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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > FSU woman and stepchildren Author Post danny3777 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/14/2005 1:06:20 PM   Izi, Just my personal opinion and speaking from my personal situation at this time, if you truly love someone then you should be able to find it in yourself to be adaptable, forgive any little faults, after all, love conquers all .... as they say. The way that you have spoken it seems that you are entering into a contractual agreement, not a marriage, and should she not maintain your expectations in bed, overcook the steak a little, or miss some specks of dust on the carpet, then divorce will be just around the corner. I do hear what you're saying about responsible support though, I've recently changed jobs and I'm working like a dog at the moment on a commission related salary, I'm doing this for 'us' and not just for me. But I love her with all my heart and I'm not going to divorce her if she neglects to iron my clothes as I would like and she's not going to divorce me should I drop some cigarette ash on the carpet, love is more important, more powerful, than such trivialities. Annika77 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/14/2005 1:24:40 PM   Women missison in life is to please man :):):) Dreams, dreams....Men never grow up:):) danny3777 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/14/2005 1:40:49 PM   Annika, I do not disrespect all women as being the same, why do you insist on disrespecting ALL men as being the same? Annika77 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/14/2005 1:45:12 PM   What about Izis girlfriend so she seems to me more lazy Barbie than family oriented Barbie, she dont work, she is supported by pensioneer parents, she dont speak english and dont know how to use computer and poor Izi must work as hell! Actually Izi ...its Im flying to visite my boyfriend, we choosed house together and decorated it together. What about marriage, we dont need peace of paper to prove we love each other and we are loyal to each other! Annika77 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/14/2005 1:46:18 PM   Sorry Martin your post was very nice. Just they say men dont grow up only their toys will be more excpensive..I heard it in UK by the way izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/14/2005 3:39:18 PM   Spirit You get it. Martin You don't. Marriage IS contractual! That is exactly what it is. Each brings things to the table and you try to work out an agreement. Then you sign the agreement with a contract. That is called the marriage license. It is binding as is the contract. What I have done is break this down into its base components, incomplete, unpleasant but true. Martin you are from England so don't tell me you have not met your fair share of Indians there sporting turbans, a couple of kids and an arranged marriage!! I am sure you have. I know I did. They were all happy too! I myself had an arranged marriage. It didn’t work because I was with an American woman (albeit originally from Cuba but still American). I gave, she took and all was well until I questioned that. Now having laid out my basic attitude I will also say that this contract like so many others in life is colored with emotion. This mysterious thing we call love. However love can grow and it takes different forms. The first flush of love is just romantic fluff brought about by the fact that 2 people find each other attractive physically and if they get lucky on other levels also. As time goes by that changes to a much deeper caring love that is hard to put into words. Sometimes the first stage can be bypassed and the second grows exactly the same as if the first was in place. That happened to me!! Now I find myself in a new situation with overtones of the past. Should I lie to make myself sound sweet to the forum? Nope won't do it. Sooner or later the decision has to be made. Will I marry this woman or not? How long should I wait to make this decision? 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years, 10 years? No - I don't have that long and neither does she. So we look at what each other is offering, make a decision and act on it. Then it is up to both of us to try our hardest to make it work. I have briefly stated what I am looking for in response to Annika's barb. Apparently my forthrightness has struck a nerve. I do not know why. My attitude is the way marriage has been for eons and still to this day is the way of things in many countries and cultures. I am surrounded by Indians, Pakistanis, Iranians and Iraqis that have arranged marriages. Often one of them says see you later as he goes off to get his bride from wherever. I see this as the same process. I think it is possible with this though to become really lucky. I think it is possible to end up with everything on account of actually daring to try this. That is to say you go to another country, meet a woman, fall in love much faster than you would normally and get married. It just happens that many of these women have the very qualities I am looking for and have had them drummed into them since they were children. I see absolutely nothing wrong in any of this. danny3777 