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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > Why are you looking for a Russian lady and why are you looking for her in FSU? Author Post Ptichka Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/20/2004 4:05:26 PM   I think that a woman who concentrates on the family only, just like my mom first did, becomes not interesting after some time, she has no other topics to talk just the house and the family, and sometimes it's a big need to talk over much different things... When my boyfriend comes home after work, we discuss his work and mine, share impressions, help each other...and it's not like if he would come I would say "hey I cleaned there and there today", if I was of that kind he would get bored 5 years ago when we first met, and we would never date for 3 years now... Of course it's easy to say that Ptichka is a young girl and she is still developing, what a good position:))) But this is what I think and feel about this situation:) Ditto Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/20/2004 4:24:29 PM   Arta, He had some good seeds, but the coke kept him from finishing the thoughts. Always consider the source of the info. He catered to Upper-Middle Class White women who stayed home all day and only had the gala functions to which they could look forward. What theories of behavior would you propagate? Arta Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/20/2004 5:47:57 PM   There was a major problem with Freud. Even being Jewish he rejected God, his Creator. I'm interested in Frenkel's approach. But psychoanalysis is a pretty interesting thing anyway. Thunderdome Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/20/2004 6:08:17 PM   Toad, Sorry, that was not a very clever remark you made. The profession of housewife IS highly valued, in Russia especially, because it shows she can afford to stay home instead of having to go out to work. That’s a kind of luxury there, and you should have known that I suppose? Oh Ditto, And drugs kept the Stones from producing the goods eh? Examples galore, not the point here. He (SF) had to make an income, from those who could afford him, but his work still stands. More nuanced maybe, but they hold. Take your own presence here – what drives you, what’s on your mind? Surely not a homecooked meal, but if so I pity you. Ptichka, You’re a nice thing, you know that? Cute is the word, without any derogative hints, and trust me cute is attractive. I’ll be blunt in telling you you’re under 25. Yeah, you’ve hinted at your age, studying and that, but even without them your posts show your agegroup. Very clear opinions which sometimes, no offense, are a bit idealistic, and ideals are the youth’s forte. Toad’s very explicit opinion is, except from entirely his prerogative, based on experience, and trust me he’s older than you are. Blaming someone from having learned and/or experienced noone may do, and you also don’t but seem to question this. Having been blunt may I also border on being rude? You just may surprise yourself what you will think in 5 years time compared to what you think now. I know, I’m 300 years old ;-)) Arta….. … is older than Ptich’. Very prejudiced it sometimes seems, and likely even stubborn. Tell me I’m wrong? Ptichka Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/20/2004 6:16:07 PM   Thunderdome thank you a lot for the kind words:))) Yes you guessed I'm 22, and I'm not scared of my age, and I never hide it away:) I know that people change, and I changed much sinces I entered the University 6 years ago...but one thing you said made me very happy, you said that I'm sometimes a bit idealistic, and I'm very happy that I could stay idealistic sometimes...though no matter what hard life was for me, no matter that I grew up at 12 (nothing bad, just my soul and character grew up very fast)...and I'm happy that I'm able to keep something from the child :)) Hope that will be for future the same:))) Thunderdome Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/20/2004 6:45:59 PM   Ptich', some people will retain that sparkle for life, a sparkle others never seem to have posessed. If you do it'll be something unconscious, forcing it won't work, and I think it goes hand in hand with an open, spontaneous character. For you I hope that's you. For Toad I hope he'll not drool all over you, because I admit it is something quite rare and extremely attractive. Goodnight everybody ron Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/20/2004 10:21:49 PM   from toad: "Pitchka, Pitchka Pitchka.... I doubt any of the men here want to find, love, marry, finance and support a woman intent on developing her personality via having and independent social life and/or career. " Well toad let me get you out of your dreams i'm one of them, that is i like to have a wife who has a part-time job if there are kids and a part-time or fulltime job if there aren't. 57% of the Dutch women have a mostly part-time job and mostly of there own choosing (though tax structure and development of houseprices have something to do with it). Also there mothers who where forced by the value's of the prewar time to sit at home and watch the children felt incomplete when reaching middle age, and this feeling has been the mayor reason why many of them got themselves a divorce as soon as the kids where big enough. From Pitchka " think that a woman who concentrates on the family only, just like my mom first did, becomes not interesting after some time, she has no other topics to talk just the house and the family, and sometimes it's a big need to talk over much different things..." Or do you want to talk only about baby's kids finance what was on the soap today and what color pink the bathroom has to be. Someone mentioned that friends from before the marriage disappeared after the marriage, couldn't that have to do with that their single friends like to hear the first tree stories about the children but get