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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > second thoughts Author Post ensata Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/19/2004 6:16:21 AM   DMA I wish you the best. Our greatest priorities need to be our children. Make the best go of it as you can with your wife. Hopefully your seperation will have caused her to think and have a genuine change of heart. Be positive and don't look back. God Bless, Steve GLTALLTOAD Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/19/2004 10:11:05 AM   DMA All of us here are complete and total 'outsiders' to what each of us lives with (or without) in our daily lives.....so in theory, we should keep in mind that in the end each of us is responsible for walking in our own shoes. Nobody is going to do it for us anymore...(damn it, I liked it when Mom tied my shoe laces, lol) Good luck to you, DMA. I'm not even going to plant seeds of doubt or profecies of doom for your 2nd round with your wife. Just keep in mind the forum will be here when and if you need it. dma Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/19/2004 10:32:39 AM   cheers guys BUT I'm not married! ;) Things have changed so quickly this past week it's unbelievable. My choice was an impossible one where at least one heart will be broken (nice). And today...my visa arrived. What makes it easier (if there is such a thing) is that I was totally honest throughout...not that it really helps when an unfavourable decision is made. I feel bad but probably know it's the right thing to do. TimH Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/19/2004 11:55:49 AM   Del`, dunno what to say really, apart from, I hope you have made the best choice for You, thats all you can do because as has been said, noone can walk our paths for us, and all decisions that affect each one of us must be made by the person they affect, and only that person. Noone can judge you, exccept maybe Olya, I hope she will recover and go on to be happy too. Last thing, if you wanna hang around here Im sure noone wil mind :o)) You dont have to vanish without trace you know :o) dma Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/19/2004 12:32:01 PM   I've always considered that I've made the best choices for me, but they've usually been selfish ones. Now I have to face up to the responsibilites that I have been given and embrace them no longer just thinking about myself. Russia had too many unanswered questions for my liking and that eventually told in my decision. I always recommend being up front and honest. There were a handful of issues that I felt she was evasive with or was giving excuses to that i didn't understand where I wanted and needed reasons in respect of the committal of a visit and forfeit at home. I like to play the odds, and I can't say that on balance having asked all that I did, that I was convinced to put my neck on the block despite feeling extremely close. Adam2301 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/19/2004 5:34:01 PM   DMA, I'm a new guy on this forum and I have certainly no right to annoy you with stupid questions but have you made the DNA tests for the child of your X ? Sorry if I sound impertinent but in Belgium, just separated (and divorced) men have this right and I have used it even if after 5 years, I have no doubt anymore that my poor younest boy is indeed my son :))))) I wish you good luck ! TimH Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/19/2004 5:48:22 PM   Interesting point Adam, but the acid test would be if 5 minutes after being born Del`s son tried to sell the midwife some hooky gear ;o)) Then we would know for sure it was "Del`s Boy " ;o))) dma Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/20/2004 3:17:45 AM   A paternity test had crossed my mind when we were apart prior to his birth as things were said at the time by others trying to inflame an already blazing situation - I had found a lab in London that would process a mouth swab DNA from father and child for approx £125 at the time, usually 3 to 4 times that cost elsewhere. It is easy to think back and perhaps imagine the possibility that it could be someone else's...but in reality I know she was head over heels crazy in love with me (crazy being the operative word), that it had to be mine. That and now having seen the boy, everyone can see he's a little me (such a handsome, intelligent kid. LOL), so now I don't see or am as concerned that a paternity test is necessary. It's easy for the mother to know her position, for some reason it's always hers! ;) As much as I've had to break contact quickly with Olya in the space of about 10 days, which was not easy, I've not yet had a response, nor do I really expect one, to my final letter sent. Now I have my visa, my ex won't feel totally secure until that expires 11th July and it's a reminder to me of what could easily have been... Not sure about the hooky gear Tim - that's more my brother's side; yes, he has a little Steve Austin! A conflict we will no doubt have is her broad Yorkshire accent to my posh Yorkshire accent where a "glass" will become a "glarse". :) crashnsplash Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/20/2004 6:45:12 AM   ok. I have to say something. When my daughter was born, me and her mother went through something maybe somewhat similar to what happened to you DMA. We had some serious problems come between us. It ended up her using my daughter as a pawn against me. It was terrible, something I do not ever care to look back on. Then one day all of a sudden she wanted to make amends with me. I gave in and she moved back in and everything was great for a while longer (I did it all for my little girl). But old wounds don't always heal and everything went south after a few more months. Only this time when she tried to take my home and my daughter away. I took her to court and I had unlimited recources to finance me. Of course she didn't have a chance in hell against me, and I made sure she paid the price. Not only did she not get