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/14/2005 4:17:51 PM   Izi, Your whole perspective seems to revolve around the 'arranged marriage' scenario and many naive people may consider an international marriage to be 'arranged'. It is just my personal opinion that a marriage certificate is a documentation of two peoples love for each other. OK goverments force marriage, rather than living together, upon us in this scenario. If I want to buy a car or a house etc. then I will enter into a contractual agreement regarding the same, if I want my heating fixed then I will utilise the services of a contractor to do this, BUT, if I want sex on a Friday night or the dishes washed on a Saturday morning then I would not consider that my wife is contracted to fulfil these roles. A marriage, even a contractrual marriage, is a 50/50 partnership, what if she wants sex but I tell her I have a headache, should she then divorce me because I haven't fulfiled a contractual obligation Or is this only a man's world? izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/14/2005 5:15:23 PM   We are getting closer :)) Although the government is involved in this it is not the primary player. No, it is she and I who are center stage. The bare bones are as I have laid them out BUT I think that it is possible to get the whole thing. That is what I am shooting for. You mention sex. That is only a part of all this it is not a center driving reason. If it is the central driving reason then that problem could be solved without spending thousands of dollars travelling to Ukraine! Also as Spirit has mentioned I also am quite capable of doing just about everything a traditional wife can do with one exception and that is give birth. I want a wife that can fulfill the traditionl role of a wife. If she cannot or does not want to why would I bother with any of this? I already had a wife that spent my money and couldn't be bothered to clean the house, while I would clamber around fixing the roof or mowing the (considerable) lawn. In fact she point blank refused to do ANY work around the house. That will not happen again. I guarantee that if my future FSU woman does not take care of the domestic side of things while I am doing my bit there will be fights. That will lead to a rift and that will lead to a divorce. The good side to all this is that I do not see that happening. The present lady I am with does not work as Annika points out because she has a small child. He is now going to kindergarten and she wants to look for a job. At the moment I do not want her to do that because larning English is more important. She certainly does not live off her aging parents as Annika again points out. She wants to work in the States. Let us not get hung up on the sex part. It is getting blown out of proportion. But it also has to be said that I don't want a platonic relationship either. We will have to disagree I am afraid because your Friday night scenario I do consider to be a contractual obligation. I don't expect her to change the oil on the car or work 2 jobs if necessary I only expect her to fulfill her role as a wife. That means all the things I mentioned further back in this thread. The idea of a romantic marriage arrangement is a western idea that is relatively new in the history of mankind. Through history people have mared for a variety of reason sand not for love. Cementing countries together, pooling wealth etc. I offer a great deal and I will not squander the little that I have. AND the great thing about all this is that in reality it probably will be a very romantic relationship with both of us 50/50 and growing in love as the years pass. The comment about this being a man's world I have no idea what you are referring to. In my world both parties pull their weight and if they don't inevitably the one who isn't is going to get left behind. I can only think that you believe that I shall be some kind of dictator. Far from it. At first things will be my way because I definitely know best. Arrogant but completely true. As time goes by that will shift to a much more 50/50 situation because I don't want a serf I want a partner. However until she comes up to speed with language, culture, money, credit cards, credit bureaus, mortgages, cars and a host of other things it will be done my way. Unfortunately speaking about these principles makes me sound like a real nazi. Sorry if it seems that way. The truth is that I fret about her every day. I care about her very much. Frankly I don't think any of this stuff is an issue. She is fully aware that I will be the master in my own house and I think that as far as all this domestic stuff is concerned she would laugh if she heard any of this with the words "of course why are we even talking about it". :)) All I can say is each to his own way of doing things. You have yours and I have mine. Mindwire Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/14/2005 5:34:35 PM   Izi; NOW I understand why you did not want to give details about your current relationship... #! Not really sure what a Russian Ghost is though..... Annika; I think you misunderstand a lot of what people say here... My point was that I am very frustrated with the current dating situation I have with an American because of the dishonesty & manipulation