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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > The 400 Author Post GLTALLTOAD Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/10/2005 5:24:02 PM   QC, I'm glad you threw the "who's perfect anyway?" challenge. Not me, mate. The mere concept of perfection is heresy to any self confident aspiring hedonist like moiself. I leave the search for perfection for those poor poor poor people who sacrifice too much in their lives to achieve it, only to find out once they do, it goes away or jsut stops being perfect. How long can an olympic athlete hold on to that 10 score for that perfect jump or routine compared to how much of their lives they devoted to it? You will never read me post things like: "I have a 'perfect' relationship with Lena", either. I have a great relationship with her, we communicate well, often and openly...but it has potholes, misundertandings and disagreements. We both make mistakes, we learn from them and move on. Some small, some not so small. Yesterday, as an example, she luckily intercepted an small bag envelope I sent to her brother for his birthday and she immediately noticed I wrote the family name as ....ARINOVA (feminine) instead of the properly written '...ARINOV' as it should be for all males. Patronimic names in all the western languages I know remain the same for both male and female Not so in russian. Small mistake, but something that could have cause some offense to a 21 yr old russian dude. You will most definitely NOT read from me that she is a perfect woman. The perfect woman does not exist. The perfect woman for most men is the one that after a passionate and torrid sex session can willingly and just as passionately turn herself into a six pack of beer and a sandwich...(Dirty martini, up, 3 olives in my case) Lena is simply the BEST woman I could find after doing what I believe was due diligence. That's all...:) That also comes with ZERO guarantees of future success...only an opportunity to make it so. toad QuietCharm Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/10/2005 5:34:00 PM   Ok, Izi. Glad to hear you are fine. You are right. If someone benefits then it's useful. :-) izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/10/2005 5:51:12 PM   QC I just read through that post of yours again and there are so many holes in it that it will detract from the point of this thread which everybody seems to have bypassed. Ok I'll bite. The warnings about Marina were not anywhere in this forum before I went. Nobody has tackled the prospect of meeting an unstable person before. Nor twisted logic. The problem is that we tend to attribute those characteristics to western women only. Wrong! Everybody is a candidate. This makes it highly difficult to establish a long distance relationship doesn't it? So you write a lot of emails. Make some phone calls. Go see her for what, 6 weeks one year? Then ask her to marry you. Hardly a basis for a sound marriage is it? But it is impossibe to go all the time and we have to make a living. You go in your van for months if you want to but most cannot. I cannot spend 2 months in Ukraine or Russia. My boss would kill me.:))) Therefore we try to narrow the odds and hope that the other side is doing the same. You sound a little critical of this. I don't know why. There have been arrange marriages long before this and mostly they work. It is the ones based on hormone driven love that usually fail. This could go on and on. Annika has displayed the reality of the situation, I'm not going to cut my throat and everybody had a good time lets call the party over. nasfan6 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/10/2005 6:15:09 PM   Achieving perfection is impossible, the quest for it a pure joy! nasfan6 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/10/2005 6:49:41 PM   Izi, hindsight is 20/20 and none of can really comment on the early signs of trouble because none of us were privy to that except you and Marina.And if anyone here has that kind of foresight please email me with the winning Powerball numbers for Saturday night. Thank You! spirittraveller Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/11/2005 12:09:43 AM   We often excuse unacceptable behavior while blinded by the fog of new romance. We console ourselves by saying,"oh,she`s having a bad day",or "she is on her period". Well,nobody knew her bad day would actually be 20 days out of the month. Oh,sorry,"she has suffered so much abuse at the hands of so many that I can relate to where she`s coming from". You take the good with the bad. She will change when she sees how much I love her. She has a low tolerance to stupidity. SHe has a headache. She is bipolar. Oh,she forgot to take her birth control pill. These are attributes that need to be checked--and nipped from the start,or at least given some consideration and discussion! Being sympathetic does not mean you should be a doormat. Being understanding does not mean that repetitive behavior is something you will grow to understand. If a certain behavior goes unchecked at the very beginning,and you let it pass--it is like training a puppy. It is "no dog on the bed ever",not "now it is okay but if mama says you must go--vamoose!" Talk about confusing!! If she knows I smoke a little doobage when we got together,and decides later that she won`t tolerate it,tough titty!! If her sense of humor is more bawdy than a drain plumber,and that was tolerable in the beginning,then I decide to tell her I am an anti-obscenity spokesman,then that is on me. Again tough titty because I did not concern myself in the beginning. We see the signs but are oblivious to them while in the throes of love. Or we are very honest not only to her,but to ourselves. Catch the yellow flag before it turns red! If you are repelled by her dirty socks under the mattress,don`t stifle up and be silently perturbed and smoldering--tell her that it is disgusting. Buck up and be a man--she will respect you for it if she is any good kind of woman-or child-or boss-or brother. izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/11/2005 12:55:43 AM   Spirit THANK YOU somebody gets it, finally! This kind of thing is exactly what I have been driving at in my clumsy way and have got sidetracked. Therefore finally we get back to the beginning. Toad contacted over 400 women in his search for 