bored after that. From toad "Those goals are in direct and complete contradiction to those who want a family, children and the joys of family life and the "team" work it takes to make a success out of it. " Well i kind of agree on that one, but there are many ways other than mom having to sit home 24/7, like dad to pitch on from time to time, occasionally grandma or the neighbor a 4 day working week etc. From arta "Toad, you are so categorical! Will you really respect this kind of wife you are looking for? A kitchen-sink thing?! " He just might respect that. If everyone from president to church, friends and colleges as well as many of the women they meet tell them this is the right way of living. And if both sexes are happy that way there is nothing wrong with that. The only thing they (religious right?) have to work on is to understand that there way of living is not the only one or they will have the same value's as the Muslims they despise so much. sanchopanza Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/21/2004 10:24:05 AM   re. " Ditto, what do you think of old Ziggie (that's obviously Freud)?" -I don't know what ditto thinks, my opinion: There's a reason for the 'nick-name' "Dr Fraud": Anything could be seen to mean anything! Only limited by the analyst's imagination! Ditto Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/21/2004 10:40:07 AM   I don't know that I consider Sigmund a fraud, but can anyone name me a psychological philosophy that has ever been dispelled? They stay on the books forever and any arguments used to refute them are seen as confirmation of the theory by those that hold them. I don't support any one of them in particular. The major theories each have bits and pieces of what I believe and some say the same thing in different terminology. Thunder, did you know that none of his patients ever left therapy until the day of their death or his? His practice wasn't about healing. His theories were self-prophetic. His observations were interpretted to support only that which he expected to find. Boring subject, let's get back on subject. Thread Title: to answer the second question first, if I wanted to find a Russian lady, wouldn't the best place be the FSU? GLTALLTOAD Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/21/2004 1:59:42 PM   Pitchka, your living situation with your boyfriend sounds great for two young adults to feed off each other's work experiences on adaily basis. But let me throw a wrench into your idillic program, please. How do you see your daily interactions if, let's say, you had two children ages 2 1/5 and 5? sanchopanza Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/21/2004 2:32:52 PM   re. Title of the thread: Perhaps the key word here is "Lady". Thunderdome Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/21/2004 4:25:37 PM   You mean with a capital 'L' or a capital error? Ptichka Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/22/2004 4:56:45 AM   The same Toad, the same. I know that I'm strong enough to do everything, and besides I work through Internet so there is no difference where to work. GLTALLTOAD Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/22/2004 11:25:35 AM   Pitchka, Nothing is the same in any household after children arrive. Absolutely nothing. You will probably learn the hard way. Good luck ................................................................. I want to clarify the concept of the "stay-home wife/mom" a little better for those who keep mouthing off turd after turd whenever I say what my ideal woman is. I do not support the idea of a woman having a job or career outside the home if there are children that need to be raised. Choose woman! Having children and a career away from the home are direct conflicts. Having a childless marriage and a career is NOT a conflict. Bringing children to life used to be the most unselfish act a parent could ever do, because it meant you devoted years of your life to raise, nourish, educate and provide for your child(ren). In essence you willingly gave up parts of your own life to serve the needs of the child you chose to give life to. Those, like myself, who chose to have children accepted it as a fair trade off because it satisfied our biological need to Xerox copy ourselves. These days women have no problem saying they want to have children, but they can't see past their damn noses that someone has to be there to raise the child for 18 freaking years!!! Those who want to keep or have a career in addition to having children will fail both at work and as parents....just as miserably as the millions of families doing it today. I know some do it out of need because they're single/divorced or sudden circumstances affecting the husband's income. But the effects are the same nevertheless. and Pitchka, before your blood starts boiling, please accept this is how things are here in the good old US of A, ok? However things maybe in FSU in general or Ukraine in particular is largely irrevelant because most western men will not consider living there with their foreign wives. I will never consider marrying any woman who thinks it's OK to go off to work while her children are raised by strangers or 'old enough' to fend for themselves. If you do not want to give your children the years of your own life they need and deserve to be brought up...do not have children!! The US SuperMom hero is a false character invented to give women hope that they can do it all (career, motherhood, marriage) while the reality is that all they managed to accomplish is a piss poor job at each one of them. toad Ptichka Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/22/2004 12:14:37 PM   Toad I don't know what mom I will be myself in future, but I know that I grew up in the situation when my parents both worked, and they had nobody to leave with me, I stayed home alone, did homework alone, played with friends or alone, had dinners alone, tried to help my parents and cleaned something in