which is completely pointless. She realizes it's over and is turning up the volume on the game-playing as a last-ditch effort... Life would be entirely pleasant if it wasn't for the psycho-babble communication that I currently endure with women here. I don't know where you came up with the "Barbie" analogy, but at 40 years old, having never been married & living single, I have figured out how to cook, clean, & do laundry.... I HIRE it done! If my wife didn't want to do it, I wouldn't blame her... I don't want to do it either! Beautiful would be nice, but open & honest communication is a requirement. I think communication takes care of the "Good in Bed" that you speak of. Family oriented is also a requirement of mine personally, because I wish to raise children. If she doesn't want to stay home with the kids, I will! (This is a very real option) But I am looking for a partner who will have active participation in raising children. I do agree with you that a Woman's mission in life should be to please her man... Just as a Man's mission in life is to please his wife and provide well for his family! It seems to me that the world would be a much better place if everyone thought this way. As for the contract of Marriage, that's what I'm looking for. I've done the semi-committed relationships and it always winds up with "Yours, Mine, & Ours". I believe this creates a division (and usually propagates the disagreements, dishonesty, & manipulation) that one cannot get past until it is all considered "Ours". Only then is there a true committment.... Just MY opinion of course......... :o) ... and what's wrong with Toys?? I have a lot of toys, and most are Very expensive... & fun too! Spirit; Double Jointed Neck??? Wouldn't she look like a giant chicken when she walks???.... lol Gardening & Canning?? The only way I'm doing that one is if it's to teach the kids something about horticulture & food processing. If my wife enjoys playing in the greenhouse, as I do, she can lay in another row of rose bushes or plant a bannana tree next to the pond..... :o) As long as she doesn't plant CACTUS... I HATE those pokey %^$*&%# !!! izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/14/2005 5:41:18 PM   Mindwire Long story about the Russian ghost :)) "Woman's mission in life should be to please her man... Just as a Man's mission in life is to please his wife and provide well for his family! It seems to me that the world would be a much better place if everyone thought this way." Think you hit the nail on the head with that one. As far as the Barbie analogy is concerned I hope everyone here understands that I was going to an extreme to bait Annika. However if Elena had a hump, on eye, a skin condition and stuttered I don't think we would be meeting in November. :)) The same goes for me:)) I think what Annika was really refering to was a Stepford Wife. That is something I couldn't stand. Mindwire Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/14/2005 5:53:27 PM   Hump one eye until she has a skin condition & stutters.... sounds like you've got a hell of a meeting planned in November! :)) Not sure what a Stepford Wife is.... sounds like a movie I heard the title of though.... Haven't seen it... Most of the time I feel like I'm living in a movie,(or a cartoon) so I don't watch too many. izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/14/2005 6:23:50 PM   Ok I said IF that was IF !! :)) In other words she and I are definitely attracted to each other. That is the starting point with any relationship. Although I was forced together with my ex wife and that could have been much worse. The Stepford Wives was a book by Ira Levin published in the early 1970's Stepford Wives is about a small suburb where the women happily go about their housework - cleaning, doing laundry, and cooking gourmet meals - to please their husbands. Unfortunately what has really happened is that the village's wives have been replaced with sex robots. It is an alegory for the "Barbie" style wife. izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/14/2005 6:24:41 PM   Sounds like a plan to me :)) nasfan6 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/15/2005 12:23:33 AM   Jesus Annika, you can't really believe half the crap you lay down in this forum do you????????? Annika77 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/15/2005 3:46:43 AM   Lets say so...if in that what Im writing isnt anyhing true...why some people feel like bitten? I was one who said that Toads realtionship will fail, people said Im bittered of jelaous, but I wasnt..just some clear thinking. But I was right. If I feel things are not right I write about them. I like brits and qualities british men have, at the same time I think they make often quick desisions and are unhappy after. Everybody who BELIVE womans mission is to please man. Does anybody belives girls come together, drink coffee and start to discuss how to please men:):):):):):):):):):)I havent NEVER EVER heard that in what ever womens company : russians, ukrainians what ever nationality! izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/15/2005 7:37:17 AM   Annika If you go to any supermarket in either America, Canada or England you will see umpteen magazines on the shelves as you check out. Most