes and when items on the counter turned to me and said give me the money, and a few other personality traits that I knew would not fit into my life.
The lady I write to now her real photos are even much warmer and attractive than the ones on her profile. Will it work -- Who knows.
You have gone with the intentions of meeting multiple ladies. Do you think this could be detrimental to success. Could it be like shooting at a flock instead of focusing on one. Of course no matter what your plan if you end up alone it can end up a cold place whether in the USA or Ukraine.
i kinda like the way you put it oz and i think you are right, the minute you mention meeting another you seem to need to work harder for that respect honesty thing.
i did meet many on trip and was almost very honest about it all to each before hand, meaning i had my favourite and i told her that.
what do you say to others- "you are my back up plans". not a good look
i must admit the trip was purely for learning purposes but to do such multiple meetings was not a good idea for her or their inner feelings.
or mine at times.
i have decided now to concentrate on one and making sure of been able to put other plans into place if needed when I'm there.
i wouldn't travel there for less then six weeks so this is easy for me.
its a hard one been honest i reckon it puts you two steps back.
but i still would tell them all what i am doing.
but that's me.
it was interesting for how i saw them through the letters and how i thought i would feel about them, it was very close to been right, my favourite was bang on and the next also.
there was one i was so wrong about, and I'm not saying she was wrong for me, i just had difficulty figuring her out, language barrier was to uncomfortable for me, it created a wall they can hide behind.
shooting at flocks seems feasible but i do question it why i missed when there was so many.
yeah we are talking about ducks.
Om....to go to Kherson, you do go toward Nikolaev, only you take a right. It is about 40 minutes farther than Nikolaev
from Odessa, of course, traffic in and out of Odessa can be brutal!!!
OZ...I try NOT to date the same as in states. You don't casually meet girls and ask them out next week!!!! Much more planning is involved along with timing. I been here awhile and have read many posts from many guys, for ME, I need to see more than one women on first meetings. You just have no idea what will happen. If stars and fireworks go off great
I will have time to see her again, probably on same trip. My aim is to spend a week with a girl but have yet to have it happen that way. I have trouble focusing on one girl and who knows when you meet how serious she will truely be. I figure for a $4000 trip I need to find the right girl and if it takes seeing several so be it. Come on OZ....true feelings on first trip in first week, ever heard of infatuation. When first meeting girl it is all about getting to know her, finding out if she is same as letters. True feeling come at a later time when you can think clearly. I know there are guys here that have met their girl on one trip, good for them but I cannot do that. I need time to see if we are a match and first meeting is just an introduction. I feel it is VERY important to meet in person with girl, that will tell all. The look on girl will let you know what she is thinking.
As far as meeting several girls, I do not tell girls I am meeting other girls and they never ask. I merely state i am going to visit your city, lets meet, maybe you can show me around. I think everyone in process knows what is going on. Since I do know friends there I can also state i will visit friends also. Most times girls want to meet and after first meeting we can decide whether to meet again. A positive note on meeting mulitiple girls is you can cross them off your list if you don't match and not have to wonder what girl is like. Also, some girls like to shop, if girl you meet is like that you can drop her and move on. My friend in Odessa was bouncing off two girls alternating days, now I wouldn't want to do that. Multiple girls in one city is rather difficult. I try to have only one girl in each city that I truely want to meet, others are a step below but what happened on my trip, the step below girl was 180 degrees from what I thought she was. I was sorry i spend only one day with her. I do focus on one girl...the one in front of me!!!!! Not every girl will be able to see you every day, some work, maybe school. I don't ever come away from my trip as me ending up alone, I don't focus only on girls, I try to see the sights, have fun, see behaviors, understand culture and language...I guess try to fit in....I may one day be living there...who knows????
Kiwi...what is that saying about putting all your eggs in one basket???
WHY do you mention to girl you have multiple meetings???? Does girl tell you what she has planned and with who???
6 weeks.......one girl.....maybe wrong for you........good luck!!!!! Do I hear the word' scrammble!!!!!!!!!
"multiple meetings was not a good idea for her or their inner feelings"
What about your feelings???? After she dumps you,after you wouldn't buy her the clothes or cell phone. Please try to be a 'little' selfish. Remember, YOU can be going half way around the world to see her!!!!
