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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > Quick Advice Author Post GeminiDreams Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 9/18/2010 8:28:28 PM   Well Ivor I would say if she had 10 flower deliveries she would become a florist down in the subway tunnels selling them off. GeminiDreams Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 9/18/2010 8:31:08 PM   If fell out the door of a bus and landed face first my wife would still give me an earful if I did not give her a hand to get down! Rick4girl Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 9/19/2010 1:16:27 AM   I always buy some little token gift or a flower for a lady I meet for first time...except for the girl who met me at 11pm at the train station in Kharkiv and she didnt seeem like the flower type anyway. I dont see what the big deal is over gifts anyway. Since the flood gates opened in the 90s, the girls pretty much expect that their American suitor would buy them something because its been done now for nearly 20 years. I even know Russian guys who will bring flowers often to their lady. In my mind, this is kinda like a test to them to see what kind of guy you are and its a balancing act of not being a pushover but also not a scrooge. Rick4girl Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 9/19/2010 4:36:05 AM   I agree Ivor about these guys being their own worst enemies. Years ago I fell for that trap and failed miserably because I was one guy among 10 who send these gifts and flowers and even come to see them and all carefully crafted by "the agency" who basically had control of everything and you basically spend lots of money for nothing. There is a learning curve and one must get over the whole awestruck feeling and thinking you are going to find the love of your life on your first trip. RARELY happens and when it does? how legitimate do you think it is? The ladies aren't stupid. Many expect gifts because they are conditioned to think its normal because of the misguided actions of a few. When you are getting 10 deliveries of roses, candy, little trinket gifts per month, what would you think? Some of the really attractive ones who are promoted by agencies do. What a good girl wants to know is if you are going to treat her good(and her child if applicable), will you give her a good stable loving home and will she feel safe and secure with you. They are more interested in your personality and whether can they imagine living with you. This doesn't happen just like that in a week. And they may like to have surprises and some gift but they arent worried about how much money you brought to spend. baron555 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 9/19/2010 12:26:11 PM   Misery loves company. "about these guys being their own worst enemies. get over the whole awestruck feeling and thinking you are going to find the love of your life on your first trip. RARELY happens and when it does? how legitimate do you think it is?" Yes most guys are their own worst enemies. If they put forth the real effort to find and learn about real women, then when they go on these trips, there would be better chances. And there are more successful trips than one would tend to believe; this forum is a very small subset. bowhunter Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 9/19/2010 8:42:27 PM   I have to admit when I meet a lady for the first time I normally bring some flowers. on occasion I will bring a gift if I am seeing the same lady for a second trip. Might and its a big might get her something while I am there if we are hitting it off. My lady would prefer chocolate to any gift I get her well almost, she says her favorite gift is me. since I will be seeing her in 8 days I did get her some thermal underwear for the cold winter, will pick up chocolate later this week. I think one of the best gifts to give is cooking pots since she should be cooking for you. Rick4girl Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 9/20/2010 2:12:32 AM   "And there are more successful trips than one would tend to believe; this forum is a very small subset. " For sure, I know of 3 in just the last 90 days among those I know informally. I may join that statistic by next year:) Harvey Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 9/20/2010 1:36:36 PM   I can say that what prompted my enlistment into this was hearing of someone from here who had a Russian wife. I had no idea it was such a huge business. Business aside there are those who make it work for themselves without wasting money unnecessarily. I was always skeptical of the link on a website for sending gifts or flowers. Never did that. I only ever sent flowers to my lady after we were together and then it was using a private firm not associated with any dating website. We had only about three exchanges using EM. From then out it was direct correspondence through our own email accounts. And now, since I am married to a Russian, I am discovering there are quite a few around here. Funny I wanted