of them are womens magazines with very predictable covers. Makeup, losing weight, who is screwing who and how to attract and keep a man. Hmmmmmm I am 50 years old and I have seen these magazines my whole life. The 60's 70's 80's 90's. They never change. These magazines are geared up to making women attractive to men. That is their whole point. It is a perennial worry of women and a subject of constant interest so the publishers produce what sells. Do you understand my point? Women want to please men. Men want to secure and protect women. It is a caveman thing with a modern twist. So YES women do come together to talk about pleasing men. It is not obvious or straight forward but yes they do. When young girls get together and have a sleep over and discuss make up do you think it is because they want to smear paint on their faces? Of course not. They do it to make themselves attractive to other women? Donkeys? Typewriters? Cars? No MEN!!! So women do get together and discuss how to please men. And generally dish the dirt on men. And pull them apart. And sing their praises to their friends. Anyway I am just glad that we idiots amuse you up there on Mount Olympus. I feel better that I have contributed to your enetertainment for the day. After all that is my job isn't it? To humor you? Annika77 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/15/2005 8:24:34 AM   Dear Izi,...real LIFE ISNT COSMOPOLITAN and teen moovie (where you probably have seen sleep over parties (or you was under the bed). I like to read mens magaznes and if I really belive every word :):):) Seem that american women had read these magazines still60 but havent still learnt how to please men:):):):)all I read in that board is moaning about american women... Actually I dont see point to argue...Im always suprised how black and white is world for some people:) Mindwire Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/15/2005 3:58:24 PM   Actually I agree with Annika... Im always suprised how black and white is world for some people:) Especially Annika..... :p spirittraveller Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/15/2005 7:46:12 PM   I agree Annika--the world is black and white in America at least-- because we have lost the colorful base of family--the woman!! Reading men`s magazines? Barbie is turning into Billy. This is part of the problem. Women have masculated themselves,partly by choice. ANd those that have not stepped completely over the line worry about their fingernails being broken and can only burn TV dinners. There was,and is nothing wrong with a woman who grows up playing with dolls,making mud pies,and having "tea parties" with miniature cups and imaginary tea. I played with Lincoln Logs,Tinker Toys,erector sets,and Radio Shack optics and electronic sets. I hunted and fished and played rugby ( smear the queer) while my dear sister was learning from gramma how to bake bread and apple pies. When I played football,the same little girls sat in pretty dresses ( with their non-masculine legs together and hands in lap) encouraging us in our play,however bloody it was. Annika,women used to join together to fraternize about the men in their family. To go back before my time--the game they played was euchre and canasta. They would have knitting sessions and quilting bees,and "ladies night out" did not mean they went to the tavern to ogle other men`s butts,because they were quite satisfied in knowing that their provider,their lover,their rock of support was at home for them,and happy because she was everything he was not. She was his better half,not just 1/3 of him--she was the sensibility to his irascability-she was the fairness to balance his rough ways. It just made more sense that two members of a relationship should be everything that the other person was not,and that together they would make a winning combination which imbued the best of their separate qualities in their kids. Some advice Annika--get the paper,so that when your relations crumble 8 years later you will not be left without a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of ( Thanks to my blimey cousins for that phrase!!) I did this too for 8 years and gave everything away stupidly. Withered emotionality makes you do foolish things. Sometimes starting over can be a series of mini-disasters ( where did that crow-foot wrench go? Oh that`s right--she had to have that too just to spite me. I hope she is kind to my Aussie shepherd dog she used to complain about so much! Oh,and what happened to that picture of me and my daughter at her christening? Yep--she kept and threw that away too) Guess what? I will keep the cosmopolitan,girl`s slumber party for the sake of my daughter`s femininity. Maybe she won`t grow up to be a megalomaniacal homophobic. Maybe she will go shopping for items to make the house cozy. Maybe she will think about somebody other then herself--which is what is really wrong with about 70% of the world spirittraveller Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/15/2005 7:48:05 PM   Mindwire--I do not care if she looks like a triple jointed turkey neck as long as she wakes up in the morning without that dour and condescending look on her face,and eye makeup all over my pillows! 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