I have second thoughts.. I find myself saying what am I doing, am I nuts?? I question myself alot. When I step foot aboard that aircraft its almost going to be like taking a leap of faith. My mind has been really off in thought lately, and.... I don't know.. I feel if I don't go not only will I break her heart, but I might pass up possibly the best thing thats ever happened to me. Its so far from home..
you also never been there I suppose. 19 hrs, yeah, that's a lifetime, I agree.
Ever been abroad - and I don't mean across the border, I mean abroad - like in overseas? Probably not, but I'm just guessing.
Other part of the world, old or ancient culture alien to you, a language incomprehensible, and you'll be totally dependant on others if only for communication. Oh yeah, paying with greenbacks hence attracting maybe the wrong attention, I mean there's so many funny stories doing the rounds.
And you're going to see this bird you've only communicated with, quite something different than necking in the drive-in.
Second thoughts - try Thirds.
What can you loose Crash? Shall I spell it for you? 2 things only - some money and maybe a nice girl.
What you can gain I dunno, but for starters an eyeopener maybe? A super time in another part of the world, meeting total strangers and maybe a fantastic girl, loads of experience and, not in the least, some experience in tackling new things hence being less nervous any next time when you'd do a similar thing.
'Cause that's what you are, you're having stage-fright. Suffer ma China, happens to the best of them ;-))
And good luck...
Scott. "Regret the things you do, not the things you don't."
Is the way I lead my life mate, I have a few regrets (a lot actually !!) but I also have some awesome memories and have done things many men only fantasise about, all in all the pleasures far outweigh the regrets ;o))
Here here TD :o)
And that goes to everyone about to, or soon to, go to the FSU, good luck and don't come back single :o))
Good point, TD. Try approaching this from "The Glass is half full" rather than the "The glass is half empty".
Sorry I'm stuck on euphemisms, but another way to look at this is do you wish to survive or prevail? (taking a queue from G. Gordon Liddy). To narrow it down, to survive is merely to exist. To prevail is to live.
Thanks alot TD, your rite about everything. Ive been out of the country but never overseas or so far away, plus the fact I'm going alone. Maybe if I was able to understand what they say it would be a little easier. Then no one here where I live accepts what I'm doing which doesn't make it any easier on me. But I have to be honest with myself and I know if I don't go through with this it will be something that can and most likely will bother me for the rest of my life. Then there is the fact that I have developed feelings for my girl, and her for me. You guys that have been doing this for a while like me know what I'm talking about. So, I am going, its just going to be playing havoc with my mind for these final weeks. I'm going to be analysing the pros and cons from every angle. But one thing I am sure about, and that is how much I want to be with her.....enough to make that leap of faith...
I am afraid to go but I will for the right lady.
Why am I affraid?
1-I hate flying and could not imagine it for 19 hours.
2-what if she never shows up to meet me?
3-I know very little russian and probally sound like a drunk retard.
4-I am only 5'7 tall 130 lbs soaking wet.
5-A good size russian woman could probally kick my ass and take my cash.lol
I would still go but maybe I should look into getting a body gaurd
because most russian men have fist the size of my head but what the hell its all for love- lol :)
Crash, your gonna do just fine over there. You'll get through anything that arises, because you'll have to, you'll see. If your girl can survive there then you can too. I wish I were in your shoes. And you'd be surprized how easy it is to forget about home. .........Don't worry about what people think or say, where you live......they probably think the local women are nice too, ....what does that tell you!
No matter what happens, this experiece will have a positive effect on you.
Thanks Man, believe it ir not all your comments help, especially now that its getting close. And your rite. They all think I can find someone here. What I tell myself is, how many times am I going to try? I'm never going to find someone that doesn't exist here. I refuse to wait until I am too old. This is something I have to do now.
LoL Mike. I'll answer you.
1.For those 19 hours I will truly realise how far away from home I am.
2.I know her agency and moreso, I know her. I have no doubt she will be there.
3. I know virtually no Russian and she knows a little bit of English-we will have a translator. An electronic translator for when we are alone.
4.I am 6'1" 187lbs. I'm 36 shes 26- no problems there..