to buy my wife - fiance' at the time - cooking pots/pans for her apartment. She adamantly refused getting anything! My old camp cookware is ten times better than what she had but it functioned for her and that was good enough. It sure kept you up on washing dishes for sure. She had a cabinets full of good china and cooking stuff at her mom's place but never moved it into her new place, never had to ;) Juffles Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/4/2010 8:59:45 PM   Simpleton, I'm a bit late with this, but although what you describe has an entertaining side to an on-looker, you have my understanding as you remind me of my own earlier experiences. I haven't had such a bad date as you, although I think far too much emphasis has been given to this whole 'gift thing'. If receiving a gift was of so much importance to her, then clearly her soul-mate priorities are to be doubted. I lugged a load of presents on one visit for two women who didn't even show, which I then had to lug back. Never again! My correspondent and I will have to meet - and like each other, before there is any gift-giving, apart from something simple; if I feel like it. Just like you, on one occasion when I presented a girl with a bag of goodies from my hometown, I didn't even get a 'thank you'. Reading about so many women who ask a man she hardly knows, to go 'shopping', really baffles me. Do they have no pride? It seems so rude; surely you only do this with close family or someone you are already in an established relationship with? As for the food-scraps, while perfectly OK with someone you know well, it was not appropriate, even though you meant well. Coincidentally, I was in a similar situation in a Mexican restaurant in Odesa where there was lots of expensive food left over, and the interpreter asked me if I wanted to take it home, which I considered quite thoughtful. But never mind, because your girl/date from the start seemed to have an extremely low chance of success, for several reasons. Reading all your contributions, it seems to me that inconsistencies about this girl should have been noticed in her correspondence. For example, to answer your serious questions with "I'll tell you when you get here" is totally unacceptable; I would have then ended communication, dismissing her as either too lazy, not serious, or insulting my intelligence. Her agency's suggestion to find your apartment/meet at the airport etc, is just touting for business, which is not a good sign either; nor were her contradictory letters from your two sites. Her unwillingness to meet at a place where she might be recognised is also not auspicious, as it implies she is expecting to be ashamed of you. Do your photos give her good reason to be wary about what her friends might think? But you were lucky to have an on-side interpreter, even if she did cost the higher agency-interpreter rate (which she will only receive a proportion). As for her being on occasions "passively hostile", I think in that situation you have to immediately forget her and prioritise a new opportunity. Also, if you don't mind me saying, I think you rushed in to buying air-tickets too prematurely to meet this girl, because, to her defence, she did say there was mistrust on both sides BEFORE you travelled. Oh, and her profile differences on various sites that you noticed, such as her being a smoker/non-smoker: women on anastasia never smoke! But you shouldn't be concerned about her name being spelt slightly differently. Many of their names have different variables, such as Yulia - Julia - Yuliya. Tatyana - Tatiana - Tanya - Tania - Yana, etc. I have much experience with 'anastasiadate.com', where I have met some women during several visits, but I really can't recommend that site to anyone, and regret my time wasted there. BTW, if you know how to do it, you CAN send contact info. in your letters. Her letters "lacking detail" is spot-on! Extreme brevity and minimal effort seems the norm in their replies. Why, I wonder? My advice to you, Simpleton, is to write-off your experience as a loss, get off anastasia, set-up a well-written profile and try writing to some girls on this site; with their own e-mail address. Apparently there is a new two-way video/audio/text chat facility, and I'm keen to know if has anyone tried it. But don't compare here with before. I think this site has a lot of potential, but you have to take the initiative and just make the first move, because on fiance.com's womens' forum (which is very interesting) there are a couple of threads that complain about lack of mens' letters, despite many hits on their profiles. Perhaps they are waiting for us, and we are waiting for them, so after a couple of weeks of submitting your profile you won't get the 5 - 10 intro. letters arriving daily that you may be used to, and certainly not from non-agency, young hotties. But hopefully any correspondence you do receive will be more authentic, and therefore avoiding future insincere or dubious meetings. FSULover Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/5/2010 