the house and so on, but I have to admit that I enjoyed it, I felt like a grown up girl, and my parents always talked with me like that. Recently my mom said that she was sorry that I was often left alone, but then she said that otherwise I wouldn't (meaning me Ptichka) become who I became and she is proud of what I became, so in general that was good for me, and I enjoyed that situation a lot!!! So from here all my thoughts about a woman developing herself and having children at the same time come from. I know that my was a success in that, and I know that it's possible to achieve that level as she did with some thinking and planning the day. One of my ex-groupmates who is married and they have a child has such a life. Both she and her husband studied and worked and they raised their daughter...and they are success :) So if 2 people care about each other, and a husband doesn't want his wife to stick on the same level she was 5-10 years ago, at the time when he working will develop himself he will try to settle things like that so that his wife develops as well, and they keep being together, instead of getting bored with his wife and leaving her. I don't say that this is the only scenario for all families, but this is my view on this situaton. southernman Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/23/2004 4:31:02 AM   Arta! Hello! I am searching for a lady that I have many of the same hopes, dreams, values and Ideas. I have only decided to open the doors of the world. I like most of what I have found in the FSU. I have found some or they found me that I just told I was not rich because that is what she wanted. That is not what I want out of life. So I open the door again. I had a lady at work that is attractive, ask me what traditional values are? The guys at work are trying for me too!! She said I wanted a lady from the 50's or 60's. This is a native american woman. There are more ladies in the FSU that have family values, morals and ideas. That is what I search for!!! Love, respect, understand, etc. ron Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/24/2004 1:47:39 PM   Ptiska might toad not have a point that two busy kids, even if you work at home, make a change to the amount of (effective) hours worked. That might make that your boyfriend has to do more housework and childcare than he bargened for. Even though both of you will think you two can solve it account for some problems. Or a nice article about shared household had the conclusion "She thinks he is lazy and he thinks she is nagging". Not that it is impossible but there seems to be differences in perception between men and women (what and how things ought to be handeled) that not everyone handels equally well. Ptichka Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/25/2004 6:05:07 AM   Well you see Ron, some may think about me how about a "wrong" girl, but I'm not a fan of completely clean house, I'm not running all over it over and over again to see if there is the slightest stop of dust, tro clean it. I don't care much about it, as a result our flat is not sterile but clean and we don't have any fights about the flat being clean or not. Again I want to say that here many people work and study and have kids and they are happy and they have time for everything, it's possible...it's just a matter of point of views on different things, and the thing of time management nothing else. And at the same time these people do have time to communicate with friends and go out. And some times to go out with different friends...it sounds hard, but the more work you have the faster you do that. It sounds strange but I experienced it myself, the more I have to do the more I actually do. The less I have to do and as a result I do nothing... nasfan6 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/25/2004 8:17:34 AM   Ptichka You just keep doing what works for you two. Definition of a traditional woman doesn't necessarily mean wearing the apron staying in the Kitchen and raising children. Though I may agree having the mother home during the early formative years I find as important but that doesn't mean the woman shouldn't want to grow personally and professionally. I like the fact that you stay at home and work. Just being home for children is important and yes you can juggle the work at home job with raising kids. Remember stay at home mom's have domestic duties that take away from the attention of children. So your job you currently do wouldn't interfer any more than the housewifes job. Which is a job. When I was young my Mother and Father Shared the responsibility of raising me, my Dad worked days and Mom worked evenings, I was never left unattended until I was older. Like I said in one of my earlier posts, if the lady I meet wants to work that's fine, if she wants to be a housewife that's fine also. I want her to do what works for her and that just eliminates one less problem in the relationship. I don't want her to think that she is required to choose one or the other. I've always believed that when you limit a persons right to choose what they want to do or become you are asking for problems in a relationship. There is more to a traditional woman than domestic duties, there is also outlook on life personal convictions and the ability to love, share and work for a common goal of the family. Later Mike Ptichka Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/25/2004 8:42:09 AM   Mike I completely agree with you that 2 should do what is good for them and not for somebody else. And I wasn't trying to make others think my way, I just expressed what I think about this idea and situation. If sometimes my words would sound not that good, I'm sorry I'm rather emotional and the topic which I'm interested about doesn't keep me calm:)))) Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > Why are you looking for a Russian lady and why are you looking for her in FSU?
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