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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > travel to crimea, ukraine advise Author Post Rag'n'Bull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/19/2009 1:11:35 PM   Let us continue with the holier than thou. When ragingbull criticizes me he is right, always right, but should I criticize another then, according to our holiness, I am patronizing and bringing (my) rule to the forum. People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones!!! durak Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/19/2009 1:13:50 PM   Hey guys - and especially rb, my friend - When I try to understand and learn from life situations, in order to (hopefully) make better decisions ... I find it useful to think in terms of how something works for me. Some things work better for me, others not so well. On the other hand, I generally don't find it useful to think about relations in terms of good/bad, right/wrong (in the moral sense), victim/perpetrator, or any other framework related to blame. I can sometimes get an emotional satisfaction by deciding who is the "bad guy," but it won't help me to do better the next time. [One caveat about the moral thing - I must be honest with myself about my OWN actions, and whether I am following my own moral code.] To give a concrete example, I had a situation last year with a Ukrainian woman that hurt me very deeply. I'm getting over it, but the pain still flares up sometimes. As it happens, this was not about money. I want to say, "the way she treated me was wrong!" From her point of view, she was absolutely proper and justified in what she did, acted with the best of intentions, and lots of people would agree with her. Other people who know the situation think that what she did really sucked. But does blaming her, help me? She is who she is, she did what she did, that's just how she rolls, y'know? I couldn't do anything about that, even if I wanted to. The only person I can correct is myself. I can look at last year, and say, "if the situation had been reversed, I don't think I would treat another person the way she did. And I am sure I deserved better." To be practical, I can pay better attention to how women treat people (I saw plenty of evidence in her conduct toward other people - I absolutely had warning!) In the future, if I meet someone who shows such a capacity for coldness, I will (I hope!) say to myself, "not for you, buddy, keep looking." And I will remind myself that I am a really good man (not so attractive, but genuinely good), and that I do myself wrong when I tolerate people treating me as though I were of little worth. Ignoring the dark side of this woman, and accepting demeaning behavior from her and others ... these are MY faults. Those gals are just being who they are. I can still learn, and I can hope to do better. End of sermon :/ ragingbull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/19/2009 1:31:20 PM   Thanks, Durak. That was my mistake with the woman from Zaporozhye. She was lying to her teeth to other people. She told me her lies. It should have occured to me that she is also capable of lying to me. Martin, if I was wrong in accusing you of patronizing, then I will admit it. Tell me everything I did wrong, we can itemize and I will admit them. You, my friend will never admit you are wrong. ragingbull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/19/2009 1:57:22 PM   By the way, durak, all I'm trying to do here is to keep these two from blaming and ridiculing people from coming here to tell their story. There are others, but I am not going to name them right now. Of course I made mistakes. Others should be able to come here and tell their mistakes. As you can see, there is stiff opposition. Rag'n'Bull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/19/2009 2:29:58 PM   ragingbull, Please refraining from alikening me to nasfan, he and I have had enough, more than enough, of our disagreements with each other in the past and just because there is a 'cease fire' in place, and holding, between us doesn't make us alike each other and most certainly not, neccessarily, in agreement with each other and, obviously, it only suits you to aliken us to each other because the only thing we have in common with each other is that you are disagreeing with both of us. I have made mistakes here in the past, a mild example of this was when nasfan referred to a Crimean airport of Sevastopol. Whilst he had meant to say Simferopol I criticized him saying that there isn't an airport at Sevastopol, I was wrong, Sevastopol does have an airport and it's a working airport. I'm not saying, nor suggesting, that you have done 'everything' wrong, am I flaming you over being the victim of a scam? No I'm not but you're seeing things with such blinkered vision you're attacking people, me, for things that they/I haven't done. And P.S. I ain't your friend so why refer to me as such? Kirkland Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/19/2009 3:22:53 PM   Nice post Durak. Many folks can be hurt by the actions of others whether intended or not. I try to avoid placing myself in the path of these types of people now. Look for the signs early on...do a bit of people watching first. I'm more interested in my how I reacted in previous relationships...especially the ones that were painful for me. The biggest question I always ask myself is why I stayed in a miserable relationship for so long when leaving it behind would have served me better. RB don't worry about the attention to detail shown by the bickerers to your grammer. Sometimes here it's like a contest to see who has the mightier pen. Them what done the grammer and got learned english at school sometimes like to show off. ragingbull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/19/2009 5:40:34 PM   Did I blame anyone for the scam other than who scammed me? I admitted my mistake. Why do you think the person who has a problem in this thread did not want to discuss his problem on the forum? Look at your first post here and find out. You didn't patronize him? You didn't make him feel bad because he was afraid for his safety? You and Nasfan are in on this one and others. I must put this date on my calendar. You admitted you were wrong. nasfan6 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/19/2009 6:17:33 PM   RB are you drunk or what? What am I in on? Being afraid for one's safety is significantly different than turning over money to a stranger and crying scam. You cited in a previous post the three steps to your scam and it all included money to a woman you hardly knew. Then you made a remark that I had to have sent money to my wife for her visa and airfare. Which I didn't. The holier than thou came from Devilmaycare when he claimed Western Morals were evidently more virtuous and naive' than someone in Ukraine or anywhere in the FSU. Based on what? Fools that want to send money to perfect strangers, expecting to get more in return than what they are entitled to because of the money. Now that's the perfect example of attempting to buy a