7:58:20 AM   How can I read the women's forum (just a curiosity)? Rick4girl Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/6/2010 4:05:31 AM   I wanna see the women's forum too Juffles Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/7/2010 7:35:34 PM   Danny, "So far I have nothing really good to show". If your efforts are informative and accurate, then your discoveries will be interesting. But if you are inclined to investigate dating/introduction sites, then I think you will yield plenty of results from sites such as 'Russian Love Match' ('hot russian brides'), 'army-of-brides', 'anastasiadate', or 'NatashaClub'. Perhaps not scam sites, but definitely rip-off sites. You mention YouTube. Some of these sites have great commercial power, so your uploads may be short-lived, or most probably unsuccessful. These sites belong to big money men. By the way, it is not unusual to see an introductory video where a girl is dancing. Just enjoy it, and then concentrate on someone serious, or did you have to pay to see your sexy girl dance? Does the Elena's Models site have videos? u791106 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/10/2010 6:28:55 AM   can i also look at the women's forum ? jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/11/2010 12:23:11 AM   Damn this is a good thread. Not simple at all. I haven't even read neyond the first page but feel I must comment. Pardon me if these things were covered later but I would like to weigh in. Gifts are important to FSU ladies (its part of their culture). Not neccessarily the big expensive ones (you want to stay away from ladies who want these) but the small ones. Example - I had a girlfriend from Mariupol who I went to visit. I brought a few things from America. Some M&Ms in a big bag for her mother who loved them (they are available in Ukraine but taste different). Some Green Bay Packer shot glasses for her father (I am from Green Bay). But I neglected to bring anything for her sister. I didn't know the sister would be there (she lived a disatnce away) and it slipped my mind. Instant crisis as the mother and sister were coming to meet me (and I had met them before). I happened to bring an extra toothbrush. I don't know why I did. I think it was a two for one price when I brought it and I threw it in my kit. I had given the extra to my girl and she in turn instantly made this a gift to her sister. A tooth brush from America. Crisis and social fauz pax averted. If the originator of this piece was buying gifts for family and could not give a gift for her - that's a slap in the face. A simple flower of a bunch of them go a long way. And about giving leftovers - most translator know that Americans do this all the time which is probably why it was offered to you. But Ukrainians would sooner starve than take home left overs. It means you can't afford to eat otherwise and wounds pride. Thats another huge faux pas. Juffles Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/13/2010 8:32:30 PM   Danny-"Superdong", Your Skype name will certainly attract the serious girls. Now I know where I went wrong. Perhaps I should set up a new profile with a similar girl-pulling name such as 'ChampionLover', or 'KingDick'. "A Chick in knickers and a bra pole-dancing, doing a strip". This would be enough to offend any God-fearing, morally righteous, upstanding pillar of the community. How did you survive such a visual assault? But for me, I think your admirer's video sounds very nice. I quite like to see a pretty girl dance, although I would rather use YouTube than '5 credits'. Why do you recommend focusing on a woman who is employed? Does her job status affect her sincerity? Is only a "nice" woman without children? I suggest a 20 - 30s woman with a child would be a far better proposition than a teenager or a frump. Why limit your preference to only a ten year age-gap? If you look younger and good, relate well to younger women and have had such girlfriends in your own country, then there is no reason not to extend the gap to 15 or even 20 years. And why avoid Ukraine, Moscow and St. Petersburg? Have you had bad experiences there? Interestingly, when I contacted the Anastasia Customer Services to enquire why not one of my four dates showed on a visit, they replied that I should avoid younger women because they are "light-minded", and concentrate on older women, particularly from Russia. I have never considered Russia due to the mere size of the country if the meeting is unsuccessful, also the visa & registration headache, and besides, I have received Russian introductory letters mostly from unattractive gas-boilers from Siberia. But Stalin's Gulag is not on my menu. You advise Elena's Models. I notice it also has much recommendation by other members of this forum. I have (stupidly) been with only Anastasiadate.com, (apart from two months here last year, and one week with RW Globe/Global Ladies.com) but have been not happy with virtually everything about it, and will not spend any more money there. I want to try two sites that allow direct