'true love':))) So Spirit what is your game plan, IM, emails, calls? When are you going etc etc. Enquiring minds want to know I want to compare notes. I didn't get into this to thread to rub Annika up the wrong way although I think it was actually self inflicted and she has served a very useful purpose here. Spirit speak. You have finally managed to cut to the chase. What do you think about all this and what is your approach? Dale E Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/11/2005 1:18:13 AM   I think Spirit's first approach is to roll up a big fat one! QuietCharm Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/11/2005 3:39:00 AM   Izi Lol. When has a thread ever stayed on track..??!! Feel free to discuss the 'holes.' This is all instructive, right? I wont take it personally.. promise! :-) Wasn't it you who said 'If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, etc.. it's a duck'. Your flood of posts and the thrust they are taking LOOKS like a crusade. Nothing wrong with that. We English have experience of crusades. Remember mine to take on the Toadlet? Lol. Heady memories ;-) You said you were already over Marina, yet it LOOKS like you aren't. Some of your language was NOT the language of someone who is over it. 'Quack!' ;-))) Spirit's 'FINALLY getting it' is the same point you and I and others have ALREADY got within this thread. I think everybody GETS it. But you are right to home in on it again. For you it was key. I have already acknowledged that time constraints are an inherent part of the risk in this kind of search. Arranged marriages work for an entirely different set of factors, many of which no Russian or westerner is likely to be subjected to. The social glue is not there. I don't think Annika gives a monkey's and she serves the same purpose as the rest of us.. a different viewpoint. Or is it chatroom groupie..?? ;-)) You may be right and I'm missing the point somewhere. Please clarify. On the subject of distractions. I see there is a weekly direct flight from Bangkok to Vladivostok. Perhaps I don't have to a abandon my quest after all. Asian babes permitting. Give me a puff of that Dale. spirittraveller Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/11/2005 6:43:15 AM   kay-I confess. I like the invigorating buzz from 2 or 3 puffs of really good indica,but I cannot stand Mexican brown dirtweed. It makes me so anxious,and anxiety is one thing I do not need. I like Annika. I do not think she can tolerate my rhetorical nonsense,but she flavors this forum. She may be a little too serious though. Women who are like this-it is my sincere challenge to find their funny bone,or to flip them upside down and tickle them until they beg me to stop,or threaten to pee-whichever comes first. I am not tight on my locations,Izi. I do not care what country she is from-America seems like the last choice,but I know there`s a hippie chick out there somewhere ( maybe a yuppie chica )who is not hung up on herself. It is always my fate-I always seem to be wrestling with 2 or 3 prospects at the same time. A woman friend from Louisiana is leaning on my shoulder now because her mama is close to death,and her daughter is in the hospital-pregnant and with toxemia sigh--it is not easy to be a good friend,or to do the right thing. I also had some young ( 20ish) women writing to me,but I felt that I had to stop my VIP status here so I would not stretch myself even more.Another woman from Montana has finally given up on me or I wore her out. A woman here in Phoenix I was just banging,and I gave this up too. I have been phoning and e-mailing my latest serious woman from Kazakhstan. She is here in fiance.com now,and claims no knowledge of it. She was in some other dating sites,and I tend to believe her innocence. I am planning on going to her in September. She was put off by this,wanting me to come right now,but I explained to her that I just took 2 weeks off from work,and I would be stretching it by going in September. December is more realistic for my agenda. I have been asked to come back to work for a large plumbing company that needs inspiration for its` younger guys,and my salary would shoot up to 60,000++,but I do not dare commit myself until after I resolve things with Ella. Currently,she is in Moscow,and I do not undertstand why a maternity ward nurse would go from Almaty to Moscow for training. After all,Kazakhstan is one of the largest countries in the world. I am very scrupulous of spoken and unspoken motives,and anything that smacks of deceit or lies turns me cold. I play by the golden rule. One thing that bothers me, is that Ella wrote personally very responsive letters for a while,but now the letters have become "clipped". This is not my first experience,and I believe that some women actually "exhaust" their supply of english in the first few letters or phone calls,and things become less easier to understand,albeit manageable. I especially cannot talk to her when I am driving,and any outside interference or noise makes it worse. I have over 6 years written and spoken to about 100 women. Of these only about 8 from fiance.com,another 10 from Matchdoctor ( not all frauds ) 10 from New Dating,10 from Love access.com, a few from Webdate,and a smattering of other sites. These 100 over 6 years are the ones who were not discounted from the very start,or kept up genuine correspondence. One lady from Matchdoctor fell silent for a couple months ( hence my suspicion when they go cold for one week even ),and when I recontacted her she told me on the phone she met a businessman at the Kiev airport,and he got her the business visa. They were married 1 month later in New York. I was crushed. But he is Jewish,she Orthodox,and ne`er the twain shall meet. They were nearly annulled. But she has turned into a party girl and brought her sister into the fracas,and when she speaks on the phone is curt and non giving in conversation to the point of being rude or argumentative. This is another sign of having too many men on her hands while her marriage is crumbling. Talk about taking the phone to the closet! Anyway,I chose Almaty,because it is surrounded by much beauty,and is as foreign and strange to me as I could imagine-being close to China,Russia,Uzbekistan,Mongolia,and partially Iran. I have been going to the expatriate site for Almaty,and devouring as much info as I can on this place. I am