During my last trip to Kharkov in August I dated about 8 girls in 12 days. It was my fishing trip I posted about a few months ago. Out of my 8 fish I met three that I really liked and would like to meet again. From those three I chose one to meet in Kiev this mid November. We will spend 5 days together. The Kiev meeting point was my idea. Easier for me to travel too and I want to get her away from all distractions of work, friends, and family. I want her to be one on one with me. Plus we get to live together in the same apartment. This will answer all compatability questions. So, my approach is go and meet several ladies during my trip to any given city. From that trip I hope to find one that I will be willing to invest all my time and money into. Like Beem points out these trips are $4000 a pop and to risk it all on one girl seems like a bad bet to me.
Deano,
You make it sound like it's oh so easy, nothing personal but I've been there and done that, but you might prepare yourself for the bumpy road that has better than 50/50 odds of being up ahead.
I agree beemer that a week is not enough time to completely know each other but after writing and talking on the phone for almost a year 8 solid days together made her visit to the USA for 90 days an attractive option for me. If it did not work she could return to Ukraine. Not realizing at that time that a womans perception of a relationship does not elevate with written and telephone communication like a mans does.
Of course there can be disappointments in both multiple meetings and single meetings. There can also be success in both. I will probably stay with single meetings. Others will use multiple and others will use the tour system.
I do like Deano's approach if you are able to return in 3 or 4 months. The ladies know the perimeters, they can schedule around work with minimal inconvenience, it is semi casual and then gives the one you choose time to schedule time off if she also chooses you are worth it.
I do not feel a couple weeks will give you enough time to meet several ladies and then pick one and solidly establish a relationship with the one you choose. And I definitely question this statement as being productive "As far as meeting several girls, I do not tell girls I am meeting other girls and they never ask. I merely state i am going to visit your city, lets meet, maybe you can show me around. I think everyone in process knows what is going on." If everyone involved knows what is going on anyway why not be honest with them. If you are not they will think the worst. If you are even if it is the worst you had the respect to treat them honostly.
if my meeting fails i will have other phone numbers.
also i believe it should not be a problem organising a few more meetings while there if needed.
with the time i have, sure it means days of doing bugger all sorting things out when there, i don't mind.
i also travel as part tourist, i am very interested in Russia in other avenues, so i am combining the trip with other things.
i may travel there for women but not totally.
my next trip will be based on one person and more one region this time, i will swing from this, this doesn't mean i will have no plans in place for others if needed.
it just means i am not continually writing to others before hand.
i will have my share of phone numbers in place i will organise closer to travel time.
i have been through a lot of mail (my god time involved) and none have given me the pleasure like this person has by far, so i am thinking of doing this trip a little different.
this may change, time will tell but it has been many months writing to her and there is some months ahead before...
i have come to this decision because she is in a small region in Russia.
this person is a interpreter for an agency in this region for letters, no this is not the interpreter i have mentioned in passed.
I've just got to be a little careful, i do not know how much freedom she has over other communications, and i do like her.
i will organise other contacts when time is near in other areas before i travel just in case.
why i mentioned multiple meetings, why not" they know this is the norm for western men, they are not that naive, it just a date.
i cannot be bothered with little secrets.
as in girl telling, yes Beemer they will never tell ya what's truely up, women are women and most like their little jewellery box of secrets, i except this they can have their moment.
it doesn't change why I'm there and what i look for in them.
i am yet to have a shopper, touch wood.
what i meant by my feelings, was the drama of juggling different women in same city's, they wanted maximum time with me which always clashed with other, frekun nightmare when you like both company's.
have to give it to you Deano, 8 girls 12 days, are you ex army drill Sargent:)).
i do like how you have set yourself up. awesome
I like a combination of what all of you wrote actually. Focus on one main girl during writing (aka "Favorite girl") and write one or two more ("just in case") who ARE in the same city. If I do the fishbowl tourist scene, I may end up unfocused like poor Beamer.
Thanks Apal....I'm happy, confused and unfocused!!!!! But you won't find me in the position you were in, in Odessa!!! Better than being bitter, angry and unhappy!!!!!