contact with women; with no agency/third party involvement, so I decided that in a few weeks I will set up a new profile here at Fiance.com and also Luckylovers.net - a site that offers many features and that I have read nothing bad about. But I fail to understand your preference for EM over Fiance because I see no difference between them. In fact, here at least they make it quite clear when a girl is agency-represented or with a private e-mail address. And one thing I particularly dislike about EM is how everyone's profile is accessible by anyone on the internet nosing about. Here the mens' profiles are accessible by only WOMEN and agencies ON THIS SITE. There are several types of membership on EM; which is the best one? I have thought seriously about setting up a profile there, and remain open-minded, but still feel rather apprehensive that all my personal details and photos are made available to the great unwashed. By the way, back to the main subject: Simpleton, are you still there?? Speak to us! What are your thoughts on many recent comments related to you? Any more bad dates, or have you decided no more Ukrainian girls for you? jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/18/2010 12:43:22 AM   Employment is certainly a good thing. There is still an ethic that exists in former Communist countries that the least you can do and get by the better. Oh, they are survivors, to be sure. Many lived with very little and they have 70 years of heritage standing in line for whatever they do get. But in the days of the old Soviet Union there was an often repeated joke which went "We pretend to work, and they pretend to pay us." So many learned to do with little - and to do even less in return. Obviously many of the the girls now looking for husbands were very small or weren't even born yet before the fall of the Soviet Union - but cultural tides like that die hard. And of course there are those who certainly work and work hard - those are the prosperous people and (unfortunately maybe) those less likely to want to leave their home countries. A slight aside - you KNOW that many Russian/Ukrainian gitls are very beautiful and with that beauty of course sometimes comes extreme vanity. But how can you tell, at a glance, if a girl you have met is likely to be very vain about her beauty? One thing I've noticed, and was simutaneously noticed by a friend of mine - in that Russian?ukrainian girls, especially the more vain ones, tend to have pictures of THEMSELVES exclusively on their mobiles (cell phones). Doesn't always work for detecting extreme vanity - but it works pretty well. Rick4girl Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/18/2010 1:08:33 AM   who wants a leech? its one thing to take care of a lady but i want one with dreams and ambitions. mutual satisfaction. 2 good incomes makes life great for both! Juffles Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/19/2010 6:16:56 AM   Danny, I realised your Skype name was meant in humour, but even so, nothing would surprise me, as don't we have a 'Wanker' and a 'Fart' on this forum? (And I'm not insulting anyone!) You may have over-focused on my questioning of your thoughts on selecting a woman, but perhaps I am a little more flexible in my search than you because if she happens to be rather young, without a job, or with children, it would not make her an automatic reject. After-all, she could be just the sweetie-pie who is my exact match. (No, really, I'm not an idiot.) I won't judge her if her faultless circumstances prevent her from working, but likewise if she is a lazy slob, then someone needs to crack the whip, and it won't be me. I can only add that if she has children it no doubt adds extra complications into the equation, but the profiles I have looked at after receiving intro. letters from women who have children, were mostly of a more sincere nature. Also, I was only suggesting that it is quite reasonable, for those who have such a preference, to be more flexible about factors like any age difference, because if two people get along well, then differences should be no barrier. I certainly agree that a model may not be the wisest choice, and in my case I don't fancy most of them anyway because I have always found most profiles and photos of model-women to be lacking in tenderness and personality. Although this is a sweeping generalisation, but one thing that really puts me off SOME (not the majority) of Ukrainian women, is those who have that ice-cold, hard look in their eyes. It gives me the creeps how any woman's eyes can reveal such severity. The most attractive and important feature for me in a woman when looking at her photos, is kind eyes that reflect good nature, warmth and sweetness. I agree that a more simple woman would be far more sweet than a conceited disco-dolly-bird. I'm sorry that your 40-year-old female friend had no luck finding a partner, because it's not so old. Maybe there are other reasons why she was unsuccessful or her correspondents having given up on her, such as her communication