5.Just not knowing what to expect when I get there. I grew up in NYC so I know how to fight and defend myself. But I am not in my own country so I have to not be stupid and get myself in trouble.
The voices in my head got me awake at 6am this morning (no, I haven't wet the bed) and my visa application is the first letter in the postbox. Making decisions is not a problem. It was because of making decisions (an unusual misjudged one last year) that I am being extra careful this time - that and other issues and hand. I also have one regret that I am trying to make amends for presently but likely to no avail and that is in conflict with all of this and doing this worsens that in turn doing that worsens this, so it isn't straight forward - it either happens or it doesn't. I gave her a surprise call last night and tried to express (without detail) my concerns & feelings whilst coaxing out of her the same. The distance between us is a *bugger* when your emotional strings are being pulled and rather than hide it, I showed her. I was looking for particular things to be said before continuing with what is the first step to commitment (a daunting prospect for some) - in any event, today the visa has been posted and very different from yesterday.
kick my ass? lol
if only you knew, if only you knew. ;)
Since yesterday, I have lost 1/4 stone! where's it gone? not that I am complaining.
I must have been about 12 1/2 stone at Christmas, now 10 3/4 which is about spot-on for me.
Tim, think you misunderstood scottif, I took what her said differently to you. If you do have regret, better to be for something you have doon, not backed away from, all good as I read it.
Now, I have a simial situation, I have correponded with 3 girls and every one is ace. Thats the big problem. 1 I know I want to see but maybe it will not work out but they are from differnet places. I am finding it difficult to reject any of them I maybe, as I always do, I will make a poor decission. 2 of them are not so far apart so it is possible but maybe I will go to see the first one and not want to see the next one but will have already made arrangements. This suck, rubbish over here and spoiled for choice over ther with liitle time to meet them all. Should I burn 1, I hate to break her heart as they all seem so keen. Anyone got a good formular to use for narrowing the field and a good lie to let them down gently, but I know I will regret not meeting them and I will be the second half of scotts analogy
One way or another at LEAST 2 hearts have to be broken and I say it's better to do that sooner rather than later. Do it wrong and you break 4 hearts (including your own).
If you know you will make a poor decision, go with the one you'd reject first ;)
Rejection Formulae: I cannot believe that all 3 make you feel the same with a seemingly impossible decision to make and it seems like the kid in a candy store analogy again. As tasty as that may seem, we all (I suspect) want just one partner, so when you find her - it will be blindingly obvious despite the fact that she may have attractive friends, or there are other sexy ladies around - it will be her and only her that you want. How can you give any of them the true you, when you're split 33%?
Do they know about each other?
Rather than lie, if you cannot make a decision until meeting them all, I think the best thing (morally) to do would let them know that you're open minded and consderigin all your other options. If they don't know and you're effectively leading them all on indepedantly, then you'll likely end up in a mess . :)
true dma, there is 1 more special to me now, and she is starting to write to me 4 times a week. Ive talked to her on the phone and it went very well but I, as we all do I think, fear that spark will maybe die at our first meeting, it happened to me once before and sent me into the arms of my now x wife. Decision decisions. Maybe we should list all the girls we let go but still wish them happiness for newcomers, at leats I know these two are not scammers. Sort of like what we were talking about before dma. I may not read it but someone may listen. Oh no, i'm startint to agree with you
If you know that one is more special, she's writing so often, you're talking too and getting along. What are you doing thinking about another 2?
Sure the spark may die, I don't fear it. I fear and more likely expect the reverse. LOL
The latter, the spark igniting (properly) and blasting away to me is a much more scarier prospect than meeting, 'enjoying' yourself and parting on good terms as not being any future in it. Leave me alone for more than a minute with your daughter and I'll take her heart forever or leave her stir-crazy.
And for the first meeting, if I even considered it would die so quickly or had a good chance, why would I be contemplating 10 to 14 days visit? That would be a disaster (and yes, it could happen) but somehow (charming cutie pie) I instictively know (and that worries me) that it will be a success. Probably why I am already putting so much effort into my learning and contemplating subsequent decisions as being viable.