Let me spell it out better, I do go to see multiple girls, in fact I do tell many I will be there at a certain time. My favorite I try to see first, if things go well, I mean everything is right, I can and will drop all other girls,
it just hasn't happened that way. Some girls I meet, not sure how it will end up, but all have something that interests me and hope I have something that interests them.
Not sure what you meant by 50/50 Martin. 50/50 it will be a failed trip? A failed future relationship? I'll take those odds! That's about the divorce rate for the whole world anyway. Thanks for the advice but no need to prepare. I've been there done that too. I have arranged this second meeting 5 other times. One I wanted to marry but I didn't win her. Three I had a wonderful and romantic time with. But I did not want to take it further myself. One turned out to be a bitch and was after anything she could get out of me. She lasted 24 hours before I kicked her out of the apartment and sent her home on the bus. You should have saw the look on her face. Lol! Score one for the boys! So, don't worry about me guys I know what I'm doing. I'll keep you posted on how it all turns out.
Always have backup. You dont have to meet all. Its no great inconvenience to them if you say sorry I cant meet its a 15min bus drive they wont make! For you its a many thousands of kilometers journey. I have been stood up a number of times and was always thankful for te backup!
Beemer - Yup. I wish someone had this topic up when I went to Odessa. I was not at all prepared for the WHAT IF GIRL YOU ARE WRITING AND NOW FINALLY MEETING IS ACTUALLY A COMPLETE SOCIOPATH AND PATHOLOGICAL, LYING GOLD-DIGGER possibility. ;0
I did what Deano did when I went to Colombia - met about 20 girls and got to pick and chose - and also went out of the agency circuit all together and went native. ;p That was fun!
If its all about attraction - and chemistry upon meetings, then one can only use letters to eliminate potentials you'd probably be spending money on meeting when you finally do visit. ;0
One can see the value of chemistry up close and personal only in a meeting.
So Beemer, what percentage of girls you are seeing up close actually DO look like their photos? ;p
Deano, what a funny story u told us abt the girl "u kicked out of the apartment and sent her home on the bus". it made me burst into laughter! great!
i m a russian girl and came across this forum by chance-had been looking for some info (not related to foreigners and russian brides), and suddenly saw the stormy discussion of russian and ukrainian girls. very interesting.moreover, i ve never been looking for foreign boyfriends (though i had 2).
i would like to say meeting a few girls at the same time (i mean during one trip) and havinf a back-up is better than dating only one and then dont know what to do when the girl is not the girl u expected she would be.
and of course we, girls, know that if the foreigner is coming with the purpose to find a russian girlfriend he intends to meet a few at the same time, so nothing offencive. but sure it s better when the girls r from different cities.
by the way, will anybody answer my question - why do u want to marry russians (ukrainians)? why not the girls from yr countries?:))) just curiosity:)
That is a good question nobodyknows. For myself I was married for 20 years. I thought we had a good marriage and we raise 4 boys and then one day she told me I was not giving her the life she deserved and left of course with a significant portion of our property. The women I have met here have a similar story about their husbands. And if they are like my x-wife and I am like their x-husband there is not much future in pursuing a serious relationship and so at this point I have not found a partner here. The family structure in the FSU seems to be more important to the women there than here. And the ladies that I have met there have been very warm and caring. I do not know where I will find my future partner there, here, or somewhere else. But I want to find one for life wherever she is.
thanks for yr reply, land of oz.
were u married to a russian woman for 20 yrs? i believe she is not from the fsu.
the family was sort of priority abt 15 yrs ago, but now the situation is changing and the women follow the european principles in the lives ( career goes first+ money, and only then family; of course if the husband is well-to-do, then family is more important). our ladies r caring and warm to their husbands (can cook and do the washing, run abt the house), but not sincere with foreigners...i do feel sorry for those guys who wrote here how they had been treated by the russians (ukranians)-cheated, scammed... and i heard abt the same incidents when i visited canada-my russian friends-immigrants- told me abt girls who had married canadians , left ukraine for canada, got residence and then dumped their husbands. thats why i came to the conclusion - maybe it s better to find russian women among immigrants in yr countries, those women already settled down, and sincere in their feelings:)dont need green-card or smth the like, too many immigrants from ukraine and russia r in the us and canada.