skills, ineffective profile or photos, efforts at internet dating, etc. But there is no doubt that as anyone gets older the number of potential suitors becomes fewer, and, sadly, even more so with women. If any mature woman is on an international introduction site seeking a partner from abroad, then her chances of success limited because the man has to invest an incredible amount of time and money in finding her, developing the relationship, marrying and 'importing' his treasure, that given the massive choice available, is he really likely to go to such efforts with someone so easily found in his own neighbourhood? Mature women, regardless of how wonderful they might be, are very easily available absolutely anywhere. Some may say it's even part of the 'unspoken agreement': A woman slightly out of my league, in exchange for devotion, a better life, and half my assets. Apart from north western Russia, can Ukraine really be any more "broke" than the rest of Russia? I'm not at all convinced they all want to emigrate, and I doubt that in their hearts most women from any Slavic or other eastern European country want to leave their family and friends, when actually presented with the possibility. Are you possessive? What's so wrong with other men looking at your partner? If you want to guarantee no pervy glances, perhaps target a woman from one of the English-speaking countries. (Ouch!) Or, test her devotion when going out, by suggesting she totally conceals herself with a bed-sheet. Elena's Models: You say you don't get "pestered with agency letters", but am I right in thinking they do have agency girls, because all those 'confirmed profiles' smell exactly of typical agency-type? And no, I'm not ashamed or embarrassed to be seen on a dating site - by the appropriate audience. But something about my profile being accessible by anyone on the internet just doesn't feel right. Perhaps it's security and identity matters, photos or profile being duplicated by scammers who scam women, (this really does happen). Still, I may risk it, but only briefly. Jetmba, you are right about certain cultural qualities remaining. I immediately noticed in Ukraine how there is quite a general lack of trust towards each other, sometimes even quite suspicious, which I think directly originates from Soviet times when citizens were obliged to inform on each other to the authorities about any illegalities, even if family were the 'infidels'. Oh, and don't remind me of photos on a phone! In Nikolaev the first girl I ever met from a dating site, I stupidly thought I would impress by showing her her profile photos that I had uploaded to my mobile phone. And before I realised, with my phone in her hand, she had gained access and was intensively looking at hidden photos of other women I was meeting. (Just as well I'm not into porn!) Understandably, impressed she was not. I'm still single. Rick4girl Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/19/2010 9:55:29 PM   there are quite a few ladies that want a guy who will move to their country. Ive met them as well as ones where the country of their match isnt as important as the guy. jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/20/2010 5:48:32 AM   Juffles - I AMAZED at how fast Ukrainian (and FSU) women adapt to and understand technology. I mean - I am no pushover myself, but these girls can get a mobile phone to do things that you never expect and much faster than you expect. Put it this way - no Ukrainian girl would ever use the method our parents did years ago with VCRs to fix the blinking clock that always said 12:00. My parents and many others simply put a piece of black electricians tape over the display to make it stop blinking. They never figured out how to program their VCR. A Ukrainian girl would have programed that thing to record individual shows for the next week, had it cook breakfast and do the laundry as well. These girls are clever. Case in point - in my early years I bought a special phone on ebay to use in Ukraine. It was RED (I thought) certainly a masculine color (like danger signs, fire engines and BLOOD). When my son first saw it in the US he said "Dad, why did you buy a lady's phone in pink?" I maintained it wasn't pink - it was RED - MANLY RED yet, besides that I'm taking it to Ukraine and there it will be seen as a manly red phone. When I got to Ukraine and took it from my suitcase, the first thing my lady said was "Why did you buy a woman's phone?" Several others made similar comments. I ended up giving her the phone (I din't pay much for it). In short order she had that thing doing things I never knew it could do. Bluetooth, multiple picture, using it as an MP3 player. The whole works. I was amazed at how fast she figured it out - and desptite the fact that I THOUGHT I had deleted certain picture of other women as you mention - she was able to find still others. When it comes to technology - these women catch on very quickly. Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > Quick Advice
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