pulled often to different places for other people-earlier this year I hauled ass to Redding,then I had to go to Portland Oregon. Next week I am flying to Chicago. I do so little for myself,that this is not completely about the woman-it is about my need to leave the US. I have played around in Mexico and Canada,and am kind of bored at that prospect now,so it is an urge I aspire to fill-and satisfy this year before I whore myself out to another megalo-conglomerate for the love of money. I realize how flaky, flighty and frivolous this search can be,so I absorb everything I can get here. I have taken much to heart,and I have learned about relating to women-not just FSU women. That is why everything here seems so tangible. I have only been coming to the forum here,and am pretty much done with my search/screening process ( for now at least ) It is all about desire at this point,and I am very insistent about this desire not turning even slightly cold. I remember when I did not have a home computer,and would go to the library 3 times a week to use theirs,or a friends. And if a woman cannot break away from the agency,I believe her desire does not match mine. There are too many means available to MOST of these women,and I do not buy into the excuse of not having computer access. I would walk through a snowstorm to communicate with the woman of my desires,and if she does not have this same level of desire,then most likely she never will. Two wrong pieces of the puzzle simply will not-cannot jamb themselves together. And I am very perceptive when it comes to women-I sniff out a lie like it is a dead rat. So-there`s my story--another long-winded cavalcade of meaningless song and dance. I know that we are all born to lose. Lose our youth and beauty,the people we love and care about,our faith occasionally,our sense o spirittraveller Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/11/2005 6:48:20 AM   wow-there IS a limit to what you can write. This is probably good. I was cut off while writing that we lose so much in life,and it is part of the lesson in life. I hope you all are done with this lesson,as pertains to the woman for all life. izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/11/2005 9:08:09 AM   No Spirit it was interesting. I have just got up am drinking coffee and nursing a slight hang over from 4 glasses of wine last night. I broke dowmn and had a drink, I wasn't going to drink ever again but what the hell my stomach hasn't shrunk yet :))I will respond because I have questions. You too QC :)) QuietCharm Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/11/2005 10:10:33 AM   lol. Izi. Don't do it, you'll wear me out! 6 years, ST? That IS taking your time. Would be interested to hear more but it is the weekend and real life is out there. ;-) I like the Thunderdome Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/11/2005 11:49:42 AM   Me too, I lik Thunderdome Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/11/2005 11:50:22 AM   And, eh, ;-) have a nice weeken QuietCharm Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/11/2005 2:28:03 PM   .. way forum members cut me some slack ;-) Dale E Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/11/2005 5:50:17 PM   LOL!- QC jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/11/2005 7:13:19 PM   Izi: I'm jumping straight ahead from page one because - I just read it and what happened to you. This letter/comment may or may not be pertinent based on what has been written since (and frankly I don't have the time to read the rest right now before I get this oof my chest). The two letter combination thing - supposedly to a Gerhard - I don't buy it for a minute. a test. Yeah right. Russian women are incredible liars when they want to be. They have a unique ability to tell outlandish lies that nobody else could even consider getting away with - and yet you (or I) so much WANT to find credibility in. I have to admit - I have never once caught my lady lying to me. Okay one tiny one when we both met. But it is so insignificant it doesn't warrant the explanation it would need. Her friend, on the other hand, the other Moldovan I considered - and nearly made arrangements to get together with TWICE last year - was actually very pregnant at the time. She delivered in September and until July was asking me to meet her in Ukraine in early September. Had we actually agreed to meet I have no idea how that little detail would have been explained. On the other hand - since I had not even actually seen this woman since October 2003 (the year before) and have ONLY the word of my very possessive and jealous finace to fall back on that her betraying friend actually had a baby - its possible that IS a lie. Again, I generally deny the possibility even to myself - because I happen to be in very deep love with my fiance and the possibility that she is lieing about this, now, inconsequential thing is unimportant. I know that money is an issue for everyone (including me). I am certainly not in possession of pots of the stuff as QC has claimed in the past. But, izi, my most sincere and heartfelt recommendation for you right now would be to take a Romance Tour with one of the known companies. I understand that prices are falling as Ukraine and other places are opening more to the west. it is how I met my gorgeous lady and I truly did have the time of my life!! jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/11/2005 7:24:48 PM   Okay - I got to page two. I must admit Annika is very annoying sometimes but it WOULD be a great loss if she suddenly stopped writing. I don't know of a good way to put this - and please pardon me Annika - but she reminds me a little of the not so dear parts of Russian women. Sometimes i swear she is actually the FIRST Russian woman I dated (and did happen to fall in love with) in disguise. She is a bit cold and cruel yet sometimes very warm - and to her British guys are of course superior to Americans in everyway. (Actually my first Russian lady liked Hugh Grant more than anything). Annika - you keep it real - not always (or maybe ever) fluffy - but certainly REAL. spirittraveller Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/11/2005 10:11:36 PM   She is a bit cold and cruel yet sometimes very warm --this sounds like an earthy babe to me. Come back Annika,I miss you! 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