Well, I agree on the nice guy losing thing. I consider myself to be an attractive guy and have dated some very pretty ladies, but I am too freakn nice. I am a hopeless romantic to the bone , and I turned freakn 30 today. Who knows maybe I am dating out of my league. I just can't settle though. I am pretty sure that I will be single for the rest of my life at this point. Lol.
Hey guys, forgive me for disturbing... I have been gone so long now, so I guess most of you have gotten used to noe having me around.. lol... Anyway?? What does dating outside my league mean?? I just don't get it.. Is there a rule who say that a beautiful woman can't have the same bad taste in men as a ugly one???
Hello, everyone. I posted to this site just about ten days ago, shortly before my trip to Belarus. I have been unsure about how much to share here but, having read castaway’s posts, would like to make my contribution.
I would like to say to you, castaway, that it was your own postings and others generated by discussion of your experiences that made me want to join. In my opinion, you have inspiring levels of both commitment and self-awareness (such that Svetlana can hardly fail to register, be this apparent or not). The honourable nature of your intentions is also abundantly clear. I hope you will continue to express these admirable qualities through actions that will call your dream firmly into being – please accept my best wishes and well-intentioned encouragement.
In preparing for my trip, it occurred to me that I am advantaged by my experience of travel to distant parts of the world. I decided that my goal was as much to win the confidence of Galina’s family as it was to win hers. Realising that one can learn what to do and what not to do from the actions of others, I undertook to do my utmost to avoid being ‘flashy’, ‘showy’ or ostentatious in any way. Instead, I made a conscious decision to be well-groomed and well-mannered and to find something pleasant to comment on about everyone and everything. I decided to avoid over-familiarity and sexual intimacy (not wishing to ‘cheapen the currency’). I left behind the electronic English-Russian talking dictionary because I decided that to use it would actually form a barrier to communication (instead we all shared a pocket dictionary). I also followed that Victorian adage ‘Never complain, Never explain’, my only concession to the professed need to show ‘strength of character’. Such was my attitude when I left.
In short, then, undertaking this trip was one of the best things I have ever done for myself – and, I hope and trust, for another.
However, there were several aspects to the experience that remain unfortunate, though perhaps understandable.
Firstly, the attitude of staff at the hotel: I stayed at the very comfortable Hotel Minsk and was delighted by the attentive service, but it angers me that some (most?) of the staff treat guests’ opposite-sex visitors as though they were prostitutes. It is (for me) unfortunate that there were always a dozen such women in the hotel bar after eleven o’clock each evening. It is also worth mentioning that all of these women are stunningly beautiful to look at, very elegantly dressed and their perfume was exquisite. But the stigmatising association of my visitor in the lobby each morning and the prostitutes in the lobby bar each night saddens and angers me. It seems clear to me that this due entirely to prejudice among the staff
Secondly, the attitude of the British Embassy: Galina and I had been writing to each other for about three months before my visit. I wanted to invite her to visit me in the UK in December, so we went along to the British Embassy to apply for Visitor Entry Clearance/Tourist Visa. This was refused on the grounds that the Embassy Officials were not satisfied that she would return to Belarus when she had said she would. I had prepared a letter and brought six months’ original documentation about earnings and accommodation (I am a schoolteacher, owner/occupier of a three-bedroom house); the Embassy Officials patiently explained that the refusal of Galina’s application was as much for my protection as for any other reason. It seems clear to me that the motives of women from Belarus are not trusted at all by the British authorities.
Finally, the attitude of some of Galina’s friends: they were wonderfully supportive but the fact that they repeatedly advised her to lie disturbs me more than a little. (It hardly seems worth mentioning that Galina handled such advice tactfully).
That is the full extent of the negative things I have to say.
Every aspect of the visit exceeded my wildest dreams, let alone my hopes or expectations. Although I may be describing the experience in superlative terms, I am not exaggerating. I have to acknowledge that both she and I have worked and been open to the possibility of our meeting being as successful as it was, but I readily admit that our good fortune in having found each other leaves me in bewildered awe.
I hope others may take encouragement from this. And the future? I booked my next visit as soon as Galina’s Tourist Visa application was rejected; I see a beautiful future for our relationship and I intend to ask her to marry me next Spring.
I would now like to ask other members’ advice about obtaining a UK Fiancée or Spouse Visa and about how to improve our chances of swaying the decision of the British Embassy authorities in Belarus in our favour (despite what seems like excessive caution). Thank you for reading this, everyone!