wife. Bleeding hearts need not apply. Find a support group, this is about the do's and don'ts of finding a woman in the FSU. Not therapy for stupidity. I am hard pressed to believe what some guys do and what their motivation is. Though I have my thoughts on this. Martin made a smart remark about Americans being afraid to travel.Though you don't have a problem giving him a hammering. We'll maybe some are I'm not one of them. Though do I prepare myself when I go to a foreign country? Yes I do. Common sense dictates your actions in Ukraine. You wouldn't hand over a grand to someone you just met a week ago in the states, why in the hell would you do it in Ukraine? I'm still waiting for that answer. Rag'n'Bull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/19/2009 6:21:15 PM   Grow up ragingbull, If, and that is a very big 'IF', nasfan were in on this one, or any others, then why am I not critizing you over being scammed or whatever he may be saying to you, I haven't been particularly reading it because I've got better things to do. nasfan is, and has been for a long time, on and off, engaging one on one with the forum retard regarding the retard's cr@p that he utters, whether it is wise or not for nasfan to do so is something that I shall abstain from passing judgement regarding although I do have sympathies in favour of nasfan on that one, one thing he and I do have in common is that the retard has called both our wives bought women and/or whores and/or prostitutes. Only since a recent attack on me have I taken action against the retarded one and aside from addressing the retard, directly, in one solitary PM of 08 August I have not engaged in conversation with him since many months previously to 08 August nor indeed since. So please, oh please, ragingbull please explain and provide any evidence of yet your further false allegation against me that nasfan and I are in on this one, what one? And others, what others? Your most recent attacks on me are nothing to do with nasfan, you claimed the subject of this thread didn't post because he didn't want to be patronized, how the phuck do you know or decide upon that ragingbull because it's certainly not made mention of in Olga's original post or do you fellow Mexicans have psychic powers or similar? A tip for you ragingbull, were you to take your blinkers off you'd be able to see past the end of your nose. Now grow up! ragingbull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/19/2009 6:26:37 PM   That smart remark fom martin keeps people from posting their experiences. It is the same about people getting scammed. No. My limit is one beer these days. Not everyone has your common sense. Everywhere there are smart guys and dumb guys. All I am trying to do here is to hear the dumb guys. You might count me as one of them. So be it. Why can't this be therapy for the stupid ones, as you call them? Did you just make this rule? Case in point. You are the same as Martin. ragingbull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/19/2009 6:34:40 PM   I am not going into threads to look anything up. The evidence is on this thread on what you both are capable of. Rag'n'Bull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/19/2009 6:34:42 PM   As this has been a notable day, according to the raging bull, when I admitted I had been wrong then let it be a notable day also for me agreeing with nasfan on something, that the raging bull must be drunk, if not drunk then on drugs, he's totally lost the plot! nasfan6 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/19/2009 6:45:41 PM   Tablets of Stone Be very honest, open, optimistic and realistic about who and what you want in a relationship. Be able to be a leader of a family. Be a Man! Be open on "sexual" issues. Be sure you can financially afford to embark upon this process. Be prepared to make a trip. Don't fall in love with a photograph. Verify you are writing to a real woman who is genuinely interested in you. Make sure there are true feelings, chemistry and love between you. If the lady will not give you full contact details, move on. Never send money to someone you've never met. Follow your instincts, particularly when you see Red Flags. Know when to hold and know when to fold. Always have a back up plan. There are many others to add to this. You're marrying the woman not her family. Caution on sending money even if you have met. If they ask for money after you have met, you can bet it's a scam. Honest ladys won't. They were having difficult times before you were there. nasfan6 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/19/2009 6:46:56 PM   Also if you are afraid to post on a forum because you might get flamed, tells me you just might be too timid for the FSU. ragingbull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/19/2009 6:49:28 PM   "Also if you are afraid to post on a forum because you might get flamed, tells me you just might be too timid for the FSU." Wrong. This is not necesary. ragingbull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/19/2009 7:01:48 PM   Get flamed and not get an answer to your problems. Is that your rule, Nasfan? Rag'n'Bull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/19/2009 7:30:55 PM   the raging bull, There is a famous saying ..... "I/we do not have problems, I/we only have solutions". Are you not mature and wise enough to figure out your own solutions or are you coming here for therapy or sympathy or both? Rag'n'Bull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/19/2009 8:08:48 PM   nasfan, It took me a while to get there, I've been busy and occupying my mind on other matters, but I've figured it out. the raging bull, allbeit only in his spaced out mind, has figured that you also work for 'that' same employer that he previously suggested that I work for hence his accusation that we are in cahoots with each other over this and other matters. Oh well, all in the day in the course of the forum, I'll wake up tomorrow and he'll be accusing me of being the first man on the moon, I haven't figured out how I'm going to waffle my way out of that one yet, I guess I'll have to sleep on it! ragingbull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/19/2009 11:03:46 PM   I am not here for therapy or sympathy. I did not tell my story for therapy or sympathy. I have already told it. I long have gotten over it before I even found this forum. I told it to show others that they can tell their story. You don't have a solution. You are the problem. Rag'n'Bull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/20/2009 3:29:28 AM   Well then that makes me a more profound person than the raging bull, whilst he may be a mild irritant my solution is to rise above his irritating taunts, to try to help him see that he is talking nonsense, I cannot think of any problem that I have in my life at this time and if I did/do have a problem then I would endeavour to find a solution to that problem and without involving others. Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > travel to crimea, ukraine advise
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