It is absolutlu amoral have any sex without marrige.
Only than you are sure that man loves you. You need time to understant it. If he loves that means he want to be with me all his life. That means he want to marry. So it is better just to wait.
I know that with this atitude I will be alone all my life. But it is better then to be used.
LOL!!!
And you know this how...? I know PLENTY of women that have sex just to have sex. No emotional attachments. Your argument is based on feeling and not on any kind of fact.
Fornication like this it should be pointed out (again, see 'A Tale of Two Camps') that there are at least two kinds of people here:
Men seeking the one-and-only, to-death-do-you-part wife
and
The 'do it as often as possible with as many partners as possible' men.
(it might turn out that there is another group as well: The Verbal Erotica group who transforms a minimum of experience into a maximum of talk.)
Very really people do deceive their partner directly.
I think in real life it is much more complicated. I think usually people pretend that they are looking for serious relationship. They lie to themselves. And so that is why they lie to their partner.
They pretend that sex is just a step in order to be close and better understand each other. This is lie. They are just looking to comfort themselves.
That is why sex is absolutely forbidden in honest relationship before marriage.
Bagira, I'm very sorry that there is pain in your life. I hope that you will be happy again soon!:)
But I don't agree with you that it is wrong to have sex before marriage. Sex is a really nice thing! And I doubt that any man would wait for a girl and sex with her, until marriage, well he will say something like "Yes of course my dear", but I think that he will go to prostitutes or ex-lovers not to be bored! Not a single man can wait for a couple of years without sex...and I doubt that any woman can:) At least I can't live without sex with my beloved more then 1 day!:)
Well all this talk sounds pretty interesting.
I'm off to St Petersburg with a friend to meet up with a few women we have been corresponding with and we shall endevour to find out how the women react on the first date. Watch this space..........
Bariga,
Allow me to enlighten you on a priceless nugget of knowledge about men, sex and the women who withhold it to manipulate them to get what they want (which is primarily to deny sex to their men).
Sex is a bodily function, just as important for men as is eating, sleeping and urinating....to mention a few.
Confident western men who are comfortable with their sexuality NEVER wait to get married to have sex, because among other reasons, we do not have to...and because we want to make sure that doing such an intimate thing with you matches the rest of the activities we enjoy doing together before we even consider making a long term commitment of exclusivity to you or any other woman.
I'm truly sorry that you are in pain for the end of a relationship. Did it end for lack of sex?
Maybe it ended because the sex was no good, in which case it is a good thing. Nobody should get stuck in a marriage or relationship with bad or no sex.
But there is absolutely nothing wrong for either men or women to have sex with each other before they marry...not even if the have no intentions to get married, as long as they do not lie to their partners.
How old are you, Bagira?
Cheer up, kid...:)...both sex and the quality of relationships get better if you apply the lessons learnt.
Bagira,
I was reading this and was not going to comment. However by the time I got to the end I thought I'd fall off the chair. I have never heard such outdated, medieval twaddle in all my life !! It is 2004 not 1900.
There is another aspect to this. It could quite easily take up to 2 years to
1)Meet
2)Court
3)Visit a few times
4)Figure out how to find the father of the inevitable child from a previous marriage/liasion
5)Climb through the paperwork
6)Fight the INS
and
7)Somehow find all the money to finance all this.
It is a project and no mistake. If you think that for one second I would go through all this without having sex you are crazy. I would like to get that particular aspect of the relationship effective from the very first visit. And I do mean well before the second week! You need to wake up and smell the coffee my dear. It just doesn't work that way and if you are serious that you would put a western man through all this just to find out that after a year or so of torment that you are possibly frigid you are going to be alone for a very, very long time. Either that or find a nice Russian guy who won't beat you, fool around with other women or come home drunk every night. Not to mention pay all the bills regularly.
My God woman be a little realistic it is only sex not becoming blood brothers (sisters).
I am sorry to hear you were hurt so. I went through something similar when my first real realtionship ended. I lost all interest in relationships and sex for 3 years. Yeah guys. I said 3 YEARS. It was a funny situation looking back on that. Many people were convinced I was gay. LOL!!!
While the notion of waiting till marriage is a nice romatic notion it is not prtactical or realistic. Plus there MUST be more to a real relationship than sex. Sex is much better with soemone you have an emotional connection with. At least thats been my exp. Oh and this should go without saying but not all men are like your ex-boyfriend. Deal with your pain before getting involved with soemone new. Hope this helps you in some way.
Groon is absolutely right. Sex is a whole different experience with someone you really care about. I have never been a fan of 'sportsex'. It just seems wrong somehow.
I once lived with a Haitian girl. After a while I really didn't like her. She still wanted sex and I just couldn't touch her anymore. I had the same experience with an older Cuban woman and don't get me started on my wife. Yuk!
Sex deepens a relationship and somewhat literally cements it together. Once you have gone through this barrier you now have an intimacy on a dozen different levels. You no longer are 2 strangers eating lunch and watching movies together but one unit committed to one another. It's tough to explain but I gave it a shot.