the house but she lost custody of our daughter. In that time of about 8 months I knew better than to start any kind of new relationship. It seems to me that you jumped right into this and started a new relationship right away. From what I have learned about you it seems to me you put alot of time and effort into your realtionship with Olya. I understand that you laid it on the line from the beginning but I still think what you did to Olya was wrong. She is probably crushed DMA, and I can understand why you may never hear from her again. Please dont think I am trying to start in with you because I'm most certainly not. I just needed to say this. Like GL said, each of us are responsible for walking in our own shoes.. I am really glad you have a chance to raise your baby boy and you have a new start with his mother. I hope everything goes well for you, your boy and your lady, and things dont go south on you as quickly as they got better. I wish all the best for your family. To ALL: Dont start a relationship with any of these girls unless you are totally committed to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Its just not fair to them. To me, to have one of these ladies develop feelings for you and then to abruptly break it off for any reason is just as bad as the scammers you all talk about. These ladies have deep feelings just as we do. I have no more to say about this and I will not comment to any derrogatory comments made to me, so don't bother as I will not be coming back to this thread again.. ensata Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/20/2004 7:26:06 AM   This thread is one that I have intentionally falled very little, because I am of one mind with Crash on the committed and fairness issue. Some doubts are normally in any relationship, but I figure that dwelling on them magnifies them. GLTALLTOAD Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/20/2004 4:07:35 PM   OK...back to my sarcastic, annoying, 'devil's advocate', needling self, lol...>:) DMA, may I have Olya's phone number, e-mail address and photos, please?...:) Dale E Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/21/2004 3:52:43 AM   The LAST thing she is going to want is to hook up with another foreigner. I imagine she has a real sour taste in her mouth now. TimH Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/21/2004 4:27:06 AM   Say hello to Rodders from me please Del` ;o)) TimH Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/21/2004 4:28:54 AM   "everyone can see he's a little me" Capri Giha keys in his pocket, and a lap top by his cot eh ? ;o)) TimH Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/21/2004 4:32:25 AM   "To ALL: Dont start a relationship with any of these girls unless you are totally committed to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! " Been telling eberyone here that for almost 6 month Crash, for the new guys please read my thred "Who is scamming who" But please dont resurect the bigger !! ;o)) TimH Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/21/2004 4:34:48 AM   "I imagine she has a real sour taste in her mouth now." You really need to get to know Russian a bit better Dale !!! There is a Russian saying: "Better a sour tatse than no taste at all!!" Its one of the reasons many Russian women will stay with a man they love who is mean to them drinks and cheats on them, better to have a bad man than no man at all !!! Dale E Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/21/2004 9:41:57 PM   It is also one of the reasons many are divorced. Just because you get sh*t on, doesn't mean you're suppose to enjoy it. :o) michaelbutler Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/21/2004 11:47:48 PM   I think some of you are being a little harsh on DMA he has been scamed by the same lady as me as far as an honest woman goes by the way she is Russian.This was before his Olya Do any of you slagging on him have children????? I do.It would be a cold day in hell I would choose a Russian,US,or UK woman over my flesh and blood.As far as Women DMA I would stick with Olya.Your lady at home seems to me will just cause you more pain.Do not be with her just because you have a child together.It will never work.If you don't truly love your childs mother NOW you never WILL.I know it must be a nightmare to juggle three balls at once but some people can't even juggle one.I got devorced and went trough three yaers of hell by letting my X always use the child against me and for her way.Why quit DMA instead of maybe taking things a little slower with Olya and see if she understands?????? michaelbutler Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/21/2004 11:57:33 PM   GLTALLTOAD OK...back to my sarcastic, annoying, 'devil's advocate', needling self, lol...>:) DMA, may I have Olya's phone number, e-mail address and photos, please?...:) Thats just what I would want to hear when I am feeling down. GLTALLTOAD you would make a great Russian man.You are so kind and full of knowledge and have such a big heart. dma Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/22/2004 8:32:38 AM   ty guys for your comments. I will make some relevant posts after spending the weekend with my boy. There's no point giving O's tel. number - you'll never match up! ;) Plus, believe it or not I'm a gentleman and she's probably not enjoying the decision 'i made as the man' (see other threads) but one that'll you'll better understand in the coming week. Other than you all know I started this journey with the full intention of visiting Russia (scheduled 26 June) but as with all things in life other than death, there are no guarantees and I was very straight about everything which the two of us were acutely aware of. I will be posting the short-comings of my journey which has thus far been ignored/overlooked and incorrectly assigned a "scam" status where clearly 'second thoughts' existed prior to the last week where evasion and excuses caused that concern. Russian brides > Main Forum > second thoughts
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